alright :D i hope everyone enjoys :DDD

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Chapter 56: What is and what should never be Part 2

Dean took my hand and led me down the stairs. The carpet was white there too and I tried not to take in the house all at once like I'd never seen it before as we reached downstairs. I heard Riley nosily get her bowl out in the room to the left. So down the hall to the right must have been where the living room and dining room were. I wanted to go investigate, to see what this life was like. But I couldn't really do that with Dean holding my hand and guiding me into the clean kitchen.

It was a huge kitchen, bigger than my mom's or John's kitchen ever was. And well, I couldn't really compare anything since I got up to a motel room every morning. It was like an insult. There was an island table in the middle of the room with four stool like chairs surrounding it. The walls were white and sunflowers were painted randomly around the room. Sunlight was shining bright through the window above the sink and hitting the sunflowers on the walls, making them look like they were glowing.

I stopped at the counter and watched for a moment as Riley tried to crawl up onto the stool with the princess bowl in her hands. She seemed to be having trouble. I looked at Dean but he wasn't paying attention, he was getting milk out of the fridge. I swallowed and froze from a moment, not really knowing if I should go pick her up. Nothing was really registering to me yet. I was so worried that this wasn't real. That the moment that I went to touch this beautiful girl she'd disappear right through my fingers like smoke.

Riley whimpered as her feet connected with the floor again, frustrated that she couldn't make it up on the stool by herself. I was so not used to this yet and friggen Dean made it look like a natural.

I kneeled next to her and she pointed to the chair. "Up."

I smiled and couldn't resist leaning into kiss her head. She smelled like strawberries. I picked her up in my arms and set the bowl on the table. I looked around the kitchen as Dean got out the cereal and set it next to the milk. I saw her high chair next to the sink and sighed, going over to drag it to the end of the table. I scooted it over near the one edge where Dean had put the cereal and milk and unbuckled the little belt after I slid her in. I made sure she was buckled in securely before I backed up from her.

She grinned at me, bouncing her legs. "O's! O's!"

"I got your Cheerio's, sweetheart." Dean said and I heard cereal being poured into a bowl.

He poured a good amount of milk in the bowl and placed it on the high chair table in front of Riley.

"Can you get her her spoon, babe?" Dean asked, turning to look at me as ran his fingers through one of Riley's pigtails.

"O's! O's!" She cried again and suddenly dove her hand into the bowl. She pulled out a handful of wet cheerios and stuck them in her mouth, succeeding in making a big mess.

The high chair table had random splotches of milk and cereal while milk had cascaded down her one arm and nearly found its way into her sea green, sparkle pajamas.

"She gets impatience from you, you know." I said with a smirk and Dean chuckled.

He shook his head at Riley and crossed the kitchen to get paper towels to clean her up. While he was distracted I looked through a few drawers for the silverware, since I actually had no idea where anything was. If Dean had been able to notice I wasn't myself by not knowing it was Christmas Eve, he'd definitely be able to notice something was wrong when I didn't know where anything was.

"Well at least with food she is." I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke to her. He licked the paper towel and gently trailed it down her arm and around her cheeks. "Aren't you, peanut?" The little girl giggled excitedly and bounced her legs against the chair again.

Since the bowl was a princess bowl and Dean had mentioned to get 'her' spoon, I guess the spoon I needed to look for was something that matched the bowl. Like a set. So I looked for a pink, plastic spoon. I opened the drawer near the fridge and nearly sighed in relief as I found the silverware. I pulled the drawer halfway out and smiled at the little plastic spoon with a Barbie princess on the handle.

"Now what did I tell you?" Dean asked her and picked up the bowl to wipe the table off. He set the bowl back down and threw the paper towel away. "Don't eat with your hands unless you see your daddy do it first."

I smirked at his attempt at scolding as I came up beside him and gently ran a hand over his back. "Don't you kind of eat food with your hands all the time?" I quipped.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and brought me against him. "Thanks for the jab, babe. Its nice to see you still have your humor early in the morning with a headache."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he smiled slowly. He took the spoon from me and placed a long kiss on my forehead. His lips were warm and soft. If anything, that was one thing that had stayed the same. I felt like I had to distance myself because I knew this world wasn't real. It had to be the genie and I had to figure this out and get back to the life that was my own. From what I could remember, Dean needed me. Dean and those two girls. But if I was here, I'm guessing I needed help of my own. But even then, there was a large percentage of me that just wanted to stay here. It was perfect, everything that I wanted. Was it so wrong just to put off the case for a little and enjoy this life while I could?

I looked down at Riley and felt Dean's hand gently rub my side. I could forget a life filled with bruises and nightmares. Just for a little while. That was too easy and I couldn't resist it.

"Spoo! Spoo!" Riley reached out eagerly for the spoon in Dean's hand. He leaned down to peck her cheek and then handed her the spoon.

Dean sighed and watched Riley eat for a moment. I absentmindedly wrapped my arms around him and buried my nose into his t-shirt. He ran his hands through my hair and then tilted my chin to kiss me gently. "Still interested in that breakfast?"

I smiled against his lips and nodded my head. My stomach grumbled, like it was excited to be reminded of Dean's French toast offer.

"Juice!" Riley exclaimed.

"Apple or orange?" Dean asked, not letting go of me but turning his head to look at the small girl.

Riley looked at me and smiled shyly. I smiled and kissed Dean one more time before I pulled myself from his arms. I leaned close to Riley and kissed her nose. She smiled and playfully tugged the strands of hair on both sides of my face.

"Apple or orange, sweetie?"

She tugged the hair that was in her right hand and rubbed her little face with her left. "Hmph." She grunted, nearly sounded like a pout of some kind. "Gape." She finally said.

I carefully unwound her fingers from my hair and looked at Dean. "No grape?"

"Store didn't have any when I went the other day." He frowned and took the empty bowl off of the high chair and put it in the sink.

Riley seemed to understand that she wasn't getting grape juice any time soon. I watched her chin wobble and her bright blue eyes quickly filled with tears. She whimpered once and Dean was right by her again. He unbuckled the high chair and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he gently patted her back.

"Come on, its okay." He cooed. "You like apple. I'll get you some grape tomorrow, okay? You can come with me and ride in the cart."

"No!" She cried and Dean coughed as she unexpectedly kicked her knee against his chest.

"I don't think someone got enough sleep last night." Dean muttered as I picked Dott up off the floor and placed him on the table.

I could feel Dean watching me as I went over to the drain board and picked up a purple sparkly sippie cup. I got some apple juice from the fridge and filled up the cup halfway. I screwed the lid on, put the juice away and set the cup against the bear as I sat down on one of the stools.

"Here, give me her." I opened my arms.

Dean carefully passed a sniffling Riley to me. I sat her on my lap and kissed her head. Dean smiled at me and ran a hand over my back before he went off around the kitchen, getting my breakfast ready.

"Hey Riley." I nearly whispered, wiping some of her tears off with my fingertips. She pushed my hand away after a few moments and I smirked. Stubborn little girl. That she got from Dean too. Made me wonder what she got from me other than her blue eyes. "Where's Dott?"

She bent over the arm I had around her waist to look around on the floor where she had left him. When she didn't see him she looked up at me. "Where Dott?"

"He's on the table." I sat her up a little and she smiled when she saw him. "He's drinking apple juice."

"Up." She whined, reaching for Dott.

"You want his juice?" I asked, hearing something crackle. I looked up to see Dean's back to me. I smiled as I watched him bustle around the stove for a moment, flipping bread carefully on the pan in front of him. He then piled it on a plate near him. I licked my lips as the smell of French toast filled the room.

"Yes." She answered and I looked down at her. She had put her hands on the table and stood on my lap, getting ready to crawl on the table.

"Yes what?"

"Pwease." She said and a pout formed on her lips. That action was all me. I laughed slightly and reached across the table and handed her the sippie cup.

She sipped it quickly and I watched as Dean set a plate in front of me. There was three pieces of French toast piled up and it smelled amazing. My stomach grumbled loudly.

Dean picked Riley up from my lap and smirked. "Juice good, babe?" She nodded enthusiastically, not taking her lips off the cup.

"Mind getting me the syrup?" I asked, getting ready to get up and get a fork since I actually knew where those were.

"Here, sit down." He gently placed a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back into the chair. He placed Riley on the floor and kneeled to talk to her. "Finish your juice and get ready to get a bath okay?" She pouted and Dean smirked. "Don't pout with me, peanut." He gently turned her around and patted her butt gently. "Head upstairs."

I watched her run out of the room and Dean shook his head, smiling as he went over to the cabinets. I paid special attention to which cabinet he got the syrup out of so I could put it back and he grabbed a fork from the drawer.

"You want juice too?"

"Uhm," I spotted the half full coffee pot near the fridge. "Coffee please?"

He nodded and went to get me a mug. I poured syrup over the bread and then dove my fork into the end of the French toast and took a medium bite. I chewed it thoughtfully for a moment and nearly moaned.

"Oh my God, Dean. This is so good."

Dean chuckled and placed the mug next to my plate. "Please, its not like you haven't had it before."

I looked at him for a moment and bit my tongue on the comment where I mentioned I hadn't. Dean barely made breakfast foods. He could cook pasta, I remembered that from one of the dates we had had. He also knew how to make some wicked chocolate chip cookies and brownies, but I barely had the time to enjoy them. We were lucky if our motel had working heat let alone a working oven for sweets.

I nodded and swallowed. "Yeah, I just meant. Its really good, thanks."

He smiled and kissed my head, letting his lips linger there. "You're welcome."

I closed my eyes as his hand traveled down my back. "I have to give Riley a bath. But maybe after she's all dressed and done…" His lips trailed down my face and nibbled my neck. "I can give you one."

I laughed and pulled back to look at him. "A bath?"

He nodded and kissed me, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, his thumb swiping across my skin. "With bubbles."

I kissed him gently. "As long as you're getting in with me."

"Like I'm missing out on that opportunity." Dean said sarcastically.

"De!" I heard Riley yell from upstairs.

Dean sighed and pulled back, turning to look out the kitchen doorway. "I'm coming, sweetheart!" He yelled after her.

"Dott come too."

He looked at me and motioned to me one moment. I watched as he left and, I'm guessing, went to stand at the bottom of the stairs. I continued to eat my French toast as Dean spoke to Riley.

"Dott can't come Riles, he can't swim silly!"

I finished my French toast and put the plate in the sink. I sniffed and ran a hand through my hair, joining Dean at the bottom of the steps.

Dean turned to look at me. "I'll be back down with her soon. Finish your breakfast." I nodded and he leaned over and kissed my lips for a few moments, pulling me closer to him.

"EW!" Riley laughed and as I looked up at her she was covering her face.

Dean chuckled and ran up the stairs after her. She squealed excitedly and started running down the hall but he gathered her into his arms in one quick motion before she could get very far.

"Be careful you two!" I yelled after them and then smiled to myself.

I sighed and headed into the kitchen. After I cleaned up for a few minutes, I opened all the cabinets and took a look inside before another debacle like the silverware one happened again. I sipped my coffee slowly and turned out of the kitchen, going down the hall into the living room. It was huge, just like the kitchen and it made me wonder what kind of money Dean and I had. Did we have actual careers that paid us money?

I ran my hand along the soft black couches, yes we had two, and put my mug down on the coffee table between them. I glanced over at the fireplace, which was near the back of the room. A huge Christmas tree was next to it. It was bigger than the one in the bedroom. Fuller I guess was the correct word. It had the same red garland on it and the big gold and silver balls. The difference was this one had twinkle lights. I smiled and ran my hand along them. I noticed personalized ornaments too. Like Baby's first Christmas and Our first Christmas. That last one was a picture of me and Dean. Dean was behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist and he was resting his chin on my shoulder. I obviously was the one who was taking the picture. I couldn't pinpoint where we were however. You could only see green grass and blue skies.

I turned over the ornament and ran my thumb over the engraving. 'Dean and Andy. Three years.' I scrunched my eyebrows and stepped back from the tree. Had Dean and I been married for three years? Or was that ornament old and we had been married longer?

I turned my attention to the fireplace. It was decorated with fake holly leaves and berries and I leaned close to look at all the pictures that were sitting up there. Pictures of me and Dean, the one with us in front of the Eiffel Tower was my favorite. I wondered if we had gone there just as a vacation or if it had been for our honey moon.

There were pictures of Dean, Riley and I and some of me just holding her. I picked up a picture on the far left corner and ran a finger down the glass. It was of me and Jess. Sam's Jess. And we looked pretty cozy next to each other. We were at a bar as far as I could tell, pink drinks in front of us. We were grinning and had arms over each other. I smirked and put the picture down. I picked another one up of me and Sam. It was a piggy back picture. I was on the Sam's back and his arms curled under my knees to hold me up. No idea where we were but we looked a bit younger, like we were both in college.

I shook my head at the bunch of pictures and sat down on one of the couches. It was so odd looking at pictures like that. Dean, Sam and I never really kept any and if we did we never put them out or said anything about them. I guess it was because we hardly had any past happy memories that we wanted to remember. I slowly drank the coffee as it started to grow cold. I hadn't even realized the water for the shower was on until I heard pipes shake above me as Dean turned the bath off.

I drank the rest of my coffee and went into the kitchen to put it in the sink. I rinsed the mug out and set it down next to Riley's bowl. I felt like washing dishes. I guess it was because I never really had to before. When I was little and still lived in my dad's house I had to wash dishes. It was my chore while Dean and Sam cleaned weapons and put them away. I never liked cleaning the weapons and I found that I never did it right when I did try and put them away. After cleaning a gun wrong four times in a row my father took me off the duty. Although, dishes was pretty much a useless task because we hardly had any and Sam usually helped after we ate dinner. I washed and he dried and put away. I smiled softly at the memory.

I looked up and scrunched my eyebrows as a loud dinging noise went off. Was that the doorbell? I walked through the kitchen and down to the end of the hall where, I'm guessing the front door was. Looked like a front door. The doorbell rang again and I unlocked the bolts on the door. I swallowed as I slowly opened the big white panted wooden door. I honestly didn't know who to expect on the other side.

My mouth dropped open and I'm pretty sure my heart jumped all the way into my throat. I felt tears fill my eyes. The woman smiled at me, her shoulder length brown hair blowing around from the harsh winter.

"You gonna let me in, Andy?" She asked with a smirk. Her blue eyes bore into me.

"Mom?"

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She chuckled and pushed past me, Jasmine filling the air as she walked. She was so graceful when she did anything and her wild flower printed skirt flowed behind her like smoke.

"Don't mom me." She put her hand up to interrupt me before I could speak. "Yes, I know, too cold for a jean jacket."

I nearly gaped at her but tried to follow into the familiar conversation with her. I hadn't talked to her and so long but she was just like I remembered. "Well…its too cold for a skirt too."

She smiled at me. "You don't like it? Bought it yesterday at the thrift store. Ten dollars!" She playfully pushed my shoulder. "Got you one too! Its in my car." I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head. Exactly like I remembered. Wild flower and all. "Now, where's my beautiful little grandchild and that sexy man of yours?"

"Mom." I said embarrassed, my cheeks growing pink.

"What?" She rolled her eyes. "Please, like I've never called him that before."

"Called me what before?" Dean asked, coming down the hallway. He had Riley up in his arms. I smiled softly at the little girl. She was playing with Dean's hair, which was slightly wet. Looks like Riley didn't take baths so easily.

"Sexy." My mother answered him and he chuckled.

"Always a pleasure, Karen." He looked up at Riley and kissed her nose. "Ready to go with grandma?"

She nodded and hugged Dean around his neck. "De!"

He smiled and rubbed her back gently. "I love you sweetheart. You be good for grandma, you understand?"

She nodded against his neck. "Dott!" She whimpered. "Where Dott?"

Dean looked at me. "Say goodbye to your mom and I'll go get him, okay?"

He gently passed her to me and I hoisted her up in my arms while Dean jogged down the hall and back upstairs. I sighed, kissing the little girls head. She pointed to her shirt. It was bright yellow and had a duck on it. I smiled and ran a hand over her tummy, tickling her. She giggled and pushed my hand away.

"Is that a duck you got there?" I asked her and I saw my mother smile at me.

Riley nodded enthusiastically and ran her hands over the sparkly duck. "De…" She looked around. "De."

"He'll be back sweetie, he went to get Dott."

"She loves her father doesn't she?" She gently played with one of Riley's pigtails.

I smiled and hugged Riley gently. "Yes, she does. Just like I do."

"Alright." Dean came back down the hall with Dott in his hands. "Here you go. Got her jacket too." He slipped the jacket on and buttoned it up tight. He smiled as she gripped the bear and rubbed her face against it. "You kiss your mom?"

Riley kissed my cheek and I smiled, kissing her nose. I passed her to my mother and she took her into her arms.

"I just put her in a new pair of pull ups so that should be okay." Dean told her and Karen nodded.

"I'll see you both at dinner tonight?" She asked and Dean placed a hand on my back.

"Yeah, most likely. Though, Andy wasn't feeling well this morning."

"It was just a headache." I assured. "Its going away now, not a big deal."

"Good. You two aren't missing out on Christmas Eve dinner. Sam and Jess are coming in from California. I find out you two are staying it, I'm bringing the party here."

Dean smirked. "Threat taken, Karen. Thanks."

"Bye baby." Dean smiled as Riley waved at us.

She tilted her head at Dean and shifted Riley. "Well, I'll get out of your hair. Good luck."

I looked at Dean a bit confused. What was she saying good luck for? I watched as she walked to the door and closed it behind her.

"Good luck?" I asked.

Dean scrunched his eyebrows. "Yeah, we have to find that dollhouse. Remember? That's why your mom picked Riley up in the first place."

"Oh," I rubbed my forehead as his arms came around my waist. "Right."

"You're really not like yourself today." He said softly, if not a bit worried.

"I know, I'm really sorry. Just…pressure of Christmas and everything."

He nodded and stepped closer to hug me. His arms came around my back and I closed my eyes against him. I took a big breath of cinnamon and his hands rubbed my shoulders. "I told you, we'll be okay. Between your job and mine, we can afford stuff this year. I promise you, it'll be okay."

I swallowed. It was amazing how quickly worried I became when he said that. Our house was big and it was filled with nice things. Our jobs couldn't have been that bad right? Even so, I still didn't want to get into the types of jobs we had. Especially since I was totally blank on the subject. Dean was going to start thinking I had a twin or some kind of blackout problem.

I pulled back and he continued to massage my shoulders. I took one of his hands and laced them with mine. "I trust you Dean."

He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Good. I'm not lying to you."

I ran a hand through my hair and looked at the front door. "Think my mom is still getting into her car?"

Dean smirked. "Probably. You know how long it takes her to buckle Riley in and start that damn Volkswagen. Especially since she fills it with goddamn vegetable oil."

"You know its not actual vegetable oil, right Dean?" I opened the front door and saw my mom's Volkswagen beetle in the driveway. "Its just a handy oil in protecting the ozone layer. You know how my mom is. Love all, serve all."

He shakes his head. "She's crazy. There'd be no way in hell I'd be putting that shit in my baby."

I giggled and headed outside to see the Impala in the driveway. I smirked. At least that hadn't changed. I figured the moment Dean had said it was his 'baby' that it could only be one car.

As my mom saw me walk to her car she got out and stood there. She scrunched her eyebrows. "Everything okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I just…" I glanced back at Riley. "You know she's unbuckled right?"

Karen looked back at Riley, who was giggling and looking at the house. She sighed and opened the back door. "She keeps undoing the buckle." She strapped her in again and gently tapped her nose with her pointer finger. "And she thinks its funny!" She chuckled as Riley grinned and bounced her feet against the car seat.

"De! De!"

I smirked and shook my head as my mom pulled herself out of the car. She seemed to need Dean just as much as I did. I sat next to the car seat and handed her Dott, which had been on the seat next to her.

"Dean's inside, silly. You have to go with grandma." She frowned and shook her head. She sniffled and rubbed her face against Dott again. "Its just for a little while. We have to go talk to Santa."

She suddenly grinned. "Sss…"

"San-ta." I pronounced and she started bouncing again. "Gonna go see about that Barbie house."

She waved her arms and tried reaching out for me. I leaned foreword and her little hands came around my head, tugging my hair gently. I smiled against her. I pulled back and kissed her cheek. I pulled on the buckle, making sure it was tight.

"Don't undo this anymore, okay? Santa doesn't bring dollhouses to little girls who don't behave." She rubbed her hands along her face and yawned. I ran my hand through her hair and the slid out of the car.

I watched my mom and close the trunk. She approached me with a skirt in her hand. She handed it to me and I looked at it and then at her. "Told you I got you one."

I smiled at it and put it under my arm. "Thanks mom."

"Couldn't pass up a good opportunities like that. You know me."

"Yeah," I mentioned softly. "I do."

She ran a hand down my hair. "You sure you're okay, hunny?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just…happy to see you." I didn't wait for her to reply, I went close to her and wrapped my arms around her neck. I squeezed her tightly and buried my nose in her shoulder as I closed my eyes.

She laughed but rubbed my back regardless. "Well, its not like you didn't see my yesterday sweetie."

"I…" I pulled back. "I know. I just…guess I missed you."

She gently tapped my nose. "You're an odd one."

I smirked. "Yeah."

"You let Dean take care of you, ya hear? You deserve a little relaxing. Your job hasn't been the easiest of late."

"Sure, he's starting a bath so…" I nodded and then smiled slowly. "Should be relaxing."

She laughed and opened the car door. "Lucky you have that to crawl in bath with. If I was only a bit younger…"

"Mom!"

She smiled at me and raised her eyebrows. She got into the car and tried starting it. It worked on the third time she tried. "I'll see you two tonight, baby face."

I looked back at Riley, who was fast asleep against her bear. "Take care of her."

"Always do." She smiled again. I smiled softly and watched her pull out of the driveway and drive down the road. I licked my lips and sighed. She had always been all smiles. Ever since I was little.

I saw the newspaper at the bottom of the drive in a green plastic bag and went to pick it up. I took it out of the bag and looked at it. "Kansas?" I muttered, looking over the paper and flipping through it.

I looked up from the paper and sighed, noticing someone across the street. I scrunched my eyebrows at the girl standing there. I smiled softly at her, thinking she was someone who lived in one of the houses near here. But she wasn't smiling back. She was just standing there, staring at me. And she looked worn, like someone had drained the life outta her. I knew her.

The paper fell from my hands and I tried to cross the street to get closer to her.

"Andy!"

I turned around and saw Dean coming out of the house. I looked back at where I saw the girl but she was gone. I looked around the street. Fire hydrant, cars, trees, a woman with a stroller but no dead looking girl staring at me. I swallowed and turned back to Dean.

"Sweetheart, jesus you're pale." He wrapped his arms around me. "Its too cold out here. Let's get inside before you catch something."

"Okay." I said softly. I nearly felt tears threaten my eyes as Dean took me inside. I tried to brush off the fact that I saw that girl. That it was just a girl who lived across the street and had been staring at the car or house or anything but me. But I knew too much, experienced too much to think that that had just been a girl with no supernatural strings attached. Why couldn't my other life just leave me alone?

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Dean sat me down on the toilet and closed the bathroom door. The bath was already made. There was pink looking bubbles filling the top and I even saw rose petals floating in and on the water. I licked my lips and sighed softly. It smelled like strawberries in here, but I wasn't sure if that was the bubble bath or from when Dean had given Riley a bath.

He kneeled in front of me and put his hands on my knees. "What's wrong? And don't say nothing. You're not alright. You looked scared to death outside."

I swallowed as he leaned to undo the knot in my robe string. He pulled it aside and revealed the light purple lingerie I had been wearing and rested his hands on my thighs. What could I tell him? That I thought I saw a dead girl from the basement in my other screwed up supernatural life? That I was pretty sure I was sent here by a genie and I was slowly dying while Sam shagged his ass to get to that basement and save both of us?

"I just, thought I saw someone I knew across the street." I looked down at my hands. I scrunched my eyebrows. I had been so wrapped up in my mother being alive I hadn't even thought about my father. Figured I should try that now, seeing as how its not like I could ask a question like 'is he dead or not?'. "He looked like my father."

Dean's face scrunched in sympathy and I knew the answer right there. He leaned up and hugged me tightly around my shoulders. "I'm so sorry sweetie. I know your dad's death hasn't been easy for you."

I nodded against his shoulder. "Yeah."

"I know its only been a few months but…"

"I'll be okay." I was so used to death it wasn't even funny.

He sighed. "Yeah, you will be."

I swallowed and pulled back. "And the way he died…its just…"

I waited for Dean to jump in. "A stroke. It was sudden," He stroked my hair. "I know."

A stroke. No Wendigo attacking him on a hunt, ripping him to shreds. I wondered if my father even resembled the one I knew when they had put him in the grave. Was this life so much better? My dad was still dean. Although I couldn't deny that I was slightly calmed by the fact that he died of natural causes. I don't know why a stroke made anything better. Maybe I was just trying to find problems with this life. So I could find the actual momentum to research the genie and get the hell back where I belonged. I looked up at Dean and smiled softly. He was perfect. Well, I guess that hadn't changed from one life to another. Dean was perfect no matter what life he was in. But my mother was alive and Sam and Jess lived together in California and I loved Riley till my heart ached. Couldn't I stay a little longer?

I ran a hand through Dean's hair and brought it down to stroke his face. "You did this for me?" I motioned to the bath.

He smiled. "Of course. Who else would I do it for?" I sighed as he slid the robe down my shoulders. He then leaned up and kissed down my right arm. I closed my eyes against his touch. As he stood up I looked at the bath again. It looked so warm, so cozy and the flowers in the water just made me smile.

He set my robe on the sink and took his t-shirt off. He held out a hand to me and I took it, standing up. He pulled me close and kissed my head. "Even though I love the feel of silk…" He ran his hands down my back and gently grasped my bottom. He leaned in and nibbled my neck. "I'd rather feel your skin."

I moaned slightly as he lifted the slip up and ran his hands over my back. He slinked back down again and played with the elastic line of my panties. He snapped them and I grunted. Dean smirked and lifted the slip up and over my head. I played with the drawstring of his checkered pants. He chuckled as I pulled on them, drawing him closer to me. I pushed my lips against his and he slipped his right hand in my underwear.

He gently toyed with the folds and sleek skin and I found myself nearly trapping his hand where it was. I gasped as he slipped a finger inside.

"Can't do this with Riley at home." He muttered huskily against my lips.

"Right, because isn't this how Riley even came about?"

He smirked and kissed me again until I couldn't breathe; his tongue moving around my mouth like his finger was inside me.

I pulled down his pants and played with his boxers. I stroked his hardness through the material. He let out a guttural growl and brought me closer to him, leaning down to lick my collar bone. The rest of the clothes were pulled off and Dean gently pushed me against the wall near the tub. He put his hands on the wall around my head and I leaned up and kissed him. He grabbed my thighs and picked me up in his arms. My arms curled around his neck and I felt myself slide down on his body and I felt him slip inside.

"Jesus." I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. I missed this way too much. Though, I couldn't say that. In this life who knew the last time Dean and I had sex. It might have been yesterday and I wouldn't have known.

He smirked and held me tight against his body, making sure he had me before I started moving on him. I moved up on him using his shoulders for a little leverage and he groaned loudly, kissing my chest.

"Been too long, baby." Dean said, starting to pant as I moved faster. So it had been a while.

I moaned and kissed his forehead. "I've missed you." I muttered and my eyes fluttered closed.

"Oh, God." Dean growled, pushing my back hard against the wall. I laid my head back and held onto Dean's shoulders as he moved up and down, in and out.

I whimpered softly as I felt a heat built within me. Like a slow burning brush fire moving within a forest. It started slow and in one area but then gained momentum and the fire was everywhere.

"Close?" Dean asked roughly.

I wasn't close, I was there. I came loudly, squeezing Dean's shoulders and chanting his name like a mantra. Dean spilled right after me, screaming my name like I was lost and he was looking for me. I panted heavily and Dean gently pulled out, setting me on the ground and against the wall. He leaned close to me and rested his forehead against the wall, running his lips over my neck.

"Hmm…" He muttered softly, placing kisses along my pulse which was still rapidly beating. He pulled back with a warm smile and kissed my lips. "How bout that bath?"

O0o0o0o0o0

"Sleepy?" Dean asked me as he drifted the warm water over my breasts.

I think I had closed my eyes the moment I had sat back against him in the large tub. It was just, so warm and comfortable and everything smelled glorious. It was a combination of cinnamon, roses and strawberries.

I shrugged and the water moved slightly around. I pried open my eyes to look at his face. I put my arm around him for a moment to run my hand through his spiked locks. "No, you're just really comfortable. And this bath feels amazing."

He smiled and kissed the side of my head as I resumed the position I had been in on his chest. "Good. Turn over."

I sat up and turned over to lay my chest against his. I placed my arms around his waist and inched up so my chin was on his collar bone. I sighed softly as he drifted a washcloth down my back and over my shoulders.

"You're all tense." Dean said softly, all smiles gone from his voice.

I looked up at him. "I'm okay." Little did he know that that I'd been in more stressful situations before. That my tense shoulders were no where near as bad as after some hunts.

Dean licked his lips and nodded once, not bringing it up again. He pushed the material of the washcloth into my skin, following the dips and curves of my body. I let out a soft, comfortable moan. Dean smirked and leaned down to place a kiss of my forehead.

"You excited to see Sam and Jess? Its been a few months."

I looked up at him. "Yeah, definitely. I miss them."

Dean ran a hand through my hair. "It is alright if they stay here right?"

"Well, we obviously have the extra room…"

Dean cut me off and it made my heart leap. "No, I'm not concerned about where we'd put them. I'm concerned about you and your stress."

I sighed. Looks like that was another thing I couldn't escape no matter what freaking life I woke up in. "I'll be fine. I want them to stay here."

"Riley's gonna be thrilled to see Sam." He chuckled and shook his head. His smile faded after a moment though and I wanted to ask what was wrong. But I think I was supposed to know. So I leaned up and planted a long kiss on his cheekbone. That caused a very small smile to ghost over his lips but it disappeared the moment it appeared.

I sat up and took the washcloth from Dean's hands and glided it over his shoulders. He closed his eyes against my touch. I dipped the cloth in the water and wrung it out a few times. The water splashed and trickled down like rain falling into a puddle as I brought it up over his neck and rubbed the back. I watched the water push over his shoulder and down his chest. I leaned my lips on his skin and placed a few kisses.

"Its my fault, you know."

"What's your fault, babe?" I asked softly, my lips against his muscles as I spoke.

"The fact that Sam and I aren't close, I know you were about to say something about it."

I looked up at him. The sentence sounded like I had opened my mouth about it before. Actually, from Dean's expression it looked like I touched on the subject too many times. I kept forgetting that relationships were different. That some bonds hadn't been made and some had been formed out of no where. Like I was still getting use to the fact that Jess and I seemed to be good friends. But because our hunting life was non existent, John never disappeared trying to find the thing that killed their mother and Dean never went to get Sam at school. I bet they had barely spoken to each other since Sam started college. Dean obviously knew about Jess, but I seemed to be so buddy buddy with everyone. I'm guessing Dean was the only odd ball out of the relationship.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. "I didn't mean to irritate you with it. I just think its…unfortunate, that's all." Memories swept over my mind. "I think you two would get along great."

"Yeah, I know." Dean sighed and tilted my chin and kissed my lips gently. "I'll try and get along with him today, deal? No fights in the middle of the restaurant this time." I winced. "Promise."

I stroked his face. "Okay."

He smiled down at me and took the washcloth from me, running it down my arms. I closed my eyes. As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't. I couldn't keep this life, it wasn't mine. Why had my other life made me such a fucking martyr? I sighed softly. After Christmas dinner, I'd figure out a way to get back. And then decide if I had courage to nerve to carry through with the plan.

O0o0o0o0o0o

"Is that it or…was the last four it?"

Dean scrunched his eyebrows and absentmindedly drew his arm around my waist. "They…kind of look the same."

I nodded, looking up and down the toy aisle and on the shelves. We were definitely in the right aisle. Actually I think a whole three shelves were dedicated to doll houses. Some came with dolls, others with cars and some even with mini pools. Although, I think those looked like 'Barbie's Vacation Hotel' more than houses.

I turned a box to the side to look at the advertisement. I licked my lips and looked at the Barbies on the front. "I think this one's it."

"You said that about the last one, babe."

"Yeah, but, that one didn't have a little car with it. This one does."

Dean chuckled. "You spoil her. You know she has little cars like that all over the house."

I turned to look at him and he smiled, tightening his hold around me. He kissed my lips. "Right," I said against his skin. "Like you've never spoiled that little girl in her life. She's so fond of you for a reason, you know."

"That's because I'm awesome."

I laughed. "Right, how could I forget. And I'm sure the ice cream before bed has nothing to do with it."

He smiled slowly. "Yeah, that might help too."

I shook my head as I looked at the boxes, a small smile playing over my lips. I didn't need to be part of this life to know that Dean was spoiling that little girl.

"Alright, once and for all, I think its this one."

Dean groaned. "You sure? Because I've been sensing this kind of pattern..." I poked his side and a small laugh passed his perfect lips.

"I'm sure about this one! Look," I pulled the large box off the shelf. It was heavier than I thought, damn simple pink plastic weighed a ton.

"I got it, Andy." Dean bent his knees and picked it up from my arms as it started to slip from my hold.

I grunted. "Thank you."

Dean smiled and adjusted it in his arms and smiled at me. "Now, what's so special about this one?"

"Its like, a Ranch House, it comes with a brown and white horse." He rolled his eyes as I walked next to him out of the aisle. "What?"

"You and animals, I swear to God." I pouted and he smiled at me. "You know I think its adorable." He bumped hips with me, even though he almost dropped the box. He chuckled. "Don't pout like that."

"Why? Make you want to kiss me?" I joked and pouted my lips at him.

Dean looked at me as we stood in line for the cashier. He put the Barbie house box near his feet and hooked an arm around my waist. He pulled me against his chest as his other arm swooped up my back and tangled his hand in my hair. The kiss was passionate but it wasn't rough and unbearable. I gently stroked his cheek as he kissed me and as he pulled back he gently kissed my fingertips. I smiled softly and he grabbed the box as the line started to move.

"You want to pull the car up?" Dean asked.

I looked up at him. "You want me to get the Impala."

He chuckled at the face I gave him. "Right," he motioned to his jeans. "Like I've never ever let you drive the car before."

I smirked and dug in his pants pocket, looking for his keys. "You'd be surprised." I muttered, not loud enough for him to hear.

Dean groaned as I pulled the keys out. "Were you trying to get the keys or turn me on?"

I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. I gently pinched his butt and kissed his cheek. "Oh, turn on." I pulled back and smiled. "Definitely."

I heard Dean mutter 'tease' as I walked away. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I walked out of the store to the Impala.

O0o0o0o0o

I walked out into the parking lot and to the Impala, careful of the traffic zooming in and out of parking spaces. Pretty crowded for it being Christmas Eve, but then again I guess everyone was trying to do last minute shopping for kids, especially ones who saw a Barbie commercial last night. I tried to imagine what Riley looked like when she saw it, running around the living room screaming about a Barbie playhouse. I put the key in the lock and started to unlock the car. I smirked as I imagined Dean running after her and picking her up, telling her it was time for bed or there'd be no Barbie house.

I looked up for a moment and froze as I felt an icy chill run up and down my spine. "No…" I muttered softly, turning and looking around the parking lot. I probably looked like an idiot to some people in the parking lot but I could give a shit at that moment.

I had been a hunter for too many years to know that that chill was anything that simple. It was a spirit and it was close. I just didn't know how close. I looked around the parking lot for anything that resembled the young woman I had seen before but didn't see anyone.

I felt a pang in my chest as my heart started beating a mile a minute. I shouldn't be here, I damn near forgot. I needed to get back to where I belonged, where my Dean and Sam were. This place was heaven to say the least, but the ache in my chest just reminded me that this wasn't real. It couldn't have been. I had been touched my a genie and that was just that. Genie's were evil weren't they? I tried to ignore the little voice in the back of my head as I got in the car and started the engine. It kept asking me, 'If Genie's were so evil, why did it grant you your wish? The one thing that you have always wanted? They can't possibly be so evil.' But I knew I was doubting myself there. Everything John taught me, everything my father taught me, wasn't going to waste. I knew what I had to do…I was just, horribly stalling on doing it.

I saw Dean wave me down as I pulled near the front of the store. He slid the box into the backseat and then climbed into passenger.

"I was starting to think you forgot where the car was." There was a smile on his face but then a small frown replaced it as he closed the door and looked at me. "You okay?"

Damn, was it possible that this Dean was harder to hide stuff from? "Uhm, yeah, I'm fine. I just nearly slammed my hand in the door. Just wasn't paying attention."

Dean took one of my hands off the steering wheel and kissed it. "Well, at least you didn't succeed in doing it."

I nodded. "Yeah, lucky." Before he could call me out on yet another bluff I turned and smiled at him. "Ready for dinner?"

Dean smiled and kissed my knuckles. "Long as your there, I'm always ready." I smiled softly and let him hold my hand. He eventually set it on his lap as I drove. Fuck the genie. I was enjoying one Christmas Eve dinner. It'd be the last one I'd enjoy in a long while.

o0o0o0o0o0

reviews would be nice ;D it convinces me to update ;D