:DDD i leave tomarrow morning. i'll try and add more tonight? i'll be up :D

and when i do have time on vacation i'll write. it'll take longer but i'll try and post. don't give up on this story. it may be a while (till the 12th if i can't update) but i'll post as soon as i get back if i can't down in FL :D

thanks for all the great reviews! (squeezes all of you)

sorry this was short, end of the episode. please review!

Chapter 6: Everybody Loves a Clown Part 3

We headed back to the carnival that night to look around for Cooper. For some reason Sam thought that sneaking into Cooper's trailer to look for bed bugs was a one man job and I had no choice but to go with Dean. I mean, it shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did because I would have picked to go with Dean if the situation hadn't been different. I used to go with Dean all the time.

"Come on, if you're coming with me keep up." Dean barked, not even turning around to tell me that. He just kept walking and I turned back to look at the direction Sam had gone in.

I rolled my eyes. "How would you even know where I am? You won't turn around and look. I could be right on your damn back and you'd never know." I snapped right back.

He wasn't hurting me with this childish game he wanted to play. If he wanted to be mean and snap, crackle and pop bring it on. We approached Barry's tent, the blind guy, and Dean had this idea that he had some sort of knife collection. Whatever got the job done I suppose.

"Are you sure he has the knife we're looking for?" I asked.

"No, but that's why we're asking." Dean's tone turned into a sneer at the end of his sentence and I was really just ready to walk away and wait for Sam.

"You gonna knock or are we gonna wait here all night?"

"You wanna try and knock on a tent door?" He asked, entertained. It was the closest he'd been to the real Dean in days.

I stepped past him and poked my head inside. "Mr. Barry?"

He was standing just inside the tent and Dean came inside once he heard me ask for him. "Hey Barry, we were wondering if you had some sort of brass knife?"

Boy, were we ever the freaks. I'm sure we could fit into a carnival quite nicely. Dean could be on attraction alone for his amazing mood changes.

"Well, I got all kinds of knives. I don't know if I got a brass one, though. Check the trunk." He answered, gesturing to a large trunk on the floor.

I opened the trunk, since Dean was standing with his hands in his pockets, and looked inside. I didn't find any knives but what I did find stunned the hell outta me. A clown costume with a wig as well.

I turned to look at Dean wide eyed, which didn't do any good because the bastard was pretending I was invisible. So I looked at Barry.

"You?" I asked him. Dean would have to catch on with that.

Barry smiled and took off his glasses, his smile turning into the creepiest joker smile I'd ever seen. "Me."

He disappeared and it was like a light bulb suddenly went off in Dean's head as he saw that and he swore. I rolled my eyes; fucking typical. I ran towards the door but it wouldn't budge and out of nowhere a throwing knife hit the door, barely missing Dean's head. He finally barreled at the door and it opened.

"You might have wanted to warn me about him being the Rakshasa before he tried to mutilate my head." Dean bit out, not looking back to see if I was even following him or if I had gotten out okay.

I ran right after him. "I wish it would have hit you in your freakin head, might have knocked some sense into you." I growled as we ran back to where we were and met up with Sam.

"Hey!" Sam called out making Dean stop in his tracks.

Shit. I pit stopped but still ran straight into Dean. It knocked me off balance and I would have fell straight on the ground but Dean zipped around and grabbed my arm, keeping me from falling. He let go of my arm as soon as I was balanced and it took me 23.3456 seconds to realize that little action had had be breathless. He turned away from me as soon as I started breathing again, not that I'm sure he knew that I had stopped. I chalked his little action up to instinct and I didn't know if that made me feel better or worse.

"So, Cooper thinks I'm a peeping Tom, but it's not him." Sam said.

"Yeah, so I gathered. It's the blind guy. He's here somewhere." Dean said, looking around warily.

"We didn't get the brass blade, it's just been one of those days." I said with a flip of my hand.

Sam looked at me for a moment. "I got an idea. Come on."

He ran towards the fun house and I swore as I ran into that creepy ass clown's mouth again. I tried staying as close to Dean and Sam as I possibly could but wouldn't you know it that since I let them go in front of me a set of elevator doors cuts me off from them.

I pounded on the door. "Guys?"

"Andy!" I heard Sam yell. "Andy, you have to find the maze, okay?"

I groaned and turned around, trying to find a different way through the maze.

"Stupid creepy music, stupid clown, stupid Dean…" I found myself muttering as I headed back through the way we came and around. I finally found the organs and saw Sam and Dean working around one. Brass. Of course. Smart cookie goes to Sam today.

"Hey." I said, grabbing their attention. Well Sam's anyway, but I was use to this by now.

"Hey. Where is it?" Sam asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, shouldn't we see his clothes walkin' around?"

Suddenly another pair of throwing knives came out of nowhere and pinned my shirt to the wall.

"Sam!" I squealed as he finally got the organ loose and pulled it off. I managed to dodge another airborne knife.

"Where is it?" Sam asked.

I rolled my eyes, trying to pry myself from the wall. "How the hell would I know? I'm trying not to end up butchered."

"Yeah, how does that feel?" Dean asked sarcastically and I rolled my eyes again, wanting to throw one of these knives at him.

I saw him walk towards me and get incredibly close. He reached up for something above my head. It was a lever and it controlled the steam. Eh maybe there could be two smart cookies today, even though Dean didn't really deserve one. Steam began hissing from the air vents and I spotted a vague outline of something behind Sam.

"Sam! Behind you!" I yelled and Sam didn't even turn around. He hauled the brass pipe back and it connected with something solid, sending the thing screeching.

Once it collapsed on the floor in just a pile of gunk and clothes they both came towards me and pulled the knives out of my shirt and I pried myself off the wall.

"That was my favorite shirt." I moaned and Sam rolled his eyes, smiling slightly.

Dean shook his head. "I hate funhouses."

O0o0o0o0o0o

Wasn't surpised that we ended up back at the Roadhouse the next day. We were all seated at the bar and Ellen came and gave us all drinks.

"Thank God." I said taking the beer gratefully.

"You guys did a hell of a job. Your dad would be proud." She said, looking pointedly at Dean.

"Thanks." Sam said and then turned to me. "Haven't we learned what happens when we give beer to you."

I shrugged and took a sip. "Cut me off after one."

He shook his head slowly and smiled, taking a sip of his own. Ellen continued to clean up the bar and Jo came over and leaned between Sam and Dean. Sam smiled at her and Jo gave him a pointed look. I just scoffed and shook my head as Sam let out a shallow breath between his lips.

"I guess I'll be heading over there…" He looked at the pool tables. "Right now."

I shook my head as he got up to do so; wuss. I however was not moving. I don't care if she gave me the bitchest pointed look she could muster. I brought my beer up to my lips again and let the liquid slosh over my tongue; damn it felt good.

She cleared her throat and I looked at her. "You need something?" I asked, clearly not amused or threatened.

"Excuse me?" She asked, trying to infer she wanted a little privacy with Dean.

I rolled my head to the side. "You're excused sweetheart, but I'm still not moving."

She sighed hotly and looked at Dean. Like he was going to do a damn thing about. Which he didn't, that was the only time I was ever happy with the way he was lately.

"Am I gonna see you again?" She asked quietly. I wasn't deaf for Christ's sake. Although the longer I had to listen to this bullshit I'd pull my damn ears off.

"Do you want to?" Came Dean's reply. That hurt and I was wondering if he was pissed I had to sit there and babysit him.

I could hear Jo's hussy smile. "I wouldn't hate it."

"Look, you're a real nice girl and everything." She let out a breath at Dean's observation. What? Did she not like to be called a girl or something? "But, uh...these days…I don't know."

"Wrong place, wrong time?" I quirked and Dean scowled at his beer bottle.

Jo smiled and nodded as she looked at me. I knew she saw there was something there or at least there had been something between us before all of this. "It's okay, I get it."

I was surprised she backed off when she did. But whatever, at least I didn't have to slam her face into the bar or anything. Not that I'd actually get away with that but it'd be nice to wipe that smirk off her face every time she looked at Dean's ass.

Ash entered the room with his laptop an I turned around as he approached the bar.

"Hey Ash." I said.

He smiled at me, looking at my breasts and ass all at once. Wow, not obvious at all.

"Well where have you been all my life?" He asked giving me a grin and I chuckled.

"You got somethin' for us, Ash?" Dean asked, obviously bothered by the fact that he was hitting on me.

I rolled my eyes, cry me a river. Like it was okay when he was hitting on Jo but the second someone hit on me the shit hit the fan.

"Did you find the demon?" Sam asked, coming back over to the bar and smiled at me when he sat down.

Ash shrugged, opening his laptop. "It's nowhere around, at least nowhere I can find. But if this fugly bastard raises its head. Any of those signs or omens appear anywhere in the world, my rig will go off like a fire alarm."

"Huh." I said impressed looking at the different trackers that were blinking and moving around on his desktop. "Ash, where did you learn to do all this?"

"If I tell you can I have your number."

I smiled a but embarrassed and looked at my beer. "I don't think I need to know that badly."

Sam nudged me and raised his eyebrows amused. I shoved his shoulder and he grinned.

"M.I.T., before I got bounced…for fighting." Ash informed us.

"You wanna play a few rounds of pool?" Sam asked me and I nodded, getting my beer and hopping off the bar stool.

"Okay. Give us a call as soon as you know somethin'?" Dean asked Ash and Ash nodded, closing his laptop. "Come on Sam. Andy."

I looked back at Dean and then at Sam. "We were gonna play a few games." I motioned to the pool tables.

"No, we're going. Come on."

"Come on Dean, its just a half hour at least." Sam said, trying to stop the yelling before it started.

"You're either coming with me or walking back. I don't care which." He informed us, heading out the door.

I sighed, exchanging a glance with Sam. He put an arm around my shoulder as I took one more sip of beer. "Come on." He said gently and we headed out the door to go back to Bobby's with Dean.

O0o0o0o0o

As soon as we got back to Bobby's Dean started working under that damn car again. I made lunch for me and Sam and we sat there in the kitchen and ate in total silence, listening to the random car tools do their jobs.

"How long do you think he's going to keep this up?" Sam asked me.

I shrugged. "Until he breaks." I said honestly, not looking up to see his expression. Hell, I could feel it from across the table.

"He was right ya know?"

"About what?" I asked him as he followed me outside so I could give Dean the sandwich I made. "Do you want this? Or are you just going to leave it out here and never touch it like you usually do?"

It was a perfectly good ham and cheese sandwich and if he wasn't going to eat it I'd put it in the fridge for Bobby. It was as simple as that.

Dean twisted the tire iron in his hands and looked at Sam. "Just put it on the damn table."

I rolled my eyes and did so and Sam looked at Dean seriously. "You were right." He said quietly.

"About what?" Dean wondered not even bothering to look up at him now.

"About me and Dad." Sam said quietly. "I'm sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know, he died thinkin' that I hate him. So, you're right."

Dean looked up at him and I saw something different. He was shaking and he was gripping the tire iron so tightly in his hands his knuckles were turning white.

"What I'm doin' right now -- it is too little. It's too late." Sam paused, on the verge of tears again and I stroked his arm gently. "And I'm not all right. Not at all. But neither are you. That much I know. I'll let you get back to work."

Sam smiled wetly at me and headed back inside. I was about to follow him when I looked back at Dean. You could literally see the crack that was forming on his features and for a moment I thought he was going to break right then and there. But he just stood there, looking at his beat up Impala. But suddenly he exploded. It was the most heart wrenching thing I think I'd ever see. He was swinging the tire iron with such force, over and over again, breaking the windows and putting dents in the car. I had to stop him before he hurt himself.

"Dean! Dean stop! Dean!" I tried to get as close as I could to him, without getting hit myself. But he was so caught up in making each blow more forceful than the last I'm sure he didn't even hear me. "Dean, please stop." I begged him, tears coming to my eyes at the sight. This was the breaking I had known was going to happen but it was even more painful for me to watch.

I finally reached foreword and grabbed his arm, stopping him from going into a whole nother blow. He hesitated, feeling my hands on him, his expression was stone cold. He was breathing heavily and for a minute I thought he was going to throw me off of him and stalk away. But he didn't. He did something I thought he'd never do again. He looked at me, straight in my eyes and crumbled to the ground, pulling me with him.

His heavy breaths turned into wracking sobs that made his chest heave. "Andy, please." I heard his beg me as he tried clawing at my arms. He was gripping them, like he'd fall through the ground if he didn't hang on. "Please."

I pulled him into my arms holding him tightly as I felt his arms wrap around my back. He buried his face in my shoulder and let the sobs take him. I tried comforting him, but honestly I was so surpised I found myself not knowing what to do. Eventually it all fell back into place and I did things like I used to do. I stroked his hair and the back of his neck while squeezing him tightly. I placed kisses everywhere, anywhere I could find and get my lips to.

I let him decide when to pull away and eventually he did so as his sobs died down. He looked embarrassed and tried to avoid me by looking at everything else. I was so sick of that but I didn't get angry. I just sighed and brought my hand up to wipe the tear tracks off his face.

"You tired?" I asked him gently. He looked at me. Twice, thank God. Maybe he was getting better. He nodded and sniffled. I helped him stand up off the ground and put an arm around his waist. "Come on, I'll put you to bed okay?"

He let me lead him upstairs and I closed our bedroom door, Sam looking at me warily as I did so. I set him on the bed and got a cold cloth from the bathroom. He was a mess of sniffles and tears and even though I had been so angry and upset with him this past week my heart just melted. I pulled back the covers as he crawled in them and I pulled them back up to his neck.

I gently stroked his face with the cold cloth and set it along his neck as I laid down next to him. I propped my head up on my elbow as I watched him tried to go to sleep.

He looked at me and tried smiling. "I'm sorry about your shirt." He said quietly and motioned to the wet stain his tears had caused on my shoulder.

I smiled. "It's okay, you wanna blow your nose in it too?"

He chuckled but it was soft and pained. "I'm sorry, for everything." His eyes were filling with tears for a different reason now and I shuffled closer to him and pulled him into my chest as I laid my head on the pillow.

"Shhh." I tried, rubbing a hand over his back and I felt the small tears against my chest. "Don't worry about it now okay? I want you to sleep."

He nodded against me and I felt a small kiss being placed against my collar bone. I smiled and kissed his head as his breathing began to even out and he let sleep take him. I laid there for a few minutes until I was sure he was asleep and pulled myself away. His face was calm but you could see the turmoil easily turning itself in his head.

I made my way towards the door and opened and closed it quietly. I turned to head downstairs and nearly ran into Sam.

"What have I told you about sneaking up on me?"

Sam smiled slightly. "That I should do it more often because you jump like a mile high?" I rolled my eyes, walking past him and down stairs. "How is he?" He asked quietly.

I sat on the last stair and shook my head. "I don't know."

He sat next to me and looked at me thoughtfully. "And…how are you?"

I turned my head and smiled at him, even though I felt like crying. "I don't know." I said softer this time.

He nodded and got up. "Looks like its time to break out the beer."

I giggled and pulled him to sit back down. "No, if I start, I won't stop. And we don't need me crazily dancing on table tops and then vomiting everywhere."

He smiled and adjusted himself on the step. He started rubbing my back, trying to get the knots out. "So are you going to get back together with him?" He asked.

I stretched my back, causing it to crack and let him continue to massage it. I closed my eyes and placed my head in my hands. "I don't know. It's just, all of this wasn't his fault. His dad was important him. He shouldn't have pushed me away but I should have known he'd do that. It's just who he is and how he copes with things."

He nodded and silently continued to work the knots out. "Well at least he's better now right?"

I shrugged. "He's getting there." I smiled and he stopped with my back. "Thanks Sam."

He smiled to and gave me a small kiss on the forehead. "Glad I could help."

"I better get back to him before he wakes up." I got up and adjusted my shirt and turned to head back up the stairs to Dean.

"Hey Andy." Sam said making me turn around.

I sighed. "Yeah?"

Sam looked at me a moment and his face faltered as he looked at the ground making my face screw up with confusion. Was he okay? I was about to head back down and ask him if anything was wrong but he looked back up at me and a smile was on his lips again.

"He's lucky you know, to have you." I blushed and I felt butterflies hit against the walls of my stomach. "Make sure he knows that."

o0o0o0o0o

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