"Fifteen minutes until curfew." The librarian announced to all of the students who were studying. I sighed grabbing all of my books and placing them inside of my bag. Drew and I had been meeting at the library every night to talk and study. Although we couldn't talk all that much because every time we tried the librarian would glare our way. Occasionally, Lily who has become my best friend and Derek would join us. But tonight, it was just Drew and myself.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning." Drew said heading in the direction of his common room. I nodded my head once in acknowledgement and pulled out my wand. I put a charm on my book bag to carry itself rather than pulling on one of my shoulders. I was the only one in the entire corridor as I made my way to my common room. I wasn't paying any attention to anything around me because I was focusing so hard on my book bag. A pair of strong hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me into an empty classroom. I tried to scream but a hand covered my mouth. I wanted to hex the guy immediately but I recognized the hand and I relaxed knowing that I wasn't in any danger.
"Shh, its ok." He said with his hand still clamped over my mouth. I had very conflicting emotions. Part of my wanted to jump into his arms and another part of me wanted to absolutely kill him. He turned me around to face him and I wanted to smile. TYhis is something that I had dreamed about since I met him.
"Hey its me." He said in a soothing voice. I looked at him expectantly, wanting him to explain himself.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to get you alone." He said grinning. My heart started to melt at the sight of his grin.
"And why would you want that?" I asked trying to scowl at him but it wasn't working. This only made him grin even more.
"Because of this." He said pulling me into him gently. I wanted to resist but I couldn't fight my own urge of wanting his arms around me. His lips were mere inches away from mine and they were tingling with anticipation. This was something that I have been craving for since I saw those lips. And with my heart trying to beat out of my chest, his lips touched mine. They were soft and supple and they definitely knew how to kiss. He placed one hand around my waist and pulling me in closer as if he could not get enough of me. I was quickly pulled into the kiss and wanted to stay like that forever. When we finally pulled apart, he pulled me into him again.
"I have wanted to do that ever since I saw you on the platform getting onto the train." He said looking down at me sheepishly. I though back to the day on the train. How when he walked into the compartment, he had looked into my eyes with a relieved look. Like he was happy to be sitting in that compartment.
"Wait, you saw me before you joined Drew and I in the compartment?" I asked smiling up at him. He grinned and looked away. He looked so cute being shy and I couldn't not stop myself from giggling.
"Yes, I did. And all I could think about was talking to you. You have no idea how hard it was to convince James to sit in your compartment and not Lily's." He said running his hand through his hair.
"So, I was irresistible?" I asked loving the fact that he looked uncomfortable. He looked different from the guy I knew. He grinned at me, knowing that I was screwing with him.
"Yes." He breathed against my lips, making my whole body shiver; starting from my lips and working its way down to the pit of my stomach. And before our lips met once more, there was a knock at the door.
"Padfoot, get decent and get going." I heard James say as he poked his head in. I pulled away from Sirius instantly, but he was still holding his gaze.
"We better go. Teachers are patrolling. If we get caught, we get detention. Although, detention with you doesn't seem like such a punishment." He said leading me to the door. I felt as if I couldn't move from that spot. I wished we could go back in time and relive the kiss forever, because in that moment I had forgotten about why I was here. Had forgotten the grief and pain from the last month or so. Had forgotten about the hole in my heart. While in that moment, I felt full and happy. I felt alive again. But as we walked out of the classroom, reality set in and all happiness was sucked right out of me.
The next morning I felt anxious as I walked toward the table with Lily. I knew that Lily wouldn't want to hang around James or Sirius but I wanted to be next to him. I wanted to be reminded of last night.
"Hey, lets sit over there." I said motioning to where Sirius was. Lily stopped and looked at me, rolling her eyes.
"Really, Ashleigh? Do we really have to?" She asked folding her arms across her chest. She really has avoided James since the tea incident.
"Come on. I promise it wont be bad." I said trying to convince her. She sighed and started to walk again. I his the smile that was trying to surface with joy. I watched Sirius' body language as we approached them. James suddenly started to get nervous the closer Lily and I got, but Sirius was looking the other way. He reminded me of the morning that Amber tried to get him to sit near her. He was looking everywhere but at me. It suddenly made me uncomfortable.
"Hey guys." I said cautiously, wondering if he just didn't feel my presence.
"Hey Ash… Lily." James said blushing at the mention of Lily's name. Remus nodded and smiled politely at us and Peter continued to eat while nodding, but Sirius didn't even acknowledge us. When I glanced in the direction that he was facing, I suddenly knew why. Amber was sauntering up to him with a big smile.
"Sirius, Baby! Oh… you saved me a seat!" She said grabbing the seat right next to Sirius. She was hanging all over him and he just grinned. I felt as if a bludger had suddenly hit me in the stomach. But I recovered quickly before anyone saw.
"We'll see you guys later." I said grateful that I didn't reach for the seat before Amber got there.
"Where are you going?" James asked suddenly.
"We are going to eat breakfast with Drew and Derek." I said smiling. James' face fell when he heard this and I felt guilty making him think of Drew and Lily, but I didn't want Sirius to think that I was hurt by his actions. As we walked away, I turned around and saw Sirius look after me. He looked sad but only for a split second before looking back at Amber. I wanted to run away and cry, but I was not going to let him have the satisfaction. For all I knew he had just used me last night and didn't really mean a word he had said at all.
"Are you ok?" Lily asked once we were far enough away from them. I nodded quickly because talking would only make me cry. I suddenly envied Amber as she sat there with her arms around Sirius. Why couldn't that be me? I would gladly sit beside him and I would really love to kiss him because he was by far the best kisser I have even met.
"Hey. Can we join you two?" I asked Drew. He looked up and smiled at Lily then at me. I knew that smile. I made a mental note to let him know to let him know that James had dibs first.
"Sure. Ash… are you ok?" He asked zeroing in on my energy. The weirdest thing about twins is how they just know if something is wrong. And the fact that Drew can basically read my mind and I can read his, is pretty weird.
"Yeah, I'm great. So what were you guys talking about when we rudely interrupted." I asked him, silently begging him to drop what he was thinking. He looked at me for a few seconds then nodded slowly.
"We were discussing Quidditch." Derek said watching the exchange between Drew and myself. He kept glancing back and forth between us as if he missed something. Then he looked at Lily for some help. She just shrugged and opened up her paper. On the front page, it had a picture of a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. I recognized it from somewhere but could not quite place it. As Drew and Derek droned on about Quidditch, I couldn't help but try to figure out where I saw it. And suddenly it hit me. I had sudden flash back to the night that was still raw in my heart. I fell out of my seat, suddenly sick. Drew jumped up from his seat and grabbed his stomach instinctively. Then he bent down to help me but I was already out of the Great Hall and on my way to the nearest bathroom. Drew was following me, I could hear his footsteps get closer and closer.
"Ash! Ashleigh wait!" He said grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to see him. I no longer had the urge to be sick but I felt shaky and weak. That night kept flashing in my head as if it was on a loop. The loud bang, my father voice, the tattoo, and then my mothers cold and vacant eyes. Just the eyes alone were making me want to throw up. Drew shook me hard and suddenly I was on the floor sweating and breathing hard.
"Ashleigh! Stop! Calm down. Tell me what is wrong." Drew said soothingly while he was still holding onto my shoulder as he knelt by my side.
"Mom… Dad… tattoo." I said in between gasps for breath. Drew looked at me with a pained expression. Talking about them or thinking about them brought on instant grief.
"Okay. Wait… that's it, deep breaths." He said patting my back. I knew that he didn't know what I was talking about. I needed to actually explain myself. I got up and we went into an empty classroom.
"Mom and dad and the night that they… well one of the men had a weird tattoo on his forearm. I saw it then and I saw it right now on the front page of the paper. I had a flashback and all I could see was mom and hear dad's voice." I said with my voice cracking right before the tears poured out of my eyes and onto his shoulder. He pulled me into a tight hug and we stayed like that for a few minutes before someone opened the foor slowly. We quit crying when we saw Professor Dumbledore walk in. He came closer and laid a hand on each one of us. For a second I thought we were in trouble until I saw the sadness in his eyes.
"you are excused from the morning classes." He said gently before turning around and leaving the room. The sadness and grief overcame us once more and we continued to cry. Within an hour, I was back in the Gryffindor common room with swollen eyes and red cheeks. We left to get cleaned up before we actually had classes.
"Ashleigh?" A voice from near the fireplace said. It sounded familiar but I didn't see anyone. I jumped and had the urge to cry all over again. But then I saw Sirius' head pop out of nowhere and I started to scream. Before I knew it, his whole body was visible.
"What the hell?" I asked suddenly angry for being scared. I was really angry with myself but being angry at him was easier.
"I'm so sorry. I just wanted to make sure that we were alone." He said stumbling over his words.
"Sorry but im done being used." I said with a venoumous touch in my voice. He looked hurt for a second and then looked as if he knew that he deserved it.
"Ok, fair enough…" He said slowly drawing out each syllable as if stalling for time.
"Why? Are you seriously that much of a man-whore?" I asked not caring if I sounded mean.
"I'm not a man-whore." He growled while clutching his fists at his side.
"Really? Because I would call what you did being a man-whore. I mean kissing me and telling me that I was irresistible and the very next morning you and Amber are a couple… that's wrong." I said getting in his face this time.
"You don't understand the situation." He said simply.
"What is there to understand? Little Sirius is running the show. That's fine but I will not be a part of it." I said just mere inches from his body. His body was radiating a heat that made me want to get closer.
"First of all… he's not little. And second of all… you don't understand what Amber could do to us." He said smiling, actually grinning at the first part and barely whispering the second part. What could she do to us? It made no sense what-so-ever. He made no sense.
"To me and you? I'm not afraid of a school girl." I said getting right into his face now. He grabbed my arm aggressively and pulled me into him. He kissed me so hard that my entire body felt like Jello when he was done.
"Trust me on this… she could ruin everything and I would be responsible and I just cant do that to my friends." He whispered urgently with his lips against my ear.
"What do you mean?" I asked without any anger in my voice this time. Wanting more than anything for him to kiss me again because it wiped away everything on my mind.
"She has some dirt on me and my friends and it could be bad if it got out." He said wording his answer perfectly. I was completely curious as to what she had on them and why it could be so powerful.
"What kind of dirt? What did you guys murder someone or something?" I said making a light joke. He half smiled and then looked away, unable to speak. Time seemed to stretch on before he started to open his mouth in a reply and I was being as patient as possible standing there waiting for him to speak.
"Well… I cant really tell you because it doesn't involve just me…" He said trailing off and speaking slowly. We both froze as we heard the door to the common room open. I turned around quickly to get a glimpse of who was coming in and I was slightly upset when I realized that it was Amber. The girl who I wanted to see least right now.
"Have you seen Sirius?" She asked looking squarely at me. For a second I thought she was screwing with me until I turned back around to face Sirius and he was not there at all. Where the hell did he go? And what kind of magic trick was that? Did he really know how to master a disillusionment charm that well? It was completely flawless. I have been trying to master that spell for a long time. Amber cleared her throat at me.
"Um, no. I have no idea where he is." I said trying to act convincing. She narrowed her eyes at me for a few seconds before she got a big grin on her face.
"So, I saw your face this morning at breakfast. Sorry that it was such a shock to see us together. I mean it was only a matter of time because we absolutely belong together." She said smugly. She was being extra sweet but it was so fake it was disgusting. I wanted to slap the smile right off of her face immediately.
"You belong together huh? Well that's just great for the two of you. Its more than just a grade school romance then?" I asked sensing Sirius tense up right behind me. She narrowed her eyes for the slightest of seconds before coming back to the sweet smile.
"Yes… in fact the second we leave this hell hole we will be getting married." She said getting a far away look on her face. I suddenly felt sorry for her. Sorry that her only ambition and dream in life was to become a house wife and a trophy wife. There was more to life than that and to be honest, no man was worth throwing away ones future.
"Married? Wow… that's… something." I said at a loss for words. I had no idea what to say to her. Part of me wanted to call her our on her stupidity but the other part of me wanted to stay nice and not make any waves.
"Yeah, anyway. I saw you leave the Great Hall crying. I hope it wasn't because we broke your heart. I mean what ever Sirius and you had I know it must have meant something to you but honestly we were still working stuff out then." She said fakeness seeping out of her and surrounding me making me want to throw her across the room. My hand suddenly started to twitch and I lost the anger that was just boiling inside of me.
"We didn't have anything. He was just being friendly because I was new. Nothing more, trust me. You guys deserve each other." I said mocking her sweetness and tone. I even put on the same sweet smile. I saw her smile falter for a second and then she just smiled back at me as if she was up for the challenge.
"Well. I just wanted to let you know that I know how charming and irresistible he could be. But despite all of that, I know that you are the kind of person who will stay away from him because he is in a committed relationship." I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous she was being and before I could stop myself, I did laugh and I was laughing hard. This whole conversation was becoming ridiculous.
"Whats so funny?" She asked suddenly angry. She was started to turn red and purple because she was so mad, which just made me laugh even harder.
"You are. I cant believe you are sitting here raving about how Sirius and you are meant to be together and you are going to get married and then the next ridiculous thing that comes out of your mouth is some insecure babble about how you know I that I am not the kind of person who will steal your man. Guess what! I don't want your man. I don't care about him or about you. I am here to learn and that is it. And by the way, if you guys are so in love and perfect together then you shouldn't be worrying about whether or not I could steal him. Obviously one of you doesn't feel the same way about one another." I raved letting all of my emotion drain out of me. I had so much emotional drama this morning that I needed an outlet. First sadness with Drew and now anger toward Amber.
"I… well of course we… I love… and he…" She said stuttering to find the right words. And then she suddenly turned around and left the common room. I laughed once more as Sirius became visible once more and this time I noticed a cloak of invisibility was draped around him. He looked at me with a surprised look on his face and then got on his knees and started to bow at my feet. I laughed at his goofiness once more and then left him kneeling there watching after me as I walked up to my dorm.