A/N: Here's the first chapter, don't forget to review and tell me if I should continue.

Bella Swan

Almost six weeks have past since the day in the police station. Within a week of the call I was back in Forks, the first time since I had been forced to leave it ten years ago.

My dad was distraught by what had happened. He seemed to understand straight away what I was doing and mostly asked me questions that involved gestures, the odd time that he wanted a descriptive answer he would hand me a notepad and pencil.

I was forced to see a counsellor about what had happened but it didn't seem to go very well. Charlie was told the results of the session and he joked later that even someone like him could have figured out I didn't want to talk without paying two hundred dollars.

Living with him was strange at first considering I have barely spent more than a week with him since I was seven and that was either camping or in a hotel somewhere.

I figured before we left that maybe being in different surroundings that did not contain bad memories would be helpful to making me more invisible. I certainly was having less panic attacks.

I was beginning to grow more perceptive of things around me. In a way it was a good thing, I could understand my dad's emotions better without asking him a thing.

In other ways, it was bad. I could see things that brought flashbacks everywhere. I couldn't go into the front room. I couldn't stare at certain things for too long. I freaked out when I heard certain words on the television.

I basically could not listen or watch the news or most things on television. I never was one for electronic entertainment unless it was my iPod but it was a problem to me that Charlie muted the television whenever I came downstairs.

I was growing anxious at the ever looming prospect of school tomorrow.

Not only was it going to be hard for me to get around without talking but I had never been social back in Phoenix. Friendships and relationships with other people in general were a mystery to me. I hadn't had friends since I left Forks.

What also bothered me was that because Forks was so small, there was a large possibility that people in my class might recognise me from before. It would be hard to explain why I am so different compared to the little girl who seemed so bright and sweet.

Hopefully my appearance has changed drastically since then.

I stared at my pale self in the bathroom mirror, almost disgusted by my own appearance.

My figure was thin, not bony, with curves that seemed out of place. I definitely was not athletic by my total lack of muscles. My hair was a dull brown, cut bluntly and quite thick. My eyes were the same brown; dull, flat, and boring. I avoided looking at my face.

After finding several hundred things to hate about my body, I decided to get some sleep so as I wouldn't be tired tomorrow.

I lay in bed for some time debating whether I could get to sleep without pills tonight. I sighed and reached for the bottle beside me, taking one out and swallowing it with the always ready glass of water. I listened to the patter of rain on the roof as I waited for the sleeping pill to kick in, the soft sound adding to the pull of unconsciousness. My eyes welled up again, the tears flowing down my cheeks for no reason… It felt as if my body was displaying emotion while inside I was numb.

--

I woke the next morning at six, the same time that I have woken up at for six years. I dressed quickly and checked I had everything in my bag. Forgetting something would just add to my list of problems today.

Charlie had left earlier for work and had entrusted me with his ancient truck that his father had bought.

I grabbed a sandwich and apple from the kitchen before getting the keys to the truck. I knew that getting cafeteria food would involve awkward situations and also having food ready would mean I could eat by myself.

Pulling on my jacket I couldn't help but compare my current mood to the rain outside the door. Dark and dismal.

Arriving at the school took less time than I anticipated and I was glad of that. Getting there early meant less people to deal with and more time to find my way around.

I pulled the truck into a spot close to the office and cluster of buildings and got out, heading towards the red-brick building in front of me.

I had recently discovered that keeping my mind occupied helps stop flashbacks or panic attacks. As I walked into the office I was running through poems that I had read a few weeks ago.

The interior of the office was annoyingly generic. Pale green walls were covered up with brightly coloured posters and flyers which advertised everything from a local café asking for staff to a winter formal that took place three years ago. The large counter that cut the room in half was also covered in flyers. There was a plump middle-aged woman with frizzy red hair sitting behind the counter. She looked up from her computer as I walked in.

'Hello, can I help you with anything?'

I walked up to the counter and took out my notepad with some ready-made notes on it.

I'm Bella Swan

I showed her the piece of paper and she smiled, typing something into the ancient machine that posed as a computer.

When she frowned I knew something was wrong.

She turned back to me with a smile back on her face and handed me a few sheets of paper and an envelope.

'Now here's your schedule and a map of the school. Here you have to get all of your teachers to sign and bring back at the end of the day. Now I want you to hand this envelope to your first teacher and then they will give you something for your next teacher and so on. Nothing to worry about, just something for new students.'

Her smile was fake and forced; of course there had to be something to worry about. Why couldn't she just send me off with my schedule and map and let me be?

I left the office and started towards the cluster of buildings that contained classrooms and the gym. The cafeteria was at the back of the office.

The parking lot was beginning to fill up slowly. I was grateful for the rain which gave me a chance to cover up my face. My black jacket blended in with everyone else.

I followed a group of people to my first class, standing a few feet behind them. I picked up on some of their conversation but didn't eavesdrop too much.

'…Mike are you going to the beach when the weather's good?…'

'…No idea. I have to get the assignment off my Trig teacher before I even think about starting that…'

'…But she can't be dating him. He's meant to be dating her…'

I noticed that the gossip one had blond hair and an annoying nasal voice. She was a clone of the girls who hated me back in Phoenix.

The room thankfully was dry and warm. I hung my jacket up with everyone else's beside the door and darted up to the teacher's desk.

My English teacher was… grey. His hair and skin seemed to fade into one another. His height was neither tall nor short. Even his clothes failed to bring out any colour in his face.

He stared at me when I approached him and took the sheet of paper and envelope. He signed the sheet but ignored the envelope.

'You have a name?'

I pulled out my notepad again. He examined it.

'You have a problem speaking then.'

I pointed at the envelope for him to open. When he read the contents, he glared at me.

'I do not believe in giving special treatment to any of my students. You will be treated the same as anyone else here. You can't deal with that then you change classes.'

He wrote something and stuck it back into the envelope, sealing it with tape before shoving it back to me.

'There's an empty seat beside Mike.'

I walked slowly back to where 'Mike' sat. I sank into the desk beside him and began to copy out some of the notes about work we will be doing from the board. I could feel the stares of people on my back but I ignored them and continued to write.

'Hey I'm Mike Newton. You're new here right?'

Way to point out the obvious.

'So what's your name?'

I felt like pulling out the piece of paper and permanently sticking it to my forehead. I sighed and showed him the note that I would have to keep with me at all times.

'Bella Swan… You know I swear I remember you from somewhere.'

Of course you remember me. Charlie was your dad's best man at his wedding. Your parents own the sports equipment store that Charlie buys all his fishing gear from. We had to be forced to play together at parties when we were six.

'Settle down everyone. We have a new student with us today. Bella Swan.'

Grey pointed down to my seat and twenty pairs of eyes focused on me. Fading into the background was going to be harder than I anticipated. Mike smiled at me.

'Hey Bella I think you should say hi'

And I anticipate that Mike Newton will be next on my Most Hated list.

--

First and second period passed without too much hassle. The teacher for my Trig class seemed nice enough. He didn't make a huge fuss when I walked in. I still had no idea what was in the envelope though, every time I got it back it was sealed in some way.

Third period was Biology, my only favourite subject. I had good grades in nearly everything back in my old school because having no social life meant that all my time was focused on school work. Hopefully things will be the same here.

The classroom was full when I came in. The teacher waved at me when he seen me at the door.

'Bella Swan, is it?'

I handed him the paper and envelope silently once more, a little apprehensive that he knew who I was. He chuckled at my expression.

'No need to look so worried. I know your father, he always talks about you. It's not hard to recognise you when you look so much like him.'

He opened the envelope and froze. His eyes looked at me in horror.

'This can't be true…'

He shook his head and wrote something anyway, hastily sealing the envelope.

'Now… ah, yes. There's a seat over there.'

I took the envelope and walked over to an empty desk, taking the seat near the aisle.

Mr Molina started to explain today's lesson as I took out my books.

'…and next week we will- Nice of you to join us Edward.'

I ignored the person who just walked in and focused my attention on Mr Molina. The chair beside me was pulled and whoever just walked in sat in it.

The person shuffled about for a minute, taking out books. I noticed that he was pale, paler than me, from his hands.

'…and now I need someone to help me with this sample lab…Mr Cullen you seem to be more interested in the person beside you today so you have the honour of helping me.'

I stopped writing and clenched my pen tightly.

It can't be the same Edward Cullen.

The person walked away from the desk. The unmistakable bronze hair bringing back memories of countless days from when I was younger.

He turned around and locked eyes with me. His green eyes still exactly the same since I last seen them ten years ago. There was some confusion and curiosity in them, as if he didn't recognise me. That was a good sign right?

Edward helped Mr Molina set up the lab but his gaze never left me. I concentrated on taking notes about the lab, gratefully running from the room when the bell signalled lunch.

I reached my locker before most people were out of their rooms and got my books.

'Hey Bella! Wait up!'

I groaned internally and looked over my shoulder, seeing Edward running towards me. His face looked brighter than before, as if he had received good news. He stopped in in front of me and smiled. His smile was always crooked, even when he was small, but now the familiar smile appeared different to me because of the now-grown up face it was on.

'I can't believe it's you! I thought Mr Molina made a mistake when he said Bella Swan. It's been ten years, I could barely recognise you.'

I attempted to smile, but it was more of a grimace, my facial muscles hadn't been used for more than six weeks.

I dropped my gaze and shuffled uncomfortably. I was feeling extremely awkward and I was sure he could feel it.

'Do you want to sit with us for lunch? There's only Alice and her boyfriend Jasper, and Emmett with his girlfriend Rosalie. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you.'

I shook my head again, wishing the rising emotions in my body to calm down. Edward had always been my best friend when we were younger. Before the divorce I would always tell him how I felt and what was going on. I still couldn't believe he was still the same.

Whenever Charlie was being nice to me, I could walk away when I couldn't bear it any longer. Now I couldn't get away as easily and if I did run, Edward would come after me. My body began to shake and I had a sudden urge to talk to him. I could never trust myself if I did give in. I suppressed the words threatening to spill but instead my eyes filled up. I didn't even know what triggered my attacks or sudden bursts of emotion, they just happened.

'You left this behind you when you ran out. It seemed important so I brought it with me,' he handed over the envelope. The tape was still stuck on awkwardly, but at a different angle to where Mr Molina put it on.

I nodded and shoved it into my bag.

'Are you ok? You seem a little sick.'

I bit my lip and decided that Edward did not expect me to talk. I pulled out my notepad and began to write.

I'm fine. Just adjusting to a new school. Thanks for bringing me the envelope. I don't think I will eat lunch with you guys today, I might go and see the nurse.

I showed Edward the note but before I could put my pen away he grabbed it.

Ok but if you don't eat with us today, you have to make up for it sometime soon. Alice won't let you get away without eating with us. Hopefully I'll see you later.

He smiled at me again and walked over to the cafeteria. I waited for him to disappear before walking out to the unused benches at the other side of the lockers. I sat down on one and pulled out the envelope. The tape was definitely pulled off after Mr Molina sealed it. I wondered if Edward had read it. Without much hesitation, I carefully peeled the tape away. Inside the envelope was a letter from the therapist I had seen and another sheet which had notes from my teachers. I read through the notes first, glancing over my teachers comments.

…will treat her as normal…

…unfortunate events to happen to someone so young…

…have known her father for some time and have never imagined something like this to happen to her…

I put the sheet back into the envelope and started to read the letter.

…As you have heard… because of these unfortunate events, large psychological damage… may not trust male contact… will not speak…

My tears were already flowing.I was being described like I wasn't even a person. They could have put 'it' instead of 'she' and called me a new species.

I sealed the envelope and put it into my bag as I headed to the toilets to clean up. I tried to wash and dry my face without looking in the mirror but it was nearly impossible to know how bad I looked if I didn't see myself.

I took a deep breath and looked up.

The person before me could not be me.

They looked awful. Gaunt, paler than normal, lifeless.

My eyes welled up once again when I seen something else in the face.

The person looked undeniably depressed and scared.

A/N: Tell me what you think. It should get better as it goes along.