i can't even begin to describe how sorry i am for the major late chapter. i had a birthday and i was so sick D: i wanted to THANK EVERYONE who reviews. you guys are awesome and i'm glad you like the story. i'm so sorry i don't update more often. everyone knows life is hectic. i'll try in the future to update more often. i have NO INTENTION of abandoning this series.

thanks and enjoy.

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Chapter 57: What is and what should never be Part 3

"Andy! You almost done? You've been in there for the last half hour." I rolled my eyes at Dean's comment.

"Ten minutes at most you drama queen." I smirked and stuck my head out the door to look at him.

He turned to look at me and my breath nearly hitched in my throat. He looked dashing. Dark blue pants with a lighter blue button down shirt. He was carefully trying to do his tie without a mirror, but was messing up terribly. I smirked. "Come here before you choke yourself."

He smiled softly and walked towards me, putting his one hand on my hip as he stood there. As soon as I touched his tie he wrapped both arms around me and I squealed as he lifted me out of the walk in closet and plopped me onto the bed. He laid down on top of me and I smirked, kissing his nose.

"Cheater."

"I should have never spent money on a walk in closet. You spend more time in there then you do any other room."

"You're just upset I get dressed in there and you don't get to watch me."

He smirked and kissed my forehead. "You know me too well."

I looked down at him and ran my hands along the blue fabric. "You look really handsome."

He smiled. "Thank you. You don't think its too much?"

"No, it's a dressy occasion. You look nice." He leaned down and pecked my cheek. "I can't find anything to wear."

He frowned. "Andy, don't make me go in that closet and pull out at least ten things you could wear." He smiled slowly. "Or…" He played with my bra strap and kissed my collar bone. "You could just wear this and I'll be completely happy."

"Right." I snorted. "I'm sure everyone in the family would really appreciate that."

"God knows I would."

I let out a laugh and pushed him up. "Yes, Dean. We all know how your downstairs would feel about it." I walked into the walk in closet again and looked at the various clothes. "Is everyone meeting here first?" My eyes peeked out to look at Dean. He was checking his watch.

"Yeah, everyone should be here soon too. Your mothers late, by the way. She was supposed to be here with Riley so we could change her ten minutes ago."

I came out of the closet with a few simple dresses. "I'm sure they're okay, right?"

Dean nodded and kissed my head. "Yeah, don't worry. You know your mother runs on a different time zone."

I smiled softly and laid out the dresses. "Well?"

Dean rubbed the side of his head and looked through the dresses. I had three of them picked out, all of them complimenting what Dean was wearing. They were all knee length and short sleeved. One was a very light purple color that went nicely with Dean's blue. The design kind of reminded me of the dress Jo had lent me for the date Dean and I had. The other two were blues. But different shades. One was almost identical to the color Dean had on and the other was a beautiful sky blue. If you held the fabric close to your face and looked at the stitching you could see white was woven in with the blue too. It looked like snow was blanketing it. But that was only if you looked real close and examined it.

Dean cocked his head and gave me a toothy grin. "I say you work a Fashion show for me."

I smirked and poked his side. "No time Winchester. Just pick one."

"You'd look great in all of them but…" He picked up the last one, the really light sky shade of blue one. "I like this one." He handed it to me and stroked the side of my face.

I smiled. "Then this is the one I'll wear."

"De! De!" Dean and I turned to see Riley making her way up the stairs with Dott in her hands. She was having trouble getting up the stairs because every time she'd bring her knee up to crawl on the next stair, it would hit Dott and she didn't move much.

Dean smiled and went to pick her up. "Hey, peanut." He kissed her cheek as he brought her into our room. "Miss me?"

She nodded and hugged Dean around his neck. He smiled and stroked her back. He looked at me and adjusted her in his arms. "I'm guessing your mother is here."

I smirked. "Good guess."

He licked his lips and kissed my forehead. "I need to grab Riley's clothes."

Riley pulled back and looked at me. I smiled softly and she smiled back, covering her face with her hands as her cheeks turned pink. Dean chuckled and gently tickled her stomach. "You embarrassed baby?"

She giggled and kicked her feet. I smiled and ran my hand through her little pigtails. "You sure you got her?"

"Yeah, you need to get dressed anyways. You have a little time, I think. Jess, Sam and my parents aren't here yet."

Dean went over to the bed and set Riley on it. He smiled and handed her Dott. "Stay right here, I'm gonna go get your dress and shoes."

Riley hugged the bear tightly and played with the sleeve of his shirt where the buttons were. I slipped on the dress and turned to try and get the zipper in the back. "Dean? Can you get this please?"

He turned to look at me and smiled. "Sure."

He looked at Riley one more time to make sure she was firmly planted on the bed and then placed his hands on my shoulders. He left small kisses on my back and shoulders and I closed my eyes against his touch. He gently zipped up the dress and pulled my hair back as it came to the top. He kissed the back of my neck and smiled into my skin.

"I'll be right back."

I damn near breathed out a reply. "Okay."

When Riley realized Dean was leaving the room she whimpered. "De!"

Dean turned and smiled at her. He came back to the bed and stroked her cheeks. "I'll be right back peanut. Okay?" He kissed her head and hurried to her room.

I sat next to Riley on the bed and pulled her onto my lap. "Did you have a good time with grandma?"

She nodded and played with the end of my dress. "Cartwoon!"

"You watched cartoons?"

She turned to look at me and smiled widely. I smiled softly and took her shoes off. As I took her socks off I realized they were purple. I ran my thumb along the dancing bears. They were the same socks Dean and Sam had bought me in the mall that day. I thought that was kind of odd. That mall thing never happened so how were the socks here? Or I guess I could have got them at a different time that had nothing to do with Sam and Dean and the mall.

Riley laid her body against me and closed her eyes and I gently stroked her back. I smiled softly and leaned down to kiss her head. Dean came back in the room and smiled as he set the clothes back on the bed.

"Your mother probably didn't lay her down for a nap again." He ran a gentle hand over Riley's arm. "Hopefully she'll get some sleep in the car because otherwise she's going to be miserable."

I smirked. "Just like her mother when she doesn't get enough sleep."

Dean smiled and ruffled my hair. "Yeah but usually…" He slid his lips close to mine and I licked them before he started speaking. "I can make you feel a whole lot better."

I laughed softly and kissed him. Riley stirred in my arms and whined a little, pushing her face into my stomach. I pulled back after a moment and looked down at her and then at Dean. I kissed his nose. "Can you change her? I still have to get ready."

Dean nodded and gently lifted Riley into his arms, she snuggled quickly into his chest. Dean sat her down on the bed and stroked her cheeks as I got up off the bed. I went over to the vanity and looked around the small table. There was a mirror, a brush and two wooden boxes. They were small and hand crafted bows were on them, you could tell they were jewelry boxes. I ran hand over one of them and looked at Dean through the mirror. His back was to me. He was kissing Riley's head and running his fingers through one of her pigtails.

"Baby, wake up for daddy a minute okay?"

"Deee." She whined and rubbed her little fist across her face. "Sweepy."

"I know, sweetheart. You can sleep right after I change you into your dress. Okay?"

I sat on the vanity chair and watched Riley's face. She frowned at the dress and big tears formed in her eyes. Poor little thing was really tired. Her lower lip wobbled and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Aw baby." Dean said gently. "Don't cry, come on. Chin up, peanut." Dean sat on the bed and pulled Riley into his arms and rocked her.

"Can we just leave her in that?"

Dean looked up at me and kissed Riley's head. "We might have to. Remember the time we tried to force clothes on her when she was tired? Took 'em right off and ran around the house stark naked."

I laughed softly, like I actually remembered it happening. "Oh right."

Dean smiled and continued to rock the little girl till her sobs quieted and she cried herself to sleep. He gently laid her down on the bed and pulled her pants off and set them aside. He gently lifted the shirt over her head and leaned down to kiss her stomach; Riley smiled in her sleep.

He carefully pulled the white tights up her legs. "Would you help me, please?"

"Yeah."

I got up from the chair and took her into my arms while Dean fixed the tights. Riley mumbled incoherent words as Dean slid the navy blue dress over her head and buttoned up the back. The dress was pretty. It had little golden stars on it in some places. She looked adorable in it. He took her back from me and laid her on the bed and slid her black buckle shoes on. I smiled as I watched him. After he got her all dressed he laid the bear next to her and pulled a blanket from the bottom of the bed and placed it over her.

I sat back at the vanity and ran a brush through my hair. I looked in the jewelry box and picked out a simple heart pendent to wear. I clasped it around my neck and picked it up, running my fingers over it. I missed my coin but I knew it wasn't here in this reality. Maybe still at the store or around another girl's neck, or melted down into something else...

I looked up at Dean; he broke the conversation in my head. "Sorry?"

He came up behind me and stroked my shoulders, leaning down to kiss my head. "I said, that looks very nice on you."

"Oh," I ran my fingers down it again and let go, both hands settling on my lap. "Thank you."

He smiled and I heard a doorbell ring downstairs. I looked towards the door. "Well, that's either Jess and Sam or my parents."

I nodded and looked up at him. "My mom can get the door."

Dean smirked. "I have not doubt about that. She hits on Sam like she hits on me."

I snorted. "Of course she does." I shook my head, a smile growing on my face. "I just need my shoes and a little eyeliner and lipstick and then we can go downstairs."

"Well I'm sure your mother already had beers ready to pass out," I smirked at that. "Cause there's really no hurry. Can't leave without you."

I smiled and looked in the closet for some shoes to wear. I saw a pair of simple black heels and slipped them on. Still hated heels, no matter what reality I woke up in. I carefully walked out in them to test them on the carpet and decided they weren't too bad to walk in. If I could walk on carpet I could walk on pavement.

I quickly applied some eyeliner and a little lipstick and put makeup into my purse along with my phone. I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Dean. "Alright, all ready."

Dean looked me up and down. "Wow, you look perfect."

I blushed leaned up to peck his cheek. "Thank you. Don't forget your tie." I took it off the bed and slid it through his collar. I carefully tied it for him and smiled, smoothing my hands down his chest.

"Very dashing."

He smirked. "Yeah, right, I'm damn near James Bond."

I laughed softly. "Yeah," I wrapped my arms around his waist and drew him closer, sticking my hands in his back pockets. I squeezed his ass softly. "What special gadgets you got?"

He chuckled and kissed me softly. He made sure his lips touched mine as he spoke. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Andy! Dean!" My mother called up suddenly and Dean smiled softly at me and kissed my lips once before he broke away and went to the top of the stairs. "Everyone's here. Get your gorgeous asses down here."

I smirked as Dean came into the room and scooped up Riley. "Your mother called me gorgeous."

"Yeah, well, its better than when she called you sexy."

O0o0o0o0o

As soon as Dean hit the bottom stair Riley woke slightly as laughter roared from the living room. Someone had just told a joke of some kind and I could bet my entire life being that it was my mother and a dirty version of an old joke. I followed Dean to the living room and suddenly felt very shy. Like I had never seen or met these people before. Which was ridiculous. I knew every one of them. Even Jessica. Even though I hadn't really spoken to her more than once. And that was on the phone when Sam insisted I meet her through telephone. She seemed very nice and she obviously loved Sam. And at the time that was all that mattered to me. I looked around the room, my eyes landing on everyone at once.

My mother had the same clothes on, no surprise there. John and Sam had suits on, John had a red tie while Sam had a golden one. Jess's dress match the color of Sam's tie and Mary had a beautiful black dress on. She looked so goddamn elegant in something so simple. The fact that Jess, Mary and John were very alive and standing in front of me also made me want to run and hug them, but I stood my ground. Sam stood, tall as ever and smiled warmly at me. He came over and hugged me tightly.

"Hey stranger. I've missed you, ya know?" I smiled softly and hugged Sam just as tight, standing up on my toes to do it.

"Hi Sam." I pulled back after a moment and straightened his tie and he watched me with a smile. He squeezed my hand and then let go as Riley fully woke up, kicking her legs excitedly as she saw Sam.

"Saa! Un Saa!" Riley grinned, reaching for Sam.

Sam grinned as he saw Riley. "Hey beautiful." He took her from Dean and set her against his chest. He leaned up and kissed her cheek and Riley blushed, giggling. "How's my favorite little girl doing?"

Riley covered her face and then quickly threw her arms around Sam's neck. I smiled at her and ran a hand down her back.

Jess came up behind Sam and smiled at Riley. "Hey Riley, remember me? I'm Jess." Riley shook her head no and shifted in Sam's arms.

I leaned up and kissed her cheek. "Its okay, baby. Jess is our friend." I came closer to Jess and she hugged me. I looked up at Riley. "See?"

I felt awkward but Jess hugged me like Sam did. Like we were close and did this all the time when we saw each other. And from the picture on the mantel we seemed to have a good relationship. It was from some odd years ago but it seemed like we had remained close friends.

Riley inched closer and Jess pulled back to smile at her. She managed to run a gentle hand through one of her pigtails before Riley moved away again and Sam shifted her in his arms.

Jess seemed disappointed and Sam shrugged. "She's just not used to you yet, babe. It takes a while to gain trust from this girl." He smiled lovingly at Riley and Dean came up beside Sam to take one of her hands. He stroked her knuckles and Riley giggled again.

Jess looked at me and smiled. God, she was beautiful. I actually found myself becoming extremely jealous. I tried to push it aside. I wasn't in any competition. "How have you been? I know its been a few weeks. Would you believe I dropped my phone in the street?"

Sam snorted. "For like the fifth time."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I dropped it and cracked the screen so sorry if you tried to call me."

"Oh, its alright." I smiled.

Riley started talking to Sam and I could tell she was telling him about the Barbie House she wanted and how she watched cartoons with my mom earlier. Sam made a few dramatic faces at Riley as she talked, like he was extremely amused and interested. Riley smiled and played with Sam's collar.

Dean went over and hugged his parents and that fact almost brought tears to my eyes. God he loved them so much. The other life wasn't fair to him. Sam and Dean were wonderful people and they didn't deserve the shit life they had. Dean smiled and cocked his head, inferring me he wanted me to come over there. I looked at Riley one more time to make sure she was okay and Sam was sitting down on the couch with her. Jess smiled at me, squeezed my arm and sat down with Sam. She wasn't as close as she wanted to be but she didn't want to upset Riley.

I smile and joined Dean. He wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my head.

"How are you, hunny?" Mary asked me. "You look beautiful. You and Riley both." Pretty sure I blushed so hard that my face resembled a fire truck. Mary touched my arm. "Please, like I don't tell you two that all the time. Stop the blush works."

I smiled and covered my face for a moment. "Sorry. And I'm doing alright. Ready for dinner."

John smiled. He never looked more handsome. "Yeah, us too. As soon as your mother stops trying to feed us all beers we can get out of here."

"To you John!" My mom tipped her beer and everyone chuckled as John lifted his beer too and took a sip with her.

I chuckled. "Yeah, sorry. Party woman." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but grin at her. I loved her so much, exactly the way she was. Never wanted her any different.

I felt Dean rub my side and as I looked at him he was looking at Riley. He seemed tense like he didn't trust Sam with her or something. I glanced over at Sam and he was talking to Jess, bouncing Riley on his knee. But he had her arms and it was a gentle bounce. She wasn't in danger of falling off or anything. I gently ran my hand along Dean's back and he looked at me. I scrunched my eyes.

You okay?

Dean shrugged his shoulder and nodded. Yeah, sure. Fine.

And he was such a horrible bullshiter. Something was up between Sam, Dean and Riley. I just didn't know what. Didn't know if I really wanted to know. I didn't want it to ruin my perfect reality that I'd have to leave soon. Maybe nothing was wrong at all. Maybe they just weren't close like they were now. No hunting and the need to find dad and the thing that killed Jess and their mom to bring them together.

"We all ready to go?" My mom asked, finishing off her beer.

I smirked. "Yeah, you're definitely riding with someone."

Sam smiled. "She can come with us."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Dean answered going to take Riley into his arms. Riley nearly stood on Sam's leg to jump into Dean's arms. Dean smiled. "Yeah, come here peanut."

"De! De!" She grinned and wrapped her arms around Dean's neck. Dean lifted her into his arms and raised her above his head. She giggled madly until Dean brought her back down against his chest. Dean kissed her cheeks and nuzzled his nose against hers. She ran her hands over Dean's face and he kissed her hands.

Sam and Jess stood and took each other's hands as I walked over to Dean. I wrapped an arm around his waist and he kissed my head. I smiled and leaned up to stroke Riley's face. She grabbed my hand and played with my fingers for a moment, like she was examining them and trying to figure out how they worked.

"Alright, so cars. Karen you're going with Sam and Jess?" Dean asked.

She nodded and Mary helped my mother off the seat. I smirked. "You alright mom?"

She grinned at me. "Totally perfect, babe." She winked and I shook my head, a small smile on my lips.

I looked at Dean and Riley and gave her a smile. She was growing sleepy again, the excitement from the new people was growing old. She rubbed her face and made a little noise and Dean ran a hand over her back.

"Tired, baby?"

Riley rested her head on Dean's shoulder and closed her eyes. She was out in minutes. "I'll go get our jackets."

Dean nodded and watched me go upstairs while everyone headed out to their cars. I carefully took the stairs seeing as how I had heels on. Heading to the hospital because I twisted my ankle from heels on stairs was definitely not included in my dream world. I turned into Dean and my room and flipped the light on and walked into the walk in closet. I searched for the light on the wall and finally found it and switched it on.

The lights flickered and I gasped, backing into the wall. Two girls, the one that was across the street before, and another I had never seen before, yet seemed so familiar, were hanging in the closet. And I mean hanging as in nooses from the ceiling. A hand covered my mouth as both opened their eyes and looked at me. They reached out their hands and tried clawing at the arm at my side. I jerked away and in an instant they were gone.

"Damn it." I muttered softly.

My old life wanted me back. Bad. And it didn't want to wait for one Christmas Eve dinner.

O0o0o0o0o

I'm glad I didn't drive to the restaurant because apparently it was one that when the family got together we all came here. It was a beautiful, even from the outside, I couldn't imagine what it'd be like inside. It reminded me of an old fashioned black and white movie. Like when a limo would pull up to the door a Hollywood actress would walk on the red carpet into the building. Well that's what it looked like. It seemed expensive. And for once I wondered if we had enough money to pay for it. I managed to figure out I worked at a museum. Which was kind of cool. I always wanted to do something like that when I was little. But Dean had a normal desk job at a company and comparing money, I hated to do that, I brought more of the cash flow into the house. Its funny how I never had to worry about money before because the credit card scams and the bar hustling. I nearly missed getting money that way.

Dean parked the car and looked around. "I think everyone is here already if you want to head in. I'll get Riley."

I smiled. "No, I'll walk in with you." I had no idea where I was going. Like what table. If the place was bigger inside then I thought and we had a regular table I'd look like an idiot looking for it. Dean nodded and pecked my cheek. I turned around to see Riley asleep in her car seat. "Glad she got some rest."

Dean pocketed the car keys. "Yeah, otherwise she'd be throwing her usual tantrum when she doesn't get enough sleep. Reminds me of someone else I know…" He smirked as I smacked his shoulder.

He got out of the car and came on the other side of me to open my door. He lent me a hand and I took it. He pulled me up and out of the car and I smiled as he pulled me close enough to kiss. His lips grazed mine as he spoke. "You look beautiful tonight."

I kissed him softly. "Thank you."

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "Be careful, there's black ice everywhere."

I nodded and looked around the ground as I shut the door and stood there. I watched Dean open the back door and get Riley out of her car seat. I looked up at the sky, my breath curling like smoke in the frigid air. I carefully walked closer to the door and watched Dean unbuckle a sleeping Riley's buckle. She whined softly and opened her eyes.

"Hey Peanut." Dean crooned. He gently stroked her face. "We're at the restaurant. You hungry?"

She reached for Dean. "Deee."

He smiled and lifted her into his arms. She seemed to wake up a little more after Dean closed the door and the cold air got to her. She kicked her legs and pulled on Dean's collar.

"So!" She pointed to the ground. "De! De! So!"

Dean chuckled and took my hand as we started walking to the restaurant. "Yeah, baby, you found snow." He kissed her head.

I squeezed Dean's hand and he laced our fingers as we walked into the restaurant. Way nicer than I would have imagined. It looked like a great big dining hall. It was beautiful. White and maroon colored cloths covered the round tables. There was a ton of beautiful crystal looking chandeliers and they made the glass and the silverware shine. Everyone that was dining was beautifully dressed up, like we were. It reminded me of the place that Dean had taken me for our one date. Cept we dined on the roof instead of in the actual building.

"Good evening." A young man with menus smiled at us. "Do you have reservations?"

Dean cleared his throat. "We're with the Winchester reservation. I'm sure they're already here."

"Ah, yes, right this way."

We followed him to the table and I could see everyone was already there, laughing at something my mother was saying yet again. I remembered her being the life of the party. There was a seat next to Jess, which I'm guessing was mine and a seat next to that one. The young man who had the menus set them down and mentioned he was going to get a highchair for Riley. Dean handed Riley to his mother while he took his coat off. He smiled and then took mine off as well as set it on the chair behind me. He placed a kiss on the back of my head before I sat down.

Mary handed Dean Riley as he took his seat. Mary smiled and Riley didn't let go of one of her long locks of blonde hair. She played with it until Dean gently untangled it from her hand. I helped Dean take Riley's jacket off and set it on my lap. Dean let Riley stand on his thighs until the waiter brought back the high chair.

"How many drinks am I behind?" Dean asked, looking at the random shots around my mother, Sam and John. Jess rolled her eyes at me and I smiled as Sam took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Four shots and a beer." John announced. "You can skip the beer though since that was at the house. We're ordering you four shots however."

My mother chuckled. "Drink up, sexy." The whole table laughed and I blushed like crazy.

The waiter brought the highchair to the table and Dean gently strapped Riley in. He scooted his chair closer to mine and stretched his arm across the back of it. We put the order of our food in and John ordered Dean his four shots.

I looked around the table as the food was brought a few minutes later. Sam was holding Jess's hand and he was smiling close to her head. He was whispering things in her ear and she was blushing and smiling. And then they started kissing. My heart ached for Sam. He was so happy. So unlike the person I knew. I liked him this way. He deserved to be happy. And Jess deserved to be alive.

My mother was happy, despite my father being gone. She was just happy with the fact that she had a family. She smiled at me. The fact that her daughter was happy and that I had a small family of my own. I smiled back.

John and Mary were happy and better yet they were alive. No yellow eyed demon torturing them and their children for years after Mary's death. Everything was just so perfectly normal. I looked at Dean and smiled as I saw him trying to feed Riley some small spaghetti pieces. She was eating it and she liked it obviously but she was getting it everywhere. Dean wiped her face off with a napkin as she ate.

It was normal. So normal. I deserved normal didn't I? After everything, didn't I deserve this life? I looked up from the table and across the room. My breath caught in my throat as I saw those same two deathly looking girls that had appeared to me in my closet. I couldn't take my eyes off them and their stares felt like they were choking me.

I guess I really didn't deserve a normal life. Not really.

0o0o0o0o

"You were pretty quiet on the way back to the house." Dean said softly, opening the front door. He turned the hall light on and set Riley down. She quickly disposed of her jacket and ran towards the stairs. "Go get your pajamas on, Peanut. Careful up the stairs." She stopped at the bottom and looked at Dean. I picked up her jacket off the floor. "Don't run."

She giggled and carefully made her way up the stairs. "I'm sorry." I took off my jacket and took Dean's as well. I decided to put them in the closet near the door instead of all the way upstairs. Hated that damn closet. "I guess I'm just tired." And the fact that I had to leave this life. Right after Dean and Riley fell asleep.

"Well then," I gasped as Dean picked up in his arms and started carrying me upstairs. I smiled. "No use for walking then."

"What about Sam and Jess?"

"They have a key, they know where the spare bedroom is and they know the walls are thick so we can't hear them." I grimaced and Dean chuckled, lying me down on the bed. He kissed my neck. "And more importantly. They can't hear us."

I laughed and stroked his hair as I lifted my lips up to his. He kissed deep like he was trying to dig for something long lost. He curled hair around my ear and gently laid his body overtop of mine. I skillfully undid his tie as I kissed him, and when I say skillfully I mean I managed not to choke him as I did it with my eyes closed. I threw it aside and kicked off my heels. I heard his shoes hit the floor a few moments later.

I heard little footsteps approach the doorway and kissed Dean one more time before Riley made her presence. "Dott."

Dean turned his head, but didn't pick up his body from on top of me. "I think he's in the car, sweetie. Want me to go get him?" She nodded her head. "Alright, but then its time for bed."

She shook her head and looked back at her room and then at Dean, a small whimper escaping her pouty lips. "Moster."

My eyebrows scrunched. "Monster?"

She nodded and came into the room. Dean gently lifted himself from me and picked Riley up. He set her on the bed. "There's a monster in your room?" Dean asked, a slight put on of wonder in his voice. Its exactly how you were supposed to talk to a child when they mentioned a monster in their room. Because monsters weren't real. Well, I convinced myself of that fact in this world.

I'm sure demons and spirits and monsters like that son of a bastard yellow eyes was plenty real. They were just no where near my family.

Riley played with her pajama shirt. She was in all pink, a glittery unicorn on her shirt. She pointed to it and looked at me. "Horwse."

I smiled and kissed her head. "That's right baby, a horse."

Dean leaned up and kissed my cheek and changed into his pajamas. "Riley." She looked at him after a moment. "Want to sleep in here tonight? There's no monsters in here."

She stood on the bed and started jumping on the bed with a silly grin on her face. I sat up and made sure she didn't jump and land wrong. Dean chuckled and left his shoes on. "I'll go get Dott."

He left the room and headed downstairs. I watched Riley jump and finally she laid down on the bed, completely exhausted. Her little belly was moving up and down like waves in and ocean. I ran my hand over her tummy and she giggled and turned on her side. I got off of bed and went through the drawers near the door. I found some cotton pajama bottoms and slipped them on. I turned to look at Riley to make sure she was okay before I completely turned away to slip my bra off and put a tank on.

I laid back down on the bed and pulled Riley onto my chest. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and started sucking, pushing her face into my chest as she closed her eyes. I stroked her back and felt tears fill my eyes. I didn't want to leave, it wasn't fair. I loved it here.

"Hey," Dean came back into the room and crawled in bed. "She asleep?"

I looked down at her. "Just about, I think." I smiled. "She jumped her little heart out."

Dean ran his hand through her hair. "Yeah, loves to bounce, this one."

I gently set her between us and it was amazing me how she curled into Dean's arm. She nuzzled her face against his t-shirt. Dean smiled and turned on his side to face her and pulled her into his chest. He carefully set the bear against the headboard. I leaned on my side and curled my elbow, resting my head on my hand. "She's replaced me."

He smirked. "For tonight she has."

I sighed and ran my hand over Dean's other arm and pulled the blanket up to cover both of them. I scooted closer and I felt Dean's other hand slide down my side. He squeezed my waist.

"Feel like sleeping?" I asked.

His lips curled into a devilish grin. "You know what I feel like doing."

I laughed. "Well we obviously can't do that tonight."

He looked down at Riley and kissed her head. "Yeah, not tonight. There's always tomorrow."

I reached over and turned my bed side lamp off and kissed Dean's lips a few times. "Yeah," I admitted softly, trying to mask sadness. "Always tomorrow."

O0o0o0o0o

I didn't fall asleep. I waited until Dean started snoring and gently pulled myself from bed. I wanted to look at them one more time, to see Dean holding Riley. I bit my lower lip. But I had no time. I had to get to that warehouse and figure out what the fuck was going on. Bring a knife too, I knew where they were in the kitchen now. I felt like writing a note to Dean, to Sam. To everyone in this life I'd be leaving behind. But I had to remember it wasn't real. None of it. It was as real as Santa Claus and Tinker Bell.

I quickly changed into some jeans and left the tank on and grabbed a jacket. I glanced at the clock and then at Dean's sleeping form.

"Merry Christmas, Dean."

O0o0o0o

I quickly headed outside, two steak knives in my hands. I got into the Impala and turned the engine on, the familiar hum of the engine calming my nerves. I pulled out of the driveway, refusing to look back. I needed lamb's blood. A sliver knife dipped in lamb's blood. I was gonna hunt this son of a bitch. My blood raced. What I was born to do. My daddy's teaching weren't going to go to waste. I refused to dishonor his good name; what he died for.

I wondered if there was a butcher shop open but as I looked at the time again I found that less and less likely. Thank God I was used to breaking into places. I stopped at a phone booth and looked around to see if a phone book was somewhere in the booth. Should have thought of this back home. Finally I found one, wasn't far either. Right down the street and a few left turns.

Breaking in wasn't hard either. Wasn't the best part of town. I was surprised no one had broken in before me. I took as much as a small jar would hold, I didn't need much. I was trying to hurry. I had been here too long and I couldn't imagine what kind of shape my body was in. My heart nearly stopped. What shape my baby was in. Why the fuck hadn't I thought of that? I mean, I knew time was different between here and there. That two days here probably equaled twenty minutes there. But Jesus fuck Andy, what kind of mother are you?

I sped to the warehouse, getting there after a half an hour of driving. I was lucky I had been paying attention when Dean had been driving. I parked the car and hurried in. Once I reached the stairs however, I froze, blood and knives in my hands. I gently set the jar down and opened it. I dipped one of the knives into it. Suddenly I heard crying and creeped down the stairs a little and peeked just enough to see what was going on without getting caught.

Oh god. The girl. The girl I kept seeing. That was her. She was chained to the ceiling and deathly pale. Her clothes were covered in dirt and blood and her skin looked bruised, her hair haggard. And there was the bastard that put me here in the first place. I gripped the knife in my hand, the wood of the handle digging into my skin. She jerked away from the Djinn and thrashed wildly. I gave her point. She had a huge needle in her throat, stripping her of her blood. It nearly made me vomit. When the Djinn touched her face and she fell back into an unconsciousness, it took the nozzle from the IV back full of blood and squirted it into its mouth. I felt my stomach lurch. Gross.

I crept further down the stairs. I reached the bottom, the slurping on the nozzle going straight to my stomach. I raised the knife as I got closer and I froze as the thing put the nozzle back on the IV bag. Before I knew it I was kicked in the chest and I fell back against the stairwell. The air was knocked out of me and I hit the back of my head hard off one of the stairs.

"Son of a bitch!" I kicked the damn thing hard as it went to touch my face again. I didn't know what the hell that would do. Put me in another dream world?

I got up, bones and muscles bitching, my head screaming. I kicked it again and again before it could get up again. When I went one more time it grabbed my leg and swung me into some nearby cargo boxes. I swear some of the wood punctured my back. It came over top of me, face with streaks of glowing blue. It grabbed my neck before I could move and I gagged as its fingers curled deep. As oxygen failed my system I tried turning my wrist, the one with the knife in it. I wanted to call for Dean and Sam. Wanted to scream for help. I closed my eyes and thrust deep, hoping to catch some part of its body. The last thing I heard was it scream and the last thing I saw was Riley.

O0o0o0o0

"Andy?" I heard beeping. An annoying shrill beeping nose. And Dean. That was Dean. I knew because it was smooth and caused an entire calm to sweep over my body.

"She awake yet?"

"No." Dean's voice was shaking. "Sam, what if she doesn't--"

"Stop, Dean." Sam cut him off and let out a scoff. "She doesn't give up like this."

I felt my hand travel to Dean's face as he lifted it, his nose and mouth running over my palm. Why couldn't I open my eyes? I felt so weak. I managed to get out a whimper and I felt Dean's face shoot up from my hand.

"Andy?"

I swallowed and opened my eyes, but just barely. "D-Dean?"

He rushed up from his seat, with Sam cautioning the hell out of him to be careful and pulled me into his arms. He hugged me tight, cinnamon cascading down my body like warm water in a shower. I heard Sam sigh, relieved.

I cleared my throat and gathered the energy to wrap my arms around Dean's back and squeezed him once before I couldn't. He gently set me back against the pillow and I looked around. I groaned. "Guys, I'm in a hospital."

Dean managed to chuckle, but I saw tears lacing his eyelashes. "Yeah, babe, that's what happens when a genie tries to filter blood out of your body."

I laced my fingers with Dean's as Sam sat on the other side of me, careful of the IV tubing. Great, like I wasn't hooked up to this all day already. "Wonderful. I made a pact that I wouldn't come back here till I had Riley." My eyes shot to Dean and worried tears filled my eyes. "Riley. Oh god, is she okay?"

Sam carefully put a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Andy."

"Shhh." Dean leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Riley's fine. They're doing a blood transfusion, even though you didn't lose a lot of blood."

Sam cleared his throat. "Unlike your boyfriend over there…"

"Leave it, Sam." Dean shot and Sam quieted. They had obviously had had this fight the moment they got in this building.

"And…it was weird. The way we found you…he didn't chain you to the ceiling. He just, laid you down on the ground. And the fact it didn't drain you like he did Dean." Sam said after a moment, softer and carefully. "Like the damn thing knew you were pregnant."

I swallowed and looked at Dean. He sighed and got up from the chair and sat on my bed. He pulled me into his side and kissed the top of my head. "Its okay. Don't worry about it now." I could tell Dean was giving Sam death glares. "You're safe. Riley's safe. Its okay."

Sam stood and kissed my head as well. "I'll get the doctor."

He left the room and I looked up at Dean. He smiled softly and grazed his lips over mine. I pushed up into his lips eagerly and he cupped my face as he kissed me.

"I was so worried." He said softly.

I nodded. "Yeah, me too. Did you, uhm, have a Twilight Zone third dimension thing too?"

He smirked. "Yeah." He pulled back a little and rubbed the back of his head. He sighed softly. "I didn't want to leave."

"I know what you mean." I rubbed my nose against his jacket.

"Why? Your husband Matt Damon?"

I pulled back and he had that same grin on his face. I rolled my eyes and smacked his thigh. "It was you, you asshole." He smiled. "And…Riley was beautiful. She loved you so much." I rubbed his thigh now, tracing shapes. My voice got softer as I spoke. "And my mom was alive. Jess too and your parents. It was perfect."

Dean scoffed. "I swear I had nearly the same dream. Cept my dad was still dead."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "I was still really happy." He smiled, cupping my face again. "You were so happy."

I smiled a little. If anything the genie taught me, it was this. "I'm so happy right now. With you and Sam and Riley. And I don't want to wish for anything more."

Dean smiled and his lips met mine. "Likewise."

o0o0o0o0o0

reviews would be nice ;D it convinces me to update ;D