Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight (only this dark twisted story).

19. Elizabeth Mason

Epov:

For the last two hours I have been arguing in my head if I should tell Bella about my mother or not. We were in the sun room doing our homework so that we had the whole day free tomorrow. I planned on taking her to meet my mother in Seattle and then treat her to a fancy dinner before the concert tomorrow night. The dinner was a surprise and I was still deciding if I was going to tell her about my mother. The worst thing that could happen is that she will leave me and go running for the hills screaming. The best thing that could happen is she accepts the fact that my mother is crazy and then still stay with me. Every time I decided to tell her, I kept on seeing her running away and then changed my mind.

I frowned as I reread a line in my English paper for the third time. I hope Bella did not notice that I haven't written more than a paragraph in the last hour. I glanced at her and saw that she was still busy with Trigonometry. She looked amazing in the navy blue long sleeved shirt and whenever some stray sunlight broke trough the clouds and landed on her head it had a red shine to it and I had to fight the urge to run my fingers through it. She was concentrating so hard on her math and I didn't want to disturb her. So instead I went back to arguing with myself, I played out my discussion with Carlisle yesterday evening in my head.

Flashback:

I stood in front of Carlisle's office door with my hand raised to knock for about the last five minutes. Drawing up the courage from some where I banged on the door instead of knocking.

"Come in Edward before you break my door down." He called from inside. Right you better go in now since you already disturbed him I said to myself trying to get my rooted feet moving. I finally entered the room and Carlisle looked up from a rather big book on his desk. He placed a bookmark in the book to keep his place and pushed the book to one side. He mentioned to the chair in front of his desk indicating for me to make myself comfortable.

"Sorry to bother you Carlisle but there... how did you know it was me?" I trailed of mid sentence when I remembered he called me in by name.

"Esme only knocks twice. Don't worry about it. Books will always wait for you, that's why they are so good. Now what is bothering you so much?" I walked to his desk turning the chair around with its back facing Carlisle to make it feel less like getting scolded by the school principal.

"I'm considering telling Bella about my mother and then maybe taking her to meet her Sunday. But I'm afraid she can't handle it and it will cause her to leave me." He sighed and started to play with a paperweight on his desk.

"Edward a relationship is built out of trust and it's sure to fail if you keep secrets from her, plus I don't think you give her enough credit. She is very mature for her age and she sees things differently than most people your age does. In fact I think she sees more than anyone who you really are. If you don't tell her she is bound to found out sooner or later and will feel that you never trusted her. You might loose her if you tell her but you'll definitely loose her if you don't tell her at all."

How come when he said it like that it makes sense but when I said it to myself it sounded so cliché? Because when he says it, you know it's true, that little voice inside my head couldn't help but taunt me.

I got up and walked to one of my favorite paintings in his study. "Why must love be so complicated?" I asked out loud not expecting an answer as I looked at a small boy pushing a girl on a swing. They looked so happy in their little world not caring if the world crashed down around them or if their crazy mothers could have such a big impact on their lives.

"Who says love has to be complicated?" He asked coming to stand next to me.

"Everyone I loved has betrayed me, been murdered, committed suicide, or died because of previous mentioned events or had gone crazy. If it wasn't for you and Esme I wouldn't even believed I'm capable to love anymore. Why couldn't love be called hate and hate love? No one I hated has ever gotten hurt because of it. If that is what love is then love is weak and hate is strong. "

Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it softly before turning to walk to a window. "Yes hate is a very strong emotion but it is powerless. You know I've treated two men the other day. They fought over a child. The one had three broken ribs, a broken jaw, a broken arm and a concussion. The other had two broken fingers and some bruises. When I asked the heavily injured one who won he said that he did. So considering his injuries I asked him how he managed to win. He said he was beaten down lying on the ground in his own blood, barely breathing and all he could think about was that this man was not going to take his girl away from him. He stood up and hit the guy with every ounce of strength he could muster and knocked him out cold."

I only looked at Carlisle trying to figure out what this had to do with me, "Good for him, what's your point?"

The corner of Carlisle's mouth pulled up slightly in a smile, "My point is that love will make you stand up and fight on where hate will only make you accept defeat. You have two choices Edward, witch one can you live with?" I frowned not understanding his question, "Tell you what Edward lets go watch the game and you can think about what I said. When the time is right you'll understand what I meant. On second thought maybe I should teach you how to dodge a punch and avoid a nice purple eye."

Present time:

What can I live with? If I told her about my mother I might loose her but if I didn't and she found out some other way, I will loose her. Suddenly I knew exactly what Carlisle meant, I could live with the fact that I did tell her and she just couldn't handle it. If she left because I didn't tell her about my mother and she found out somewhere else it would hurt her feelings. That's something I couldn't live with. So I finally made up my mind, I will tell her and hope for the best outcome as possible.

I was a bit relieved after finally deciding what I would do so I looked at the one person that changed my life so hugely only to find her eyes on me. An emotion I have come to know as guilt washed over her face. It was on her face ever since Jacob and I have fought against each other. She believed it was her fault but I knew it was sort of unavoidable. He was only looking for an excuse to have a go at me. She tried to hide the fact that she felt guilty about it but whenever she saw my eye it broke through her facade.

"You know it's considered rude to stare." I joked trying to make her feel better but she didn't respond in anyway. "Earth to Bella." She blinked as I spoke a little louder waking her from wherever.

"Sorry I was just thinking about the fight with Jacob."

I sighed as if I didn't already know that, "We've been over this Bells it wasn't your fault." I said trying to avoid the small argument that usually followed when she brought up the fight.

"No, I just thought of something. Why did you not want to hit Jacob back, by that move you did when he chocked you, you could have ended the fight allot earlier?"

I smiled lazily at her thinking that the answer to that was a bit obvious, "Because a smart person does not win fights they avoid it and I didn't want to hurt a person you care about." She snorted not sounding like a girl at all, "You might not have cared at that moment but you will afterwards when you have calmed down enough."

She stood up and walked towards me and sat down on my lap. My arms slid around her waist automatically pulling her into me. She caressed my bruised eye softly. "What are you smiling about?" I asked her as I noticed a small smile playing around the corner of her mouth while my fingers combed through her hair.

"How wonderful person you are." She leaned in and kissed me. She groaned when I pulled away even though I could spend the rest of my life kissing her. I needed to tell her about my mother before something could change my mind again. I prayed for strength as I decided straight forward was the best way.

"Bella would you like to meet my mother tomorrow, when we're in Seattle?"

She shot up from my lap as if an electric current ran through her body and looked at me frowning. "I thought your parents where dead." She simply stated staring at me. Ok I didn't exactly expect that reaction. I walked to the window and stared at nothing in particular to decide how I was going to explain this. "I'm sorry that was rude." She began apologizing sounding a little shell-shocked. She really didn't act like the rest of the people of our age.

"It's ok Bella, how could you have known otherwise. If by dead you mean not living and breathing, then my mother is very much alive and my father is very much dead." I began answering her question.

She walked to where I was still standing in front of the window. She slid her small arms around my waist and placed the side of her face against my back. This small gesture made me hope for a better outcome than the one I was anticipating. "Do you remember that I told you I had an older brother?" I asked without turning around but I placed my hand over her small delicate linked fingers across my stomach, holding her in that position.

"Yes, you said his name was Alexander." She remembered well.

"Yes, he committed suicide about two years ago. My father couldn't handle it and began drinking hoping he could drown his sorrows. He couldn't stand being in the same room as me and he usually went to bed as soon as his bottle was empty. About one month after my brother's death he couldn't sleep and so he took sleeping pills. Turns out alcohol and sleeping pills don't mix, he died that night of a hart attach. Two days after his death my mother woke up and thought I was three years old. She kept on calling for my brother and father, the doctors said she had a breakdown and it would be best if she was in a medical facility with people that could take care of her."

She just stood there holding me. I wished I could tell her how hard it had been to loose the only family I had left. I considered killing myself but just couldn't do it. Carlisle was the one that found me that night on the bridge. He convinced me to stay with him and Esme. They never spoke about that night and cared for me since then. Carlisle was the one who found the clinic that looked after my mother and he decided we should move here so that I could visit her whenever I wanted. I couldn't tell Bella this. I didn't want her pity or even wanted her to know I was weak enough to have considered suicide.

"Edward I'm so sorry." I turned in our embrace and held her as close to me as possible.

"It's ok I learned to cope with it and I'm truly happy now. Happier than I've been in a long time and it's mostly thanks to you. That's why I want you to meet my mother because you truly see me." She reached up standing on the very tip of her toes and kissed me on my mouth.

"Of course I'll meet her, with a son like you she must be a marvelous person." I scooped her up and started turning her in a circle. That was the last reaction I was expecting but I wasn't going to start complaining now. Carlisle was right. I gave her way to little credit. I felt so stupid for not telling her earlier.

"Will there ever be a day when you don't take my breath away?" I asked wishing that she would never stop doing just that.

We twirled a few more times when we heard someone clear their throat in the doorway, "Sorry to interrupt but your friends will be here soon for the sleepover. Do you mind giving me a hand in the living room?" Carlisle asked smiling at us.

"We'll be there in a sec, just want to put away these books".

I had forgotten that our friends was coming here for a sleepover, it didn't surprise me anymore that I thought of them as my friends too and not as Bella's friends. Bella helped me to put away our school things and then we walked hand in hand to the living room. I helped Carlisle move the furniture so that we could make one big bed in front of the TV and Bella helped Esme prepare some snacks.

We would all sleep here and I planned it so that Bella and I would sleep at the edge of the bed so that we don't wake the others in the morning. "Edward, please promise me that the lot of you are just going to sleep together and not do anything else."

I quirked my eyebrow at him, "I promise Carlisle we would like to repeat this in the future and will be on our best behavior." He grinned and just nodded as we walked to the kitchen.

"Oh this is going to be great, Edward has never had a sleep over before and I have never had a house full with young people. This is really going to be great." We heard Esme say just before we entered the kitchen, Carlisle laughed and walked to her sliding his arms around her waist while kissing her in the neck.

I stood in the doorway and winked at Bella, "I don't know who is more exited, Esme for having so much people to care for or Carlisle who is happy I actually have friends that want to sleep over." They all laughed when we suddenly heard honking from outside.

"That would be Emmett, come on Bells we better go greet everybody before they decide to leave and break Esme's heart." She followed me outside were Emmett was busy unpacking his jeep.

"Hey guys we brought food and entertainment, I hope you're ready for a long night." I grabbed the food while Emmett and Jasper grabbed some games and an Xbox. Bella helped the girls unpack some extra blankets and pillows.

"Make yourself at home boys." I said after I took the food to the kitchen.

"Edward where are your Xbox games?" I chuckled as I opened a cupboard by the wall.

"Help yourself and you can plug in the Xbox if you want." Jaspers eyes widened as he inspected my games and the girls walked in as Emmett plugged in the Xbox.

We played games against each other for most of the night even Esme played against Emmett and pulverized him into the ground in Halo, they didn't know that most of my games belonged to Esme and I wasn't going to spoil the fun for her. The food disappeared quickly and now we were finally settled down to watch Quarantine.

Bella lay next to me, her head on my chest and our legs entangled. She fell asleep almost as soon as the movie started and I could enjoy how good she felt against me. Jasper was asleep soon after Bella but Spiky was laughing her butt of whenever there was a scary part.

"Spiky this isn't a comedy you know." I whispered to her.

"It is if you watch Emmett instead of the movie." I looked to see what she meant and saw that he would bury his face in Rose's hair whenever there was a sign of blood on the screen. Rose was also fast asleep.

"You like horror movies Spiky?"

She looked at me and nodded, "The more blood and gore the better."

I woke a few minutes before my alarm went of and turned it off. Bella was still spread across my chest but her arm was draped across my waist and I felt sorry to wake her. I shook her lightly until she finally opened her eyes. "Morning love, we have to get ready to leave soon. Go shower and I'll make you a quick breakfast." She groaned as I got up and headed for the kitchen.

I decided to impress her with an omelet filled with ham, tomato and cheese. I just served the omelet when she entered the kitchen smelling of strawberries. I quickly left to take a shower and I think it should be a cold one.

"I hope you enjoy your concert, we'll talk again later." Esme said to Bella as I entered the kitchen and waited fro Bella to finish her breakfast.

Esme got up and kissed the top of Bella's head as she passed her, looks like she found a lost daughter.

Bella quickly finished her breakfast, "That was the best omelet I have ever had." She came and stood in front of me and brushed a few wet curls from my forehead before she kissed me quickly.

"Mm I see what you mean. If that's my payment I'll have to have more sleepovers. Come on we have to get going." I said licking my lips and grabbed her hand. I almost towed her out to the car where I quickly opened her door for her. "Your chariot awaits Mrs. Swan." I said placing one hand behind my back while holding the other palm upwards and bending forwards like an old chauffeur, copying something I saw in an old movie.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen." She said as she climbed into the car.

We drove for awhile in silence, both of us busy with our own thoughts. "You like Clair de lune?" She asked suddenly referring to the music that was playing. I looked at her from the corner of my eyes. She knew the music that was playing?

"There you go surprising me again and yes Debussy is great. How do you know it?"

She turned it a little louder, "I have a very complicated music taste. I like music from Classical to Heavy Metal but my favorite genre is Alternative Rock. If I like a song I like it, end of story. But there are some songs that irritate me and it would grow on me until I like it." She said looking out of the window, that is not that complicated since my music taste is much the same.

"That's not so complicated, what's your favorite band?" We discussed bands and songs for the rest of the ride to Seattle even starting a debate about some.

I turned onto a small winding road that led to the clinic, it was surrounded by a beautiful garden and I knew my mother sometimes walked in it. "This is Uitgerust, it's Dutch for well rested. It was founded by a Dutchman. He restored the then fallen house to its former glory and settled down with his family. His daughter was also like my mother, so he dedicated his life to make her life as comfortable as possible. His family still runs the place with great care."

We stopped near the entrance. I took her hand and led her inside to the reception area. I remembered what an impression this place made on a person visiting it for the first time.

I noticed that a new girl worked at the reception desk. She was a small petite blonde but blondes never were my type even if she had a beautiful smile.

"Good afternoon, may I help you?" She asked smiling at me ignoring Bella completely, this irritated me. Wasn't she supposed to treat all guests the same way? She apparently only had eyes for male guests. Well I had Bella and wasn't interested in her.

"Hello we are here to visit Elizabeth Mason." I said knowing that Bella noted the different surname. I chose to take on Carlisle's surname when he officially adopted me out of respect. I would explain it to her later if she asked me about it.

"You just have to fill in these forms. Who are you exactly?" She asked me and still ignored Bella. That was the oldest trick in the book, she just wanted to know my name and telephone number. To bad I'm going to give her Carlisle's number. Maybe that will teach her some manners.

I slid my arm around Bella's waist to show her I was with someone already, "I'm Edward Cullen her son and this is my GIRLFRIEND Isabella Swan." I said emphasizing the girlfriend part. It looked like the blonde finally got the message as her smile fell as soon as she heard the girlfriend part.

"Please follow me." She turned and led the way to my mother's room.

I took Bella's hand, "You shouldn't be bothered with her because I only have eyes for you." I whispered to her as we followed the blonde down the hall. I hoped Bella felt better and didn't think I was interested in the blonde.

The blonde stopped in front of a door and I hoped that this wasn't a bad idea. "She is right in here, enjoy your visit." The blonde walked away and I suddenly thought of a blonde joke I heard some time ago.

"Hey Bells, How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?" I asked her and she frowned. "You shine a flashlight in her ear." Bella laughed and I felt her relax a little. "It will be ok Bella, just relax." I hoped I sounded surer than I felt. I opened the door and pulled her in after me.

"Hello mom how have you been?" I let go of Bella's hand and walked to my mother where she sat in front of the window. She looked up and smiled the same crooked smile as mine, I relaxed she was in a good mood.

"Eddie did you remember your brothers cake? We can't have a birthday party without it. Who is that Eddie, it doesn't look like Tanya?"

She asked not missing a single thing as usual. Her green eyes sparkled as I kissed her cheek. "Dad will bring the cake later on. No mom this is Isabella but she prefers Bella and she's from my new school I told you about." I sat down next to her keeping her hand in mine and indicated to Bella to join us in the other chair. She still hasn't said anything.

"Isabella is more beautiful than Bella but she sure is pretty. One day when you're old enough you should take her on a date. When is your brother coming? I've been waiting all day for him. He is turning six you know." She said looking Bella up and down as she made her way over to the empty chair.

I stifled a laugh. She clearly thought we were in kindergarten together. "I will surely take her on a date when were both old enough. He should be here any minute." I said hoping Bella would catch on to my mother's trail of thoughts.

We spent about two hours with her when she said that she was tired and wanted to take a nap. She pecked me on the lips and kissed Bella's cheek. I was halfway out the door when she called me back. I knew what she wanted to say to me but that didn't stop me from turning around.

"Eddie I really like that one, you two should visit more often. Will you please tell your brother he must come see me and that I love him. O and remember not to wet your pants in public, it's embarrassing." I nodded and blew her a kiss before I turned and we walked to the car in silence.

I wetted my pants once when I was two in a shop and now she warned me about wetting my pants in public every time I visit her. She never says I love you to me, always just to him.

"She is really wonderful Edward."

I smiled at Bella as I opened the door for her, "I wish you could have known her before this, she is only a shadow of the person she once was. She doesn't know me anymore. Every time I visit her I must remember to tell Alexander that she loves him but she never says it to me. She is living and breathing but to me she died two days after my father."

I closed the door and got into the car next to her, I was a little angry at myself for over reacting so much. Bella didn't say anything and I knew it was because there's no upside for this.

A/n ok so it's Epov again. I'm addressing some issues he has with himself. I revealed that he wanted to commit suicide on a bridge and Carlisle found him. That's way he always treats them well and goes to them for advice. They knew him at his worst and didn't care. He can be himself around them. Ok the Emmett being afraid of blood and Alice liking it was very spur of the moment. It sounded funny and I just put it in there so I hope I didn't offend any team Emmett or Alice people. Thanks to one reviewer I changed the name of the clinic to Uitgerust since the other one wasn't correct Dutch after all.

Thank you to those who do review it made my day. I did notice some fatal grammar mistakes in the previous chapter and will fix it as soon as possible. Keep up the great reviews. Thanks for adding the story to your favorites and alerts lists.

Thanks for reading.