The Way Back Home23/03/2009 15:22:00
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters.
Chapter notes: This was a hard chapter for me to write. I really had to put myself in Edward's shoes and try to act as he would. I apologize in advance if you take any offense.
Please, please, please, please review!!!!
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Chapter 16 Living Hell! (ESME POV)
I fell to my knees sobbing and screaming, pulling at my hair. "No Bella. Not my Bella. No, no, no, no, no, no, no." My heart was breaking and I could no longer breath. I was gasping for air grabbing my chest. Tears were streaming down my face.
All of a sudden I heard my father yell to the ER staff. "She's breathing, get her to the O.R. NOW!"
Then everything went black.
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Carlisle and I had just finished with a late lunch when he received a page to report to the ER. He kissed me softly on my lips, smiled and ran towards the other end of the hospital.
I felt my cell phone vibrate and Emmett was on the other end talking frantically. "Mom, Rosalie thinks that Bella may have just been in an accident. We are not sure but she's not answering her phone. I am parking in the hospital lot right now. I see a couple of ambulances coming in right now. I will meet you in the ER."
He hung up; I didn't even have time to ask any questions. I rushed to the ER waiting room and Emmett walked in, as I was about to go into the back.
"What happened Emmett?" Emmett had explained what Rosalie told him about Tanya throwing herself at Edward and Bella running off. That damn Tanya. I loathed that woman with every fiber of my being. I once caught her trying to hit on my husband and had put her in her place. If she caused this.
Edward deserved better. He deserved Bella.
I grabbed Emmett by his arm and led him to the ER. Just as we walked in I saw my greatest fears unfold before my eyes.
I saw Bella being brought in on a gurney. She looked like someone had put her in a blender. Her long beautiful hair was caked with blood and debris. Her face was swollen beyond recognition. I saw the man performing CPR on her. He was diligent in his actions. Sweat was pouring down his chin. "Breathe Damnit, breathe" he muttered.
I was frozen watching the scene before my eyes. My mind was trying to cope. I felt as though I was watching some scene on a television show. I felt detached.
Bella. Sweet Bella. She was dying. I felt the tears begin to fall down my face. I grasped Emmett's shirt. He must have been the same way I was for either of us budged.
I watched in horror as my Edward ran forward screaming for her. I saw him try and grab the gurney. "Bella you cant leave me, don't die!" He screamed. My heart broke into a million pieces. "Not Bella, not Edward, God please." I began to sob.
I was still unable to move as I watched Carlisle stand in front of Edward trying to talk Edward into stepping back.
"I will handle this son, I will take care of her." Edward pushed Carlisle out of the way and tried to follow.
Carlisle stopped him. Embracing him so that he could not move. "You're in hysterics Edward and you cant handle this. I will take care of her son. Please let me take care her."
I needed to get to my son.
"Edward!" I called. Emmett reacted as I did and grabbed Edward from behind in a tight grasp. Pulling him to his chest.
"It's gonna be alright man, let Dad take care of her." He told Edward.
Emmett was trying to soothe his brother but Edward was fighting. He was trying to get free, to go to Bella.
Seeing Edward like this was like a living hell. I had hoped to never see my children suffer. Seeing Edward writhing in turmoil was my one of my worst nightmares.
The tears steadily flowed down his cheeks and he stilled in Emmett's arms. Emmett released him and he crumbled to the floor in agony and defeat.
He hunched over and pulled at his hair sobbing and screaming.
"No Bella. Not my Bella. No, no, no, no, no, no, no." I saw him gripping is chest and I ran to him, rubbing his back trying to soothe him. He was broken.
I heard Carlisle yell. "She's breathing, get her to the O.R. NOW!"
I looked down at Edward as he was gripping his chest. He couldn't breathe. I saw him struggling and I screamed for help.
"Come on Baby, hold it together. Breathe, Edward breathe"
Jenny ran over and grabbed a male nurse to assist her.
"Pull him up on the gurney now Clyde. Get him to room 3."
Emmett assisted the nurse in putting Edward on a gurney and we followed them into the room. Jenny Quickly stuck and IV into Edward followed with a small syringe.
"He will be fine Esme, I gave him something to calm his nerves. I am going to go and check on Bella."
She hugged me quickly. "Ill let you know everything as soon as I know."
She walked out and I rushed to Edward's side. I pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his forehead. The oxygen mask he was wearing had filled with steam from the heat of his breath. He was breathing, thank you. I needed to soothe him.
"She will be okay Edward, I can feel it, and I know it." I grabbed his hand in mine and rubbed my thumb across the back of it.
Emmett walked up and grabbed his brothers other hand. I looked up at him and I saw that he was crying. "I need to call Jazz, Rosie and Alice, Mom."
"Okay and I will call Charlie and Renee." We both nodded in silent agreement.
I called Charlie first, as he was closest. He picked up on the first ring.
"Esme to what do I owe this honor?" He jovially asked. My heart broke again to have to tell Bella's father about what had happened.
"Charlie there's been an accident. Bella was hit by a drunk driver on the I-5 leaving the hospital."
There was a long silence. "How is she Esme, please be honest with me?" He pleaded.
"I don't know Charlie, they were giving her CPR and there was a lot of blood. She's in the operating room now. Carlisle is taking care of her Charlie."
I heard silence again. "I'll be right there."
I hung up and made the second call to Renee.
I heard laughter as she answered the phone. "Hello!"
"Renee its Esme. Bella's been in an accident. A drunk driver hit her. I don't know how serious her injuries were, but they did have to perform CPR."
I hear a loud scream and I heard the phone drop. I heard Phil asking what happened. "Renee honey, what's wrong, what happened?" I imagined myself in her shoes. I felt the tears stream down my face again. I don't now how I would react if someone told me this had happened. He grabbed the phone.
"Hello, who is this?"
"Phil, its Renee. Bella's was hit by a drunk driver in Seattle. I don't know what her injuries are yet. She is fighting for her life Phil."
I couldn't speak anymore as the sobs shook my body. I began to sob into the phone.
Emmett grabbed the phone and told Phil to get to Seattle ASAP.
I sat there at Edwards's side, not moving for anything. Rosalie, Alice and Jasper arrived within minutes of each other. They all hugged me. All of their eyes were swollen from their tears. Alice was shaking uncontrollably and Jasper picked her up and held her close to him. Whispering to her that is would all be okay.
There were still no updates on Bella. Emmett and others all waited in the waiting room. But I stayed at Edwards's side.
After about an hour I stood up to look for Jenny. As if on queue she entered the room. "Anything?" I asked
'No Esme, no one is allowed in, I just wanted to let you know."
'Thanks Jenny."
She left the room and I watched my son. I cursed God for hurting Edward when he had finally found happiness, then I cried some more and begged and prayed to God to save her.
I felt Edwards hand move in mine.
"Bella." He murmured.
(Edward POV)
I felt someone's hand in mine.
"Bella." I tired to open my eyes. It was a blur. There was some soft light coming from my left. I turned and looked at my Mother. She was sobbing quietly. She began to rub my hand.
My mind quickly caught up. I jolted up and tried to throw myself off of the bed. I felt the needles in my left arm and winced.
"Lay down Edward. You need to rest. You had a breakdown."
I looked at my Mother. "I need to go to her Mom, I need to help."
"Edward, your Father is doing everything he can. Please trust in him."
I felt my hands shaking and I lowered myself back onto the bed.
Then I cried. I cried hard. The sobs overtook my body. "I cant live without her Mom. I LOVE HER. She can't leave me Mom. I just got her, I can't lost her."
I felt my body shaking. I felt 4 pairs of arms around me.
I looked up. Alice and my Mother were on my right. Rosalie and Emmett were on my left. They all wrapped me in their arms.
"She will be okay Edward" Alice whispered. "I just know it. Bella. If anything, is as stubborn as a horse and she wants to live. She wants to be with you Edward. That's why she got here so fast. She couldn't wait another minute to be with you."
I felt the ache in my heart again and the sobs became harder. Alice was sobbing now too. They all were. I heard them all.
Jasper's phone rang. "Got it, send him back please."
"Edward, Charlie is here."
I tried to look strong. I wiped the tears from my face. Charlie walked in. I got up from the bed. Charlie walked up to me. "What happened?" He was scared. I could see it in his eyes.
"She was hit by a drunk driver. I don't know the specifics. But it's my entire fault Charlie. She ran out of here. Running from me. She saw something, something she should never have seen and she ran. I ran after her but she took off so fast. I love her Charlie, I don't want to lose her."
I broke down again and sat on the bed. I waited for him to hit me. I wanted him to hit me to beat me. I deserved it.
"Son, its not your fault. You didn't get behind the wheel drunk and then drive. That was someone else. Don't blame yourself, whatever you do Edward, do not think that this was your fault."
He placed a hand on my shoulder and his head fell. I looked up and saw that he had begun sobbing too. "I cant live without her either son, I cant live without my Bella."
Alice and Rosalie ran to him and hugged him.
Jenny had us move to the waiting room. I paced back and forth, waiting.
Sue had arrived with Jacob and his wife Leah. She was trying to console Charlie. She was sitting next to him rubbing his back. He was hunched over with his head in his hands.
Jacob paced the waiting impatiently, talking under his breath. Leah kept trying to get him to sit but he kept refusing.
I rocked back and forth in my chair. Biting my nails. I habit from when I was child. I always did it when I was nervous or scared. 4 hours had passed and still no word. I talked to the nurses and they floated in and out, but none of them knew the outcome of the surgery. Memories of Bella flashed behind my eyes.
She was smiling. "Well, Hello Dr. Cullen!" Her brown eyes smiled at me.
"I like you a lot too Edward" "Good" I kissed her softly upon her lips.
"I kind of hope that once I get to Seattle we can spend lots of time together, you know, exclusively?" She looked worried. Of course I wanted to be with her. Always!"
"Are you lost sir?" "Cause heaven is certainly missing an angel." She laughed then. Her laughter is intoxicating.
When she looked at me. Under the "Bean". I knew then, that I loved her.
I was lost in my memories when I heard the emergency room doors open and looked up. I was hoping to see Carlisle. Instead a Highway Patrolman stepped out. He looked around the room and recognized Charlie. "Chief Cullen, can I speak to you for a minute?'"
Charlie walked up to the man and they spoke few words. The Patrolman walked back into the ER. Charlie nodded his head and looked at me. He walked over to Emmett and whispered in his ear.
They both looked at me.
"What is it, is it Bella? Did something happen?" I sprung to my feet and Emmett bounded toward me.
"Calm down Bro, lets take a quick walk."
Emmett started to guide me out of the side door when I heard him.
I heard the man that was pulled in before Bella. He was still cussing. He was yelling at the Officers. They had him in cuffs.
This was his fault. He looked at me with a 'What are you looking at' stare and I reacted. I ran. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
I reached him and I started punching. I was screaming.
"You hurt her! You almost killed her! How could you? She is my life, and you almost took her from me!"
The punches flew. The man had fallen to the ground and blood came from his nose. I think I landed about 4 punches before I was grabbed. Emmett and Charlie had pulled me back. The Officers picked the man up. One of them took him outside and the other stayed.
He looked at Charlie. "I've got him Hector, I'll handle Edward. Get that sorry MotherFucker out of my sight, NOW!"
The Officer nodded his head and ran out the door.
I attempted to follow but they both held me back. I felt the anger building. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to die for what he did to my Bella.
Alice came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. They still didn't let me go.
'Its okay Edward, its okay. She is going to be fine."
I fell lifeless again and they finally let me go. I hugged Alice.
"I can't lose her Alice, I cant."
She looked at me. Her face was red and her eyes were swollen. 'I know Edward."
The ER doors flew open again. Carlisle stepped out. Instead of running to him. I sat back in the chair. I was scared. Scared of what he had to tell me.
He kneeled down in front of me. Charlie was at my side in an instant.
"Edward, look at me!" I slowly brought my head up and looked at my Father.
"Bella is going to be fine. She does have some major injuries. She broke 3 ribs, but no vial organs were damaged. Her right leg is broken in 3 places. Her right arm is fractured at the elbow. She had some glass embedded around her right eye, but we were able to get it all out. And she has many lacerations. As you know, none of these are life threatening. She will recover in time. But she is going to live."
I stood there looking at my Father. I was frozen. My head kept running the injuries through my head. She was going to be fine. She was going to live. My Bella was going to be just fine.
I didn't realize my Father was waiting for a response. I looked up at him. I jumped forward and embraced him. "Thank you Dad, thank you. You saved my Bella." I felt the tears flowing now. Esme hugged me from behind. My parents just held me. I finally felt relief. I looked up at Charlie. Sue and Leah were holding him.
"When can I see her Dad"
He smiled. "Now if you like."
I looked at Charlie. "Go ahead Charlie, she's waiting."
Charlie looked at me. "Lets go together Edward."
I followed him and Carlisle back into the recovery room. We rounded the corner and Carlisle pulled back the curtain that was around her bed.
Jenny was already there watching Bella. She looked at me and smiled.
I looked at Bella. She looked so fragile, so broken. Her face was swollen on the right side. She had casts on her torso, right leg and right arm. Small lacerations were all over her body.
I grabbed her hand. Carlisle took one look. He kissed her forehead. "Love you Bells." He whispered into her ear.
He stood there for a few minutes, talking to Carlisle. Then he looked at me and smiled and walked out.
I looked at my Dad. "She looks really good Dad, Thanks!"
He smiled. "Ill give you a minute with her. She probably wont wake for a few hours now."
I smiled. 'I know Dad. Doctor here." He laughed and handed me her chart.
"Well then Dr. Cullen, then you can look at her chart yourself. I am going to go and talk to the family."
He went to walk away. "Dad?"
"Yes, son?"
"I Love her."
"I know you do Edward."
He exited the small area and pulled the curtain back.
I looked at Bella. She looked beautifully peaceful. I rubbed my cheek against her hand. She was so soft.
I felt small tears run down my cheeks. I kissed her softly on her cheek.
"I do love you Bella. Always."
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They moved her to a regular room early Friday morning.
I never left her side. My mother brought clothes from my house and I showered in Bella's shower in her room.
Flowers, cards, and balloons covered her small space. Many loved Bella.
It had now been 23 hours since the surgery. I ate some cafeteria food that Jenny had brought up to me.
I knew that Bella loved old romance novels. I asked Alice to bring me a book. I read to Bella from Jane Eyre. I was reading Chapter 15 aloud.
"I knew," he continued, "you would do me good in some way, at some time: I saw it in your eyes when I first beheld you; their expression and smile did not strike delight to my inmost heart so for nothing"
I felt her fingers twitch on mine. I jumped up out of my chair. I looked at her face, looking for signs of movement. I saw her squeeze her eyes tight. Then she opened them slightly and shut them again quickly. "She fluttered her lids now, trying t adjust to the light. She looked up at me and she smiled.
"Edward" It wasn't a question or a statement. It was the most wonderful thing I have ever heard. It was happiness.
I kissed her forehead. "I'm right here Love."
She squeezed my hand tighter and whispered. I could not hear her so I bent down and placed my ear by her lips.
"What is it, Love? Do you need anything?"
She was ever so quiet. "I heard you Edward. In the car. I love you too!"
I looked at her face. I saw the tear fall down her cheek. Her eyes fluttered again and she closed them falling back asleep.
I fell into the chair. In that moment, the world stopped. Everything went silent. I looked to the heavens, well the ceiling, and I thanked God for saving her. I thanked him for making her, and I thanked him for letting her come into my life.
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I sent text messages to everyone letting them know that she had awakened. Alice ran into the room seconds after getting the text.
She looked desperately at me then at Bella. "Did I miss it, did she wake up and I missed it?"
She pouted and slumped into the loveseat by the window.
She will wake again soon Alice don't worry.
She looked at me. "Well Edward, I am happy to see you smiling again. I told you she would be fine."
I shook my head at her and laughed. "I'm glad you were right."
"I wanted to be here Edward." She was still pouting.
"Tell the pixie to get over it Edward." Bella whispered. Alice jumped up and bounded to the other side of the bed.
"Bella, honey, Oh I am so glad your awake."
She bent over and hugged her lightly. Bella winced a little and Alice moved away quickly.
"Oh I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to…"
"Bella giggled softly. Pain is good Alice. It lets me know that I'm alive."
I hung my head again. Alive. Right. "Bella, I'll get you some more pain meds."
She looked at me. "Edward, I heard you reading Jane Eyre. I didn't know you were such a romantic."
"Alice brought it for you, love. I wanted you to know that you weren't alone, that I was always here."
She smiled. "Thank You, Edward."
I bent over and kissed her head. "I'll get that pain medication for you now."
I rang the nurse's button and Jenny responded.
She walked in and looked at Bella and smiled.
"There's my favorite girl" She beamed. Bella looked at me and I just smiled.
"Thanks, but why am I your favorite." She asked Jenny.
Jenny took her hand and smiled. "Because, you my dear have made my favorite Doctor happy, for the first time in his life. You have let me off the hook too. Now I don't have to shoo all those women away. He's officially taken."
I saw Bella's left cheek blush and I laughed. "Now there's my girl."
She smiled at me.
As if on queue, the rest of the families entered the room. All of them running to the bed.
Charlie and Renee came first, smothering her with kisses. I went to pull away but Bella held my hand tight and looked into my eyes. "Stay. Please!"
"Of course." I went right back to her side as everyone greeted her.
Bella was going to be okay. We were going to be okay. We loved each other.
2 weeks had passed and it was finally time to leave the hospital.
I decided to take a leave of absence to help Bella get through her rehabilitation. We pulled up in front of Alice's house and Emmett and Jasper ran outside to help.
I picked Bella up and walk towards the house. Emmett and Jasper carried her bags.
I walked in and placed her on the couch. I placed to large pillows behind her. I took 2 more large pillows and elevated her leg.
"Doing okay Love?" I asked.
"I am since you're here." She looked at me and smiled. I swear that woman could dazzle the pants off anyone.
I bent down and kissed her lips. She grabbed my hair and pulled me into a long and passionate kiss.
"Get a room, you two."
Jasper moaned. I threw a small pillow at him and he jumped out of the way.
Bella laughed and grabbed her side. "Ow, quit making me laugh, it really hurts."
I kissed her again. "It's a good thing your bedroom is on this floor Bella. Those stairs would be a nightmare."
I grabbed her bags and took them into her room. I opened her drawers and placed her items inside. I smiled when I went to hang up her pants. I had some clothes hanging in her closet. Seeing my clothes in the same closet as hers just felt right.
I walked back into the front room and Emmett was goofing around. Bella was trying hard not to laugh.
"Where are Alice and Rosalie?" She asked as she looked around the room.
"Alice had to run to her boutique, and Rosalie is on set." She looked up at me sadly.
"I wont get to see Rosalie in action, will I?"
"Sure you can Babe, we can go tomorrow if you like, after therapy."
She looked at me and smiled. "That would be great Edward."
We ordered Italian and decided to watch a movie.
I asked Bella what she wanted to watch. She chose The Goonies.
We all laughed at Jasper when he kept quoting Chunk. It was the scene when the Fratelli's are interrogating Chunk and Frank Fratelli asked Chunk to tell him everything. Jasper turned around and started imitating Chunk.
"Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible; all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."
Bella was laughing and holding her side. I looked at her to make sure she was okay. She smiled. "I'm okay Edward. It feels really good to be out of the hospital.
Alice and Rosalie came home about 9:00.
Bella was starting to get sleeping after I gave her some pain medication.
I picked her up from the couch and carried her to her room. I laid her down and walked around the bed. I pulled back the covers and lay next to her. She had her head in my chest and breathed lightly. I placed my head next to her. I kissed her lips gently.
She yawned. "Edward?"
"Yes, Love?"
"I love you."
"I love you too!"
That was the first night of real sleep I had since I left Chicago.