DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!EXCEPT FOR THE PLOT THAT IS!

A/N: hya all! Sorry it's been so long! But I've been hit with the inspiration stick so I'm updating. To the reviewers:

DragonFaynge: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you think so!

Smile1: I'll try to keep it original! Thanks for reviewing!

Spuffyrocks: it's going into all of it before during and after! Thanks for R&R-ing!

Utopist: thanks for reviewing! Please update 72 Miles Apart soon!

everybody else! Thanks for reading!

Okay here's chapter two!

I gasped. It can't be him…I buried my nose back in the book and turned the page, continuing on with the story.

Part One
CH 1
"It's like I'm Cursed."

I was born in New York City on September 14th, 1986. I grew up in the east village in a small house with my mom and my twin sister Anna. It wasn't the greatest life a guy could ask for but it was all I had. Anna and I were inseparable we were best friends. But I lost her and I've always been blaming it on myself. My uncle Luke tells me it wasn't my fault but in my opinion it was. I'll recount what happened so you can decide for yourself.

"Hey Ann!" I said as I walked into the room I shared with my sister.

"You rhymed! Hey Jessy!" she said with a smile. I smiled back at her and then scowled. I hate it when people call me that.

"Don't call me Jessy, its just Jess!" I said stubbornly.

"Fine…hey JESS!" she said as she rolled her eyes at me. I smirked.

"Anna, do think our tenth birthday counts for today too?"I asked curiously.

"Nope!" she said brightly,"Mom says that we only have ONE birthday a year!" I frowned.'Darn' I thought.

"Hey lets play racecar!" I said with a grin on my face.

"YEAH!" she yelled as we ran out the door into the hallway. I took my mom's car keys off the bookshelf andput on my dads old black leather jacket and sunglasses. She put on our mom's shawl and necklace and we went outside.

"Hop in!" I said cooly in a fake deep voice.

"KAY!" she said in a fake high pitched girly voice. We got in the car and I put the keys in the ignition.

"We like totally need tunes. You can't go on a roadtrip without 'em." I said. I turned the keys and turned the radio on Anna began to fiddle with the clutch, or as we called it then, the PRINDL.

"What do you think the D stands for?" she asked me, I looked at the other things on the clutch and noticed the R. 'It must stand for rock' I thought.

"Hmmm…dance!" I said decisively.She smiled and turned it to the D.

"I like dancing!" she said, smiling. Suddenly we began to move. I was terrified and I didn't realize that my foot was pressing the gas. We rolled down the driveway, across the street and into a tree. I looked out the window. People were starting to gather around. Anna started to freak out. She looked like she was having a fit or something, she wouldn't stop. She hit her head on the dash and suddenly was deathly still. I did what any ten year old would do…I ran to get my mom. I opened the door and ran inside screaming. "MOM! SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH ANNA!"She hurried behind me as I ran back to the car where my sister was lying. She seemed to recognize this and she called 911. An ambulance showed up and took her away.

"Mom, what's wrong with Anna?" I asked her, my voice cracking and tears in my eyes. She sighed and looked downat me.

"Hunny, your sister has heart problems and the collision started them up again. She went unconscious." she explained to me calmly. She called a cab and we went down to the hospital to wait to see if she was okay. The doctor came out and said that they weren't able to save her. In other words my twin sister and best friend was dead. Mom started doing drugs more often than usual you know drinking and smoking. She smacked me a few times after we got home that day saying that I shouldn't have been playing with the car. I haven't cried like I did that day since because every time I did mom would hit me and say that I should just suck it up and be a man, it was all my fault she was dead.

So that's what happened. My life hasn't been the same since I swear its like I'm cursed first it was Anna in a car accident then my three best friends, Cory, Justin, and Jordyn.

"I want ice cream!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. The twin's older brother Cory came out into the living room.

"Me too! Hey Jordyn, you and Justin wanna come get ice cream with us?"he asked them.She smiled and nodded, as did her twin brother Justin.He turned of the nintendo and walked over to us Jordyn took the keys off the mantle and shooed us outside.

"How come you get to drive?" Jordyn whined.

"Because I'm seventeen, and have my license, and you're fourteen and, well, don't." he smirked at her and we all got in the car. We drove to the good ice cream place on the other side of town.

"I WANT ROCKY ROAD!" I yelled.I opened the car door and we went inside. Cory went to the counter and orderd us our ice crem cones. We sat in the parlor eating them and talking. I didn't know that it would be the last time I would talk to the three siblings. On the way back a drunken cab driver hit us headlong. Jordyn and I flew from the car and the car began to smoke until it caught fire and blew up.

I landed on a trampoline in somebody's front yard and bounced off it onto the grass. Jordyn flew farther and landed on the cement. They rushed us to the hospital and I got out with a minor concussion. Jordyn died a few hours after I was released. I didn't cry, I couldn't cry, I wouldn't cry. I was depressed, everyone was gone, I was alone, and not one person was left who actually gave a shit about me.

Car accidents are very traumatic for me now I can't see one or be in one and not be scared shitless. It's why I was so screwed up before. And being screwed up is why I didn't graduate from high school the first time around. See I told you it wasn't a happy story. To those of you who haven't closed the book by now to read something less disturbing: I'm amazed. If this is the beginning of the story you can bet that my life was no fairy tale…I still don't know if I'll get a happily ever after…personally I don't know if I want one. But I think I'll live this life out.

Wow…I'm pouring my heart out to complete strangers…never thought I'd see the day (if that even makes sense). Well this was only the beginning of my problems each one more worse than the next. I kind of wish my life was more normal like everybody else. You know happy with parents who actually cared about me. Instead I got a whack-job mom and a screw up dad who split after I was born. Huh maybe I do take after him a little bit…we have something in common, we're both screw ups wishing they could change the past. I think if I had grown up in a less dangerous city with more caring parents than I wouldn't be so screwed up. I did a lot of growing up when I was supposed to have a childhood and be a kid.

When I was three I was more of an adult than my mother was. I spent all my time taking care of Anna and my mom so about the time I turned four my mind was turning about thirty. I had to be responsible. When you're four and raising yourself in NYC there is no room for fear. When everybody else was watching movies with their families I was looking for neighbors who wanted help with things to get money just incase mom forgot to go to work and got fired (again). When other kids were playing outside I was doing the shopping because who could count on Lizzie to remember to get food.

See what I'm talking about she barely remembered to take care of herself let alone us. After Anna died I stopped really caring. I kept to myself more then usual. Life sucked until a little after my twelfth birthday when I met the last true friends I'd have for a long time. Well, anyways, after Jordyn, Cory, and Justin died, I had no real friends. I brooded most of the time. Can you blame me? I mean I lost my best friends. Jordyn was the first girl I had ever liked as more then just a friend. She died before I got the chance to tell her.

It all went downhill from there. I started to smoke and drink just to forget the pain. Just a little at first then gradually more and more. Nothing ever was the same again.

It is him…I thought back to before he left…I sighed…is it too late? Is it too late to tell him how much I love him, how I wish I had gone after him? Maybe, but only time can tell me the answers to the questions I ask myself so frequently. I looked at the picture on my bedside table…he was smiling that day…I looked at the picture on the back of the book, that's not the Jess I remember he was smiling…to everybody else it was a real smile…but me, I could tell it was forced that wasn't a true Jess smile I groaned "Why did you go? What happened to the Jess I used to know? Will I ever see you again?" I heard a voice call in from the other room "Hon did you say something?" "No…nothing." She smiled at me "you sure? I thought I heard mention of the J-word." "I'm fine I promise" I lied. I would never be fine…not until I see him again, until I hear his voice. I sighed again and leaned back against the pillows, opened the book again, and threw myself into his world and life again.
A/N: so tell me did it suck? Did it rock? Should I continue? Who do you think the person is? Pleez Review by pressing the nice little bluish button. REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND…THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. The more feedback I get the faster I update…or well try to…FEL is on hold for I have to rewrite chap. 3 and the rest of the story cuz it is moving along too fast. Luv ya all!

Luv!

Trinity!

PS! I'm writing a new story cuz with how they ended season 5 they SO could bring Jess back into the story line!

T.