I opened my eyes and realized we were back in Alice's room. I jumped to the floor and collapsed almost immediately, my hunger flaring wildly.
"Alice," I coughed, clearing my throat a couple times. This only managed to irritate my throat as venom pooled and fell from my lips onto the hard wood floor.
Alice rushed to my side, staring into my blackened eyes while her hands automatically held my head.
"You just fed… this shouldn't be happening," she protested, her eyes looking around the room deep in thought, flashing onto my dark eyes every couple of seconds. "The memories…" she declared finally, her eyes darkening in color before they flooded back to her normal shade of gold.
"Alice!" I gasped as another wave of hunger crashed. "I…. this really hurts" I groaned, rubbing my throat and trying to uselessly soothe the burning.
"I know," she said, gently pulling on my arms and helping me up. I almost crumpled in pain but she steadied me. "You'll have to feed again."
Taking my arm gently she began leading me out the door and down the stairs. The rest of the Cullens were nowhere to be seen as we passed the living room and walked out the door.
I was immediately attacked by all the scents within the forest. All thought process faded when the hum of heart beats reached my ears and the scent of blood filled my nostrils.
A feral growl erupted from my chest as I tore away from Alice and began running through the forest searching for the blood I knew would cure this burning torture. Soft footsteps could be heard a couple meters back as Alice followed close behind.
Something gripped my shoulder, forcing me to stop my aimless wanderings and spun me around. Alice's eyes were patient as she looked into my wild ones. I hissed at her, baring my teeth as a warning to her to let go but she didn't even bat an eyelash as she gripped my hand tightly and began leading me towards a different part of the forest.
Soon I could smell a small herd of deer in the near distance and Alice demanded to stay here while she got me one. She disappeared and soon after the call of the blood was too great and I began running after her in anticipation of what was to come.
The smell was getting stronger as the fresh blood from Alice's kill wafted towards me. I picked up my speed and soon I could see tiny Alice with another large buck deer in her arms moving towards me. The demon inside of me roared in challenge as I picked up my speed and began snarling loudly.
Alice tried shouting something to me but I was too far gone and couldn't hear her. Our bodies collided as I threw Alice and the deer to the forest floor snarling above her. The blood was too close though and I could no longer resist the sweet temptation as I tore into the neck and began feasting on the dripping red as it flowed out.
All senses faded out as mouthful after mouthful came to me, I couldn't hear anything but the slowing of the deer's heartbeat. I couldn't smell anything but the rusty tint from the blood. I couldn't feel anything other than the soft nectar flowing across my tongue, down my throat. I felt complete and wanted to do nothing but feast forever, but soon there was nothing left to be had.
I tore my mouth from the deer's neck and threw it away agitatedly. I needed more blood! I could feel the hunger beginning to flare again when I looked down and noticed Alice lying on the ground with a cautious, scared look on her face.
My eyes locked onto hers as the wind swirled around my nose. I inhaled deeply, my venom pouring at the delightful scent being carried in the air. When I analyzed it closer I realized it was the blood I so craved, and Alice.
Breaking our stares I began looking around her face, noticing some blood smudged on the side of her cheek. And then, slowly as I analyzed the rest of her, I began growling softly and moved towards her.
Blood, her clothes, her arms, almost everything was covered in blood from the deer. My mind screamed for me to turn away and go find another deer; to stay away from Alice because I was going to make a horrible mistake, but I couldn't. The tempting call was too strong as the wind blew the delicious scent towards me again.
"Anna." Alice's voice cracked when she sat up and began moving backwards slowly. "Anna, you don't want to do this… please" she begged.
I stopped for a moment, her words hitting a chord within me but I was still too far gone. A moan of need escaped my mouth as I began moving forward again choppily. It was as though my mind and my body were fighting each other as I jerked my way towards Alice who was still trying to move backwards away from me.
Collapsing to my knees, I grabbed Alice's foot and dragged her towards, me inhaling deeply when the scent's potency increased. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I lowered my mouth to Alice's shoulder and began sucking and licking at the dried blood stained there. I moaned in satisfaction and continued across her collar bone towards her other shoulder.
Alice leaned back and brought my head closer to her as her breathing increased in pace and volume.
"Anna," she breathed attempting to push my head away. "Stop please!" she begged as I lowered my mouth and began sucking the material across her chest, trying to get the blood from her shirt as she shivered and moaned again.
Her shirt soon didn't have enough blood as I ripped it from her body and began licking the stained blood from her skin. She writhed and groaned as I slowly made my way to her arms and gently sucked all the blood from her there as well.
It was all so surreal. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. A new hunger was tearing at my body, but this one fed on Alice's sounds and movements as she wreathed below me begging for more.
I moaned in longing as I licked my way back towards her neck and began kissing the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder, excitement flowing through me when Alice moaned loudly, her hips grinding against mine, and moved her hands to explore my body. Soon her hands went to my head, removing my lips from their worshipping and forced them to hers as she kissed me passionately.
Fire pulsed through my veins as she flipped us so she was on top. Her hands tangled tightly in my hair as I caressed her body, reveling in the softness. Her tongue slid across my bottom lip as I opened my mouth and welcomed the new sensations flowing through my body.
She tasted so good! It was just as good as blood but different at the same time. Each satisfied my needs perfectly, but both in very different ways.
I flipped Alice over again, taking control of the kiss as I slowly moved my hands towards Alice's belt buckle. I had only just gotten it undone when Alice disappeared from underneath me.
Freezing in my spot, my eyes widened as I realized what I had just done with my best friend. I had known that I had some feelings for her, but I had no idea they were so deep or that they might've bit me in the ass by overwhelming me like they did.
I lifted my head slowly to see if she had disappeared from the area completely or just from underneath me when I saw her leaning against a tree breathing deeply. She was still shirtless as it was right beside me, and was sparkling brightly from the strip of sunlight that fought its way through the tree's protective canvas.
I could immediately feel the impulses to go back to her and kiss her hard, forcing her back against the tree where we would both sparkle brightly as we made love, continuously wrapped in each other's arms as we had orgasm after orgasm, but I resisted them by taking a couple deep breaths to clear the fog in my mind as well.
After I had calmed the erotic images in my mind, the ache of rejection washed through my body, causing me to suddenly stop breathing and to keep from crying out. I had just offered her everything of me, and she didn't want it. If the rejection didn't kill me I knew the embarrassment just might. Being a family of many 'talents' the word would soon be spilled and then what? What had I done?
I looked up and noticed that Alice's breathing had calmed down but she was still leaning heavily against the tree. I cried out in anger at myself and smashed my fist against the earth causing a small fist sized hole to dent the smooth ground we were just rolling on. The pressure in my eyes increased as I slowly calmed myself down and began to think. I couldn't stay. I knew I couldn't stay. I wanted to stay, so badly; but I knew I couldn't.
Alice's eyes met mine as soon as I made the decision. I knew she wouldn't want me to leave out of duty, but I knew there was no other way. I couldn't stand to be there watching Alice day in and day out, longing for more when I knew she would never want to be with me that way. I realized with great dismay that I could never just be friends with Alice Cullen again, no matter how much I wanted it; I knew I needed more, so much more.
I closed my eyes tightly and picked up Alice's shirt, pressing it up to my nose I inhaled deeply savoring the mouth-watering scent before I stood up and began walking towards Alice who was now directly facing me in only her jeans and bra.
I immediately averted my eyes and chanted in my mind, 'She doesn't want this, she doesn't want this.' Over and over until I reached the tree she was at and handed it to her. Alice took the shirt from me and dressed quickly.
I turned to leave when a petite hand touched my shoulder.
"Anna, wait,"
I stopped, my heart throbbing when I realized how much of a hold she truly had on me. It really should have been obvious about how much I truly did love her before, but it was only now when I was getting ready to leave, that I knew I would do anything for Alice.
My back was still turned when she began speaking again. I knew she wanted to look me in the eye but I just couldn't force myself to turn around and see whatever look her eyes possessed, or let her see what mine held at the moment.
"I just can't right now… I do love you, truly I do, but I don't know if we can do… that. If I'm able to." She stumbled over her words so whatever soothing effect her tone might've had washed away and left only the brutal rejection to scar my heart. I paused for moments hardening my heart allowing the self-hatred strengthen my words as I spat out:
"It was wrong of me… who am I…" I paused, shaking slightly, "to think that someone as perfect as you would want to be with me; some lost and lonely tag along? It's pitiful really and I'm sorry I ever inconvenienced your life," I hissed the last part jerking my shoulder back when Alice began rubbing it softly. I didn't deserve her sympathy. I was a monster.
The silence was deafening even for us immortals, and I couldn't take it any longer. I began walking away but was quickly halted once again by Alice.
"Stop!" she called out a little louder than before.
I froze, rooted to my spot, and choked back a sob. Alice paused for a couple minutes, I could hear her footsteps moving a step closer and then another one back, seemingly debating with herself on whether she should come to me or not. It killed me that her indecision was my own and that even if I so dreadfully wanted her near me, I wouldn't be able to stand the heartache.
"Turn around?" she demanded and immediately against my will I turned around and looked up towards her. She was about a meter away and was still seemingly debating on whether to come closer or not. 'If I was her I would be running for the hills,' my mind cackled, causing me to look down ashamed.
"I…" What did I want to say to her? I didn't think I would be able to stand there forever; the heavy emotions were already weakening my knees threatening to bring me down. "Please, just… let me go."
Alice's eyes widened as my legs visibly shook and a pained whine escaped my chest with the strain of keeping me on my feet. My heart begged for me to take back my words and relieve this pain within in but I knew there was no other way. The choice had to be made and now all I had to do to make everything better was to disappear forever.
"I'm sorry," Alice croaked bowing her head and nodding softly.
She looked so broken but I couldn't handle being there any longer, I needed a way to release the agony and because I couldn't cry anymore I decided running away from my emotions would be the next best thing; so I turned and ran.