Here's another conversation! I wrote this one after seeing it was John McGinley's birthday last week. Hope you guys enjoy it!
Don't own them.
"Perry…Perry, wake up!"
"What Newbie? This better be an emergency."
"Happy birthday!"
"That's what you're waking me up for?"
"Well, yeah. It's midnight, I just got home, I figured that this would be a good start to your birthday."
"No, a good start would be me sleeping. Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Not yet."
"Why Newbie? Today is the same as any other day of the year."
"No it's not—today you get presents!"
"Which, as I recall, I got a few weeks ago."
"That was a pre-birthday present. To start getting you ready for today."
"Why in the hell would you do that?"
"…do you think if I started a line of pre-birthday cards, they'd sell well?"
"What?"
"Nothing. You want your present?"
"Can it wait twelve, thirteen hours?"
"Nope. Ta-da!"
"What is it?"
"Open it and see!"
"A case of scotch?"
"Yup! Do you like it?"
"Yeah, but why couldn't this wait until later?"
"Because I'm spreading your presents out, making them last longer. Every few hours, I'm going to give you another present!"
"Starting in the morning?"
"Nope, starting now! In a few hours, I'm gonna give you another present!"
"Sleeping pills? Ear plugs? A room with a lock you don't have a key for?"
"No, you have to wait and see! This is gonna be your best birthday ever!"
"I'm sure it will be. Good night."
"Good night, see you in a few hours. Oh, and I made sure your shift was covered today so you don't have to work at all."
"Thanks Newbie. Love you."
"Love you too."