A/N: the words from this chapter are from the song Cry and it's by Rihanna. I thought it suited the chapter... I changed it from girl with a broken heart to guy with a broken heart though.
Hidan's POV
What the fuck was I thinking? Why the hell did I lick his blood away? I love Kakuzu, not Deidara! Okay, who am I kidding? I hate Kakuzu. It's Deidara I love. I wandered down the main street in Yuki, going to see if Deidara would forgive me for being stupid like that. I ran away and he was bleeding. I only know he's still alive because Itachi came up to me and told me I wasn't ever going to talk to Deidara again. I love to blonde too much to avoid him.
I knocked on the blonde's door and wasn't surprised when the blonde answered with a shout of 'it's open'. I saw the blonde sitting near his piano, fiddling with the keys. He didn't look up and continued to play his song. I sat on the couch behind him and listened in awe as he played.
"My mind is gone, I'm spinning 'round, and deep inside my tears I'll drown. I'm losing grip, what's happening? I strayed from love, this how I feel. This time was different, felt like I was just a victim. And it cut me like a knife, when you walked out of my life, now I'm in this condition and I've got all the symptoms, of a guy with a broken heart. But no matter what you'll never see me... This time was different, felt like I was just a victim. And it cut me like a knife, when you walked out of my life, now I'm in this condition and I've got all the symptoms, of a guy with a broken heart. But no matter what you'll never see me... cry... all my life..." Deidara stopped singing and looked at me. His cheeks turned bright red and he looked away. "You shouldn't be here Hidan."
"I know. Itachi told me to leave you alone. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." I stood up to leave when I saw his tears. "Deidara? What's wrong?"
"What are you sorry for?" he asked, his face streaked with tears. "For taking my blood? Or for running away? Isn't taking someone's blood a sign of your love? That's what you told me. I'm used to you running away when I'm in an emotional breakdown. I just guess you hate the waterworks. I would hate comforting me all the time too."
Did I really seem that uncaring to him? I love him and I don't want to show it. I swallowed my pride and looked him in the eyes. "For both. I'm sorry for upsetting you. I am not a very good friend... and I don't mean to be so selfish."
I walked out of his house before he could deny that I was being a bloody evil friend. I surprised myself as I ran to the forest so I could sacrifice some heathen that crossed my path. I realised that I was uncaring and cold towards my best friend. I really suited the song he was singing, but not in a good way. I hid every emotion from him. I wouldn't cry, smile or even blush in front of him. All he ever saw was anger. I sighed and slashed at the baka who had tried to restrain me from swinging at a tree.
The night was fleeting as I sat in the forest and prayed. I knew someone would be worried, but it wouldn't be Itachi or Deidara. Kakuzu...? Maybe. Depends when our next moneymaking mission is. I doubt Sasori would give a pennyworth about me and Kisame only would because he acts like my father all the time. As the sun rose I heard a person smashing through the forest, swearing. It was the Uchiha's voice and he was calling me a set of colourful names. I just sat and waited for the ultimate punishment for visiting Deidara. I was surprised when he passed within two metres of me and didn't even look. He was heading towards my hot springs. Did Deidara betray me and give away my secret. Sure enough, as I stalked my searcher, I found him at my hot springs, looking for me with a much nicer tone.
I stepped out from behind him and hit him on the back of the head. "What do you want, baka?"
"Deidara is in hospital and he told me to look for you here. He was found by me last night, with a blade through his wrist." His tone was harsh and accusatory. I realised he thought I'd tried to kill Deidara and grabbed my scythe.
"Look. I didn't try to kill Deidara. I've been out here all night and I only saw him for like, a minute yesterday to apologise to him."
"I told you to stay away from my blonde. He's not yours and next time you go anywhere near him I'll kill you!" Itachi hissed, leaning in for effect. I nodded and meant it.
"C'mon you slow stitched fuck! I wanna get home so that I can meet up with Kisame. We're going out for dinner!" It'd been two years since I'd last seen Deidara and I'd started to date Kisame instead. I know it's weird. "Please, I'll pay you."
"No. I'm tired. Pay me anything and I still wouldn't go fast. Oh, and Hidan? We're supposed to do a mission with Sasori and De... and his partner soon." I froze. Fuck. A mission with Deidara... the name was even taboo for me. I was afraid if I said his name he'd pop up and say hi.
"I'm not going. You can use someone else." I was shaking; this wasn't going to help me with getting over it. I'd been in hospital over twenty times since I'd last seen Deidara and nineteen of those twenty times were self-inflicted from depression. "I can't hurt Deidara again. I also swore that I'd never talk to him again. I promised Itachi!"
"And you're just going to let the Uchiha tramp all over you? You hate his sharingan using ass. I just think you're scared."
I shook my head, he was right but it wasn't of Itachi. I'd avoided Deidara so easily for the first two months and I kept seeing him on the news or on the teams photos, and I'd actually gone insane and tried to kill myself... Kisame had stopped me and I owed him. He still acts like a father but it's more than that sometimes. I don't love him like I loved Deidara but I loved him like a brother, like I loved Kakuzu.
"I can't see him. He'd hate me now..." I spoke quietly but I knew Kakuzu could hear me. He laughed and I looked up. "What the fuck?"
"Look, you just sound like you love him. You're just too afraid of the Uchiha... admit it. Either that or you don't want to hurt the blondie again." I looked up, startled. Was I really that obvious?
"I'm still not going on the fucking mission! Pein can't make me." I spoke too soon.
The next day I kissed Kisame goodbye and sighed as Pein glared at me. He'd even come out to see us off, and Kisame had just broken off with me. I'd changed a lot more than anyone knew. Not only had I dyed my hair black, I'd also changed with the amount of Jashinist obsessed stuff I did. I spoke rarely and when I did it wasn't usually about Jashin. I'd been so out of it that I didn't even diss Kakuzu for half a fucking year! I grinned at my partner and we set off to where we'd meet Deidara and Sasori in two days.
"Remind me again why I'm needed?"
"We need a distraction for when Deidara and Sasori attack. I'm with Sasori and you're with Deidara. You just need to act like your old, sadistic self. Lop off any heads you see. Crap like that. Kay?" I sighed but nodded.
We got to the meeting place with two hours to spare. We'd walked through the day and rested during the night, the opposite of our usual. I rested with my back against a heap of rocks. I was just about asleep when an annoying voice popped up. It was one I'd missed but it was still annoying.
"Kakuzu-san! It's good to see you, hm. I missed you, un!" I was hidden by the rocks but I could see Sasori and he was grinning at me, trying to give me confidence. I sat back, still unsure about what I was doing. "Where's Hidan-sama?"
Ouch, the title was so distant... not that I could blame him. I stood up, nodding at the blonde. My promise was running through my head, making me feel sick. I smiled at the blonde and waved, but I knew my smile wasn't near touching my eyes. My hands were slick with sweat and I quickly rubbed my hands on my pants. The black mop of hair was in my eyes and Deidara looked at Kakuzu.
"Who... who is that? Where's Hidan-sama?" Deidara sounded slightly unsure as I sighed.
"Listen, Deidara. That is..." Kakuzu started but I cut in.
"It's me you stupid idiot. Are you fucking blind?!" I didn't grin at him now. I was slightly offended but that was just part of the whole haven't seen you in two years crap. "What you staring at, jackass?"