Chapter 4- Just
Summary: He accepts it just when it's time to go

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Kaylee was under the consol messing with the wires. It was the fourth time she had to be up there that month. She didn't mind it. It gave her time to gossip with Wash. Surprisingly, Wash was a lot of fun to discuss the crew with. She used to chat with Inara, but since the topic made Inara all manner of pouty and upset, she brought it up with Wash. He was the only one that agreed with her.

"Is he still sleeping in her room?" Wash asked.

"Not for the last few nights. Simon's found 'em sleepin' on the couch side by side. Has she said anythin' to you when you're teachin' her?"

"I've asked, but she won't say much."

"What does she say?"

"That she doesn't have 'those feelings' for anyone."

Kaylee laughed. "She blushes though, don't she?"

"How'd you know?"

"She's like Simon like that. I've asked her 'bout him and she gets tongue tied 'n blushin'. It's so adorable. They were made for each other I don't care what 'Nara or Simon says."

"I know. I called them cute once and Inara got upset, but ended up agreeing with me."

"They're real shiny. I wish he'd just make his move already!"

"This is Mal. He liked Inara for years and never got past slight flirtation."

"We gotta nudge him in the right direction then."

"Why are you so gung-ho about this?"

"We can go double datin'! Or triple if'n you 'n Zoe wanna go! It'll be so much fun out dancin' with 'em and havin' a good ol' time…"

"Good luck with that. I don't think he'll ever let himself be with River. He's twice her age."

"Out here it don't matter how many years young you are. It just matters if you can find somebody that makes you happy and you've seen how much they's been smilin' since they've been spendin' time with each other! She hasn't had a moment in a month!"

"All true, but he's a tough one, Kaylee."

"And she ain't? If anyone can get to him, she can. She can see right through 'im!"

"She'll have to be the one fueling things if they're gonna work out."

"They are. I just know it."

****

"Now what?"

"Just keep stirring that."

"I've been stirrin' it for ten minutes!"

"And it's still lumpy!"

He huffed, but continued stirring the concoction.

"Have you seen the box of tomatoes Shepherd brought back from the market?" she asked.

"You put it beside the sink."

"It isn't there. Did you move it?"

"No."

"You had to have moved it. I put it right there!"

"I didn't move it."

She found it beside him. She opened it and held one of the tomatoes up with an amused smirk. "Why is there bite marks in this tomato?"

"I have no idea. Maybe Shepherd took a bite on the way home…"

"Right…you have something on the corner of your mouth…" she reached out and wiped some of the tomato juice off of his face with her thumb.

"How'd that get there?" he asked innocently.

She laughed and resumed the meal preparations. He grinned. Making her laugh was one of his favorite things to do next to making her smile.

"Captain," she said in that "I have a thought" voice.

"Yes, darlin'?"

"How can you eat tomatoes raw like that?"

He chuckled. "I just do."

"You're not quite right."

He looked back at her like, "Look who's talkin'."

She tossed a carrot at him. It hit him in the shoulder.

"Hey!"

She laughed again. "Your fault…"

They finished up making dinner and then joined everyone at the table. After dinner, Mal got up and started making a pot of tea. It had become almost a nightly ritual. They'd sit on the couch with the tea until they ran out or fell asleep, which ever came first.

He was on what felt his hundredth cup of tea when she fell asleep. He checked the time. Thirteen past midnight. He covered her up with a blanket, brushing some of her hair out of her face so she could breathe. He had to decide. Move her to her room and risk waking her or leave her be. He chose the latter, settling down against the other side of the couch.

He had to wonder why he was staying. She rarely had nightmares anymore, she was stable, and he always woke up with an aching neck if he slept on the couch. He hadn't slept in his bunk in over a month. He hadn't even attempted to. It was obvious that she didn't need him like she once did, yet he stayed which led him to the conclusion that things had shifted. He had to accept it. Inara was right. He needed her, not the other way around.

His eyes stayed on her sleeping form for a moment. Her breathing was quicker than it usually was. He paused. Have I really been watchin' her so much that I can tell what's normal for her breathin' and what isn't? He shook the thought off and continued to watch her for a moment. He could tell by the expression on her face and the way that she was clutching the blanket that she wasn't dreaming about puppies and rainbows.

"Are you sure?" the young Alliance officer asked cautiously.

"We are sure," he hissed.

"I apologize. I didn't mean to question your authority. I'll encode it right away."

"Right away isn't good enough."

"We want it to be done yesterday," the other man picked up where he left off flawlessly.

"I'm sorry. There was-" the officer attempted.

"No excuses! She is very important to us."

"She has leaked top secret information to the general public and they have not responded well."

"There is no telling what she knows."

"We know what she is capable of, and she must be eliminated once and for all."

The Alliance officer took in what the two men said, pausing to straighten his uniform.

"But you," one of the men growled, venom dripping of each word. "You are unaware of what we are capable of."

He swallowed hard. He heard stories, but he never believed them. Somehow seeing how calm and collected they were discussing such awful things made him change his mind.

"I will have it done within the hour."

"You have fifteen minutes to encode and broadcast it."

"If you don't, you will have to atone for your shortcomings."

"It will be-"

The wave was cut and he was left standing in the Alliance cruiser. He sprinted to the nearest computer, shoving the attendant aside.

"What was that for?" he asked angrily.

"I have fifteen minutes to encode the subliminal and broadcast it onto every screen in every system."

"What for?"

"To locate and bring the fugitive River Tam to justice."

She jolted awake. Mal had been waiting to see if she would wake up or not. He practically sprang into action. He was kneeling beside her, hand rubbing her back soothingly, eyes locked on hers.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded tiredly. "Just a nightmare."

She sat up slowly and he sat next to her worriedly. He was convinced that he jinxed her. She hadn't had a nightmare in a long time and the second he pointed it out, she had one.

"There is no such thing as a jinx," she muttered.

"It's just a mite coincidental, don't you think?"

"It was only a nightmare, Captain. No memories or visions. Just a nightmare."

"Really?"

"I dreamed something that can't be possible."

She curled up in his lap and shut her eyes. He automatically started gently stroking her silky hair.

"You killed them. They can't be alive. I'm safe now."

"I did. They can't. And you are."

She giggled. "Goodnight Captain."

"G'night River."

"She must be eliminated once and for all."

She opened her eyes and sat up. Mal looked at her curiously.

"What's wrong?"

She was busy watching Wash push the younger version of herself on the swing. They stopped and turned towards her.

"They aren't like us you know," Wash commented. "They beat him before, what makes you think that they could be killed so easily?"

She turned to Mal. "How'd you kill them?"

"I shot them in the head."

Her younger self giggled. "Just a bullet in the brain can't end them."

"Sweetheart?" Mal asked.

"Time to go, River…"

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