Part three
Summary: It's only a matter of time…

****

Chapter 1- Stay
Summary: "I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but okay."

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"Who's coming?" Mal asked softly.

She buried her face in his shoulder. "I want to go to my room."

"Okay. Let's go then."

He slowly stood up. She clung to him tighter as if they separated she'd be swept away. He felt her tense, so he lifted her into his arms and carried her to her room with Simon and the others following closely behind them.

He put her down on her bed. She looked at everyone with wide eyes.

"Crowded. Voices everywhere invading my brain…" she mumbled. "Simon?"

Simon sat beside her and took her hand. "I'm here."

"Too many voices."

"We'll go," Mal nodded. She grabbed his hand.

"Stay."

Mal looked at Zoe. She nodded and made everyone else leave. She shut the door leaving Mal and Simon with River.

River frantically grabbed a pencil and her sketch pad.

"Whispers. Alone in a crowded room. No one hears. Screams everywhere. So much blood," she muttered.

"Mei mei, maybe you should just-"

"No. Have to. They're coming, Simon."

"Who is they?" he asked gently.

"Showing you like it showed me."

Simon watched her scribble furiously across the paper. He shifted towards the door, thinking about getting a soother. She grabbed his vest.

"No. No needles! I've slept so much. No more sleeping."

"Alright…alright."

She continued to draw for a few more minutes in silence. Mal watched as she threw the pencil down and grabbed a metal tin. She tossed colored pencil after colored pencil aside until she found the red and blue ones and then colored something in. She threw them aside and held it up looking deeply into Mal's eyes.

"They're coming."

The drawing was a tree with red leaves, a girl on a swing, and then two figures. The two figures had blue gloves. He couldn't see their faces.

"Are these them?" Mal asked as he pointed to the figures.

"So much blood…" she choked.

Simon put his arm around her. "Just try to get some rest."

She started to cry. "I don't want to feel. Make it go away. Make me sleep and never wake me up."

"Don't say that," Simon snapped. "Never say that. I'll be right back."

He looked at Mal. It was silent, "Watch her" look. He moved his head just slightly to let him know that he got the message.

Simon left. River looked up at Mal with teary eyes. She wanted him to take it all way. To take her away.

"Don't leave me alone," she choked fearfully.

"I won't," he replied. It was ripping him up inside to see her like that. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to go over to her or not.

She heard the thought and reached for him. He sat down beside her. She held onto him and silently cried into his chest. He stroked her hair muttering comforting words to her over and over again.

"You'll never have to feel again."

"You won't even remember his name."

He felt her jolt under his hand and her breathing quicken. She pulled away and grabbed the sketch pad. She started drawing again.

Simon reentered with the soothers.

"River-" he started.

"No. Can't sleep. Can't. She has to show them now."

Simon sighed and put the medicine away. "Okay."

"I'm gonna go since Simon-"

She grabbed his hand without looking up from her drawing. "Said you wouldn't leave her."

"The captain might have things to do," Simon offered.

"No, that's okay doc…" he decided as he gently squeezed her hand. "I got nowhere to be."

"Do you want me to stay?" Simon asked River.

"Don't have to."

"Do you want me here?"

"Crowded with three."

"I'll be just outside if you need me."

He left them alone, once again feeling slightly rejected.

Simon went out to everyone. They had all gathered outside of the infirmary.

"How is she?" Inara asked. Kaylee had filled her in on what happened.

"I'm not sure. She seems to know what's happening, but she's talking in riddles. More so than usual. She's anxious about something."

"Do we know what it might be about?" Shepherd inquired.

"She drew a picture and said 'they're coming'."

"Who's 'they'?" Kaylee frowned.

"I'm not sure. She didn't draw their faces. There were two of them and they had blue gloves."

"Should we be concerned?" Inara asked worriedly.

"It could be her condition talking," Simon sighed.

"Or it could be the witch part of her," Jayne added.

"Wait, where's the cap'in?" Kaylee realized.

"He's in there with her now."

"What should we do?" Wash asked.

"I offered her soothers, but she said no. I guess we should go on as usual and see what happens. Right now I don't see any cause for alarm. She's had these episodes before. I'll keep an eye on her."

Zoe patted Wash sympathetically on the arm. "She'll be fine, dear. You'll have your playmate back soon."

He gave her a little smile and they left for the bridge. Kaylee hugged Simon tightly.

"Zo's right. She'll be fine. She's strong like you."

"I know. I just feel…rejected."

"Rejected?"

"She wanted Mal to stay over me."

"Maybe she just needed someone that wouldn't baby her too much, you know? Maybe this is somethin' that she's gotta do for herself."

"That's possible. He's been really good to her."

"He ain't that bad of a person. He can be warm and fuzzy when he wants to be."

"Because he's a teddy bear."

She laughed. "That got a smile out of you."

****

She had been at it for hours. She drew picture after picture, muttering to herself as she went.

"Red eyes. Blue hands. So much death," she whispered.

He checked the time.

"Little one," he yawned.

"Red on white. Red on everything."

"River."

"Screaming so loudly-"

"Sweetheart."

She finally looked at him.

"It's almost two in the mornin'. I think it's about time for you to sleep."

"No. Can't sleep."

"Then just shut your eyes and put your head down for a bit."

"Can't rest. Have to show-"

He took the pencil from her. "You don't get it back until you rest for a little while."

She huffed, but relented. "Stay? Please?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Swing creaking alone in the wind. Vulnerable. I'm not going. Don't make me go," she started to cry.

"I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but okay. I'll stay. I'll get some blankets and camp out on the floor by the-"

She had already cleared a spot for him and pulled him down towards the bed. He was about to argue, but she set her head on his shoulder, clutching his arm close to her fragile little form.

"Goodnight Captain."

"G'night little one."

"Let me go," she said forcefully.

"No."

"I'm not going."

"You'll never have to feel again."

"You won't even remember his name," the other said.

She winced under the crushing pressure of the gloved hand.

"No."

"You'll be going home."

"Don't worry," the other agreed. "You won't feel the pain this time."

She resisted. They never should have lied to a reader.

She sat up with a scream.

Mal rubbed his eyes and sat up beside her. It took a moment for them both to remember where they were and who they were with. Once they did, she collapsed against him and grasped his shirt.

"It's okay, darlin'. Just a bad dream."

He wrapped his arms around her. She reveled in his presence and the way she felt tucked against him. She never wanted him to let go. Inara said she'd just know what it felt like, and she was right. Any doubts she had about how she felt towards her captain were gone and for a split second she felt like a normal girl. And then-

"You will come with us, River Tam."

"And no one will come for you this time."

She nuzzled closer to him and shut her eyes tightly. He held her closer.

"Sh, it's okay. It's okay."

"I'm not going…" she sobbed. "Don't make me. Stay with me."

"I will. I will…"

He couldn't help noticing what she felt like in his arms. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't plan on it until she was somewhat stable, which could be awhile. Oddly enough he didn't mind waiting it out with her.