EPOV

What have I done?

Leaving Bella was supposed to be for the better. She was supposed to be happier. I was supposed to take away all her nightmares, when I let her go. I never imagined that I would cause her pain.

Last night she was so broken. She was scared and lost. She called out for me and I wasn't there to comfort her. I was the caused her to scream in terror. I can never fix that. I can't take back the pain I made her endure. I am the monster I warned her about.

"Edward, she is safe. She is on her way. Why do you feel like this?" Jasper asked me.

I guess I shouldn't be surprise that he could sense my guilt and remorse. He could feel the agony I was going through. I was in my room looking out the window.

"Sorry Jasper. There is so much more going on then the problem at hand. I have brought her more pain than we can ever imagine. She will not want me to be there."

"Edward, this is something that you don't have to go through on your own. We are a family, she is our family. This is my fault. I caused this chain of reactions.

"No Jasper, this is something that I brought on myself. I allowed her to be around us, I didn't fight my temptation to be around her. I will never be good enough for her. This was my fault and I don't see how she will ever forgive me." I only spoke the truth. I omitted that I was scared to have Bella around Jasper. Her birthday party was the last time she saw the family. His reaction to her blood is a reaction that could happen to anyone of us.

"It was my fault Edward. I would give anything to take back that day. I will keep my distance from her." Jasper started to exit my room.

"Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"Can you please try to explain to her the danger she is. I don't think I am going to join you. It will be better for her." It pained me to know that she would be in the house with me and I could not or would not see her. I promised her I would not interfere.

"If that is what you think will be best."

"Thank you brother." Jasper left me alone. I have been alone for all of my existence, until Bella. I couldn't have her anymore though. I needed to get these thoughts out of my head.

"She's here." Carlisle announced to the house. I could here everyone gathering down stairs. In mere moments my missing piece would be entering through the door. My Bella.

BPOV

I arrived at the Cullen's house faster than I would have liked. Alice came around to my door and helped me out. She offered me her hand to hold. I was going to need all the support I could get. Patiently Alice walked with me. I know that my human speed must have been driving her mad. I was going slower than usual, taking as much time as I could to prepare.

I was both excited and dreading this reunion. My emotions were going wild. I was very glad that my brain was defected and he couldn't read my thoughts. This had to be a dream. I was going to see them, all of them. I was happy at that thought, but at the same time I was holding back tears of frustration and anger. My heart was racing. I had so many questions to ask. The two most important ones were why and how long until they ripped me into two again?

We reached the door and Alice asked, "Ready Bella?"

All I could do was nod. She opened the door and led me into the house. Everything was just as it was the day of my Birthday. It was as if they never left. They all stood there waiting for me, everyone except him. The Denali Sisters were here, along with two others I have never met before. I quickly let the disappointment run through me.

Alice let go of my hand and walked over to Jasper. He looked especially tense. I hope that he wasn't still thinking about the incident. I didn't blame him. He was only acting on his instinct. I gave a smile to him, trying to let him know no hard feelings.

He smiled back at me and I felt a rush of serenity wash over me. Of course he would feel my torn emotions. I was cautiously happy at the moment. I had to keep reminding myself that they could leave at any second again and it would just be me.

"Welcome Bella, again, into our home. You don't know how wonderful it is to see you. Please let's go sit down in the dining room." Carlisle was the first to speak. His voice was singing to me.

"Okay." I followed the family and guests into the room that was show only. We sat down at a huge table. I sat between Alice and Esme. Esme shot me a warm smile. She looked like she wanted to hug me, but I think they were all giving me my space.

When everyone was settled, I looked around the table. Still no sign of him. Alice did say everyone was going to be here. She wanted him to explain things to me. I started to panic all over again. I let my hopes get the better of me. I thought I was going to get to see him. Even if he didn't want me, I wanted him.

"Bella allow me to introduce our guests. This is Elizar and his mate Carmen. I believe that you have met Tanya, Irina, and Kate." I looked around the table at the new faces. Irina looked sad. Where was Laurent? Maybe he wasn't welcome into this house and that is why Irina looked sad. I looked at the more familiar faces. Emmet smiled at me, Alice and Jasper both gave me an encouraging nod, and Rose looked like she didn't care. There was an empty chair, it for him. Where was he?

"Edward," I flinched as Jasper spoke his name. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you, but Edward will be here in a moment. He went out, mmm, he went out hunting." He looked at Alice while he said this. Why, what were they hiding? Did they have to drag him here to see me?

"I wasn't looking for him, but thank you all the same. So what brings you all back here?" I tried to put my best face forward, acting like I didn't care whether he was here or not. I don't know how successful I was.

"Bella, this is very hard for us to say, but we are sorry about any inconvenience our family has brought into your life. It seems that there is some trouble following you. Do you remember the red head mate of James? Her name is Victoria." Carlisle said.

I nodded. How could I forget the fiery red hair and blood red eyes that pierced you?

"It seems that she had a closer connection to James than we believed. She and Laurent were working together trying to find you. When you started classes and Laurent spotted you, he went running to Victoria to report your location. He also reported that you were no longer with our coven. She thinks that you are unprotected and she is coming after you. She wants to cause Edward as much pain as he has caused her. But we promi..."

"She is trying to find me? She wants to kill me to hurt hi...Edward?" Speaking his name made this situation real. Victoria was going to kill me. She didn't know that killing me wouldn't faze Edward in the slightest. I looked down at the table, "but harming me will do nothing to Edward. He doesn't love me." There was nothing but silence after I said those words. I had eleven vampires staring at me motionless.

"I have had enough of these lies! Edward if you don't get in here and explain Bella the truth or I will. She deserves more than this." Alice growled in the direction of the kitchen.

"Stop being a coward Edward." Emmet roared. Rosalie rolled her eyes. I can see that her views of me have not changed much.

"Edward, honey, she deserves the truth. It will be better for the both you." Esme chimed.

I was so confused. I already know the truth. He doesn't love me.

Edward opened the kitchen door. He was more beautiful then I remembered. His golden eyes pierced through me to the very core. Seeing Edward for the first time made my heart skip a beat. I started blushing, knowing that they all heard it. I was in a room full of people who could tell my reaction purely on the beat of my heart. Not exactly fair when you think about it.

I let out a barely audible whisper, "Edward." He was real, no hallucinations. I wanted to run to him, but my feet stayed put.

"Hello Bella." were his first words to me. I was so caught up in the moment I didn't even notice that everyone left the dining room.

Edward stared at me for a long moment. I couldn't read his face. I didn't know if he was happy or upset to see me.

"Bella, it has been a long time. I hope that you are doing well."

"That is what you needed to tell me? They brought me out here for you to give me small talk?"

"Not exactly, they brought you out her to tell you about Victoria. I simply do not know what to say to you. I can imagine what you are thinking and what you are feeling..."

"Do you really know how I feel Edward?" I had to stop his small talk right there. I don't know if he was talking about how I was feeling now or for the past year, but it was time he knew about what he did to me. I couldn't hold it in anymore. He needed to know even if he didn't love me. Maybe this is the closure I needed.

I continued yelling at him. "You left me all alone, in the woods, away from anything that could possibly comfort me. You ran away and I couldn't follow. You decided on your own that we were finished and left. There was no warning or insight to the pain you were going to drag me through. Edward Cullen you are selfish. You allowed me to love you and trust in you. You let me fall in love with your entire family and I wanted to become a part of it. You made me believe that we would be together forever because you loved me as much as I loved you. But that was all a lie. I was simply a hobby that fancied your interest for a short while. Edward you were my life. When you left, you took a huge piece of me that can never be replaced by anything else. I have never felt so all alone. I was in a large room filled with people and still felt alone. Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt that the one person who could comfort you was the one who caused you so much pain?"

Several different expressions took over his face. First anguish, then anger, then pain. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took an unnecessary breath. "Isabella, I can not begin to apologize enough for all the pain I have brought into your life because of my existence. I deserve any and all hatred you have towards me. Please believe me when I tell this to you. I lied to you. I never stopped loving you. The moment I first saw you, you became the only reason I existed. Since then I have planned on only remaining here as long as you breathe. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done. You just took it; you didn't even try to fight for me to stay. I figured you would move on; forget about me and my family. Humans are fickle creatures. I never meant to bring you into more danger by leaving you. Meeting me, I have sentenced you to death. I truly am a monster. There are not enough words in any language to tell you how sorry that I am. I love you, you are my life, and you are not a hobby of mine. I do not deserve you; I left you to save you from me and my kind. "

"Stop. Stop right there Edward." I was confused. He lied to me? I have been apart from my soul mate for over a year for my own protection? Can I believe him now when he says he loves me; he left me to protect me? Looking into his eyes told me yes. Even without the explanation I knew I didn't hate him. I would take him back. How could I ever hate him? I love him as strongly as I did then. He was my life and being in the same room with him made me feel whole. I needed him.

"Bella you are driving me mad. Please let me know what you are thinking."

"Edward, you are not a monster. You could never be a monster. I don't and could never hate you. I love you too much. Why did you lie to me? Why let me believe that you don't want me?" I took a deep breath, in that moment I realized I had been holding my breath for a very long time.

"Bella, knowing me has caused you to be in danger more times than should be allowed. I thought I was saving you from hardship and pain. I wanted you to live the life you deserved. You shouldn't love something like me."

"Edward, do you know me? I am a walking disaster with or without you. I had a death sentence the second I was born. You have saved me from death on more than one occasion. My life doesn't make sense without you in it." I looked him in the eye. I walked closer to him and reached for his hands. At first he pulled away.

"Bella, how can you forgive me so easily? I heard you scream last night. You were in so much pain. I caused you so much pain." He turned his back to me in shame.

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. "Edward I screamed because you left me. I screamed for you not because of you. Please look past all this. I am not a normal human, I didn't forget about you. Despite everything I still love you. I want to be with you. Most days I lay in a ball trying to keep my insides from falling out. Edward you make me whole. Please look at me." Trying to get him to turn around was like trying to move cement. Finally after five minutes he turned around to face me. We met face to face. He put his cool hand next to my cheek and caressed it. I shuddered. I have longed for his touch.

"I hurt you and you are the one consoling me. You are too good for me. I do not deserve you my love." He pulled me into a hug. I snuggled my face into his chest taking in his scent.

"Okay, thanks for the hallmark moment, but are we going to kick so red headed vamp butt?" I was brought back to reality by Emmett. After they deal with Victoria they were just going to leave me again. I sighed and looked down at the ground. If the left me again, I know I wouldn't survive this time.

AN: I updated the grammar and expanded some of the story line. Not a lot, but some. Enjoy! As always thanks for the comments!