Now I must say goodbye

Keep telling myself 'now don't you cry'

But I'm here where I belong

I'll see you soon, it won't be long

Amy McDonald - The Road to Home

A few years after losing her Mother, she'd found a book in the school library that talked of death; suggesting that your life flashed before you and there was a bright tunnel of light. For a long time it'd plagued her thoughts, trying to determine what snippets of life would have flashed through her Mother's mind as the truck slammed into their car; whether it would have been memories of her children, or of her own childhood. She'd tried also to imagine what thoughts and memories might flash through her own mind on death.

As she grew older the thoughts and concerns dissipated; hoping it was something that she wouldn't experience until she was old and grey, when she had children and grandchildren and a lifetime of happiness to fill her memories.

:-:-:

Being shot didn't hurt as much as she expected; a searing pain that was over in an instant. The cold that came next was the agony that lasted.

As she lay on the floor of the diner, hearing the shouts, the chill crept through her toes and fingers. She remembered the summer her brothers played Little League; 'you're too young' and 'you're just a girl' was what they taunted her with from the field. The following year she'd played too, hitting a home run in her first game.

As he sat with her in the car, sobbing her name, the chill swept through her limbs. She remembered the winter she'd broken her leg; the first outing of the ski season sidelining her for the whole winter. Trying to push the cold from her mind, she thought of standing in the cupola of St Peter's Basilica, the sun searing her shoulders.

As she lay on the gurney, hearing the medics around her, the chill consumed her. She fought hard to remember riding the Circle Line with him.

:-:-:

She sat crossed legged on the sofa, dressed in his worn NYPD t-shirt and eating the breakfast he'd made; eggs over easy and crispy turkey bacon, just the way she liked.

"But the Circle Line's for tourists...and kids...and it's cold! That's how you want to spend your one day off Jess?!" he frowned, a little incredulously.

"But I like ferry boats, and I like the view of the city." She widened her chocolate brown eyes, nibbling her bottom lip a little, "Please Don?"

They both knew it was a look he couldn't resist and he growled in despair, "That's not fair, you know I can't say no when you do that!"

She grinned deviously, leaning to lick a dribble of the syrup he insisted on pouring on his bacon from the corner of his mouth, and then kissing him deeply. "I know; but you get to choose something for us to do today as well."

He contemplated her bargaining for a split second, before pulling the plate from her hand and scooping her into his arms. Her shrieks of laughter quelled as he dumped her on the bed, peeling the t-shirt from her body and claiming her lips.

Pausing above her, ignoring her whimper of complaint, he drank her in, "Christ Jess, you're beautiful. I..." Her lips silenced him and his intended words were forgotten as he drove into her, instead streaming profanities of worship and adulation.

:-:-:

She teased him as they stood on empty deck, the air chilling their bodies and the breeze whipping through the ends of her hair. "You look very pleased with yourself Donald, did you do something clever this morning?!"

Pulling her flush against him, he wrapped his arms around her and tenderly tugged her hat a little lower on her ears before laughing, dirtily, against the knitted wool, "I might have done Jessica..."

They gazed in awe as they glided along the skyline of the city they served; sun shimmering on high rise windows and lost in their own private world.

As they swept back towards the Seaport, staring out across the Hudson, she snuck into his arms once more. Brushing her icy nose against his before burrowing her face into the crook of his neck, she hugged him tightly. She held him silently until they passed the Statue of Liberty, then breathed "Je t'aime...I love you Don."

His arms tightened around her, sighing and heart soaring, and as Brooklyn came clearly into view whispered fiercely "I love you too Jess."