Author's Note: Heeey, look at this, a new conversation! I actually wrote this forever ago, but then misplaced and when I was unpacking all my stuff from college, I found it! Hope you guys like it.

Don't own them. Still.

"Aye! Avast ye!"

"What are you doing Newbie? I walk into our place to see clothes scattered all over the floor and you in the middle, holding a sword pretending to be a pirate."

"I'm trying to decide on what to be for Halloween!"

"Trying to decide? Newbie, how many costumes have you tried on?"

"Well, I originally wanted to be Batman, but then I decided that getting a cape and the mask would be too much work. So I thought about being a vampire, but I didn't want to give away what Dr. Acula looks like before the movie comes out—"

"—Because that's going to be so soon—"

"—And then I thought about a werewolf, but decided that would be too scary, so I think I'm going to be a pirate!"

"Wow…now where are you going to wear this costume? Because they do put an age limit on dressing up. And we're not going to have the kids that night—Jordan wanted to show them what a real witch does on Halloween night. And yes, she's taking Sam too."

"We're all going to a Halloween party!"

"We? Oh no, Newbie, I think you have me confused with someone else—someone like your black wife? No way am I going to a Halloween party!"

"But Perryyyy…"

"No Newbie! And no pouting either, it won't work."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll let you pick out your own costume, instead of the one I picked out."

"Oh good Lord…you already decided on a costume for me?"

"Yup! Turk and I picked out everyone's costumes!"

"Dare I ask what they were?"

"Well, Turk is going to be Frozone—"

"Who?"

"The black guy from The Incredibles. C'mon Perry, we just watched that movie with the kids last week!"

"Oh, of course. Howe could I nawt remember that?"

"Sarcasm not needed there. Anyway, Carla is going to be Anita from West Side Story."

"…You guys know she's not from Puerto Rico right?"

"Yes. But she didn't mind the costume too much…I don't think. And Elliot is going to be a princess. A Barbie princess to be exact. I got the idea from Jennifer's newest doll."

"Don't tell me you bought her another one of those ridiculous toys."

"What? She loves them. Why would I refuse her something she loves?"

"Do I even want to know what you picked out for me?"

"You'll like it."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Originally, Superman. It was to go with my whole superhero theme, but then I changed my costume and Carla's costume, so it doesn't work as well. Plus you have red, curly hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Nothing. It's just not very Superman-like. We'll have to figure out something for you…hmmm…"

"I have an idea. A doctor."

"No—a patient! You could get some fake blood, some stuff from the hospital…oh, even better, a zombie patient!"

"You know I haven't agreed to this party, right?"

"C'mon Perry! It'll be fun, you know it will be!"

"No, Newbie."

"Fine. Then you can sit at home that night all by yourself while everyone else is having fun."

"Is that supposed to motivate me to go? Because if it is, you really have to stop getting me and Gandhi mixed up."

"Please Perry? You know I'm not going to give up until you do."

"I'll just tune you out. Years of practice, after all."

"Fine. You know what? I'm going to call Jordan and see if she wants a night out and you can take the kids trick-or-treating."

"You wouldn't. You know I hate doing that."

"Watch me."

"Newbie…"

"Hello Jordan? Hey, it's JD. Perry isn't planning on going out on Halloween and we were wondering—"

"Fine! You win. I'll go. Give me the phone now."

"Heeey, I was talking!"

"Jordan? Wait…Carla? Newbie, you tricked me!"

"Yeah, but you agreed to go. Carla heard it too!"

"Damnit."

"Time to start figuring out your costume!"