18. Awake

"No!"

"Bella, Bella--"

"Please, no! Not all of them! Take me, please!"

"Bella, wake up!"

I shot up straight, my eyes wide open. "Oh, Edward!" I cried, and crumpled into his arms.

"Another dream?" he asked, steadying me.

"It was a nightmare!" I covered my face with my hand. "I lost you all, every last one!"

"How?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"It will make you feel better," he encouraged.

I nodded, his shirt gathered up in my fist. I pressed my face into his chest. "All right. You were all with Carlisle, fighting. Not fighting Carlisle," I put in, seeing him stiffen, "you were helping him. But then you were outnumbered. First, it was Rosalie," I whispered, shrinking at the memory. "And then Emmett, because of Rosalie. Of course, Carlisle went next--"

"I get the picture."

"Please, tell me it won't happen," I begged.

"Whata nightmare," Edward murmured. "All of us lost at once."

"Edward, tell me it won't happen."

He held me for a moment. Then he sighed wearily. "I-- can't make any promises."

"No, you have to! Tell me you'll be safe, wherever our search takes us! Edward!" I came close to shaking him; I was that frantic.

It could have been because I'd just woken up from a horrific dream where my entire family died in one blow. Or it might have been because I'd been seeing, in my mind's eye, a similar scenario play itself out, over and over. The death of a loved one was my worst fear, and I was being brought closer to the realization of my fear every hour. I knew, even if everyone else was destroyed, that if Edward was still alive, I could go on. Shoot, even if I got killed, and Edward lived on, that was good enough for me. That was why I felt the need to drag the promise of survival out of him. No matter what became of him and Jasper's plans, I had to know Edward wouldn't do anything stupid or reckless. And I was ashamed to own up to it, but I also acknowledged the fact that I would willingly watch all the rest of my family die if Edward could be kept safe.

"Edward, please, give my your word that you'll try to stay calm, and not run off and get yourself--" I couldn't finish the sentence, it was too foreign a concept.

"You're coming with me," he said, lying me back down on the couch. "You know I'll do whatever is required to keep you mentally and physically sound."

"And..." I averted my eyes. "If that means backing out sometimes, you'll do it?"

"Backing out of where, sweetheart?"

"Out of anything that could kill you," I ended fiercely.

Running one hand through his hair, Edward pulled me to him as he sat down at the end of the couch in his room. "Why do you want me to promise something I can't give? Carlisle needs us, Bella. If we have to go somewhere dangerous, that's what we're going to do."

"I'm not against danger, just mortal danger."

"You're so dramatic, sometimes." He kissed me and rolled his eyes. "Mortal danger, for an immortal."

"It happens, especially to your coven."

"Let's talk about this after you've had some more sleep."

I rubbed some of the sleep out of my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Six o'clock, why?"

"I don't really feel like sleep anymore. What are we going to do about school? It's Monday, right?" Throwing my legs over the side of the couch, I stretched, trying to put the dream out of my head.

"You're sick, and we're with Carlisle and his 'family emergency." Edward's mouth lifted up in an unflattering sneer as he spoke.

"Good, as long as we've been excused." I kissed him, then stood up and walked out of his room, into the hall. He was next to me in a heartbeat, reaching for my hand. I squeezed his fingers. "Is anyone here, or did they all go hunting?"

"We're here," said Jasper's voice from behind me, making me jump.

"Oh! Hey, Jasper."

"A change of plans?" asked Edward out of nowhere, turning a dubious look on his brother.

Jasper nodded. "We have more information."

I didn't try to follow their vague conversation. "Where's Al--"

"Bella, you're awake!" Alice zinged into place beside Jasper, her face eager. "Now we can start making the final plans!"

"Alice, what changed?" Edward tugged me after him as we made for the stairs.

"Pretty much everything," said Alice. As she took a seat on the couch in the living room, Jasper close beside her, Esme appeared and came to sit next to them. Jasper took Esme's hand, probably to make his calming effects more potent. "Emmett, you need to hear this, too," Alice commanded in a normal voice, even though Emmett was nowhere to be seen. I wondered if he could hear her if he was out in the woods.

After Rosalie had left, Emmett had become a rare sight in the house. When my human eyes did get a chance to see him, it was more disconcerting than comforting. The large vampire was not at all himself: he was silent most of the time, his face void of his usual expressive personality. He had helped us plan out our next move, but with short, laconic sentences. He had apologized for the way he had acted towards me Saturday, which of course I told him wasn't necessary. If Edward had run out the door seconds before me, I would have done anything to get him back.

Today he came into the room at normal vampire speed and sat on the other side of Esme. It would have been comical, seeing four vampires all cramped into the same sofa, except that I was more interested in what Alice had see than anything else.

"Well," Alice began, wriggling around for more room till she nearly sat in Jasper's lap, "everybody knows the original plan: send us out, two by two, on every lead we can think of, and report back regularly to Edward. This plan has changed. We now have something of a lead."

I gasped. "You saw Carlisle?"

"No," she replied, staring across Jasper and Esme at Emmett, "I saw Rosalie."

Emmett's head came up. "What? Where?"

"She was in an airport, with flights from Dublin to New York on the departure schedule."

"She's in Ireland?" asked Esme. "Why?"

"I don't know," shrugged Alice. "But we have a good lead now."

"No, we don't," retorted Edward, frowning. "That doesn't tell us where Carlisle is."

"Really, Edward, haven't you figured that out?" Alice made it sound so obvious, but I had no idea where she was going with her train of thought. "Rosalie is with Carlisle."

There was beat of silence.

"That makes sense," said Emmett, seeming to stir from his brooding mood. "Yeah, that makes perfect sense! When we were out hunting Friday, Rose told me--" He mastered himself. "She said that Carlisle had asked her to help him leave." There was a growl from one of the Cullens, but I couldn't place it. Then I realized it had been Esme, her hands balled up in her lap. "She thought she was doing the right thing, Esme," Emmett explained. "She said he begged her to help him, and he told her not to tell anyone. I bet that's why she left, too," he muttered darkly. "She knew it was only a matter of time till you guys found out she knew something."

"Wait, wait, wait," interceded Jasper. "You're saying Rose, our Rose, not only aided Carlisle in leaving, but she is now accompanying him to wherever he's going?"

"That's my theory, bro."

"How could Alice or Edward not know?"

"That must have been why she ran off immediately after Esme found the letter," I said, inspiration hitting me. "Remember, Jasper? She didn't even read the letter, you said."

"That is true," he said in an unsure tone. "She did run off."

"We know where they are!" sang Alice.

"Well, we know they're in Ireland," corrected Edward. "That's still an entire country we have to search."

"We know they're in Dublin," pouted the spiky-haired vampire, popping up from her place on the couch. "That's enough to start out with."

"I'll book the tickets," said Jasper, already sailing towards the computer.

"Bella needs some breakfast," called Emmett, darting around to the kitchen.

"I'm going to pack for us." Esme stood. "Goodness knows what we'll need to take with us."

"It looks like we have our work cut out for us," said Edward, amused at the busy environment. "Come on, Bella. While your breakfast is cooking, we'll go see if the letters Carlisle left will give us any clues."