HAI GUYS. *Waves* What some people might have guessed by now is that around an hour/two hours before uploading a fic, I write the damned thing. I know, its procrastinating, but eh, TWO HOURS IS NOT QUICK. XDD So, basically, all my ideas are thought of on-the-spot. This is why a large majority of them suck. XD

Welsh buddy; …. I knew they were going to drink that horse sperm. D: I gagged IRL. Seriously. Its ok, though, we all love a bit of Norse mythology (was recently researching the dragons at the 'worlds tree' myth, FFFF). And yes, our song sucks. D: WE SHOULD HAVE QUEEN AS A NATIONAL ANTHEM. And what you requested is actually coming up next… PEOPLE GUESS ME OUT. *Crais*

PERU IS NOT IN AFRICA. XDD That made me LOL so much. And 'God save the queen' is one of our many boring songs… fufufufufufufufufu…

AND ANYWAY, FIC TIME.

DON'T KILL ME FOR THIS ONE, I HAD TO DO IT, NO SERIOUSLY.

… DESU-YO.

It was a relaxing day, the sort of kind where your head was rocked by the fragrance in the air and you were always half asleep in your happiness. Finland was folding washing alone in the kitchen, neatly packing it in piles as he usually did. He was surprised however when he saw Sea-land knocking at his back door window, and he let the boy in, confused at the hastiness of his arrival.

"… Sea-kun?"

"Mama… where do babies come from, desu-yo?"

Finland spluttered. It was the LAST QUESTION the child could have asked in the world. I could have been anything else, but it had to be that… well, he supposed he would have to get it over and done with sooner or later… but he didn't want too, he had no answer planned for it! Stalling would have to do for now…

"W-what?" He gripped his son by his shoulders. "W-why are you asking this?"

Sea-land didn't look fazed by anything, and pouted cutely.

"Well, I was talking to Latvia about children desu-yo, and he told me two guys cannot have children, so I asked him how children are made, but he couldn't tell me desu-yo!" He tilted his head to one side. "So, Mama, can you tell me, desu-yo?"

"…Well… firstly…" Tino panicked. He was not used to thinking on his feet. "I am not your Mama, I am male…"

That fact was openly ignored.

"A-And children…" He stammered. "Are made in a s-special place?"

A 'special place' was somewhere criminals put hostages. Or where sick people stashed children for their own uses. He didn't really know if Sea-land would pick up on how horrible it sounded, but by the look of him, he looked like he was believing it.

"… A special place, desu-yo?"

"Y-Yes! Its like… a garden! A-and Mama's and Papa's go there and they… pray to God, and then babies grow up from the ground! Yes!"

"… What? Where is the garden, desu-yo?"

"I-In a secret place only adults know, and if you find out about it as a child, you will never have children!"

"… Ok…" That seemed to work. "… So how do they get out of the garden, desu-yo?"

"S-Santa Claus brings them! Yes, that's right!"

"Mama, YOU ARE Santa Claus, desu-yo!"

Here was an awkward silence that reeked of lies. It was true, he was Santa Claus, but he could not get out of this one…

"Th-that's right!" He smiled falsely. "I deliver children as well as presents, all over the world!" He laughed heartily. Sea-kun stared, somewhat amazed.

"… Really?"

"Really, heheh! Go ask your father, he will support me!"

And so Sea-land left to go find Papa.

"Papa, where do babies come from, desu-yo?"

Sweden turned to look at his son with an expression that matched the child's own.

"… Y' really wan'a know?"

"Yes, yes!"

Su-san sighed, closed the book he had been reading and focused all his attention on Sea-kun.

"You see, whe' a man an' a woman lov' each other very much…"

Sea-land nodded.

"Th' man gets the woman int' bed an' they engage in 'sexual intercourse', which is when a man puts 'is genitalia int' hers. He then thrust's into her, andreleases thousand's of little creatur's called 'sperm' which ar' lik' tiny bugs tha' live inside y', an' they swim int' th' woman an' they fus' with her eggs an' then a baby is created."

Another awkward silence. And slowly, Sea-lands face began to twist into something horrible, as if he had seen a scary movie and a man was getting his eyes gouged out by a crow bar.

"S-so Santa doesn't…deliver babies at all, desu-yo?" He whispered. The man raised an eyebrow.

"… Who tol' y' that…?"

And Sea-land ran away, crying.

It was night time and for some reason, there was a tense atmosphere in bed. Finland shuffled closer to Su-san in the dark and decided to speak aloud about it.

"Su-san… did you see Sea-kun today?" There was a grunt which indicated 'yes'. "… Because he asked me a weird thing…"

"… He asked m' a weird thin', too… abou' children."

He two stared at each other even if it was dark. Finland had a bad feeling. He had told Sea-land one thing, but what had Su-san told the child…?

"Su-san, what did you tell him?" He whispered. The man sighed quietly.

"I told him-"

"GET AWAY!"

The lights flickered on.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Sea-land jumped in, armed with a spray can of some sort. He dived under the covers, and wiggled his way towards Su-san, and almost instantly the Swedish male felt a burning sensation on he leg. He fished around, grabbed Sea-land by his scruff and yanked him out quickly whilst Finland rolled out of bed in panic and was hiding on the floor.

"Wha' y' doing?!" The man said, genuinely startled. Sea-land began to spray his chest vigorously and the man coughed at the spray before knocking it out of his hands quite easily.

"What is tha'?!"

"Its bug spray!!" The boy said angrily. "I don't want any brothers or sisters desu-yo, so I will kill all your bug-sperm this way, desu-yo!!"

"WHAT?!" Sweden shook him. The boy threw the can at his head. "OW!!"

"I AM HELPING MAMA, DESU-YO!"

"BUT I AM A MALE!!" Finland screamed from his position on the floor.

"BUT THE BUGS, DESU-YO-"

Finland clambered onto the side of the bed.

"YOU TOLD HIM THERE WERE BUGS?!"

"MAMA, STAY BACK, THEY'LL SWIM INSIDE YOU-"

Sweden blushed heavily, got out of bed and dragged his son out of the room and closed the door with a slam. And Finland was left in silence. When Su-san returned, that blush on his face was just as heavy as when he had left, and he flicked off the lights, got back into bed, and sighed quietly. Finland stared.

"…Do I want to know what you told him?"

"… No."

And it was left at that.

Early next morning, when Finland got up to make breakfast, There was a cardboard box in the middle of the living room, with the words, 'BUGS DO NOT HARM ANYONE' on it, and it had a weight on each corner and a bell attached to it.

It rustled a bit, and the bell tingled.

Inside the box, Sea-land whimpered, in trauma.

He no longer wanted to have children.

…. OH GOD. OH GOD.

I AM SORRY. SO SORRY.

SEA-LAND OBVIOUSLY FORGETS THE FACT THAT HE WAS BROUGHT.

I AM GOING TO GO DIE NOW, KTHNX.

Love you guys,

HHF~x

((SHORT A/N, LOL, WUT?!))