The black edges of my eyesight threatened to consume my mind as I screamed her name. Jacob paused his mauling and lifted his head slowly, sniffing the air.
No I thought to myself. How stupid could I be? My sacrifice to keep Alice safe failed because I wasn't strong enough. Once again because of my worthless human frailties, Alice was going to be put in danger. Tears leaked down my cheeks leaving a clean trail down my face. I could hear a wheezing laughing noise coming from Jacob and I knew she was here.
"Anna…" I heard her gasp, no doubt at the macabre scene in front of her.
I slowly turned my head towards her heavenly figure. Even though her face was contorted in anger, horror and sadness flashed through her darkening eyes, she was beautiful. I sighed happily when I looked over at her but I knew happiness for me lasted only moments, my eyes widened in horror after I realized Jacob's growling presence to my right.
"Alice… You need to leave… now!" I coughed harshly turning my head to the side; rust stung the back of my throat as I saw bright blood painted on the grass by my head.
"No…" If vampires could cry I knew Alice would be, she shook her head sadly; "I refuse to let you die."
Jacob pounced trying to take advantage of Alice's seemingly distracted state but at the last second she moved out of the way and appeared by my side.
"Anna… why?" She sobbed, brushing the hair out of my glossy eyes.
"Alice…" I smiled and reached out to touch her pale face. Her skin was so smooth, and where it was supposed to be cold, warmth spread through my arm. "Alice… I love you."
The blackness began to spread as my heart began to beat erratically trying to keep me alive. I was getting scared now, I could practically feel the life being sucked out of me, but I tried to hold on. I just got her back and now fate was taking her away again.
"Alice"
My eyes were searching frantically around. I gripped her hand and choked back a sob. I was going to die.
"Alice!"
"Anna… I won't let you die." Alice whispered slowly as she began picking up my broken body gently. "I'll take care of you."
A loud rustling in the bushes had Alice turned and hissing. Jacob walked through the bushes, growling ferociously. Alice matched his growl with one of her own and stepped forward slightly to block Jacob's view of me.
"you won't win this Jacob." Alice whispered, hissing slightly when he took another step forward. "I know you know about my power. The others are going to be here soon, and what do you think will happen when I tell them what you've done?"
Jacob growled loudly again but stopped his progression towards us. Alice words were effecting him, Jacob might've been bloodthirsty, but he wasn't stupid. He knew he wouldn't be able to take down all of the Cullen's by himself.
"There will be another time… I promise" Alice snarled, a morbid smile touching the edges of her lips.
Jacob looked at her with hatred but slowly began backing up until he disappeared. A couple seconds later the leaves of the bush began rustling but only a human Jacob leaned through the bushes. His arms were shaking in controlled anger as he snapped, "If you change her leach I will personally kill you and every member of your family… you've been warned."
Alice hissed at him again and then whispered softly in my ear to hold on. She gently picked me up bridal style before she began running through the forest.
It was amazing; exactly like we were flying, the swirling greens meshing together into one giant vortex. I could no longer feel the pain running through my body, but slowly my eyes began to close.
"Anna… you need to stay awake. Please hold on. We're almost there." She held her voice strong but when I looked into her eyes I could see the panic and worry eating her from the inside. It was then that I knew we weren't going to make it, and I was going to die.
"Alice, it's alright. Thank you for coming back, I can die happy now." I smiled happily towards Alice's pained face to empathize my point. Tears slid from my eyes through betraying my happy facade, but I was too weak to do anything but look at Alice's face and ponder what was to come.
Alice slowed her pace and knelt softly placing me on the cushy grass. Broken sobs wracked her body as she looked at the faded look in my eyes.
"You can't die; I'm sorry Anna… so sorry. Please forgive me, forgive us!" She wailed grasping my limp hand between her strong ones.
"Alice…" I could only whisper now "There's nothing to forgive… I was never worth it" I coughed up more blood and then gasped quietly when I saw the dark look in Alice's eyes. For a moment I thought she was losing control of her blood lust and was finally going to end my pain, but then she shook her head and spoke.
"Not worth it? How can you say that! Why do you think we left in the first place?" She shook her head again seeming to shake her jumbled thoughts straight when a determined look flashed across her eyes. She lowered her lips to my ear and whispered. "I won't let you die."
I could feel her cool breath against the hollow of my ear as she gently pushed my head to one side. I knew what she was going to do and begged her to stop.
"Alice please, don't change me. I can't deal with me having to live forever without you." Tears started streaming down my face as Alice sobbed again softly before kissing the side of my neck. Despite the fear clutching my heart I couldn't help but shiver at how her lips felt against my blood stained neck.
"I promise" Alice whispered again before pain flashed across my eyes.
It was the most curious thing. Having your life-source drained so quickly. It was nothing like the release of cutting myself; it was so much more. I could feel all the tension and pain in my body leave through the hole in my neck and flow into Alice's awaiting mouth. But as quickly as the numbing feelings spread through me, it stopped. Alice released her hold on my neck and groaned in loss.
Unable to understand why she was stopping, I twisted my head to the side and gazed into her frenzied eyes. I could tell she was no longer breathing, but I could no longer realize why. I was about to reach for her fisted hand when the pain hit.
At first it was blinding and I cried out in agony but then I could comprehend what was happening and could feel Alice's head by my ear again.
"Its going to be okay Anna, I promise, I'm so sorry I left, it was stupid and immature." Her low humming voice calmed my screams until they became controlled groans. I couldn't believe I was being so selfish. I wasn't worth Alice's apologies, and most certainly had no right to cry out and add onto Alice's incredible guilt. It was at that moment that I decided I would remain silent for the remainder of my change.
If I concentrated enough I could hardly feel it, though it was more painful than Mark's beatings, it didn't come close to how my heart felt during those dark six months. More memories of the past swirled around my head causing me to clench my eyes in pain.
I can't do this for an eternity. So I again decided that as soon as I could I would try to end this pain and their guilt by ending my life.