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Chapter 49: Hollywood Babylon Part 1

How long does the occasional drive take? Maybe, ten to twenty minutes? Half an hour if traffic is heavy? Well, it took us forty minutes to get back to the motel after what happened after Madison's apartment. I'm not sure if it was because Dean was driving slowly or because everyone was preoccupied by the sirens driving past us in the other direction; and we all knew where they were heading. Or at least we think we knew. I didn't like to think that. I kept picturing some type of robbery, like the one we participated in, or a wild fire; which happened in California more than I liked to hear about.

The music wasn't on. I think everyone's ears still hurt after the single gunshot heard throughout the small apartment. Sam was in the backseat, a sniffling and crying mess; trying not to be obvious but the silence was letting Dean and I hear everything. I wanted to get into the backseat with him and, I don't know, do something. But Sam hardly let Dean and I touch him as we dragged him out of the room and back to the car, so I figured me sitting back there was out.

Dean was just driving the car. He looked worn, like a shirt that had been worn too many times and put through too many rinse cycles. He looked extremely tired too and I wanted to touch him, stroke his thigh or something while he drove. But comforting him felt weird, especially since it was the youngest Winchester who needed the comfort but wouldn't take it. He was a stubborn little boy when it came to things like that. Dean was a hardass too when it came to emotions that were so much harder to deal with. Anger, lust, happiness was one thing. But God forbid, look out when either of the Winchesters were upset. You could do nearly nothing. It was only recently, maybe a year ago, when Dean had started to open up to me. Letting me see when he was upset and trying to let me fix it. I'm guessing the closeness of our relationship had done that.

I was trying not to cry while just looking out the window. I kept hearing the gunshot in my head, kept picturing Sam crying as he pulled the trigger, the ache in his heart as he watched Madison fall to the ground. The blood spattering everywhere; on the white floor and the cream colored couch. I put a hand over my stomach and took a deep and calming breath, settling anything that might start. It had started to rain as we left Madison's apartment; like the sky was sympathizing for Sam. It was nearly pouring now, the pattering of rain sounding like little rocks falling on the Impala. There were streaks of water down the windows and it was blurring all the images of houses and trees as we drove past them. Everything was warped; even without the rain helping it along.

Dean finally pulled into the parking lot and parked the car as close to the entrance as he could. As soon as he turned the engine off, Sam bolted from the car and into the pouring rain like he thought the car was going to explode. I winced as he slammed the door shut and glanced at Dean.

He looked at me and gently ran a hand through my hair, pulling me towards him so he could kiss my forehead. "Here, put this over you."

He handed me the leather jacket and I said nothing as I put it over my head and we both got out of the car, running to our room. The door was left open, I'm guessing by a very wet Sam. As we came into the room he was already leaning against the headboard, downing a bottle of scotch.

Dean sighed, shaking off the rain and sniffed. "Dude, come on, bottle down. You know that's not going to help."

Dean tried getting the bottle off him as I laid the leather jacket over a chair to dry. The drops of rain were falling off the leather and piling on the floor. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and grimaced; the back of my jeans were soaked.

"Just leave me alone, Dean." Sam warned, almost flailing as he tried to get away from Dean.

Dean stood up from leaning over Sam, sighing as he watched Sam take another huge swig. He wasn't even wincing from the liquid going down his throat; burning the inside of him. He was enjoying it. Dean shook his head and peeled off his wet button down, throwing it on the bed. His grey t-shirt was partly soaked through but not as wet as the other shirt. I saw his black briefs peek above his brown belt and jeans and sighed as I went to hang the shirt up in the bathroom to dry.

I grabbed the shirt on the way to the bathroom and wrung out the shirt in the sink, the cinnamon tainting my hands like lotion. I spread out the shirt along the shower curtain rail and ran a hand through my hair.

"Jesus Christ!" I heard Dean holler and I rushed into the other room, seeing Dean bend over and clutch his nose.

"What the hell?" I asked, coming over to where Dean was hunched over. "What happened?" I grabbed Dean's shoulders and lifted him. His nose was bleeding and I looked at Sam who just shrugged at me and leaned over to get the remote for the TV. I scoffed as Sam flipped the TV on and leaned back with another swig.

"Sam here smacked me with the end off the bottle as I tried to wrench it away from him." Dean sat on the other bed and twitched his nose. I grabbed a washcloth from the kitchen sink and put ice in it. I brought the ends of the washcloth up and put a rubber band around it to hold it in place and handed it to him. "Thanks."

"Is it just bleeding?" I asked, wanting to make sure Sam didn't hit hard enough to break it.

Dean sighed and sniffed. "Yeah."

"And that's why you should have just let him go. He's upset, let him drink a little." I felt like an idiot talking about Sam like he wasn't here, but he was watching TV and drinking the scotch like we weren't there so I figured it was fine.

"So he can wake up at some God awful hour and puke it all up?" Dean wisecracked. His voice as bruised as his nose was. "Yeah, that'll make him all better."

"I didn't say that." I said quietly and watched Dean pull back the washcloth, blood blotching a small section of the cloth. I ran a hand down his back and I felt him shiver at the contact. "You should get out of these wet clothes." Dean just nodded and I went to get him a pair of sweats and another t-shirt. "Here, go change. I'll get the bottle off of Sam."

"No, don't try and touch him." Dean said and stood, he was making Sam sound like a puppy with rabies. "I don't want him hitting you too, because then I will get that bottle off of him. And it's not going to be pleasant."

I nodded. "Alright." I replied quietly.

"You want get a shower with me?" He asked and put down the homemade ice pack down on the nightstand.

I looked up at his hazel eyes and I left a small peck on his lips. "I'm tired, I think I'm just gonna turn in."

Dean placed a kiss on the side of my mouth. "Alright, I'll join you in a few minutes."

I smiled and watched him walk past me and into the bathroom. I turned around to see Sam glare at me and take another long sip. I sighed and went around to Dean and my duffel. I grabbed a pair of sweats and a small pink t-shirt that I only wore to bed. I wasn't much of a pink person. Red was one thing but I liked the blue color family the best. I think it did a lot for my eyes.

"You," Sam slurred and I looked up at him. "Have no idea…" He trailed off and took another drunken sip. He was beginning to miss his mouth.

I went over to his duffel and got him his own pajama's out. While Dean was in the bathroom I was going to help him change and get that fucking bottle off him; regardless if he accidently hit me or not. Seeing him like this was beginning to really hurt.

"I have no idea about what, Sam?" I asked gently and sat next to him. He wasn't threatened with me in his drunken state like he had been with Dean. I placed his clothes on my lap and held up the shirt, vanilla curling off of it and seeping into my pores. I heard a commercial for a new set of garden rakes start to play and Sam looked at me sadly. "You want a new t-shirt? You're pretty soaked from the rain."

"I don't care."

"Come on, can you just change clothes?" I asked. "I don't want you to be cold."

He seemed like he was processing each of my words like I was speaking a different language. He was taking each word and running it through a small translator in his head. He sighed and put the bottle down on the nightstand with a harsh thud that made me afraid the bottle was going to crack.

He grabbed the shirt off me and haphazardly took his wet shirt off and threw it at me. I caught it and placed it on the floor. He was having trouble putting his head through the right hole of the shirt and I gently took his arms and stopped him from trying to force his head in the arm hole of the shirt.

"Hold on." I said and adjusted the black shirt and pulled the shirt down over his head. He sighed and bit his lower lip as he pushed his arms through the shirt. "Can you do the pants yourself?"

He nodded and took them from my lap. I was proud, even though his judgment was slightly skewed, that he wasn't taking advantage of my helping and did the pants himself. I stood up and turned around as I heard him undo his belt and unzip his pants. I felt the bed dip and bounce slightly against the back of my knees as he arched as his back and slid the pants off.

"Done." He said after a few moments. I turned and he was laying his back against the headboard again, looking drunk and heartbreakingly sad. I took his clothes and laid them out on the sink in the mini kitchen. He hadn't tried to get the bottle again and I wondered if I could take it away from him without him noticing. He seemed pretty buzzed as I sat next to him on the bed again.

"I hate you." Sam said after a moment and I turned to look at him.

"Do you?" I asked slowly and he nodded. "Well that hurts, Sam." And it did. It did a lot. It was funny how much of a truth serum scotch could be.

"Do you want to know why?" He asked me and turned to look at me with tears in his eyes. I nodded slowly, my throat sore from my own tears building. He came closer to me and shook his head. I sat up and he sat up right along with me, his nose nearly touching mine. Tears slowly built like dew drops on his eyelids and he took a shaky breath, causing them to cascade down his face. "Because you get to be happy."

My face filled with sympathy and he scoffed, I could tell that he didn't want pity from me. I ran my hand through his hair and gently massaged his scalp. I heard the shower turn on and I knew I could do this without getting shit from Dean. That's not what was needed right now; what Sam needed right now. I leaned up on my knees and kissed his forehead, my lips lingering on his skin.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered and Sam shook his head, more tears escaping his eyes. I gently coaxed him into my arms and he hooked himself around me, burying his face into my shoulder.

I rubbed his back and tried not to flinch every time he let out a sob into my shoulder. It may have taken him twenty minutes to calm down and just let sleep take him. But finally it did and I gently put him to bed, covering him with covers to keep him warm because a human body couldn't. I heard Dean come out of the bathroom and just watch me for a moment; I sniffled and took the scotch bottle over to the sink. I slammed it into the sink and the bottle shattered.

"Hey," Dean said suddenly, coming over to where I was. I turned and threw myself against his chest, silently begging him to touch me. "What's wrong?" He asked concerned and wrapped his arms around my back. I felt the tears breach my eyelids again and I cried quietly against his chest. I cried for Sam and how alone he was, for how guilty he made me feel and for what he had said to me.

I didn't want to tell him what was wrong. Honestly, I was just selfishly happy. I was happy that I had him and no one else did. I was happy I had him for the baby and for me and that when I cried he was here to comfort me. I was happy he was there for when I was angry, to joke around and to make me feel insanely good. It wasn't fair that Sam couldn't feel this with someone and I was angry with myself that my best friend was so unhappy and I could do nothing about it.

"You gonna talk to me?" He asked gently and kissed my head. I just shook my head and I gripped the back of his shirt. He sighed and in one swoop he picked me up in his arms, taking me over to our bed and gently setting me down. I crossed my legs on the bed and watched him kneel on the floor, one hand on my thigh as the other grabbing my clothes on the end of the bed. "I see you got the Almighty Scotch Binger to bed."

I smiled but my lower lip quivered and it instantly faded from my face. I sighed and tried calming my tears down. It was just an overbuilt of emotions from this stupid case and Madison and my hormones and then what Sam said. I didn't need to do this to Dean. He was tired and had his own things to worry about. I was being selfish.

"You want me to undress you?" He asked gently, his voice making Sam shift in his sleep and move onto his stomach.

I glanced at Sam and then at Dean and nodded, tears still jumping off my eyelashes and landing on the wet material of my jeans. "I'm gonna get the bed all damp." I said annoyingly and moved my legs so Dean could get the jeans off.

"I'll go after them first then." He smiled again and I couldn't help but give him a small, soft smile. He was trying so hard to make it better. He gently unbuttoned my jeans and leaned into kiss my stomach as he pulled them down. I put my hand on his shoulder as I stood momentarily so he could pull them over and past my thighs. I sat back down and he sighed, throwing the jeans over into the corner of the room. The new wash pile. "I was thinking girl today. You want to hear the names?"

I nodded and I knew he was trying to make me feel better and comfortable before he asked me what was wrong again. He knew this was the way I worked sometimes. "Of course." I said quietly.

"Alright, well, I like Ella and Emily."

"Happen to be reading through the E's in the baby book lately?"

Dean chuckled and smiled. "I may have been thumbing through them, yeah."

"I haven't had a lot of time to do that." I admitted softly and embarrassingly. God, I was beginning to sound like I didn't even want a baby.

"Is that what was wrong?" He asked softly and pulled my shirt off. He rubbed up and down my arms and kissed my shoulder. His nose was cold against my skin.

"Are you cold?" I asked suddenly, ignoring his question.

He ran a hand down my hair and pushed some of it behind my ear as he slipped the shirt over my head. I pushed my arms through the sleeves and sighed and Dean pulled my hair out from under the shirt. I reached under the shirt and pulled my coin out as well, it gently sitting on the shirt.

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He said gently. "You tired?"

I shook my head no. "Not really. Not in the mood to sleep. I'm more in the mood for a huge chocolate cake and a really sappy love movie."

Dean smiled and sat next to me on the bed. "Well good luck with getting a good movie station on that shit piece." He pointed to the TV. "But I think we might have some left over chocolate ice cream." I grinned and Dean bumped his shoulder against mine. "That's what I better see." Dean joked and I let out a small laugh. "A smile. Otherwise I was going to start tickling."

"No you weren't." I kissed his cheek.

"You better believe I was thinking about it…actually…" Before I could back up or even think Dean's hands grabbed my waist and tickled up and down my sides. I giggled loudly but I wasn't really worried about waking Sam. Sam was gonna be out for at least another three hours before his stomach decided it hated him.

"Stop! Stop, please! Dean!" Dean chuckled and stopped for a moment. I sighed heavily, bending over his lap. My chest hit his thighs and I felt him rub a hand over my back. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the back of my head.

"I have an idea that's better than a movie."

I leaned up off of him and smiled. "And what's that?"

"Ice cream and the baby book."

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, pushing my tongue into his mouth. He responded, putting both his arms around my waist and holding me tightly to him. His mouth moved against mine and I nearly moaned as his tongue slid over mine with some kind of gentleness that no one else could possibly possess.

I pulled back and smiled. "I would love that Dean."

Dean pecked my nose. "Good. Get up so I can pull the sheets back."

I sighed and got up off the bed as Dean pulled the sheets back. I made my way around the side of Sam's bed, looking for the remote to turn the TV off. It was annoying and loud and on a stupid commercial for a clothes detergent. I glanced around the comforter and then saw the remote tucked under Sam's body. I wrenched it out and pressed the power off. I glanced at Sam and shook my head, putting the remote down on his nightstand.

"I hate you."

I looked at Dean and he smiled gently at me as he finished off with the bed. "You gonna come over here, Core?"

"Because you get to be happy."

"Babe, you okay?" I shook my head and rounded the bed and kissed his cheekbone.

"I'm okay." I said and kissed him one more time before I piled into our bed.

"Right…" He said slowly and turned around.

"Look, Dean, I don't want to talk about it right now." I said softly and fixed the pillows so we could lean against them. I pulled the blankets up over my chest and looked at him. "Please, can we just…do the baby book thing?" Dean sighed and nodded. I took his sigh out of annoyance. "Unless you don't want to."

He nearly hesitated as he sat down on the bed. "I never said I didn't. I just wish you'd tell me what was wrong."

"I don't want to talk about it." Why did everything have to be ruined? A normal life, Sam's relationships, even little happy moments with Dean. They just all had to be shot down the drain, huh?

"Yeah, I get that, but why?"

I shook my head. "Because Dean, okay? Because Sam was drunk and he said things he didn't mean."

"Like what, what did he say to you?" Dean asked. He seemed really jumpy. I had half a mind to not tell him but I guess I couldn't go back no. I had already cried on his fucking shoulder.

"He just uhm…he told me he hated me." I said softly and Dean's face filled with sympathy. I wondered if his face resembled mine after Sam had said the same thing to me. "And even though I knew he was drunk…it hit hard." My voice was breaking in random places and I looked at Dean's hands as clouds of tears filled my vision. God, I was so sick of crying.

"Baby…" Dean was using pet names because he felt bad for the tears. In all reality I knew he was angry with Sam for drinking the scotch and then saying things to cause the tears. But I guess this was easier than waking Sam up and doing something drastic like punching him.

"He said he hated me because I was happy." I swallowed a sob and Dean crawled onto the bed and towards me, pulling me into his arms. "And I am happy Dean. Between you and this baby, I'm so happy."

I hugged him tightly and pushed my nose into his shoulder. I felt Dean smile and rub my neck and back. "And I'm happy that you're happy, you know that right?" I smiled and nodded. I took a deep breath of cinnamon and kissed his shoulder. "So," He pulled back and stroked both sides of my face with his thumbs. "Still up for that baby book and ice cream?"

I nodded and he leaned close to place a soft feather kiss on my cheekbone. He jumped up from the bed and I smiled as I watched him get the ice cream. I wiped my hands under my eyes and sighed.

"Thanks Dean." I said softly and Dean turned and smiled. He threw a spoon at me and I smirked as it landed right on my lap.

"You're welcome, brat. But you know as well as I do that you don't need to thank me."

I shrugged and settled back down into the covers, waiting for Dean to grab the ice cream and the baby book.

"Did you start book marking things?" I asked, seeing yellow tabs sticking out on some of the pages.

He smiled and handed me the bowl that held two scoops of chocolate ice cream. I smiled and dug in, putting a small spoonful in my mouth. It was amazing how chocolate could calm my entire system, kind of just like how Dean did.

"Yeah," He crawled into the bed, legs wrapping around my own as he pulled the sheets over his stomach. His one arm came around my shoulders and my back snuggled down into the crook of his arm. "I kind of went crazy with the sticky notes."

He looked embarrassed and I smiled as he opened the book and thumbed through the pages. He set the book on his stomach and I sighed, taking another bite of ice cream. "Want to start with girls or boys first?"

Dean turned his head and smiled at me. "Girls."

"Okay…let's start with C."

"Why can't we start with A? It being the beginning of the alphabet and all."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he smirked. "Because I want C."

"Fine. Rude," He joked. "But fine." He flipped to the page and I saw a yellow bookmark.

"What did you end up liking?"

"Uhm," He pulled the tab back. "I liked Cali and Cara."

"I really like Cara…what about S?"

"Are we just letter jumping?"

I smiled and sat up to place the bowl on the nightstand near my side. I scrunched my eyebrows and looked around the room. Three nightstands? Really? I curled back into Dean, warmth of heated cinnamon filling me. I laid down and snuggled my face onto his arm, my nose pushing into the side of his chest. He kissed my head and pulled the sheets up over my shoulders.

"S?" He asked and I nodded. "Do you know the alphabet?" I poked his side and let out a small giggle. "I'm just wondering. Because you went from C to S…"

"Have any for S?" I cut him off and I kissed his chin.

"As a matter a fact, I do…" He scrunched his eyes at the page. "Shelley's cute."

"It sounds like a beach name."

"And that's so bad?" Dean asked and I shrugged.

"No, but then I feel like we have to tell her a crazy beach story and that's how we thought of the name."

"Or we could just tell her the truth. That we picked her name because it was cute." Dean countered.

I scoffed, like it was a big horrible idea and Dean smiled knowing I was joking with him. "Well we can't do that, what kind of parents would we be?"

He smirked. "Right… your turn. I pick the letter and you pick the names."

"Okay."

"J for girls."

"Jessica, Jennifer…" I trailed off, brain not exactly working anymore as Dean leaned his lips down to kiss my nose. "Way to be a distracter."

"Sorry." He whispered.

I smiled and leaned up to kiss his lips. "No, you're not."

I felt him lean the book down on his lap and push his lips against my lips again. "No, I guess I'm not."

"You think Sam will be okay?" I asked quietly and Dean nodded.

"Sam will be fine, one way or another he'll be okay. We need a case."

"I'll look for one in the morning." I threw my hand around Dean's waist and buried my face into the crook of his arm.

"That…" He jerked me up and let out a short laugh. I looked at him confused. "That tickles."

"I didn't know you were ticklish." I said slowly, some sort of gleam in my eye that I knew Dean had caught.

"I'm usually not. Some spots though…can't be ignored."

I raised my eyebrows and kissed his nose. "Can I find them?" I asked, sitting up.

Dean licked his lips and just nodded, pushing the covers back. "I have three."

I threw my one leg over Dean's waist and straddled him. I gently moved my hands up his chest. I took his hands and raised them above his head and set them down on the pillow.

"Kinky…" Dean smirked. "First the mention of public sex and now this? You're just a Goddamn turn on Andrea Core."

I giggled and gave him a hard kiss on the lips. I pulled back and smiled. He licked his lips again and I nearly moaned. They looked red, wet and swollen; the last two descriptions relating to another part of my body. I sighed as I sat up again, smiling slowly.

"Well, I already know one is here." I said and gently poked him near his armpit. He inhaled sharply and tried to bring his arm down to cover the area. "Let's see if I can find the other two."

I trailed my hands down his chest again and he moved his arms down from above his head, I'm guessing to close off his armpits in case I went for them again. I watched his face as I moved my hands down to his stomach. I gently started to trail my fingers against his abdomen.

"You're giving me chills." He said and closed his eyes. "But that's not ticklish."

I sat back and thought a moment. Main ticklish spots: armpits, feet, stomach, neck…eh, I wasn't too sure on that one. I'd kissed him there a million times but nothing seemed to tickle him. I went for his sides, just above his pelvis bone and dug my fingers there, moving up and down.

He jerked off the bed and let out a loud laugh. "Okay, okay!" I didn't stop for a moment, getting a thrill of making him jerk like that. No to mention he was nearly buckling against my throbbing heat and it was just jump starting my passion and lust all over again. "You found it! Stop, please."

I pulled back and grinned as his breathing was a bit heavy. I laid down on his chest and kissed him again. His hands ran over my back and over my butt, grabbing the skin there as I slid my tongue in his mouth and licked the inside of his cheek.

"Okay, I got one more." I said softly and kissed his nose.

Dean sniffed and watched me look around his body. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. "Don't think you're getting a clue, brat. I hate being tickled."

"You love it and know it, jerk." I said with a smirk and felt him stroke the skin above my sweatpants.

"You know what?" Dean asked and leaned up. His arm encircled my back and he flipped us over. He was now on top of me, his pelvis crushing against mine. His one leg was in between mine and I smirked, moving my one knee against his crotch. Dean smirked and closed his eyes. "Actually, that was my idea."

"You just want to distract me so I don't find that third ticklish spot."

I felt Dean snake his other arm, the one that wasn't still behind my back, in-between us and into my pants. He reached right into my panties and started gently going through the folds with his fingers, massaging a certain spot that made me softly moan and bite my lower lip.

"You gonna start complaining?" He asked.

I wrapped my one hand around the back of his neck and gently entwined my fingers with that material that held that charm he always wore and pulled his lips down to meet mine.

"No," I said calmly, after a few moments of intense kissing. I was surprisingly calm for what Dean was doing to me. I felt his body shift down as he entered a finger in me. Slow and teasing. "Not at all." I managed. His wrist moved up and down as he pushed and pulled his finger into me. I groaned and closed my eyes.

He leaned down and kissed my neck. "You want more?" He asked softly and I nodded, swallowing thickly as some sort of haze covered my half lidded eyelids. I nearly squirmed as he entered two fingers, twisting each inside of me.

I grabbed Dean's shoulders and squeezed him. "Dear God, Dean." I muttered, nearly goddamn prayed.

He smirked and as his fingers found a rhythm, his thumb danced over a very sensitive nub. "I knew this was a better idea." He said but he sounded hazy, the room was hazy as my breathing quickened against his chest. "You're facial expressions are amazing…" Dean trialed off and kissed my neck again.

I felt my orgasm build in me; like a roaring freight chain. From my chest all the way down to my legs and then all the way back to where Dean's hand was. It happened suddenly, Dean touched me in the exact perfect way I needed to be touched. I bucked my hips and my chest came crashing into his. I screamed, him not having enough time to cover my mouth with his hand or mouth. I collapsed against the bed again and closed my eyes, whimpering and breathing widely.

I heard Sam turn in his sleep. "Shut the goddamn TV off." He muttered, and threw his arm over his face.

Dean chuckled and pulled his hand out of my pants. "Apparently, Sam wants you to shut up."

"I…" I cut myself off and sighed, chest begging for air.

"Shh…" Dean said softly, laying down next to me and taking me into his arms. "You don't have to talk."

I turned on my side and pushed my face into his side, closing my eyes and taking slow calming breaths. "Good, because I'm not sure forming words is exactly something I remember how to do."

Dean smirked and kissed my forehead. "Want to head to bed?"

I nodded and I felt him lean up and turn the night table lamp off. My eyes were closed but I could tell the entire room had been plunged into darkness. Dean sighed, pulling the covers up and over me and fixing the pillows so they were straight down on the bed.

"Goodnight, babe." Dean said and rubbed my back.

I kissed his side and rubbed my face against him tenderly. "Goodnight, Dean."

I was asleep in a matter of seconds.

O0o0o0o0

When I woke up, Dean was still snoring underneath me. I leaned up off him and glanced at the time, when I saw it was 10:30 I rolled my eyes and plopped my head back down on his chest.

"Too early." I muttered and sighed, listening to Dean's heartbeat. I turned my head and looked at Sam's bed. But he wasn't there. I listened for anything in the bathroom, but heard nothing. He must have been up and showered and everything else. My stomach growled. I hoped he was getting breakfast of some kind.

I hated waking up before 12 or at least 11:30. Because I knew that once I was up, I was up and I could never take naps. Usually when I fell asleep in the car or at the laptop or whatever, it's usually because I'm extremely tired. I just conk out or go to sleep naturally. Which sucks if I wake up at 10:30 and want to go back to sleep. I felt Dean shift ever so slightly and mutter something under his breath about pie. I snickered and left a small kiss on his lips.

I tried pulling myself from bed, but half awake/half asleep Dean wouldn't let me. He groaned and made something that resembled an innocent whimper.

"Where are you going?" He asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes, but he didn't open them.

"I'm getting up, babe."

"No. You're not." I smiled as I felt his arm tighten around my waist.

"But I was going to get up and make you coffee." I placed a kiss on his nose and smiled again as he twitched it.

"I'd rather have you than coffee. Lay back down." I sighed and placed my head back on his chest, lying down until he at least fell back asleep. I wasn't trying to complain about this. I loved just laying on Dean. He was warm and he smelled good and hello, I loved him. But my back was starting to hurt for some god awful pregnant related reason and I was hungry. If Sam wasn't going to come back in twenty minutes I was going to find something to eat, and that's just all there was to it.

He adjusted himself again and for being half asleep, he was really sweet. He muttered 'I love you' and haphazardly kissed my head before he turned his head and started snoring again. I decided to wait until Sam came back before I got up again. I didn't want to hurt Dean's feelings by pulling back and trying to get back up so soon.

Sam came back a half an hour later, bagels and cream cheese in bags. I sat up and smiled at him as he shut the door and placed the bags down on the table.

"Hey," He greeted and looked over at Dean. "Still asleep?"

I nodded and gently peeled myself from Dean. I kissed his forehead as I grabbed one of my sweatshirts from my duffel. I shivered and placed it over my head.

"Dude, I love you for bringing me food."

Sam chuckled and sat down in one of the seats. I joined him, getting a bagel and cream cheese out of the plastics bags. "Well," He commented as he watched me. "Its not like I could bring food and you not notice it. I swear you God you have some sort of radar or something."

I glared at him and spread out the cream cheese over one of the bagels. I took a huge bite and nearly moaned. "I was so craving these. Thanks Sam."

He smiled and nodded. "You're welcome." I watched him as he absentmindedly rubbed his forehead with his one hands as he looked at the newspaper. He took a sip of the coffee he had bought and then resumed rubbing his head.

"Hangover pretty bad this time?" I frowned as he shrugged.

"Not as bad as others have been."

"Did you take anything for your head?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, two Tylenols this morning."

I smirked and wiped some cream cheese off my cheek. "Rough night, should have taken the whole bottle." I joked and then felt bad for it. "Sorry." I replied almost instantly.

Sam waved me off, even though I could tell thinking about last night hurt. Hell, who could blame him. I guess loving and killing someone might do that to a person.

"Speaking of last night…" Sam sighed. He ran his tongue in between his lips. "I'm sorry, Andy."

It wasn't a big deal and I played it off as such. "For what?"

"For what I said."

I shrugged. "A lot of things were said."

"I told you that I hated you." Sam said guiltily.

"That was among those things." I said it half heartedly but I tried to remain upbeat. He was drunk and he didn't mean it. A lot of things can be said while drunk and they could mean nothing. I had a few stories that I could definitely share to prove my point on that.

"Come on, don't do that." Sam said suddenly and before I could reply with a witty comment of, 'do what?' he answered it for me and cut me off. "Don't brush it off with a sarcastic comment and pretend I didn't hurt you when I know I did. I could see it in your eyes, Andy." I swallowed and put the bagel down. "I can see it right now."

"Okay, so what?" I asked. "Like you've never said things while drunk before. I know you didn't mean it."

Sam sighed and looked at Dean before he looked at me again. "No…you don't understand. I did mean it, Andy." My mouth twitched and I looked at him beyond hurt. "I mean, I did to some reasonable degree. And that's why I'm sorry."

"Reasonable degree?" I spat angrily. "That's how you fix it?"

Sam rubbed his forehead. "I'm trying to but, I mean, you have to understand where I'm coming from. What I had to go through yesterday and last night…"

"I don't care where you're coming from Sam!" I yelled, kind of hoping I would wake Dean. "If the tables were turned and I was alone and I went through what you went through I would never hate you. Ever." I heard Dean stir as I got up from the table. "I'm getting a shower." I slammed the bathroom door and sighed, bottom lip quivering and tears burning my eyes. Stupid fucking Sam Winchester.

I heard Dean ask Sam what was wrong and I heard no reply from Sam. A few moments later Dean was knocking on the door, gentle and just trying to get me to open up.

"Babe, hey come on, it's me." He tried and I shook my head, heading over to the sink to splash some water on my face. Ironic since I was getting a shower anyways. "What happened?"

"Ask Sam, he's so sure of everything." I replied cynically and then felt bad I was taking this out on Dean. He hadn't done anything, hell he was just trying to make everything better. But I was upset and beyond fucking pissed.

I don't think I would have been so mad if Sam would have said he hated my situation or something like that. Okay, fine. He hated the relationship I had with Dean and how it made me happy and how he couldn't find that to make himself happy. But he didn't say that. He said he hated me. Me, personally. I rolled my eyes. To some reasonable degree. Whatever. He either hated me or he didn't. There was no middle. Not in my book anyways.

I heard Dean and Sam have a short conversation but it was muffled because of the door. I could hear my name and at first all I heard was Dean asking Sam a lot of questions. But Dean didn't sound angry and Sam sounded upset. I sighed hearing someone, I knew it was Dean, approach the door again. "Andy, you gonna come out here?"

"No." I replied heatedly, anger making my throat constrict and tighten with unshed sobs.

"Please don't make me lock pick the door, babe." Dean tried pleading and I rolled my eyes. "Although if you're getting in the shower and half your clothes are off, I'll be happy to unlock this door."

I let out a small smile, knowing that's what he wanted. He knew he could get me to open the door that way. "Just…" I sighed, hoping this would work. "Give me a few minutes okay? I'm gonna get a shower."

"Uhm, can you let me in a little bit before that?" Dean asked, voice on the peak of whining. I rolled my eyes, I was trying to reasonable. Couldn't he at least just let me get my thoughts together so I could talk to Sam without the notion of pulling his hair out in my mind? I approached the door and opened it slightly.

"You can't wait, like ten minutes?" I asked, looking at him through the small crack. I heard Sam shift in his seat and my heart throbbed painfully in my chest.

Dean shook his head and motioned to the toilet. "I need to…"

My eyes widened and my mouth literally formed a small 'o'. "Oh!" I opened the door and Dean seemed to visibly relax. "Sorry, babe." I said and kissed his head as he switched places with me. He smiled softly and nodded, hurriedly closing the door.

I sighed and ran a hand down my face. Way to go, Andy. Way to show Dean that you love him. By nearly locking him out of the bathroom so his bladder could explode.

"He was really jumping out here." Sam replied with a smirk and I just nodded at him, sitting on the bed and facing the door until Dean came out. "You gonna stop talking to me?" I ignored him again and rolled my eyes. I heard him sigh and then get up from the table and sit next to me. "Hey," He bumped his hip with mine and I turned slowly to look at him; the amount of hurt he had caused visibly showing.

"What?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already." I answered him. His puppy fucking eyes were getting him no where. "You sound like a broken record."

I turned and looked at the bathroom door. If Dean didn't really have to pee and was making me do this with Sam on purpose, I was going to kill him. What part of, 'I needed ten minutes' didn't he understand?

"No, I mean, I just said everything wrong. It came out too quickly and that's not what I meant to say." I looked at him slowly and swallowed, waiting for him to continue. "Andy, you've been my best friend since we were little. We played hide and seek and cops and robbers and you made me play with the Barbie while you insisted on being an action figure for once." I smiled sadly and looked at his big strong hands resting on his knees. They were so much different from the little ones I used to know so well when I was six. "I'm sorry that my brain didn't catch up with my mouth, I never meant that I hated you specifically. Okay?"

I looked at the door and then back at him, right into his beautiful eyes past that shaggy hair of his. "You really hurt my feelings, Sam." I said softly and his eyes scrunched in guilt and empathy. "So therefore, there is only one way you can gain that apology I'm afraid."

"And that would be?"

I sighed and nodded. "I want one of your infamous Sam Winchester hugs and a chocolate cake." Sam burst out laughing and gathered me in his arms. I smirked and rubbed my face against his shoulder. "I'm afraid that's the only way you're going to get it." I mumbled.

I felt Sam smile and hold me tighter to him, his chin resting on the top of my head as he gently rubbed my back. I sighed into his embrace, letting the warmth and scent of Sam calm me. Yeah, this was a Sam Winchester hug ladies and gentlemen. I felt completely warm and he just…I don't know how he did it but he made me feel better. I didn't feel like crying anymore but maybe that was because I had fixed things with him.

I couldn't explain the difference between Sam and Dean's hugs and why they were so different. I guess it was, with Sam, his made me feel happy and like, those giddy little butterflies you get in your stomach when something really good happens. Dean's made me feel safe and loved; like he was some type of hero. Like he was trying to save me from all the bad things in the world. I guess it was something that you just had to feel. It was too hard to describe.

Sam pulled back and held my forearms for a moment and smiled. "Better?"

"A little. I still want that cake."

Sam smirked. "Oh, I don't doubt that. But I'm pretty sure I can make that happen. But you're um," I heard the sink run for a moment and then some spitting. I'm guessing Dean was brushing his teeth now, taking his merry old time. "Not mad at me anymore?"

"No, I understand where you're coming from." Sam nodded and Dean opened the door, drying his mouth and face on a towel. "But if you say you hate me one more time, I don't care if it's drunk or not, you're not coming back from that. Okay?" Dean smiled and Sam smiled slowly. "I don't care if you have four chocolate cakes for me." I looked at both of them. "What? I'm serious."

Sam ruffled my hair. "Yeah, yeah, go get a shower."

"Yeah, yeah, yourself." I muttered, fixing my hair and approaching Dean. I pushed him back into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Okay, pushy." Dean said looked at me as I leaned against the bathroom door. I cocked an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. "What?" He asked, smirking at my position.

I shook my head. "You never had to pee did you?"

Dean shook his head almost vigorously. "Yes, I did." He then blushed as he slowly walked towards me. He snaked his arms around my waist and smiled as he left a peck on my lips. "Just…not as bad as I may have let on."

"You're an asshole!" I smacked his chest and he chuckled, trying to kiss me again.

"That may be true, but just remember, I'm your asshole."

I giggled and didn't fight his lips as they overpowered my own. He bent my back and I was literally almost laying in his arms as he kissed me. "Right," I pulled back and pecked the bridge of his nose. "Like that's so great."

"Damn right it is." He joked. He pulled me up and I hugged him for a moment before I let go of him. "At least you fixed things."

"Yeah," I ran my hands over his back. "It's good to know that I can always do that with Sam."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "And we can't?"

I smirked and pecked his lips. "Didn't we just have a fight not too long ago? I thought that it was going to go on longer than it did."

"Yeah, but we fixed it."

"I guess, I just, things with Sam…it's never as bad like the fights are with you. The fights hurt more, I guess. You know what I mean?" Dean's eyes scrunched and he shook his head. "Like, I go through so much more with you. I love you a different way and because of that, the fights hurt more."

"That…doesn't sound good." Dean said softly and his strong, tanned, muscular arms squeezed around my waist.

"No, it's not supposed to be bad." I said with a slight chuckle to make him smile. To take that worried look off his face. "It just means that you mean so much to me." He smiled now; touched. "So that means when you say things sometimes, it hurts all the more. Am I making sense? Because in my head it makes total sense. But that doesn't mean it actually does." Dean let out a laugh and kissed my mouth, not letting me continue.

He held me close to him as he pulled his head back and I smiled at the warmness his kiss created. "It makes sense." He kissed my cheek. "And, I'm sorry if I really hurt your feelings a few days ago."

I nodded. "Well, I didn't tell you for an apology. But thank you." I smiled and pulled back to turn on the shower. I sighed and brought my shirt up over my head. Dean watched me and smirked as he saw the lace of my bra. "But you know how you could really make it up to me?"

Dean smiled slowly. "No, do tell."

And slipped my bra off as well. "Get in the shower with me."

Dean approached me slowly and kissed my neck, my bare chest hitting against his t-shirt. "Well, you don't have to try and persuade me. That's for damn sure."

I laughed and felt his lips graze over my neck and down to my shoulder. Luckily, we didn't have case yet. So we could take as long as we wanted to.

O0o0o0o0o0

"Is there a draft in here?" I asked, looking around the small diner. We had come here to eat lunch and okay, I was starving, but all I could focus on was the goddamn cold air I kept feeling. We were by a window, it was possible. But it felt like it was coming from behind me and causing goose bumps on my back and shoulders. I shivered and looked at Dean. "Seriously, is it just me?"

Dean smirked and shook his head as he leaned foreword. He struggled but eventually took his leather jacket off. As the busty slut of a waitress approached our table, she grinned at Dean. Dean hesitated and set is jacket down in front of him, giving her a polite smile that made me want to vomit.

"Hi." She said and smiled and Sam raised his eyebrows at her. Dear God, who cursed me to be surrounded by men all my life? "What can I get you?"

"A bucket to unleash vomit into." I replied very softly and very sarcastically as I looked over the menu.

Dean cleared his throat, obviously trying to cover up my remark. "Two coffees and a…" He looked over at me. "What do you want?"

I smiled politely at the girl but felt the need to pull her hair out of her skull. "Can I get a beer, please."

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Nice try, Ms. Happy Hour." I waited for it. "She's pregnant. She'll have a juice please." The waitress seemed unnerved by the statement and jotted down the order and didn't smile at Dean as she left the table to get the drinks. Dean turned to look at me and I gave him an innocent smile. "What the hell was that?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"Nothing? You just asked for a beer. Do you not remember that you didn't gain this weight from not working out and eating a ton of Twinkies before bedtime?"

"First off, I hate Twinkies jackass. And second, now the waitress won't smile at you. She put the pieces together about my pregnancy and since I'm sitting next to you…" I shrugged again and looked over my menu and Sam snorted.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh you jealous girl." I glared at him. "She may just think you're my sister."

"She better not." I mumbled and thought about getting a cheeseburger to eat. I was hungry but then again, I always seemed to be hungry. "So do we have a case?" I asked Sam and he nodded, clicking on something on his laptop.

"Well, I found something but, I'm not sure if it's reliable."

"What is it?" Dean asked and I felt him lean closer to me and place the leather jacket around my shoulders. I turned to him and smiled and he shook his head, smilingly slowly as he wrapped it around me, his arm going around my shoulder as well after he fixed it.

"Well, in Los Angeles, this crew guy apparently died on set. Rumors are spreading like wildfire online saying the set's haunted."

I looked up from the menu. "Like Poltergeist?"

"It could be a poltergeist."

Dean shook his head. "No, she means like, the movie Poltergeist." Sam just looked at me and Dean and shrugged, closing his laptop and gently sitting it next to him. "You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you?" Dean asked.

"No, Sam likes to know actual information instead of useless ones." I said with a giggle and that earned me Dean clamping his hand over my mouth. I moved away from his hand and just settled for burying my head into the crook of his arm.

"It was rumored that the set of Poltergeist was cursed. That they used real human bones as props. And, like, at least three of the actors died in it."

"Yeah, it might be something like that." Sam said with a nod.

"Alright, two coffees and a juice." The waitress, her name Sarah according to the nametag I had saw earlier, placed the drinks down on the table. I lifted my head and observed her for a moment. Her uniform looked like something out of a Halloween Costume shop. That is, if you wanted to be a slutty waitress for when you went trick or treating. "What can I get you to eat? Are you ready to order or do you need more time?"

"I'll have a cheeseburger please." I said and pushed the menu towards her.

"And for you two?" She asked Sam and Dean.

"I'll have what she's having, except I don't want the tomatoes or onions."

I scrunched my nose after Dean mentioned the onions and held a hand against my stomach. "Actually, no onions for me either please."

She watched as Dean looked me for a moment, placing his one hand over the hand I had on my stomach and then kissed my head. She sighed and turned to Sam, like the action had caused her a certain amount of pain. "And you?"

He smiled politely. "Grilled Cheese and fries."

"Kay, that'll be right up."

She walked over to the kitchen, ignoring the calls from other tables for refills and napkins. Dean sighed and pulled his lips back from my head. "Another clever ploy at pissing off the waitress?"

I shook my head no. "No, the notion of onions really did screw up my stomach."

Dean winced and laced his fingers with mine and placed another kiss on my head, every breath he let out through his nose gently passed through my hair. "All right, so this crew guy –- what's his name?"

"Frank Jaffey."

"Frank Jaffey –- he got a death certificate or a coroner's report or anything?" I asked.

Sam scoffed. "No. But it's LA, you know?" He said with a shrug. "It might not even be his real name. But the girl who found him said she saw something –- a vanishing figure."

"If I was in Hollywood, I would make up my name too."

"I like Andy." Dean said sweetly and I smiled, turning to give him a kiss. "What would you chose instead?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I've always liked the name Lucy."

Sam scrunched his nose. "Lucy Core doesn't fit you."

I picked up a napkin and crumpled it, sending it his way. He smiled as it hit his chest. "Well then, I'm guessing that's why it's not my name."

"What was the girl's name?" Dean asked, remembering what Sam mentioned.

"Tara Benchley."

I rolled my eyes, great. "Whoa, whoa, Tara Benchley? From FeardotCom and Ghost Ship, Tara Benchley?" Dean asked, extremely excited. This girl was his Hollywood Star crush since, well, as long as I could remember. I guess it was maybe, three years ago? When he'd first seen those movies and insisted on watching it millions of times. "Dude, why didn't you say so?"

I groaned. "Please don't have a fan girl moment." Dean glared at me.

"Oh, get off your high horse, Matt Damon."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "This has nothing to do with Matt Damon."

Sam smirked. "So now, you're suddenly on board?" He asked Dean.

Dean tried to be serious. "Oh, I mean, I'm just a fan of her work. She's very good."

"You're a fan of her boobs." I replied sourly and Dean hit his thigh against mine.

"Was. Was a fan…now I'm a fan of yours." He said with a head tilt and an eye wink that just made me giggle.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Winchester." I saw Sarah come out of the kitchen with our food. "Let's just eat and get out to Los Angeles. Maybe we can find Matt Damon and get me a role of some kind in his next movie."

Dean just rolled his eyes as the food was set down. "Right, you do that. In the mean time I'll try and get a reoccurring role on Smallville, okay?"

I smirked at Sam and dug into my French fries. At least we all had our priorities straight.

o0o0000o0o0o

reviews are appreciated :D