A/N: I wasn't sure how to do this chapter so I hope it comes out all right.

S o m e t i m e s

Hope has to be a little forced.

It was weird for the Doctor to just there and stares out at space for this long. There were times when Martha was sure he suffered from ADD (well, maybe not suffer). But right now he was just staring. It was quit frankly freaking her out. Martha waved her hand in front of the Doctor's face a few times and called his name. When that didn't work she tried asking who Rose was, although she had a gut feeling she already knew. Still nothing, but that's when she noticed something she hadn't before. The slight wrinkle of his forehead due to the furrowed brow, the way his eyes had an extremely focused look, it all meant one thing. He was thinking. Martha leaned in a little more to the Doctor almost expecting to hear his thoughts.

Not a smart idea since moments later the Doctor shot up and knocked heads with the confused girl. Martha fell back holding her head in pain, but the Doctor paid it no mind as he took three large strides to the TARDIS console. "Doctor?" Martha was getting worried again.

He turned around with a wide wolfish grin on his face and Martha felt the chill of another adventure coming on. It was that chill that forced her legs to walk into the TARDIS and start a life with the Doctor. "Tell me, Martha, when the doctor closes up a wound, it stays closed, correct?"

She wasn't sure how to answer that question, mostly because it wasn't what she was expecting. "Well, I suppose so, unless the patient strains too much." She tried.

"And if that happens, and things start coming through, small things like…let's say signals, where does the wound open?" He was speaking in that fast, excited nature of his as he walked over to Martha and grabbed her shoulders.

"At the scar!" Martha said getting pulled into the excitement. She almost felt as though there would be a prize for the correct answer when the Doctor smiled again.

"So, now were are we going?"

"The!…scar?"

"Yes!" the doctor hurried around the console punching in coordinates before Martha was able to question anything. Her mind was going a million miles an hour trying to piece together exactly what had happened. The phone call, Rose, the scar, none of it seemed to fit together.

"Doctor, what scar? What about Rose?" Martha was frantically trying to keep up with the Doctor as he ran around, practically dancing. But he stopped when she had said that name. Rose.

"It all fits. I don't expect you to know because I never told you." Had he been facing her, Martha would have seen the guilty look on his face. "Rose, she was fantastic. I don't know how else to explain her. There just aren't words." His voice seemed to rise at strange points and Martha was beginning to think he was crying, or trying not to. "I lost her not long before I met you," the Doctor explained.

Martha remembered that day clearly. He had seemed so lost when she first saw him. It wasn't obvious, because the Doctor tried to hide it. That's how he was, she learned. As she traveled with him, he got better, but he never completely healed.

"I lost Rose, she was taken away during the war and ended up in another dimension with her family. It was what I thought I wanted for her, but she knew better. She fought to stay with me, but in the end it wasn't meant to be." The Doctor breathed in deeply. "She loved me, and I never got to answer her, which is probably my biggest regret." Martha felt a lump in her throat. The Doctor had never spoken about any of his companions this way.

"But she's still alive, yeah?" Martha thought hopefully. "I remember you telling me about the void, and the war, if a signal is getting through, maybe Rose can too!"

The Doctor finally looked at Martha. He had a look of sad thanks. "That would be nice, but the most I'm hoping for is to be able to tell her my answer." Martha looked forlorn. "If we opened the scar enough to allow Rose through, the Cybermen and the Daleks could also get through. I wanted to be selfish that day and stop everything to save her, and I've fought with myself everyday since about it. But I can't ever be selfish, and that is my curse."

"After I speak to Rose I'm going to find out what is straining the scar and close it for good."

"No!" Martha couldn't stop herself. "I have seen you help complete strangers and save the world a million times over, and for once you need to be selfish. There has to be a way to bring her back without setting the Cybermen and Daleks free, and I won't let you give up until we have looked at every option."

For a moment there was silence. Martha almost regretted speaking up, she was afraid she mad the Doctor mad, but then he smiled. It was small, but content.

"You know what, she would have said the same thing."

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: I'm not sure I like this chapter, but I can't see it done any other way so whatever. Please review.