DISCLAIMER: CONTRARY TO MY WISHES, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER (WHO BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING), ARTEMIS FOWL (EOIN COLFER), OR HARRY DRESDEN (JIM BUTCHER). THEY AND ALL OF THEIR FELLOW CHARACTERS, BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE AUTHORS.

A/N: Dresden makes his first appearance. This is much shorter than I would like, so please forgive me my short comings. This also isn't up to my usual standards… Any and all reviews are welcome, as always. I will try to update this chapter to a much better written version soon, so you do not have to continue if you would prefer to wait for version 2.0. This jumps around quite a bit, so if it's confusing, I'm sorry. This is just… I had it done and I haven't updated in a while, so I figured I'd put it up for everyone who is waiting for the next chapter.

Artemis Fowl and Hogwarts

Chapter Four

Ron stared forlornly up at the expensive London flat. "Great, another Malfoy," he muttered. He still was uncomfortable from all the stares he'd gotten on the Underground. Ron was sure he'd never seen so many uniforms on one street, and he didn't appreciate Muggles looking down their noses at him.

"Ron! Come on, we're already late," Hermione hissed at him. She turned to back to the now open door.

"Good morning," said one of the biggest Muggles Ron had ever seen. Hermione took a step backward, surprised. That door wasn't supposed to be open… was it? Recovering herself, she quickly gave her practiced spiel on how they were Hogwarts representatives, had come here looking for a Mr. Artemis Fowl, and were here to show him around the wizarding world. She paused for a breath, grin in place, although it looked a little forced.

Ron finally managed to pick his jaw up from the ground, only to murmur, "Blimey! He's almost as big as Hagrid!" Hermione's eyes widened in shock, and her bright grin fell from her face faster than a rock off of Big Ben. She pasted the grin back on, and quickly elbowed Ron in the stomach. "Oof! That hurt, Hermione! What'd you do that for?"

"Any way, would you mind telling Artemis that we're here? He should have received a note telling him of our arrival," Hermione continued as if nothing had happened.

Butler's eyes narrowed as he measured Ron, debating on whether or not he might not be a threat. Deciding that Hermione was the one to keep an eye on, he gestured for the two of them to come in.

88888888

"Welcome to the Hogwarts Express! We have all kinds here, so come one, come all!" The Weasely twins bellowed, leaning out the window as the train started down the tracks. They waved to the people still standing on Platform 9 ¾.

"Fred! George! Get back inside the train!" Mrs. Weasely shrieked, chasing after the train, curly red hair flying.

"Ignore them," Ron sheepishly told Artemis. "Oy! Now, I'm a prefect, and I know you two know the rules and you two need to…" His voice trailed off as he stared up into his brothers' faces. They were grinning evilly down at him.

"Oh yes. We have to do what ickle Ronnikins says, because he's a prefect now," one of the twins teased him, mimicking their mother perfectly. Harry snickered, then stopped when Ron glared at him. Artemis just raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he does have a point. You do have to do what he says now," Hermione spoke up, pushing forward till she was facing Fred. "Besides, there's a professor right there, if you didn't notice. He could give you detention for not being in the train properly," she added condescendingly, motioning towards the closed compartment beside their group.

88888888

"What do you think? First class or second?" Dresden asked Bob, settling back into the red velvet cushions. His long legs were stretched across the spacious compartment and the human skull by his side rested on a forest green silk pillow. A paperback book was propped in front of the orange lights that peered from the eye sockets.

"Hmmm… First, you should tell all the girls to strip! Then, let me free!" the skull suggested hopefully. It had turned around to face Dresden, scaring several Muggle born first years who were peering into the compartment. Dresden stared at them, waiting for them to leave. One of them, Grace, giggled nervously, and then ran down the aisle.

88888888

A/N: I am truly sorry that I have not been able to update this in a LOONG time. I am working on the fifth chapter RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately, as everyone has found out, I still do not have it done. There is a lot of stuff going on right now, and, as such, I have been unable to update. I will get it done as soon as I can, but I make no promises. SORRY!