Chapter 2: Tip Your Hooker-- Head Automatica
Rant Space: yeah so, I'm back, and I actually listen to several songs in succession but this is the one I was listening to in the start of the chapter… I just wanted each chapter to sort of have a theme. Either way, good song, you'll like it. Eh, unless you don't of course.
Kasanoda walked into the host club with a sort of slump. He walked in then turned towards Kyouya's table and there was a collective gasp from the fan girls that had followed him in.
"what's he--"
"No! Kasanoda-kun!"
"I knew he'd get over Haru-chama soon enough!"
"NOO!!! Kyouya-kuuuun!!!!"
Kasanoda filtered it out and stepped up to Kyouya's loveseat, scratching the back of his head.
"okay, I'm here." he muttered, averting his gaze from Kyouya.
"why don't you take a seat Ritsu-chan." Kyouya offered with a smile Kasanoda knew was fake.
"he called him Ritsu!!!"
"chan? Kasanoda-kun's a chan now?"
"maybe Kyouya-sama finds him cute!"
Kasanoda's eyebrow twitched as he sunk to sit beside Kyouya. Kyouya poured his tea and Kasanoda's knee bounced for a second until he winced.
"how's your knee?" Kyouya asked and Kasanoda glared.
"hurt." he declared
"ankle?" Kyouya asked and handed him his tea.
"sprained." he glared and Kyouya tsked a little, sipping at his own tea.
"hmm, nice band-aid." Kyouya said with a sly smirk. Kasanoda went red and touched the large Power Rangers bandage stuck across his face from under his eye down his cheek.
"it was all the Doc had this morning…" he muttered and Kyouya reached over, poking his cheek and subsequently his wound.
"I said I like it. It's funny." Kyouya smirked and Kasanoda yanked his head back.
"whatever." he stated and took a gulp of his tea. He stopped for a second then nearly choked. He forced it down and set the cup to the side.
That was the absolute worst cup of tea he'd ever tasted in his life.
"I should be going now then." Kasanoda coughed a little, the taste still stuck in his throat.
"now, we still have 15 minutes Ritsu-chan." Kyouya glanced down at his watch then up with sly eyes. Kasanoda glared. He had something in mind, he wasn't sure what but this was leading down some strange Kyouya-mindfuck road and Kasanoda wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to follow it or not.
"fine then Zombie-kun." he answered with a smile.
Ah, humor, the best defense mechanizm in the universe.
The girls that were eavesdropping giggled and Kyouya scowled and went red.
"don't call me that." he ordered but Kasanoda ignored it.
"why not Zombie-kun, I thought we were close, aren't I allowed to give you a nickname?" Kasanoda asked with a sly smile. (by the way, that was something of a cultural reference, yakuza actually give all their underlings nicknames, for bragging rights I think. That's also why Yachiru from Bleach makes up nicknames for everyone. And now back to regular scheduled programming.)
Kyouya gave him a sharp look then smiled.
"of course, do I get to give you one Ritsu-chan?" he asked and cocked his head to the side. Kasanoda forced his smile to stay.
"of course." he declared and Kyouya gripped his arm, pulling him closer.
"how about Neko-chan?" he purred and Kasanoda's face blanched at the horrifying cross-dressing nightmare that word brought up.
"eh…" he muttered and Kyouya lifted his chin a little, to look closer at him. The girls were squeaking in fan girl delight but Kasanoda could sense the predator in that gaze.
"yeah, Neko-chan's just so cute and befitting. Or perhaps Tsumere-kun, you are feisty." he chuckled and released him, shrugging to whining from the crowd. "then again, Riri-chan's fine for me."
"pick something else." Kasanoda ordered and Kyouya's eyes glinted dangerously.
"you pick something else for mine then. Neko-chan." Kyouya jabbed and Kasanoda shuddered.
"whatever." he stated and glanced away over towards Haruhi who was sitting and peeking over the back of the couch with the girl she was supposed to be wooing out of her money. Kasanoda went limp and kneaded at his eyes.
"this is stupid. What do you want Ootori-kun?" he sighed and Kyouya frowned.
"you, Neko-chan." he answered and Kasanoda narrowed his eyes at him while attempting to drown out the fan girl screams in the background.
Some days, this place was just too loud.
Kasanoda, with his budding headache, stood and went to move past Kyouya but the man grabbed him and tackled him, putting his mouth so close to his ear that Kasanoda could feel his breath. And his chest. And his hips straddling him.
"listen Kasanoda, I think that with the right work, we can make this happen." Kyouya whispered and Kasanoda wiggled in an attempt to get free.
"make what happen?!" he objected to the giggles of millions…
"a legitimate business exchange. Both of us are going to be in positions of power when we grow up, with or without my father's consent. I believe a partnership could be feasible." Kyouya whispered, softer than before as if hinting he should do the same.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Kasanoda answered as Kyouya's hand wound itself in his hair, tugging gently and dear god, he did not need this!!! Lord, he was already gay, he damn sure didn't need to be gay towards Kyouya.
"I'm talking about hired muscle, a back at mine." Kyouya answered, mouth moving down to his neck a little, as if the shadow king just didn't feel like exerting the effort to hold his neck up.
"you're thinking a little far ahead aren't you?" Kasanoda asked in a low voice and looked straight up to see Kaoru and Hikaru, arms crossed, shoulders leaned against each other, and blinked up at them. "can I help you?"
Kasanoda wanted to hit himself. Or run into a brick wall, or something…
"Okaa-san, you're stealing our act." Hikaru declared, Kaoru nodded and sniffled.
"how could you be so cruel Kaa-san? I thought you loved us!" he declared.
"there there Kaoru…" Hikaru soothed and Kaoru cast those twincest eyes at each other and Kasanoda shivered.
This was getting very bad for his physical state.
"Kyouya?" Kasanoda hissed.
"hm?" Kyouya replied, lifting off him just a bit.
"get off me." Kasanoda stated and Kyouya sat up, wiping at an eye.
"sorry, I was taking a nap." he smirked and Kasanoda glared.
Snide little bitch…
"I'm leaving…" Kasanoda all but pushed Kyouya off him and stood, glancing at the lovestruck girls around him then glancing back towards Kyouya. "don't fall for it, he's evil."
Kyouya chuckled and stood, leaning in again.
"consider my offer Neko-chan." Kyouya said with a small smirk that Kasanoda hated.
"whatever Zombie-kun." Kasanoda shot back and stomped from the club wondering why he'd trusted Kyouya to begin with.
--
Kasanoda did consider it, for several hours, locked in his room.
Alone.
With his hand.
He then emerged from his room looking like a haggard and possessed young man, staggered through the house past his worried looking yakuza brethren and opened the fridge to get a beer.
"Kasanoda-san, are you okay?" one of them asked and he grumbled.
"I'm irritated Moki. Very irritated." he declared and glared at his beer wishing it would freeze or explode.
"should I kill someone?" Moki asked and Kasanoda chuckled.
"maybe tomorrow." he replied and Moki smiled. If Kasanoda could still laugh then he was okay. Kasanoda slumped down into a stool at the table and sighed at his beer.
"kinda young aren't you?" Tetsuya asked with a smile, sitting beside him. Kasanoda smiled at his friend.
"what do you think of Zom-- er, Kyouya-san?" Kasanoda asked and Tetsuya frowned.
"zom?" he asked and Kasanoda rolled his eyes.
"why does everyone do that?" he asked and Tetsuya shrugged.
"well, zom is an interesting start of a name I suppose…" he answered and Kasanoda grinned.
"Zombie-kun." he declared and Tetsuya chuckled.
"it seems to fit him." he nodded in agreement.
"yep." Kasanoda nodded then glanced at him. "but what do you think of him?"
"honestly not much, but if you like him, go ahead." Tetsuya answered and Kasanoda turned on him.
"I don't like him! I hate him! He's a royal jerk!" he declared then went limp and gulped down half his beer.
"hmm? Well, maybe you like him a little. I was sure you were a megane-ko…" Tetsuya smiled and Kasanoda frowned.
"hey!" Kasanoda whined a little.
"okay, fine… so you don't like him." Tetsuya sighed. Kasanoda shifted a little and glanced over at his friend.
"I dunno, it's stupid. He's an asshole but…" he muttered and Tetsuya frowned.
"so you do like him?" he asked and Kasanoda pinched the bridge of his nose.
"well, it's… I hate him and I like him. Sorta." he answered and Tetsuya chuckled.
"Ritsu, you're going in circles." he smiled and Kasanoda threw his arms in the air.
"I know!" he declared. "but I just spent the last 2 hours thinking about him and what happened today and I don't know why!""hmm, you do like him. But just sometimes." Tetsuya nodded and Kasanoda smiled over at him.
"you're adorable you know that?" he smiled and Tetsuya patted his head."yeah Ritsu, I know." he sighed. "now gimme the beer, I'm gonna need it. It feels like one of those nights."
--
Kyouya sorted the books and put them away on the bookshelf in the closet when he turned and was faced down with two devils in human clothes blocking his path from the closet. Hikaru nodded to Kaoru and they stepped in, closing the door behind them.
"okay Sempai, spill." Hikaru ordered and Kyouya lifted an eyebrow.
"what are you two talking about?" he asked and Hikaru handed Kaoru a picture. Kyouya immediately knew this was bad.
"attempted rape." Kaoru waved the picture and Kyouya pushed his glasses up his face.
"I'm listening." he answered, crossing his arms.
"you like him." Hikaru stated, going to one side of the shadow king who kept up his composure.
"no." he answered.
"he likes you." Kaoru purred into the opposite ear as his brother.
"no." Kyouya repeated.
"then what?" the words were in stereo and Kyouya was starting to think this was about how Faustus felt being tempted by Mephistopheles.
"mutual hate." he answered them and Hikaru scoffed.
"most people call that love you know." Kaoru smiled.
"no." Kyouya smirked.
"you've been watching him." Hikaru stated and Kaoru smiled."a momentary interest." Kyouya answered and looked at them. "you'd know all about that wouldn't you?"
"it's been effecting your performance." Kaoru piped up and Kyouya sighed because he knew it was true.
"I'll consider that." he answered. Hikaru grew and evil smile and Kyouya felt something like dread in him. He dismissed it quickly, but he did feel it.
"you wanted to kiss him." Hikaru declared and Kyouya swallowed.
"no." he stated and they both grinned.
"you're lying." they answered in unison, shrugging a little.
"I bet you might've even wanted it to go a little farther than kissing." Kaoru added on his own and Hikaru chuckled.
"I'm going home." Kyouya glared and grabbed the last ledger that he'd been planning to work on before leaving.
"think about it Kyouya-san." Hikaru smiled and handed him the picture.
"we think you have a good chance." Kaoru smiled and handed Kyouya his bag.
"who knows what his speedy retreat was hiding, ne?" Hikaru declared with a positively evil grin and Kaoru chuckled.
"oh Hikaru, you're so naughty." he smiled at his brother and Kyouya turned from them.
"you're both horribly incestuous and Haruhi will never love you." he stated vehemently.
And with that biting comment (which only received a triumphant giggle from the twins), he stomped from the 3rd music room and towards the front of the school where a private car waited for him.
End of chapter 2. I kinda think that the twins seemed more supportive than mocking. Like they're a little glad that they know Kyouya's not a Cylon and actually has very real human drives.
And yeah, that was almost a Battlestar Galactica refference… Oh and a megane-ko is a glasses fetishist...