"Carlisle, how is she being so quiet?" I could hear Alice's strained voice near my head but I continued keeping my eyes closed trying to keep the pain to myself.

"Honestly I have no idea Alice." I could imagine Carlisle shaking his head side to side.

The pain swelled in my stomach and I clenched my eyes tightly but remained silent, I refused to scream out and burden them any longer but it hurt so badly. My breaths began to get heavier as wave after wave of torture flashed through my body. I had to struggle to hold in my screams.

"Anna?" Alice was by my side now brushing the hair out of my eyes, "Anna it's alright, let it out. Stop holding it in."

I shook my head no and grunted when another blinding wave of pain wracked my body. I was losing my control! Gripping the sheets on the bed below me I slowly tried steadying my breathing and calmed myself down.

"Alice is right Anna its okay to let it out" Carlisle's voice was now on my other side but he had yet to touch me.

Tears pricked my closed eyelids and my heart clenched. Look what I was doing; even Carlisle was worried about me; I disgusted myself. Even when I knew how worthless I was I continued believing that they cared about me. The guilt swelled when I realized that they would have to relocate again once I woke up because I would know where they lived. I jealously wished they allow me to stay with them for a little while, but realization set when I remembered I was never going to be good enough for them.

I closed my eyes tight again and continued thinking about how worthless I was. Slowly I began thinking and replying the short months with the Cullen's reveling in the pain. I deserved this pain; I was selfish and horrid and I didn't deserve to live.

"It's almost over Anna" Alice's soft voice whispered into my ear. I shuddered at her cool breath, and lost all my concentration. Hopes of maybe I am good enough tore into me and the pain of reality threatened to rip me in half as a slow agonized moan escaped my lips. Alice quickly held my hand and wiped my sweaty face. If only she knew how much pain she was causing within my shattered heart.

"Anna, please talk to me. Why are you holding it in? Let it out, it's okay! I'm here for you"

I knew Alice was trying to make me feel better but rage flooded my heart as I weakly shrugged my hand out from hers. I opened my eyes and looked directly into her confused hurt eyes. I know it was wrong to get angry at her, in fact I wasn't even angry with her. I was angry at myself, for believing her, for wanting this, for being too weak to handle myself. I knew that if I continued believing in their guilt-induced lies I wouldn't ever be able to get back up if they left. If I was being completely honest with myself I knew that I wouldn't survive already when they left me again.

"Anna?" Alice paused looking down at her empty hand while looking for something to say. "I'm sorry." She mumbled almost to quiet for my still human ears to catch. She quickly got up from her kneeling position by my head and looked sadly at me once more over her shoulder before leaving the room. Carlisle followed behind her.

Even though I knew she was in the same house the pain in my heart was smothering. I had completely forgotten about the pain from the venom. The knife in my heart twisted angrily ripping the flesh to shreds as I let out a choked sob. Alice... ALICE!

I couldn't say her name out loud in fear someone would hear me, so I screamed it in my head. All the pain from the six months they were missing was swelling up and I had no more energy physically or emotionally to do anything about it. The walls in my mind were down and so there I lay dying from the inside out.

I knew I couldn't do this anymore. I had to end it before it got any worse. Gathering up all my strength I slowly lifted myself off the bed. The venom jerked wildly inside my veins as I forced my weak body to respond. It was such an odd feeling. I knew it should have hurt but the crippling pain was only found in my broken heart.

Now standing I looked around the pale room. It seemed I was in one of the Cullen spare rooms, with cream bed sheets and a matching cream leather couch in the corner of the room. There was nothing I was able to use to help me rid the Cullen's of myself, probably all removed when I got here to ensure I 'lived'. I had guessed Alice would have seen my decision to end my life in the forest; so I quickly cleared all thoughts as I painfully walked over towards the window across the room. It appeared we were on the third floor and a fair distance away from the ground. Smiling I realized that in my weakened state I would never survive if I were to 'accidentally' throw myself out the window.

I slowly removed the clasp; unlocking the window and slid it noiselessly open. It held no screen which also caused me to smile. No need for a screen if you never open the window.

Stretching my leg over the windowsill I quickly pulled myself out the window and looked down. Did I really want to do this? Of course you do… and if you don't you ought to. What, did you think that the Cullen's would miss you? They may have said they wouldn't let you die but if you kill yourself that would put no guilt on them. Just do it, you're a waste of skin anyway. Useless, completely useless; stop being so selfish you piece of shit and finish what Mark and Jacob couldn't. I shook my head. As much as I didn't want to believe the voice in my head I knew it was right. So after taking a deep breath I couldn't help but whisper:

"I really did love you. Why wasn't I enough?" before falling towards the ground.