Chapter 3- Maybe
Summary: Some things have no explanation

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Simon and Kaylee arrived in the cargo bay just as the mule sped in.

"What do we have?" Simon asked.

"He was gut shot," Zoe responded as she helped Jayne support Mal's weight.

"Again," Mal added hoarsely.

"He's bled a lot," Jayne grumbled. Mal wasn't the lightest cargo to lug from place to place.

They got him into the infirmary and up onto the table. Simon examined the wound. Mal had already blacked out from the blood loss.

"The bullet is still inside. I think that it might have hit something vital. I have to operate before he loses any more blood."

"I'll give you hand," Zoe offered. Simon nodded and Jayne and Kaylee left.

Wash and River arrived panting.

"Mal?" Wash asked.

"Gut shot," Jayne replied.

"Simon has to operate," Kaylee frowned. She was close to tears.

Shepherd and Inara got the news and joined everyone outside of the infirmary.

The doors flew open and Zoe ran out covered in blood. "Wash, get in here!"

Wash patted River on the shoulder briefly and joined them in the infirmary.

"What was that 'bout?" Kaylee squeaked nervously.

"He needs blood," River explained.

"How is he doing? Do we know?" Inara asked.

Everyone looked at the young reader curled up on the couch playing with her hair. She shook her head gravely, blinking back tears. Kaylee finally broke down and started to cry. Inara comforted her as best as she could. She wasn't feeling great either. Her last conversation with him wasn't the most pleasant in the 'verse.

River picked up on the conversation from Inara's fearful thoughts. Wrong. I do need him.

Shepherd sat beside River and took her hand, seeing how upset she looked. "It'll be alright."

"He listens, but He doesn't always agree."

"Who? The captain?"

"God. You can pray, but He doesn't always say yes."

"We just have to hope that He will."

"Broken book teaches a wrathful God."

"And a loving God."

"Contradictions. Either He is or isn't."

"He can be both. We just have to believe that He's in a good mood."

"I believe in Simon. He can save him. He's saved people before."

"So has God."

"Not in a literal sense."

"There are miracles."

She gave him a skeptical look.

"Haven't you ever seen or felt something that can't be proven or explained by math or science?"

She thought about it and the first thing that came to her mind was Mal. She couldn't explain how he calmed her down or how he made her feel the way he did.

Shepherd smiled at her. He could tell by the look on her face that she had. "Some things in life have no explanation and that is the explanation."

He patted her hand and got up to go talk to Jayne.

She thought about what he said. His words sunk in deeper than she thought they would. Maybe he was right. Maybe some things had no explanation.

After an hour, Simon emerged with a bloody apron looking exhausted. "He's alright. He'll be fine after a few days. The bullet hit a few vital organs, but I was able to extract the fragments and repair the damage. He's stable for now. No visitors just yet."

The whole room relaxed at the news. Shepherd was on his way to his room when River stopped him.

"He must have been in a good mood."

"That or your brother is quite the skilled surgeon."

"Maybe it's both."

He chuckled and continued on his way.

****

Mal woke up a few hours later to Wash and Zoe whispering quietly on one side and Simon checking his vital signs on the other. Kaylee bounced in later with her infectious sunny disposition to say hello and drag Simon up to dinner. Shepherd brought Mal a tray and sat with him for a bit. Inara and Jayne even stopped by for a moment or two.

He knew that he shouldn't be offended or bothered by the fact that River didn't stop in. She hated the infirmary. Still, he held onto a tiny sliver of hope that she might show up.

"You'll have to stay here for tonight. You should be able to go back to your bunk or one of the passenger dorms tomorrow," Simon handed him a blanket and rechecked his condition. He wasn't completely comfortable leaving him alone.

"I'm fine. Just get goin' already," Mal smirked. He knew that Kaylee would be waiting.

"Call if you need anything," he put a comm. on a tray by the bed before leaving.

Maybe it was the infirmary, but he felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness. It was cold, both literally and figuratively. It was all sorts of uncomfortable. He credited that mostly to the fact that a bullet had gone through his gut, but he digresses.

He started to worry about River. What if she woke up with a nightmare? What if she needed him and he wasn't there? Eventually he pushed the questions away, shut his eyes, and attempted to sleep.

He felt a shift on one side of the bed and a sudden rush of warmth tug at him. His eyes opened slowly and he saw a blurry silhouette that he pieced together as River.

"Riv-"

"Sh!" she snapped.

"What are you…" he paused as she spread out beside him, carefully draping her arm across his shoulders. "…doin'…" she readjusted his head so it was resting on her shoulder. "…here? You hate this room."

"I do, but you're hurt."

"But the memories and nightmares-"

"You've been shot, Captain. You need to sleep. So stop talking and rest."

He didn't argue. Instead he shut his eyes and listened to her.

He couldn't help feeling like there was a role reversal. Normally he was the one holding her. The one comforting her. The one helping her fall asleep. The tables had turned and he was wrapped in a blanket named River Tam that chased away all of the cold empty discomfort from before, replacing it with the strangest feeling in the 'verse: home. The gorram girl felt like home and he couldn't explain why.

****

Simon was always surprised at the captain's resilience to bullet wounds. He was up and walking around the next morning with ease, taking the steps two or three at a time without showing even the slightest bit of difficulty.

One thing that caught everyone's attention was the sudden attachment that had formed between their youngest passenger and the captain. Wherever River went, Mal wasn't far behind and vice versa. Simon wasn't sure if she was the one following the captain or if he was the one following her. All he knew is that they were almost always together.

She still spent a good deal of time on the bridge with Wash learning to fly and teaching him new dance moves, but other than that she was almost always with Mal.

If he was working in the cargo bay, she'd be on the catwalk waiting until he finished. If she was at the table reading, he'd be across from her doing paperwork or cleaning his guns.

He was sitting there one day reviewing the ship's papers alone. He felt like something was missing like a piece of the puzzle wasn't there. It was a strange feeling. He always felt like he had everything, but then it changed. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Captain," River grinned as she glided into the kitchen. She sat on the edge of the table right beside his paperwork, setting her feet on the seat of the chair.

"Hey there little one. How was your lesson?"

"Blonde let me fly."

"Well we didn't fall outta the sky, so you did somethin' right."

She smirked and looked at the papers. "Working?"

"I am."

She got up and walked away. He frowned. She returned with a book and sat across from him. He broke out into a smile. It was strange how it felt like the pieces were back in place. He thought about it for a moment. He first felt like something was missing when River was gone and when she came home it went away. It still happened. Maybe it was a coincidence. His heart stopped when the second half of the statement fluttered across his thoughts. Maybe it wasn't.