By the beginning of July, Lulu couldn't fight it anymore. She was falling in love with Spinelli. She examined her feelings with Dr. Winters and had decided to tell him, but she didn't know how. But she decided that before she did she had to tell Logan and Johnny that her feelings had changed.

She told Johnny over lunch and she could see that he was hurt, but he'd tried to hide it. He was graceful and wished her and Spinelli well.

She knew telling Logan alone was probably a bad idea, but she had to. She couldn't humiliate him by dumping him in front of someone.

She listened to him talk for a while, making vague references to Iraq. She responded as a friend. Then he told her how she was the girl he pictured in Iraq. She couldn't let it go on this way; she had to tell him.

"I told you all this before you lost your memory, but I know you don't remember. It feels like I'm repeating myself, but I know to you I'm not; I'm telling you this for the first time."

He pulled her closer.

"This is what happened the first time I told you," he said in a silky voice that made her uncomfortable.

He tried to kiss her.

"Logan, don't."

He pulled her even closer, trying to press his lips against hers.

"Logan, don't!"

He stopped.

"Come on, Lulu," he said in a wheedling tone. "Why are you fighting me so hard? Why won't you try to let me help you, help us, get back what we had?"

"Because I don't wanna get back what we had! I don't love you!"

"You don't remember loving me."

"No, I don't love you! I may never get my memory back, but it doesn't matter where you're concerned. I don't love you. The feelings are not there."

"Let me guess. You love Spinelli?"

"Yes. I've been trying to find a way to tell you. I haven't even told him yet."

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled," Logan said furiously.

"I hope so."

"Why don't you date both of us and see who you choose later?"

"No more competitions; they only hurt people."

"Did Spinelli tell you that, too?"

"I know I made him compete with two other guys for me. I know I chose you and you weren't even competing. Well, you were, but you thought I was just a game. I know you slept with Maxie after you slept with me on a bet. Maxie explained the whole situation after you told me you slept with her the day you woke up. She apologized."

"You don't remember forgiving me for that."

"I know Scott offered me a deal, which is why I took you back."

Lulu didn't know that Logan had sent Scott to remind her of that deal.

"You were looking for a reason to take me back."

"Yeah, well, I was an idiot! Since then you tried to frame an innocent man for murder; you admitted that to me before and after I lost my memory. I could never be with someone so selfish! I don't love you, Logan. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

"Fine."

He stood up and stormed out the door of the Penthouse, leaving Lulu breathing hard. She'd really been afraid he would try to hurt her. Spinelli was at Maxie's and Lulu decided to go to Kelly's, not wanting to be alone, to wait for him to show up. She knew he always brought dinner home for both of them. This time he wouldn't have to order to go.

"You OK, Honey?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I just had to tell Johnny and Logan that I didn't love them. I love Spinelli. He doesn't know it yet, but I need to be honest with all of them."

"You did the right thing."

"Now how do I tell Spinelli I'm in love with him? What if he doesn't feel the same way anymore?"

"You put him through a lot before you lost your memory."

"Do you think it's too late?"

"You'll never know unless you tell him."

She had an idea. She ordered his favorite foods and asked Mike to bring them as soon as Spinelli arrived.

"Surprise," she said, smiling at him when he walked in and saw dinner already on the table.

Mike had been quick; as soon as he'd seen Spinelli coming he'd brought the food out. Lulu wondered how he'd managed to be so quick.

"Hi," he said, grinning at the table, then at her.

"I have to tell you something."

His face fell.

"And you've ordered The jackal's favorite foods to let him down gently?"

"No, it's not bad."

"Oh," he said, relieved, "OK."

"I told Logan and Johnny we can't be together."

"You did?"

She laid out their food as she talked.

"I did. Johnny's hurt, but he took it well. Logan's mad, but he didn't hurt me. I couldn't lie to them anymore. I can't be with someone who cares so little for human life that he would frame Johnny for what Diego did and let Diego go on killing. As for Johnny, I just don't feel it and I don't understand why I was attracted to him in the first place. He makes me nervous; he's a loose cannon. Logan is worse, but I think Johnny could be dangerous, too, under the appropriate set of circumstances."

Spinelli was relieved, but he also had to push away the hope that she would decide to choose him. He was never going to get his hopes up about that again. Even if she chose him now, if she ever regained her memory she might change her mind. He didn't want to be rejected again.

Logan looked through the window, hoping to see Lulu alone. No, she was with Spinelli, of course. Not for long; he was going to take care of this right now, one way or another.

"There's something else you need to know, too," Lulu began.

But the door banged open and Logan stormed in and ran over to their table.

"Are you happy?" Logan screamed in Spinelli's face.

"Logan, leave him alone!"

Lulu jumped up and tried to get between them, but Logan grabbed Spinelli and pulled him between himself and Lulu.

"She doesn't want me anymore! Does that make you happy?"

"I'm happy you can't hurt her anymore," Spinelli said, more calmly than he felt, as he stared into Logan's wild eyes.

"Leave him alone and get out of here or I'll call the police," Lulu said, panicking.

"You would, wouldn't you?" he asked, sad and angry. "You would really call the police on me. Why should I be surprised? I mean, if you'd hit me over the head with a wrench and put me in a coma you'd do anything, wouldn't you?"

"You scared her into doing that; she thought you were gonna hurt her!"

"Who made her think that? Huh? You told her about-"

"I told her about the trail you were leaving! It led to you, not Johnny Zacchara! You got yourself into that mess! You caused her to hit you! Don't turn it around on her! Leave before we call the police, or The Protectors of the Night! I think you want them even less than you want the police, considering you left Mr. Sir's children unguarded; he's not happy with you!"

Lulu took out her cell phone and made as if to dial. Mike came out of the office.

"Get out of here," he snarled at Logan, "or I'll throw you out myself!"

Logan kicked one of the chairs over, then left, banging the door open as he ran out. He couldn't slam it shut because it was on a pneumatic elbow.

"You OK?" Spinelli asked as Lulu gave a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, but I think I've lost my appetite."

Spinelli nodded.

"Would you please wrap the remainder of The Blonde One's thoughtful repast?" he asked Mike, who nodded and went to get containers.

"But if you're still hungry-"

"The Simian has a way of depleting The Jackal's appetite under the best of circumstances."

She laughed.

It hadn't gone as she'd planned, but as she watched him put the things away back at the Penthouse, she knew she couldn't hesitate. She had to tell him now. She needed him to know and she needed to know if he still felt the same.

"About what I was gonna tell you before Logan interrupted us," she said hesitantly when he sat back down next to her. "I- I love you."

"I love you, too."

"No, I mean, I'm in love with you."

He stared. She took his silence and the surprised, confused look on his face to mean he didn't feel the same way.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?" she asked sadly.

"It's not that I don't; it's that I'm afraid to."

"Why? Because of the way I was before?"

"Yes and no. You don't remember the way you were before. You don't remember being my friend half the time and then the other half treating me like an inconvenience at best and an intruder in your life at worst. You don't remember all the choices you made that made me feel like I would never measure up to someone like Logan Hayes. You love me now, but what if you get your memory back tomorrow and change your mind again? What if you don't remember anything that's happened over the next few months and that journal you keep is not enough to help you retain the feelings you feel for me tonight? Or what if you do remember, but you also remember everything that happened before and you change your mind and become angry with me again? What if the past few months are negated by your returning memories? You'll reject me again. You'll- you'll break my heart again."

"You're afraid to take the risk."

"I've lost Georgie. I don't wanna lose you, too. I can't. Your feelings for Johnny and Logan changed when you lost your memory. Your feelings for me could change when and if you regain it."

"What if I don't regain it?"

"What if you do?"

Someone banged on the door, making them both jump. Whoever it was, they were very, very angry. Lulu and Spinelli were about to have a very unwelcome visitor.