A/N: I've had the most horrifying week ever. I have no idea why, but from Monday on things seemed to go downhill. I had tons of homework at school, my mother went into the hospital, I've had headache after headache, and everyone around me is freaking out over this sickness that has the world at the edge of their seats even though we're nowhere near it. And there's no pistachio ice cream left! D: Hopefully writing this chapter will cheer me up.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I do not own any pistachio ice cream right now either.

Rules Of Engagement

Chapter 5: Blonds That Think

"Itachi, yeah, is this really a good idea? We shouldn't leave your father alone, yeah…"

"Father will be fine, Deidara. Now let's go."

There were eight words in those sentences. Deidara had counted them over and over again just to make sure. Eight words. Eight words couldn't do that much harm, could they? No, they couldn't hurt anyone. Even in the mouth of Uchiha Itachi they didn't mean much.

Because eight wasn't really a transcendental number! One word—'no'—could shatter one's world, two words—'I'm sorry'—were the hardest ones to say, and three words—'I love you'—could be the most beautiful things one could ever hear. But eight words? Who had heard such a thing as eight words?

Plus, it was Itachi. Sure, he was a nut job like his family, but at least he was a self-controlled nut job.

Except when it came to Sasuke, apparently.

"You should have known this would happen," Itachi spoke angrily, scolding him. "You should have warned me."

Deidara stared at him, disbelieving. "We kidnapped someone, yeah. What exactly did you expect to happen? For everyone just to agree with us, yeah?!"

"Yes. I did expect them to agree," Itachi answered matter-of-factly, and Deidara had never before felt such an impulse to just punch him square on the face.

"You're unbelievable, yeah," He mumbled finally, crossing his arms and leaning back on the stiff plastic chair he had sat on. It was in moments like these that he wondered what the hell had he seen in Itachi in the first place. Whatever it was, it was awesome, if he was putting up with this and actually joining the brunet in his little missions of terrorizing cities and giving the Oto police a bad name for it.

God, he hated loving Itachi.

After the Konoha police had come around Naruto's grandparents' house and took everyone to the station—save for the grandparents themselves who were busy doing stuff loudly—Itachi had taken advantage of the confusion to escape from the station. He already had to deal with Sasuke, what did he want another angry Uchiha for?

Deidara had foolishly decided to follow him. In reality, there wasn't much else he could do. Stay and mingle with other cops? He thought not. He did that every day, and it wasn't really interesting nowadays. Stay and talk with Naruto and Sasuke? That was a death wish. Stay and wait with Fugaku? He wasn't going to choose being with his boss over being with his eternal love any day.

So they had gone together to kidnap the jeweller. And now they were under arrest.

Well, it wasn't really arrest. Yamato, the chief in Konoha, had explained them between snickers that it was really to protect them.

"At least the blond kid has his mother now and they're giggling and dancing all around the station, but the brunet is still seething," Yamato said. "His parents are on the way, but still, it'll be a while before we get a solution to The Mom Problem. Stay here in my office 'till he isn't angry."

It would be a long time before that happened.

A really long time.

Normally, Deidara wouldn't have any objections of spending time with Itachi. He still loved the guy, that was clear to everyone, and even if he only received indifference and irritation back he still liked to hang out with the Uchiha. Just being with him was nice.

What was bothering Deidara about Itachi right now was how he had absolutely no regard for what the blond would feel about his whole kidnapping plan. Or how hefelt about Itachi assuming that Deidara would participate in said plan.

It was enough having Fugaku acting like the blond didn't have a mind of his own. He didn't need Itachi to do it, too.

Deidara sighed tiredly. Itachi raised an eyebrow at him. "What's with the sighing?"

"Nothing you care about, yeah." Deidara replied rather dryly, surprising the brunet for a few seconds.

He answered, "But I do."

"Nah, yeah," the blond insisted, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. "You don't care, yeah. You're just curious."

It was Itachi's turn to sigh. "Ah, you know me too well."

"We used to be in a relationship, remember, yeah?"

"I have bad eyesight, but my memory's great, Deidara."

Deidara immediately frowned at that, but there was an amused glint in his eyes. "Yeah, right. Your memory's great when you need to remember bad stuff, yeah, but you're terrible remembering the nice things I do for you, yeah."

Itachi almost pouted, but restrained himself on time. "I remember the nice things you do for me all the time!"

"Name one, yeah."

Itachi didn't have to go very far back. "You helped me kidnap a man for a terrible reason."

Gray-blue eyes rolled. "Oh, that, yeah."

The Uchiha smirked back in victory. The friendly argument would have continued if it wasn't for the fact there was a commotion coming from outside Yamato's office. Both Deidara and Itachi looked over to the door and then to the window, trying to see through the blinds.

"Open them, yeah." Deidara told Itachi. Itachi glared at him, as if saying 'how dare you order me around?', but either way he opened them.

The sight that greeted them was, well, one of a kind.

There was Naruto, bouncing cheerfully along with a redheaded woman squealing and giggling as Mikoto and Sasuke watched them, shaking their heads with half-smiles.

They would never do something like Naruto was doing now, of course.

As he walked through the doors of the police station, Namikaze Minato couldn't help but to feel uneasy. Really, nobody blamed him, because the last time he had been here was for drug possession and that was an experience he never wanted to live through again.

Treated like a criminal, when he didn't even know those lollipops that girl had given him at the party had been ecstasy… He really hadn't known!

But ever since that episode, he had been clean. There had been no need to step inside the station, except of course, that one time Naruto had called him and asked him to pick him up. Now that he thought about it, his son had never mentioned why he had been there in the first place, but Minato remembered seeing those teammates of his there, too.

Kushina often said it almost seemed as Minato had developed some sort of phobia of police in general. He couldn't say he didn't see where she was coming from—he supposed some sort of suspicion had to arise after he had a panic attack just because a cop had said 'hi' to them—but still he would deny it with all his heart. She thought it was cute.

However, as he was saying before he had to explain his life story, he was uneasy as he walked through the doors of the police station. Kushina had been the one to answer the late (or was it early? It was 3:00 a.m.) phone call, and she had refused to tell him what it was about until they got here.

The first person he saw was Uchiha Fugaku.

He was quite different from the last time Minato had seen him, but that had been almost twenty years ago, so it made sense. His hair was a shade lighter than back now, and he had frown lines on his face. He wasn't nearly as scrawny as then, either. Now he had some muscle.

Minato hadn't changed one bit. His hair was longer, but apart from that, he was still the same guy than he was during their youth. So if the Uchiha decided to look his way, he'd be certainly and most assuredly doomed. If Minato had been Fugaku and he saw himself walk through the door, he'd jump and kill himself.

But Fugaku wasn't watching him. He was talking to another man, probably in his twenties, who looked like Fugaku to an alarming degree. Well, better for Minato.

It was then that Kushina, next to him, squealed in a rather high pitch that made her nearly-husband cringe—they had never married, they couldn't bring themselves to commit to each other like that—when she saw their son Naruto walking towards them. He looked pissed off and tired until he saw his mother, and then started bouncing and squealing with her.

It was then that Minato saw her.

Like himself, Mikoto hadn't aged. The only different thing there was about her was that her hair was much longer than before, but that was okay with Minato. He had always thought she should have let her hair grow. Fugaku had always thought so, too—maybe he had been the one to finally convince her.

Something inside Minato decided that it was better if he didn't see her. They hadn't talked in a long time, and they had ended on bad terms, so why would she want to see him now? Kushina had always been able to deal with whatever Naruto and Sasuke's messes had been, he'd just wait in the car and—

"Minato! Come here!"

—he loved Kushina. He really did.

The blond man forced himself to grin as he walked over to his son and his redheaded mother. He realized Sasuke was also with them, shifting his eyes from his own mother to Naruto and then to Minato himself. When his eyes met Minato's he attempted to smile, but failed pathetically.

"What's up, people?" He asked cheerfully as he reached them. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand and started bouncing again. "We're getting married!"

No surprise there. Minato had seen it coming from the first time he had met Sasuke.

"Finally, eh? Great to hear!" He joked, chuckling a little. He looked around. "So… Any good reason to tell us this in the police station?"

"Minato, of course there's a good reason!" Kushina scolded him, a vein throbbing in her left temple. "Naru-chan wouldn't call us at 3:00 a.m. while in the police station to tell us he's engaged for nothing! Would you, Naru-chan?"

Sasuke smirked at the nickname his mother-in-law had for the blond. Naruto blushed. "Mom! Don't call me that!"

"She won't call you that if you tell us why you called in the first place, Naruto," Minato assured his son.

Kushina nodded vigorously and exclaimed, "I promise!"

"That would be my fault…" Mikoto spoke for the first time to them, a little shyly. Her voice was a little squeaky. "…There was a little mess and we had to come to the station. It is over now, though. We can all go home peacefully."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. "'Little mess'? 'Go home peacefully'? Hn, yeah right."

Mikoto blushed and looked away. "Okay, 'big mess' and 'go home to be bothered by me again'. Better, sweetie?"

"Much better. And I don't think you have met." Sasuke looked to Minato and Kushina and then to his mother. "These are Naruto's parents, Kushina and Minato."

Mikoto and Naruto shared a look. Right, Sasuke didn't know about his parents' love story. They had forgotten to tell him, after the whole mess with their fights and their engagement and Christmas in general.(1)

"Hello!" Kushina smiled at Mikoto immediately. She had caught the idea, and decided she wouldn't take Sasuke out of his ignorance. "You must be Mikoto! We've heard wonders of you and your cooking!"

"Have you now? That's great." The Uchiha answered with a smile. "I'm glad Naruto liked my food while he stayed with us!"

"How could I not?" Naruto wondered with a foxy grin. "Despite the conversations that arise while eating, it was the greatest food I ever had, Mikoto-san."

Kushina feigned being offended. "You like her food better than mine, Naru-chan?"

"Of course I do. She calls me Naruto, not Naru-chan."

"Naruto is 'fishcake', idiotic son. The way I see it, she's insulting you."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up, surprised. "But you named me Naruto!"

"Actually, I did, son." Minato cleared his throat as he spoke and then mumbled, "Sorry about that."

Naruto glared at his father. "Oh, did you now?"

Minato didn't like something about the expression on the other blonds' face right then. He couldn't figure out what, though, so he nodded with a grin.

"Then, let's go meet Sasuke's father, Fugaku!" Naruto stated, and the grin on Minato's face instantly faltered.

Oh, this was going to be great.

(1) It's true! I checked!

A/N: How will Minato and Fugaku handle their reunion? What will happen with Itachi and Deidara's relationship? What about Naruto and Sasuke? All this and more next chapter I hope! It did cheer me up writing this thing :) And in the process, my grandmother came around with pistachio ice cream so I was really cheered up! :D Bye bye!

—Not Really Yours