It was finally going to be over; even if they were vampires they would never be able to get to me on time. The ground was coming closer every moment, but it was as if time slowed down and I was watching everything in slow motion. I regretted my decision; I was too young to die, but I knew it was the only way.

Questions such as "will it hurt" and "where will I go" passed through my head as time suddenly sped up and I was meters from the ground. Finally

Seconds from falling a streak of blonde appeared below catching me gently in their solid arms. I cried out in pain and could feel the instant bruises begin to appear on my back where I landed. The sudden realization that we were moving drew my attention back. I was still alive. Pitiful… you can't even die right.

"Why won't you humans ever learn?" Rosalie's eyes were dark as she continued running through the forest. "Is it not enough that we save your life? Why can't you show some decency and help us a little?" I could feel the growl she wanted to release but she kept it firmly within her chest.

Her words cut me deep, but I refused to answer. I knew that if I said anything I would most likely hurt her feelings. I'd caused enough pain already, so I kept silent and waited until she slowed her pace.

She eventually did and when I looked around we were in the middle of a clearing with a small pond glistening with ice crystals kissing its surface. I had figured we wouldn't be in Forks with Jacob and the wolves threatening to hunt them, but I didn't expect to be so far north. While we were running I hadn't noticed how cold the wind was, or the small patches of frost everywhere.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked.

"We're going to talk… just you and me." Her eyes still hadn't brightened, but they no longer looked angry. She handed me her winter jacket then stared at my bowed head for a few seconds before asking;

"What happened when we left?"

Rosalie Hale was the Cullen I knew the least when they lived in Forks. I always understood why she didn't talk to me much, first there was Bella and all the drama with her and Edward, and then not two months after she was finally changed, I pop into the picture and cause more drama. She was never outright rude to me like she was to Bella when they first met, but she never made an effort to talk to me. From what I knew of Rosalie, she didn't pussyfoot around anything. When she had something to say, no matter how painful she would just say it and then live with whatever consequence she received. This moment was no different.

I choked silently as pictures filed into my head, fogged by forced lack of remembering, the first week after they left consumed my vision. I saw so many memories and realized none of them were happy.

I choked back a sob and rubbed at my heart. I knew it wouldn't help anything but I couldn't help but try tone down the unbelievable pain the memories caused.

"Anna… talk to me." Rosalie was now kneeling by my side gripping my shoulders trying to get me to look into her eyes. I refused and tried my best to look anywhere else. Finally she grabbed my chin and forced me to meet her gaze. I could see the guarded mask of her eyes. What one would first assume to be determination I knew what the true look in her eyes was. It was something I was forced to look at every time I looked in a mirror. It was the look of fear and pain.

I sighed. "It doesn't matter does it? No matter what I do… I end up hurting the people I love. I don't deserve to live."

I could hear Rosalie's soft growl but refused to look her in the eye.

"Rose… I'll make everything better if you just leave me here. I'll drown myself… die of hypothermia… I don't care… just… please." The self-hatred was consuming me from the inside out.

When she didn't reply I gave up; I couldn't handle it any longer and so I looked up into her eyes and was shocked by what I saw. Her arms were wrapped around her jacketless torso and she was sobbing quietly.

"Ro…Rose?" I stammered. I couldn't understand why she was acting this way. From what I learned from Alice; crying for a vampire was very painful because the need for release could never be met.

"Oh god… oh god… what did we do?"

I rushed to her side and brushed her blonde curls gently out of her eyes.

"What are you talking about Rosalie? You didn't do anything"

When I tried grabbing Rose's hand to help her up she flew back from my touch and snarled softly. I couldn't move I was so stunned. I told you, you were disgusting… even Rosalie can't stand your touch, what makes you think she'll want you around their house?

"Please… I can't watch anymore" Rosalie bowed her head ashamed and slowly walked towards me again. "How did you do that Anna? I could see… so much pain. You were so scared. You tried to fight but you couldn't. I saw it so many times… different people every time… and then all I could see was the dead defeated look on your face."

I backed up at her words. What is she talking about? But I already knew. She knew something I never intended any of the Cullen's to know about.

"Anna… when were you raped?" Rosalie whispered.

Tears streamed down my face as I backed up farther. My back was now towards the pond and I knew I was close to the edge. The pain from the venom was beginning to come back as ripples of pain ripped through my heart.

"What do you care?" I muttered. I know it must have hurt her, but it was true! Just because bad things happened while they were away they were going to feel sorry for me? It was just another reason for them to feel guilty and keep me around. I was disgusted with myself. I wasn't sure how she found out but I somehow knew it was my fault. Once again I was causing them pain.

"What do you mean? Of course I care!" She was getting upset now, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care. Fury pulsed through my veins.

"You left!" I whispered. I knew by telling her all this I was only going to hurt myself, but I couldn't do it anymore… I couldn't handle how nice they were being, I couldn't handle it because the reality that they would leave again was constantly shredding my heart. "I loved you all, but that wasn't good enough. No one said goodbye… no one said anything. Imagine it Rose… one day you're sitting there in total bliss because of how happy you are; and then you learn that your entire life left you. Imagine learning it from people who want to kill you because you were friends with the enemy; sitting there and telling you to your face, enjoying the pain." I was shouting now, the tears continued to flow violently down my cheeks. "Imagine living every day wishing you were dead, but because of that small shred of hope that your life would come back for you, you don't kill yourself. Finally when they do, you realize that they still don't love you and only take care of you because of their un-necessary guilt. Can you imagine that Rose? Yes I went through hard times, but don't you dare start to feel sorry for me, pretending that you care, when I know that you don't." I began hysterically laughing even though nothing I just said was humorous. "Even monsters aren't this cruel."

I was getting dizzy now and black surrounded the edges of my eyesight. Backing up slightly I could feel the pond's cold water pooled around my feet. The shock of the cold caused me to momentarily forget what I was saying. It made me forget the memories, the pain in my heart, everything; so I continued backing up relishing the pain the cold water caused against my burning skin.

"Stop Anna, you're still human, that can kill you" Rosalie got up from her sitting position and began slowly walking towards me.

"Good." I whispered before I dived myself backwards into the freezing pond.