A/N: Well, it's December 26th. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday yesterday. I got to see my nieces yesterday and they are getting so big. They are adorable and love everyone. I sometimes wish I had their loveable personalities.

I had a tough time finding the time to write, so I may not be able to update Sunday, especially since I'm going to the last Bills game of the season against the Patriots with my father. Look for me, I'm going to be freezing my buns off during the entire game. Hope to have chapter 46 up soon. Thanks for all of you.

DISCLAIMER: I'm still not Stephenie Meyer. Wish I were though. Can't wait for Twilight on DVD to come out. Should be around my birthday too.

Now… ON WITH THE SNOW, I MEAN SHOW…

BPOV

November was crazy for me. Each day I would get up, go to school, ignore the fact that Lauren and Jessica were talking about sleeping with my boyfriend, come home, get a quick dinner, head to the hospital with mom or Emmett or dad, visit PJ, come home, do homework as quickly as possible, call Edward, and go back to bed so I can do it all again the next day.

Outside of school, Edward and I didn't really see each other anymore. He had started daily basketball practices. The first game of the season was tomorrow, the day after Thanksgiving. We were hosting a basketball tournament at the high school against three other teams. Today was going to be hectic, because instead of a normal relaxing holiday dinner, we were going to spend part of the day at the hospital.

PJ was doing better. The respirator had been taken out of his nose, and he was breathing on his own. He still had a few more things he had to do before he was allowed to come home. I could tell mom was sad that PJ wasn't home for Thanksgiving, but she was trying to be strong for everyone.

Edward would call me each night and we would talk. Sometimes our conversation would be sweet. We would talk about how much we missed each other, or how much we loved each other. Other times we would let the conversation lead to other places. A couple times I was blushing before I realized that the tone of Edward's voice had dropped and at times sounded strained.

This morning, mom and I were cooking and making a few different dishes to take to the Cullen house. We were going there because it was biggest and everyone could hang out there throughout the day without being too crowded.

By 1:00 we were crowding around a large dinner table and the guys were rushing towards the TV to keep an eye on the football game score. The food was passed around and eaten abundantly. There was laughing and playing, goofing around, and in all, a lot of love for one another shared. At about 4, my family and I gathered our things to head to the hospital.

The ride to the hospital was much quieter than the Cullen house. We all seemed to be coming down from the high of the holidays as we thought about my brother who was fighting for his life on a daily basis.

The nurses in the neonatal unit knew us all by name now. They all welcomed us and offered their holiday wishes as we got dressed and ready to visit PJ. He was getting bigger and had finally gotten larger than five pounds. He would probably be coming home within a couple weeks. I was happy that he was a strong little boy. He looked my father too. But he had Renee's eyes. Charlie was showing off pictures at work all the time now. Even Emmett and I had put a picture of PJ in each of our lockers.

Today we were allowed to take him out of his "box" and hold and cuddle with him. He smiled up at me and melted my heart. I think he knew that he had me and everyone else wrapped around his, little perfect fingers. His eyes were bright and happy as I held him. I let him wrap his hand around my finger as we sat rocking in a chair near his incubator.

After a few moments, Renee's doctor came in and smiled at our happy family. "Mr. and Mrs. Swan… Bella… Emmett… Happy Thanksgiving. How's the family?"

"Good Dr. Hutchinson… How's PJ doing today? He seems even better than yesterday." I could tell my mother was hopeful to get her baby boy home as soon as possible.

"He's doing amazingly well. In fact, I was just coming to find out if you all wanted to take him home today. Are you interested in taking this little guy home?"

My mom's smile got so big. She rushed over to the doctor and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She and the doctor left the neonatal unit to start the check out process while Charlie and Emmett rushed home to grab a car seat and warm clothing for PJ to wear outside.

I sat happily with him in my arms talking and cooing to him. I was excited to have my brother home. I knew this meant that I wouldn't be returning to Edward and Alice's house tonight. I would have to remember to call them and explain what was happening. I knew this was going to be an amazing holiday.

I was allowed to dress PJ in some flannel pajamas before getting him strapped into the car seat. He smiled as we put his hat on him. He was even more content as Emmett picked up the car seat and carried him to the car. Emmett and I sat on either side of PJ's seat as we watched him the entire way home.

By the time we got home, he had fallen asleep. Emmett carried him up to the new nursery, and unstrapped him from his seat. Mom reached down and placed him into the new crib they had bought a couple months ago. Mom refused to have a baby shower, so they didn't have a lot of furniture in the room. We stood around for a while just watching PJ sleep before finally going to bed ourselves.

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The next morning, Emmett and I got ready to go to the basketball tournament. We were getting ready when I heard the doorbell ring. PJ's cries ring through the house shortly after.

I rushed to the door and miraculously didn't trip. Edward was standing on the other side of the door. "Hey!" I was surprised to see him and gave him a quick hug and kiss before pulling him into the house. "What are you doing here?"

"Well… you never came over last night. I was worried, especially since there was a lot of snow and accidents last night. What happened?" His eyes were seriously concerned and possibly a little upset.

As if on cue, Renee came walking towards the front door with PJ in her arms. He was drinking a small bottle and smiling up at my mother. Edward looked up at her as his eyes got bigger. His mouth seemed to form an "O" as mom and PJ got closer.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call. We went to the hospital and the doctor said we could bring him home. We got home and watched him sleep for a while before finally going to sleep ourselves. I completely forgot to call you." I was rambling as I kept talking.

"Bella, it's okay. I'm just glad you are all right. I don't know what I would do if you were hurt in a car accident as well. I don't want anything bad to happen to you." His hands reached up and cupped both of my cheeks.

"I'm fine Edward. You could have called last night if you were really worried. Hey, wait! How did you get here?"

His smile grew quickly as he pointed out the window. The shiny silver Volvo was sitting beside the curb. "I drove. I got my license this morning."

"Wow, congratulations. So, do I get to ride with you to the game?" I looked up at him through my eyelashes in hopes of looking alluring. I'm sure I looked silly, and I could feel my cheeks flood red.

He lowered his mouth to my ear, "I don't know, do you think you've earned a trip in my new car?" His voice was lower than usual, husky even.

"Let me grab my coat. I'll be just a minute." I went to the kitchen and told Emmett I was riding with Edward, so he could just go pick up Rose and Jasper. Then, I returned to where Edward was waiting. He grabbed my coat and held it out for me.

We walked silently to the car, and Edward opened the door for me. Once we were inside, he started up the car and pulled away from my house. We made it to the school quickly and without any conversation.

Once the car was stopped and Edward had stopped the engine. He turned to me then. "Thanks for staying quiet. I still get a little scared when I'm in a car. Like everything will be gone in another blink of an eye."

I leaned across the seat and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Edward, I'd love to tell you that nothing bad will ever happen, but we both know I can't promise you that. What happened with your parents was a tragic event. But you have to move on and live your life. Your parents wouldn't want you living in fear, because then you aren't really living."

He nodded his head solemnly. "Do you still want me? I'm a horrible person and don't deserve you."

I was shocked by the turn in the conversation. He had told me this in the past, but he was entirely backwards. I didn't deserve him. "Of course, Edward. I love you. I want you."

"You wouldn't want me if you knew how horrible I really am." I don't think he meant for me to hear his comment. He had mumbled beneath his breath and put his head down.

"Edward, what aren't you telling me? Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I love you, I always have. I probably always will." I moved as close to him as I could get and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Why don't we sit in the back, there's more room."

He almost smiled at my suggestion to get into the back seat. We vacated out seats quickly and got into the back seat. There I sat in his lap. "Now, tell me what's going on Edward."

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. He told me his story about what he remembered from just before his parents were killed. I knew that he must be in pain and that this was eating him up. But I knew that he never meant those words he had spoken to his father. He had been upset by leaving his home and friends. I might have said the same thing to Mr. Masen had I been stuck with him before the move.

I reassured Edward of my love. I pulled his lips back up to mine and kissed him sweetly. Edward deepened the kiss within seconds, and I could feel his arms holding me tighter as we kissed. I think we both needed this reassurance of the other's devotion. We were pulled out of our make-out session by a sharp knock on the door. Standing outside the car was Coach James, and he didn't look too pleased.

We separated ourselves and followed him into the gym. I helped out setting up the concession stand while Edward and the other team members began to get ready inside the locker room. Once everything was set up, people were beginning to arrive. I took my place behind our team's bench and got the stat sheets out for the other girls. Coach James seemed to be in a better mood as he helped me.

Later that night, after the games were over, I was smiling from ear to ear. Edward was like a changed person. He said it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders by telling me. He played better than I had seen him play in a long time. Jacob had been amazing during the game. The other teams had no defense for him. He just towered over everyone. When they tried to double and triple team him, Jasper, Edward, and Mike were able to hit some three-point baskets. We won both games by over 30 points.

Edward dropped me off that night with the promise of spending the entire day tomorrow together. They were allowed to skip basketball practice because of their domination, so he was planning an amazing day-long date for the two of us. I could barely get to sleep that night. I was so happy, but part of me was wondering if I was allowed to be this happy without something bad happening. I guess only time will tell.

A/N: Well, I hope you all enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what your thoughts are. Thanks for reading everyone! Stay safe this holiday season!