Ruroni Ranko
Chapter Nine
by Skysaber
aka Jared Ornstead
During the mushroom incident events diverge from normal and enemies try to take advantage of our pigtailed hero. Unfortunately for them, attempts to get rid of him often go disastrously wrong.
OoOoO
Nodoka was not a woman shy about rushing where she wanted to go when she thought it was important. Also, she was a star and thus remarkably free of studio restrictions when she wanted to go somewhere.
So she had crossed the lot from her filming location to the site of the clinic where her son had gotten reported remarkably quickly, trailing her friends and coworkers behind.
However, arriving outside of the building she paused on her way in, halting in the face of the rather remarkable act that was being played out in the grounds not normally used for filming.
She halted because she saw her son involved. It could only be her son, he was her own image, blended nicely with the traits of her late husband. He could be no one else, and beside him fought...
Nodoka felt faint, then a wave of shame crossed her mind in the wake of realizing that her first thought on seeing the flame-haired maiden fighting brilliantly beside her boy was a selfish one - that her own career of starring in Flame-Haired Ranko films was over.
Like all women whose living depended to a large extent on her looks, Nodoka had a keen sense of potential rivals. She had spent most of her adult life trying to fit herself to the mold of a certain near-mythical figure, and did it better than most. She knew that image, as part of her career she'd studied several paintings of the flame-haired legend, and knew well enough to know when the directors would start seeing a pretty new face replace her own on the silver screen. She was looking at that face right now. It didn't matter if the girl had all of the acting talent of an untrained monkey, between her obvious fighting style and perfect good looks (the EXACT combination of innocent and ravishing needed to play the role) it would not be long before there was another actress playing that part that Nodoka had done so well on. It didn't even matter if the girl wanted to act or not, the producers would eventually find a way to convince her. The stunning redhead was just that perfect for the role.
But that realization lasted only a moment, she ruthlessly squashed that thought down below her wonder at the sight of her boy performing an act like no other. After all, she'd had a long and very well paid career. Most of that money had gotten saved or put away into a suite of investments that were paying off quite nicely. It had been some time since she'd needed to work for a living, seeing as how she'd lived, while decently, still well below her prodigious income. It would be nice, in a way, to hand off that part to another and devote her time to getting to know her son.
Nodoka's breath caught in her throat as she witnessed Ranma perform a leaping acrobatic trick like no other she'd ever witnessed - in a life lived mostly around those who did with wires or stage props what couldn't be done by mere skill.
Perhaps it was time she moved on from acting to directing, and her son would need a manager to get his own career started. Snagging a nearby camera crew from another set, Nodoka barked orders and soon had them pointed at this awe-inspiring display of skill.
OoOoO
Meanwhile, not long before, nor that far away...
"Here we are at the world-famous Hideki Studios, where we are being privileged to see how some of your favorite films have been made, as well as achieve a startling glimpse at the workplace of Japan's favorite stars. Now we'll be going to..."
CRASH!!
A body came hurtling passed the reporter in a ferocious charge, ignoring her and her crew to perform in impossible leap up the side of a building and in through a window, his rushing attack led off by a volley of thrown chains against whatever was inside.
The reporter lady, her hair still blowing in his passage, turned in some amount of confusion to her cameraman, "Is this supposed to happen?" Behind her, in the background, the white robed figure posed in the window, his back to them as he postured with a dozen swords emerging from his billowing sleeves.
One of her support staff shrugged. "Well, this is the spot they told us to do our film spot at. This must be a promotional."
The reporter lady blinked, and then shrugged. "Well, then get a good shot of this, whatever it is." She turned on her profile so she was still in the feed while the camera got an unrestricted glimpse of the promotional fighter as he got flung backwards out of an upper-story window by what looked to be an orange laser.
Trailing chains, the white robed figure with glowing eyes flipped around in mid-air to land amidst a splatter of glass shards. He'd not even landed before his almost living chains pulled a young girl in a short skirt out of the building down toward a forest of knives that appeared from his sleeves.
The girl in the short red skirt shot him with a ball of fire, which the robed man took on a sewer lid which melted even as a five foot high, ten foot long tiger composed entirely out of lightning snatched the girl out of death's grasp, slashing apart those chains even as it saved her from falling upon the knives.
The reporter's mouth kept opening but she wasn't able to muster enough of her wits to say anything. Didn't they usually use graphic artists to pencil that sort of thing in after they were done filming?
Indeed, the molten metal molding to the side of the robed actor was the sort of effect they normally spent millions on.
A hefty exchange of lasers, lunges and fireballs followed, during which a chip of destroyed building flew passed and put a slight cut into the reporter's cheek, but all the reaction this merited was to have the lady touch it, then look about wondering where the safety staff was and why hadn't they put up some plastic fragment shields?
Oh, then she reconsidered. That would have ruined the surprise effect they were after, and they obviously wanted their unscripted reactions. Her only trouble there was, the scale and scope of the effects kept numbing her mind.
For example, she couldn't imagine how they got that lightning cat to actually claw apart that robed guy, spraying blood all over the place as it mauled him.
But then they had another actor leap in and cut the robed guy's head in half! In fact they didn't stop with the cranium and clove him almost in half, leaving the sword sticking out of the robed actor's heart!
It's got to be animatronics, the reported thought dazedly as that figure leapt up to stand in the air, his ought-to-be-fatal wounds already sealing themselves.
Now this is the first example of poor movie-making I've seen in this clip, the lady reporter thought as a sudden cloud of fog blanketed the stage floor. The audience really ought to be able to see the action so they can get involved.
Still, it is an interesting schtick, so long as it's used sparingly, she went on to muse, as from the outside perspective they were able to watch the floating animatronics guy throw projectile weapons of every description, including safes, stoves and refrigerators (and one, giant, ten ton weight to lead off) into the cloud every time those girls said anything.
When the floating guy used giant fans (to hide the wind generators off-set, she was sure) to blow away the concealing clouds of mist, she had to admit they hadn't overdone it with the effect.
In fact, it was rather charming as a way to reveal the two new arrivals. The one guy with the sword they'd seen before as he'd made an attack only to disappear again. But the girl...
The reporter's breath caught in her throat.
She was only here at Hideki Studios because out of all of the reporters at her office, she was the one most expert on all things related to their signature star - Flame Haired Ranko.
And if that wasn't her very image standing there beside the sword-wielding boy, she didn't know anything.
Smiling brightly, the reporter turned back to her camera, finding words at last. "Wow! What a way to reveal the studio's newest star! Obviously they're planning a big buildup for this, the new player of the studio's signature performer! Let's watch the action, shall we? And see if this actress has what it takes to play the legendary Flame Haired Ranko!"
OoOoO
"Ranma! Help us out!" Sailor Mars called completely unnecessarily, as the twin copies of the martial artist made an attack on the youma.
Tensie the youma had already discarded Mousse, as that vessel was drained and of no use to her anymore. Instead, she did what youma often do and based her attacks on the psychic template acquired while sucking out her host's energy.
That meant, in this case, that Tensie was a walking arsenal, and clad in steel to boot.
The two reflections of Ranma had lunged at her, their speed now easily eclipsing hers, and landed blows to both of her sides, each in vital spots. But the swords did not penetrate, neither could they be removed, sticking there in place before being absorbed and added to the youma's arsenal.
Or so they would have been, if Tensie hadn't blasted both martial artists back with an aura attack, smashing them up against walls and causing them, and their swords, to glitter out.
Streams of arrows began to impact on the creature, as Miukyo and her copy-Ranma barrage it from range, successfully hitting and hurting the creature enough so as to capture its entire attention. Suddenly the creature staggered, and both ninja and samurai noted that it was a moonstone tipped arrow that did the most damage, blowing a hole into its steel side larger than any of their clenched fists.
A hole that was also slow at closing, not regenerating anywhere near the rate of the other wounds that it had previously received.
Bingo! Both thought, one weakness has been identified. These creatures, or at least this one, don't like moonstone.
That would be the very first arrowtip used in the next fight against one of these, to see if that substance was a weakness general among all of this kind of demon.
The three Sailor Scouts present and on scene were still tuckered out, panting with the strain of their exertions. Both Venus and Mars had flung about multiple full-power attacks while Mercury had pushed herself to the limits to get here on time. Though this would have been a beautiful moment to finish the youma off, none of them had the energy to do it.
Making a decision, the remaining dream clones stopped, informed their charges of what they were doing, and each one struck itself in the face, disappearing.
Back in the Mirror Mansion, the original Ranma Saotome spilled out of the mirror as all of his clones simultaneously suicided, then raced as fast as he could toward a certain film studio (avoiding the ladle lady on his way out this time), pushing himself to the limits as he leaped and raced, running along the tops of moving trains to get himself there as fast as humanly possible.
OoOoO
The Kuonji clan headquarters was neither large nor grand. It was a fairly small and humble dwelling that could not have been compared favorably to the Tendo home. But then, if they had been a rich clan, either in influence or wealth, it would have been unlikely for them to offer their daughter in an engagement to a wandering martial artist's son, or with only a food cart for a dowry.
Then again, those who are rich in pride and strong in spirit do not need alot of wealthy trappings to take themselves or their honor very seriously.
Nevertheless, the Kuonji clan head's home was not far distant from a certain mountain where a noted monastery or infamous brothel lurked, which was what led to Ukyo's idea.
Ukyo'd decided to stop by on their way back to take care of a certain problem she had that was still outstanding. Needless to say, the clan were not expecting her to return at any particular time, however they hardly had any complaints when Ukyo entered in that day, carrying Genma's still-living yet severed head back to her clan and presenting it to her father getting full credit for a kill on the old, cheating bastard, and regaining much lost status in her family's eyes, a gain compounded when Seijuro vouched for her as having newly married the boy she was promised to - his adopted son.
The celebration was enormous and threatened to go on for days.
However, behind closed doors and in the privacy only willing ignorance can provide, some very delicate negotiations went on. Because, despite the Kuonji's great joy in Ukyo's magnificent success, it was not an unassailable victory.
It wasn't that her clan wasn't happy to receive her back and shout with joy over her triumph, but a strict and uncompromising view on affairs could still see things as complicated. So it was important to resolve their position on things so no questions ever arose.
Strictly speaking to get full credit for her vengeance and get her honor restored, Ukyo had to accomplish one of two things, either the deaths of both the guilty parties (Ranma and Genma Saotome), or her marriage to Ranma Saotome. She'd also have to present proof of whichever method she'd used once it was fully completed.
Well, Ranma Saotome no longer existed. He was Ranma Hiko now, so it could be interpreted, if you were of a mind to do so, that one of the guilty parties lived (Ranma), yet Ukyo had not married a Saotome.
It may seem that such a dangling thread was of no consequence, yet smaller issues than that had been blown out of all proportion to call a clan's honor into question before. So it was important to insulate yourself against those rumors ahead of time, just so any such attacks would be made to seem even more petty and insignificant than they already were.
The most uncompromising of all approaches would be to order the girl to kill Ranma. However, this was her family and they loved her. No one in the Kuonji clan was inclined to give her an impossible or distasteful command like killing her own husband. Besides, body language can say a great deal, and Seijuro's plainly stated that if they tried to make such a demand there wouldn't be a single Kuonji standing by that time the following day - and worse, Ukyo's mannerisms said that she'd be on his side of that fight. Nor was there a man woman or child in the Kuonji clan who doubted they could do it, either. The deadly auras of those two fighters were incredible, the likes of which had not been seen in Japan for ages.
So, however they wanted to conceal it with ornate and fanciful trappings, they did what custom in Japan demanded and bowed to those stronger than them. (Not, it must be said, that they did this unwillingly. Most minds were glad to call the entire honor debt fulfilled, and a marvelous success at that.)
No, the true villain of the smirch on their clan's honor now had his severed head on a plate in their living room (admittedly, rolling its eyes and trying to say things from time to time, which was more than a bit creepy). And their daughter had married the boy she had long ago been promised to, even if he had a different clan name now.
Every one of her family was willing to take this as a complete and perfect victory.
Seijuro and Ukyo both assured them that the change of clan was all for the better, and given what they knew of it before it disappeared from the histories, the Kuonji's had to agree. It was, or at least it had been long ago, a very prestigious name, for the short period before it vanished completely.
So, to insulate themselves against any further questions down the road, they set about establishing what protections they could against inquiry. One of the first of those was to place Genma's severed head into a tub of clear plastic, about bowling ball sized (it was, in fact, a mold used to create bowling balls) which hardened around and left him embedded in see-through material, trapped like a fly in amber.
They did this so he wouldn't be able to move around too much and give away the fact that his head was still alive.
Then an enterprising woodcarver used his bandsaw to cut the whole block, including head, in half right down the middle, so they could split it open and expose his brain (which was astonishingly small - perhaps atrophied through lack of use). It was in this condition they took the whole thing down to meet the county coroner, splitting open the block to show a perfect cross-section of Genma's head, then asked, "Is this man alive?"
The coroner looked at them as though they were crazy, but responded, "I don't see how he could be." And obligingly filled out the death certificate.
They then sent this grisly trophy on the rounds through their allied clans for them to witness what appeared to be iron-clad proof of the man's demise.
Plans were already in place for Ukyo to follow those same rounds next week along with Ranma and introduce him as, "This is my husband, and the man I was promised to marry."
Little would be said, and those visits would be brief, but the impression they hoped to foster was that upon Genma's death the remaining Saotomes had decided to honor their oath and accept Ukyo as Ranma's lawful bride, thus fulfilling the honor agreement between the two clans and ending the bad blood between them.
Any who figured it out would be offered the explanation that Ranma Saotome had given up his clan and thus no longer existed, so was effectively dead and the honor debt fulfilled. On the other hand, if the honor debt was transferable to his new clan then so was the obligation to marry, and Ukyo had married him, so it was fulfilled in that case, too.
It was a solid case, but not the only possible interpretation. There were others that could, in a worst case, lead to those two clans going to war. So that person would be sworn to secrecy so the Saotomes and Kuonjis did not have this tangle lying between them
Even though they would almost certainly win any feud with Ranma, Seijuro and Ukyo on their side, the Kuonjis just didn't feel right about killing a whole lot of innocent people just because they happened to be related to that honorless moron: Genma.
So, already glad to call the honor debt completely fulfilled among themselves, the clan prepared a celebration and the duo left to go claim Ranma for the party (and administer the cure), while behind them the Kuonji patriarch ordered Genma's rather spooky severed head sealed in salt inside of a stone barrel (actually a section of concrete pipe with capped ends, which was what they could afford), covered in spirit wards drawn by a miko in the family and thrown in the sea off the side of a deep sea fishing boat that owed them a favor.
OoOoO
Back at the film studio an unusual stalemate had erupted, with the youma unable to make significant direct physical attacks on the Scouts because of the constant interposition of Ranma's lightning cat defending them. But the cat was unable to destroy the metal spike-studded demon that had grown blades all over its form to protect it from the feline's teeth and claws. They could both injure the other and heal from those wounds, but finishing the other off was outside their power.
Miukyo had vanished as a good ninja should when the youma turned its attention on her, and the Scouts were collectively too exhausted to muster much of an offense outside of a real crisis direct on their persons. They lobbed the occasional energy attack, which the youma often evaded just as they escaped the return volleys it shot off at them.
Basically, the side to receive reinforcements the fastest would triumph, and while Nephlite was not normally in the habit of reinforcing youma assaults he could not secure the energy gained until that youma returned successful, and the things were not programmed to retreat from a fight. No, whoever had created the demons had granted them traits much like their controllers - barely sane and vindictive to a fault.
The quickest, best way to recover any youma was to allow it destroy it opponents. Anything else risked destroying the youma, as once they had prey they didn't know how to let go, and making them do so often required breaking them, which would dissipate the energy they'd gathered and destroy the whole point.
Youma just wouldn't let go until any target that dared to fight them was dead, or so badly drained as to be utterly defeated (in truth, youma were so simple minded they often had trouble telling the difference).
No, Tensie was staying on scene until the fight got resolved, one way or another. It wasn't a smart tactical decision, but no one yet had accused any youma of brilliance.
OoOoO
Luna was running, along with Serena and one of the Ranmas (before he destroyed them all), to the film studio to go rescue the Scout of Fire, when she paused upon seeing a certain green symbol flash into being on the forehead of a young brown-haired girl with a long ponytail as she reacted in surprise to the rapid passage of Ranma and Sailor Moon.
"Sailor Jupiter!" the cat called out in shocked recognition.
She was blinked at by a startled and very pretty brunette.
"Here! Take this pen! The lives of your fellow Scouts may be in danger!" The black cat performed a twirl and flip, courtesy presenting the transformation object to the very shocked young lady.
Not yet saying a word, still wondering if some boy hadn't put something in her pixie sticks recently eaten at the arcade, the girl accepted the transformation pen and blinked at it, once, twice, three times...
"Now, hold it high above your head, and call out, Jupiter Power!" Luna advised.
OoOoO
Reinforcements soon arrived for both sides.
Nephlite came personally to see what was the hold-up, while several parties of those friendly to the Sailor Scouts arrived near-simultaneously.
"Ah! AH! AAAHHHH!!!!" The Dark General cried out as nearly a dozen arrows fitted with moonstone tips tore effortlessly through his shield and, if not for the armor value of his uniform, probably would have fatally pincushioned him. As it was, roughly ten of them went knuckle-deep through those protective fabrics and into his body, while one slashed a cheek and the last completely pierced through his left hand, which he'd used to shield his eye from the arrow, which would have penetrated his brain and instantly killed him.
Miukyo smirked and then vanished to go off and create new arrows.
In response to this outrage, the Dark General pulled out and flung aside those that had stuck in him while summoning an extra thirty youma to punish those who'd dare to defile his person.
Now there is a substantial difference in combat effectiveness between an energy-engorged youma and one that wasn't. Seeing as how Nephlite's newest batch weren't even prepped for combat, the difference was roughly the same as a modern jet fighter that had fuel and armaments and one that didn't.
The first is a terrifying force of destruction, and the other an expensive lawn ornament. However, until they started doing stuff they looked the same, so the difference wasn't immediately apparent to those who faced them.
"Film Studios are for making wonderful romantic movies so that young girls can have dreams of their futures!" Came an impassioned voice from atop the compound wall, and many cameras swiveled to catch the irate princess going through the gestures that activated her suite of defensive enchantments, over and above the usual base minimums the other Scouts enjoyed. "For daring to stand against those dreams, I, Sailor Moon, will punish you, in the name of the Moon!"
And from that windup, she delivered, "Moon Tiara Magic!"
For Serena, during the time this speech took, she went from facing one youma and a Dark General to thirty-one and a wounded general. She noted, in her moment of releasing her attack, how the numbers had changed and would have flipped if not for the necessity of picking a target.
As it was, the Moon Tiara flew out on a wild swing and cut half a dozen of the newly arrived youma in twain, dusting them and restoring Serena's confidence before her jewelry returned to her hand.
This same attack inspired renewed confidence in the rest of the Scouts, and they let out a barrage in all directions that cut the newly arrived demons down to by another twelve.
The Nekoken used this moment to drive an attack into Tensie, forcing that youma back as they both gave and received wounds to the other. However, that attack was soon joined by the arrival of Tuxedo Mask, and the balance of the fight shifted.
However, the previously romantic warrior's attack form was somewhat... odd.
"Uhm," the newly called Sailor Jupiter appeared, with Luna, on the wall beside the dumpling headed Sailor Moon and stared at the scene before her. "Why is that guy in formal wear moving around on all fours and yowling like a cat?"
Sailor Moon sucked on the end of her finger. "Luna? Why is Tuxedo Mask acting like that? I mean, WE don't have to start moving around that way, do we?"
"And show off our panties to everyone nearby?!" Mars was outraged, having only just regrouped with the others on the wall. "Forget it, if that's the case then I'm going to quit."
"It's just not proper," Mercury agreed, also sucking on her fingertip, and glancing back over to Mars, who'd both turned her back and folded her arms, as if to say that her statement was final.
"Oh my," Luna sighed, ignoring this to stare and blush at the scene before her. "I never realized how sexy Tuxedo Mask was before now."
All five Scouts sweatdropped.
(AN: And people say there's nothing new left to do! Can you believe that?)
"You guys don't do anything... weird, do you?" Venus asked nervously, only to receive four very fervently shaken heads in reply.
"I have no idea why Tuxedo Mask is doing that," Sailor Moon declaimed, then her eyes expanded to tea cup size as she watched him cut off the youma's arm with a set of insubstantial energy claws. "I have no idea how he is doing that! But there's no way I'm going to do the same in this skirt!"
"Neither am I," both Mercury and Mars agreed, settling the fears of the other two, who let out steam-puff sighs of relief over this revelation.
"Actually, we've got ourselves another protector who is very good at supporting us in these types of circumstances," Mercury supplied helpfully, typing away at her keypad, visor already in place. "In fact, he should be arriving just about... now!"
Two blurs sped past the Sailors' position of relative safety, colliding with the youma currently milling around the studio grounds looking for victims (who knew better than to wander onto a strange set while it was filming, even if the usual notices hadn't been posted, so were consequently staying out of the way and substantially reducing the available target profile).
Between Hiten Mitsurugi's godlike speed, the deadly force of their blows, the weak defenses of their opponents, and the ability to destroy five targets in one swing, it seemed that the twin blurs didn't even slow down while destroying Nephlite's entire pool of youma reinforcements.
Then the pair darted forward through a host of launched spikes, parrying every last one as they lunged within range and fired off a host of vacuum blades that shot off toward the empowered youma that was currently engaged in combat with the two disparate felines (one, composed of an element, the other clad in elaborate formal wear) and impacted on the creature, splintering spikes and defensive armor to beat apart its defenses and cripple it, rendering it vulnerable and helpless for the cats to then finish it off.
Anything Goes was a good style, adaptable to nearly any circumstance, but it wasn't designed to kill. Hiten Mitsurugi, on the other hand, was. However, the deadly art was noted for its reliance on a sword, while the armored and spike-studded youma they had only just destroyed had already demonstrated an ability to control other's weapons when said weapons got used against it. So the pair of newly arrived martial artists had simply treated that as any other ability or technique and worked around it, resorting to other attacks to defeat it, and succeeded.
Nephlite was, needless to say, extremely angry at the destruction of Tensie. But he had nothing to gain by staying around now that both the youma and its stolen energy was lost. Plus, he was staring in the face of a good dozen vacuum blades and a full suite of the Sailor Scout's magical attacks headed his way, so he disappeared with a foul expression on his face, not having time to vow dreadful revenge upon his enemies.
With a disdainful snort, Ranma and Miranko cam to a halt and sheathed their swords with matching clicks as those dreadful weapons settled into their scabbards.
"Oooh!!" A newly called Sailor Jupiter nearly swooned with joy over having such a hunk (the guy) on her team.
Maybe he could show her some moves?
Perhaps not very surprisingly, several other blushing Sailor Scouts were thinking along nearly identical lines. Amy was blushing the rosiest of them all as she decided to go traipsing down the lane of thought that started with the words of his father about possibly marrying them, or on a more personal note - her.
Ranma instantly got surrounded by a gaggle of magical girls who were all very eager to congratulate him on such an impressive victory. The fact that Miranko had participated as an equal partner in that got conveniently ignored, and if a reassuring hand got laid on his arms, back, shoulder, or wherever as part of that positive reinforcement, and just happened to feel up those wonderfully rock-hard muscles, well, who is to say that was wrong?
Every girls' gotta have a hunk, right? I mean, they just wouldn't be complete without a prime chunk of man to ogle in their lives...
... and Tuxedo Mask was proving he had astonishing flexibility by licking himself in public, now that the fight was over.
Down on the ground beside them, a blind Chinese boy was already demonstrating the rush of energy-returned by the youma's destruction as he sat up and started blinking,
"Ranma... and Ranma?!??" Mousse reached into his robes and pulled out a spare pair of glasses, adjusting them on his face as he had trouble believing his eyes. Was he seeing double now? But then why was one of them in girl form?
"I am the wife of Ranma Hiko, 14th master of the Hiten Mitsurugi style of ultrasonic sword techniques, which cannot fail to kill an opponent." Miranko answered, proud to be able to use that line at last.
"Ah! Now there's two of them!" Mousse yelped in dismay before passing out from the stress, falling back over with a 'thud.'
Ranma himself was bent over, checking for residue or other magical traces that would help him better understand this foe, when a pair of orange boots stepped into his field of vision, tracing up to reveal the face of a gorgeous blonde.
OoOoO
Author's Notes:
I'd like to thank Howard the Grum for his excellent works of fiction, and for the privilege of reading those. It has definitely served as inspiration.
Something about this chapter just didn't want to come together. But oh well, now we are hopefully past that part and can go on to more silly goodness without delay!