I do believe I may have just become the cliche Queen, but I am sure you guessed this was where it was all heading. Didn't you? only took about 10 more chapters than I thought. Of course it isn't all over yet! Let me know your thoughts, and boy am I trying with the apostrophe thing but grammar is making my head hurt so please insert any missing punctuation as you feel fit!!
Cheers again for sticking with it.
"46 minutes and 27 seconds" Replied Ianto looking at the stop watch as it ticked inexorably, second by second.
Owen scanned the detritus of medical equipment littering any flat surface within his reach and a few that weren't, mentally counting the used vials and syringes, but he knew exactly what he had used and it all added up to nothing. Jack was still pumping away, but even he looked tired and Gwen had changed hands for the third time in as many minutes as the stiff plastic had wearied the muscles in her hands. Tosh, Ianto and finally Gwen looked at Owen, they all knew what torment he was going through. He had always taken losses personally and then gone on a heavy drinking session which each and everyone of them had had to clear up after, but this was the first time after he had been through it himself. What the hell do you say to a dead guy when he can't bring someone back to life?
In a hospital there had to be two doctors to pronounce a death but in Torchwood there was an unspoken rule, everyone had to agree. Owen looked each of them in the eye and then back at the projections on the wall, nothing, nada, zip. He looked back at his patient and at the destruction around him, five rounds of drugs, countless shocks at various voltages all in accordance with specified guidelines and all that had changed was the bruising on the chest wall where he had placed the paddles over and over again.
"Stop a second guys" said Owen wearily, he needed to confirm exactly what he knew. The screens confirmed his failure. As Owen contemplated the lack of options available to him Jack moved forward and started the compressions again automatically.
"Jack" said Owen quietly "It's over I'm calling it."
He looked at the rest of the team and each of them nodded, Gwen and Tosh stepped back and leant against the white tiled wall, Gwen started chewing her thumb as she looked at Jack who hadn't stopped what he was doing. The team all looked at each other, words weren't needed, Ianto clicked the stop watch one final time and then walked quietly round the table till he was stood behind Jack. He gently placed his hands on the top of Jacks arms and held them at his side, his own eyes closed as he rested his head against Jacks broad shoulders. Tosh was in tears as Ianto gently guided Jack back from the table his face blank as he turned and buried his head in to Iantos shoulder, a great shuddering heave wracking his body as the truth finally hit him. None of the team could really explain why this case had hit them so hard, perhaps it was because she was one of their own, perhaps it was because they were trying to make up for Torchwoods past, perhaps it was just another wasted life.
"She was in the SOE during the war, she blew up train lines in France and when they caught her she ended up in a concentration camp because she wouldn't name the locals in the resistance. That's why she was recruited for Torchwood." Said Gwen quietly. "She could have told us so much." Gwen rearranged a small piece of hair on Jennys forehead and wiped away a tear. "Tosh will you give me a hand filling in the blanks in her history, break a few Top Secret files?"
"Go home." Said Owen wearily, "You're all tired it can wait till tomorrow, which is precisely 34 minutes away. Ianto take the girls home and I'll do some tidying here."
There were mumbles of agreement, it shocked Tosh to realise they had been holed up in the hub for the best part of 36 hours now and she felt like her shoes were made of lead as she pulled herself upright.
"I'll help you tomorrow and for as long as it takes." She said squeezing Gwens hand as they moved slowly towards the steps. Neither of them wanted to look back, they would say their final goodbyes tomorrow when Owen had tidied the body up. He could always make people look so peaceful, like they had fallen asleep and for all his other faults in the past he gave a little dignity to any fallen creature before he sent them to the vaults. He stepped forward and disconnected the ambubag and tightened up the clip on the IV line, little things that helped him distance himself, remind him he was still first and foremost a doctor.
"Jack" said Ianto quietly "Jack you're going to have to let me go so I can drive Gwen and Tosh home." Ianto motioned to Owen to leave them alone with his eyes and for once Owen took the hint.
"I'll go and clean myself up" said Owen walking backwards quietly, he couldn't even go and hide somewhere with a cup of coffee any more, in the past he would have kicked something viciously but that wouldn't appease anymore. Perhaps he would go and watch the party people wandering round Mermaid Quay for a few minutes and pretend he was one of them.
"I'll give you a hand with the paperwork when I get back." Said Ianto as Owen held up a hand to show it wasn't necessary and pointed at Jack's back instead. He was right he would have his hands full with Jack but if he left Owen with the paper trail it would just be more work later. Ianto held Jack until Owen had disappeared and then gently pushed him away till he could see his face.
"We did all we could Jack, it wasn't meant to be."
Jack sniffed loudly and took a visible gulp to compose himself.
"I'll stay here, someone should sit with her."
Ianto nodded, he'd seen it with Suzie, Beth and John and doubtless Jack had sat with hundreds of Torchwood employees in the hours before he had watched them disappear into the vast vaults of frozen bodies. Ianto wondered if it was some sort of personal penance for never being able to join them. He pulled over the high wheeled stool and sat Jack down like a mother with her child and gave him one last kiss on the temple before walking away, leaving Jack holding her hand and gently restoring the gown to its rightful place covering the bruises.
Ianto paced pensively through the high room that was the centre of the Hub, perhaps he should rig the lighting system to reflect the changes in light outside he thought irrationally. He grabbed the keys to the SUV and picked up his coat because he thought it might be cold at that time of night, even though it seemed like mid afternoon, it always seemed like mid afternoon in the Hub. He checked to see if Tosh and Gwen had taken their bag's a sure sign they were waiting outside for him and went to get the SUV from the garage where he had abandoned it in haste all those hours ago. He suddenly had the image of Gwens car as he had run past it, there was blood all over the back seat that he would have to clean off before she could drive it home, he hoped Rhys wouldn't notice the fact she was being picked up for a few days. He pulled his collar up and pulled his neck downwards like a tortoise retreating into it's shell slowly moving the keys between his fingers till he sensed the ignition key and held it in front of him. He smacked the electronic door latch with a little too much gusto and savoured the damp feel of the night air, in the distance he could hear one of the girls consoling the other one, or perhaps they were both crying. He was about to step out, clicking the electronic central locking so the others could climb in out of the cold when he heard the shout.
Jack held Jennys cooling fingers against his lips, his eyes closed as he tried to picture that night back in 1954. A face so bloodied and bruised he hadn't recognised it as his first crush since crashing back to earth from the Game Station. Sure there had been flings, despite the prim and proper Victorian attitudes, but Nurse Smith, wow, had she hit the spot. He had always believed in lust at first sight, Ianto being the last in a long line but lust occasionally became the right thing, she was the only time he could truly say he had experienced love at first sight. Everyone just assumed Jack was in it for the sex and while he had to admit he did enjoy the odd meaningless night, deep down he wanted the same as everyone else, someone to come home to, someone to ask "How was your day dear" someone to whom words weren't necessary. Perhaps 90 years ago that could have happened but now he was brutalised to everything the world had thrown at him, he had watched his first and only wife die of an infection that would have taken nothing more than a few pills to solve now and had left the only other woman that he would have stayed with believing he had died and left his son visit her. Now she was dead too. Death by Torchwood. Just when would life stop taunting him with the death of those he felt for this had to happen.
Jack started repeating the words "I'm sorry, so sorry" like a mantra as he stood to start arranging the body in a more comfortable position, the only thing left he could do. If only he had stood up to the hierarchy all those years ago instead of running away to hide from himself. Now the flood gates had opened he would have to look through all those files hidden in the dust locked vaults, purge the demons hidden behind dark curtains in his mind. He would have to get Gwen to help him see the humanity, the thing that Torchwood had lacked all those years ago, and Ianto, he owed Ianto a big explanation. Ianto who would sit patiently and listen to all the horrors and make it seem alright, funny but that was what Lucy, Jenny, Freda, whoever this person, thing, alien was had done, two nights in the canteen she had listened and made it alright. He had described all the killing, all the young boys he had seen go over the top and had watched being blown apart within yards and how he had never got a scratch till then. Looking back he wondered if she had put two and two together then or if her natural empathy had won his heart. Jack shuddered as he pulled the gown straight over her hips, the bloody mark where the helixical symbol of 'the firm' had been branded into her skin had reopened after all these years. At some point during the last day and night Ianto had read out the page where it described the "Perplexities of permanent marking of the Torchwood property designated Alien species 2974-33, planet of origin unknown", it turned out "Heat, cold and most known chemicals were insufficient to leave a mark lasting more than a few days, concentrated hydrochloric acid being the most likely to leave a mark lasting into weeks rather than days." Unsurprisingly that report had caused Gwen to throw up. He would never know her really name now either.
Without leaving go of Jennys hand Jack reached out to pick up some gauze so he could clean away a little of the dried blood left on her face and through her damp matted hair. Leaning over a little too far the wheel on the stool suddenly moved, jolting Jack so he was forced to extend his leg to stop him falling flat on his backside, to compensate he raised the arm holding her hand opening his grip slightly. He turned back quickly expecting the arm to drop causing more indignity to her already battered body but the hand stayed in his, he could have sworn that the fingers had gripped more tightly but sense told him it was the beginning of rigor mortis. Gently he laid the arm back by her side and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand tracing one deep laceration scoring the skin by her right eye.
"Whatever did they do to you?" murmured Jack squeezing a little of the excess water on the swab onto the floor. He dabbed the cold wet gauze at the offending wound and then turned round to washout the blood.
Owen was at the far end of the upper floor of the Hub, just past the Board room where the shower room that looked like a five star hotel was situated. How Ianto had managed to get the marble down into the Hub was nearly as miraculous as getting the bill hidden in the expenses file, the one decent legacy of the Rift nearly destroying the whole base. Owen washed his hands for the fourth time, scrubbing with medical efficiency between the fingers and under his nails but he could still feel the sticky blood. The water was warm, inviting and Owen was considering sticking his head under the tap and letting the water wash through his hair, but looking round there was only the one towel left that he hadn't soaked through washing and drying his hands so he would have to stick at throwing water on his face till he went and messed up the cupboard for a larger one. He threw the first cupped handful of water on closed eyelids when he heard the sound, he could have sworn it was Jack bellowing his name. Nah Jack only had two reasons for bellowing his name, one: Owen was about to destroy the world, again, and the second was a medical emergency and there were only the two people least likely to ever need a doctor again left within the Hub. And a dead body.
Owen dried his face quickly and stepped out into the passage, starting to hear things would really top off his day, when his name reverberated loudly round the whole of the Hub, Jack had obviously activated the comms then. Owen started sprinting down the corridor back towards the main area wondering if this did mean that the Rift had waited conveniently till they were all knackered to play up again. Slightly confused when he didn't see Jack immediately standing at the computer Owen skidded to a halt and turned towards the ever increasingly desperate sound of Jacks shouts, back in the autopsy bay, did the man never give up? Regaining his momentum he charged straight through the opening but was brought up short by the sight in front of him.
Jack had turned back round to continue cleaning Jenny's wounds, his head spinning with all the missed opportunities and the experiences he wished hadn't happened however much they made him stronger. As he placed the damp swab to her forehead her eyes flicked open, like those on a googly doll, Jack stared right back dropping the swab in what most humans would describe as terror, but Jack had no fears anymore. In the split second it took his brain to process this new turn of events the realisation of what assaults her body had gone through also reached Jenny's consciousness and she jack-knifed as tried in vain to breath normally with a tube in the throat. That was when Jack started hollering fit to wake most of Cardiff.
With what he hoped was a steadying hand on her shoulder Jack shouted for Owen, and then turned back to look into a pair of petrified eyes and a face going red as she fought without success to take a breath. Jack knew that feeling, he had woken up more than once in an A&E department post shooting/car crash/falling from a tall building with the same problem. The tube stopped a vacuum forming to allow your lungs to draw in air and while forensics were brilliant when you had a whiskey in your hand the here and now was a little different. The other thing Jack could remember all to vividly from these moments was that pulling on that tube got you what you wanted but could also be as painful and not a little dangerous especially when it caused him to puke his guts up, every single time. He shouted again even he could hear the note of desperation which wasn't helping calm the situation as he looked back at her and grabbed her arms to try and stop her struggling, which to be honest wasn't difficult as even in the last few seconds the adrenalin was wearing off and her muscles were getting more limp by the second. Still her hands scrabbled at the tape across her face holding the tube in place and without the benefit of Owens considerable expertise, damn but that one was a hard one to admit, Jack had to take a split second decision.
"Breath out" he ordered, though it could have asked her to do a double summersault for the good that did as he tried to time his actions with hers. He took a good grip on the plastic and pulled.
Owen crashed down in to the autopsy bay as Jack heaved Jenny onto her side and was greeted with a hail of projectile vomit followed by pained screams as the broken ribs grated against each other and the soft tissue that surrounded them.
"Where the hell did you learn that move?" asked Owen nearly falling in the slick of vomit. Gently he helped Jack move her onto her back again but instinctively she tried to curl into the foetal position and Owen didn't stop her.
"She was dead, I swear." Said Owen looking at the very alive vital signs jumping around on the wall. "Harkness what did you do this time?" he said in an accusatory tone.
Jack moved only his eyes, his hands stroking her temple and the upper arm.
"Nothing I swear, I did learn my lesson last time" he said with a slight note of hysteria.
Owen gave him one of his patented eyebrow lifts and shoved him unceremonially out of the way to check that this wasn't some sick last minute alien death rattle. Ianto, who had picked up the screams following the shouting and expected some sort of time/space invasion, ran into the area and stopped.
"Not again" he muttered tapping his comm unit and speaking to Gwen "Slight change of plan ladies perhaps you would like to come back inside." There was a moment or two while she told Tosh and then came back.
"Do we really have to Ianto we just want to go home." She said quietly
"Trust me you want to be back inside." Said Ianto simply.