A/N: I wanted to start by thanking all of you once again for your reviews and pm's. You guys are great! A few of you are also as beautifully depraved as our Viking! LOL! Some of the ideas of what should be done to Hot Rain . . . *shudders* Sick, sick puppies! And I love you for it.

Thanks again, and as always, to the fabulous Kristin and Gallathea for beta-ing this for me. They not only correct my grammar, but put up with my whining and uncertainty, and help me see when I've strayed off the path. *smooches*

Chapter 22

Three days later we were back home in Bon Temps. Eric tried to convince me to come back to his home in Shreveport, but I was adamant about being in my house. I needed the familiarity, and he didn't push me on it.

God bless Amelia, I know she meant well and I owed her so much after what she did to help rescue me, but she was making me crazy. Besides the obvious hovering, and asking me if I needed anything every ten minutes, she was just terrible at controlling her thoughts. I know she tried, and I tried to keep my shields up, but I was exhausted and it was difficult to maintain them all the time. The worst part was that the things she imagined, the horrors she conjured, were only the start of the things Craig had done to me. Her imagination couldn't even begin to fathom it.

The nights were better. Amelia would head over to Tray's, and Pam would stay with me until dawn. She was staying at the house, using Bill's old hidey-hole during the day. I don't think I ever realized just how much of a friend I'd considered Pam, or her me, until then. Not once did she complain about our situation, and I knew how she felt about taking care of a human, and that she did not like the hidey-hole either. Also, for once I didn't balk at the idea of having a baby sitter. Craig was out there, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of that fact. Of course, with his ability to affect vampires as well, Pam was at risk, but there were others guarding me as well, night and day. There was always a member of either Alcide's or Calvin's packs patrolling the grounds, twenty-four-seven. I'm also pretty sure that Bubba was out patrolling the woods, and staying at Bill's during the days. Bill was somewhere in Shreveport, being looked after by Eric's people, and finally, Eric was coming by every night.

He was being very understanding. He did not push me, and kept a respectful distance from me physically, although I could tell how much it cost him to do so. My heart ached at the loss of his touch, just as much as my mind revolted against the idea. Despite their care and good intentions, however, I just couldn't stand having any of them around me, even Eric. Just the understanding look on his face was making me crazy. He was almost too understanding. Where was the Viking rage? Where was the cold detachment from human feelings? Right now I needed that detachment, because his understanding and pity were killing me. I was feeling . . . I was just feeling too much, and I needed it to stop.

Yet, I couldn't bring myself to tell them to go away. Eric tried to block the bond, but I could still feel, and knew, his fear for me. Like I said, I learned many things from inside Craig's head. Vampires may not project their thoughts, but once you know how, they are not so difficult to read. Eric was desperate for the reassurance of my safety, but after a little while it was beginning to suffocate me. I had to find a way to get balance and perspective back into my life.

I told Sam I wanted to go back to work. Not only did he have a complete meltdown, ranting about how I wasn't ready, and how it wasn't safe, but the first thing he did at sunset was call Eric. I spent the next hour listening to a lecture about how he was going to be taking care of all my needs, that for once I was going to do what was right for my safety, and that if it meant I would never speak to him again, well that was fine as long as I was safe. I'd never seen him so angry with me, yet I wasn't afraid of him. I knew he would never, ever hurt me. I saw him replaying Ian and Ciara's story in his head, and I knew his reaction was because he couldn't bear to lose me again.

In the end, however, I was a veritable prisoner in my own home. I went to the market, the video store, even the library, but at the end of the day, I was just in a nicer prison than the one Craig had me in. Maybe that wasn't fair to say and, in truth, it was because of Craig that I was being forced to live like this, but it didn't change the fact that after a week they were all making me crazy.

So I used the time to practice. Interestingly, reading vampires was easier than reading the two-natured. I think it is because so much of the animal is present in the two-natured, and that thought is completely non-linear, and very, very sensory. It makes their thoughts much more jumbled, and harder to sort through, but after a while, I got more proficient at reading them too. I may have been able to save Alcide's father that day, had I been able to read them as well as I could after spending time with Craig.

One of the positive side effects of everything I'd learned from Craig, was a much better ability to compartmentalize and concentrate. I'd always been able to do so to some extent, it was how I pushed past what Uncle Bartlett and Bill did to me. Yet, with my new control, after several days my shields were stronger than ever, and I was finally able to shut Amelia out much more efficiently. I could also begin to separate out my various emotions, particularly those surrounding what Craig had done to me. I knew I would still have to deal with all of those feelings, but for the moment it afforded me a bit of peace. It wasn't perfect, and it didn't always work, but it did help me relax more around the men, particularly Eric. I think I actually managed to shock him when I touched him lightly on the hand after a few days, but I felt his shock replaced by joy. Then came his love, and the feeling swamped me. I lost control, and found myself in his head, only this time it wasn't intentional, and I heard so much more than I wanted to. It was overwhelming— his love for me, his need and desire. Then his anger at what happened to me, his unadulterated hatred for Craig and Hot Rain, and burning hunger for revenge. I couldn't breathe, and gasping I stepped back, desperately trying to pull myself out of his head.

I saw pain cross his face when I pulled away again. I knew he felt my panic across the bond, but I also knew he assumed it was because of the touch. He still had no idea what I could do, and I wasn't ready to tell him. I wasn't afraid of what he would do to me. I just wanted to know the extent of my abilities first.

I hadn't been sleeping very well to begin with, and often had nightmares that replayed my time with Craig, but a little over a week after I got home, the other dreams began. At least at first I thought they were dreams. I would be sitting in the house, trying to "read" Eric, when suddenly he would clutch his head, screaming in agony, or I would be "practicing" and trying to sharpen my telepathy, when Amelia's nose would start bleeding, then her eyes, and her ears, before she fell down in spasms. It didn't matter who was in the dream, I woke screaming; and Pam would be by me in an instant. On the third night of the dreams, Craig came to me, and I woke up screaming his name. When Pam came in, I saw that her fangs were down in anticipation of an attack, but she quickly realized no one else was in the room.

"Sookie! Sookie! It was only a dream, Sookie." She said as she gently shook me by the shoulders. "It was only a dream."

Only it wasn't. I couldn't tell her how I knew, but I knew it wasn't just a dream. Craig was reaching out to me from wherever he was, but what was it he was showing me? These were not mere dreams, they were . . . warnings? That is what they felt like, warnings.

The next night, he spoke to me in the dream. He knew I was tampering with what I learned from him. He smiled broadly, almost with pride. "That's my girl." He purred to me. I shuddered. "What?" I yelled at him. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm just showing you what is going to happen. It's what happened to me. When we're first learning to control this gift . . . well, really control it, not like what you so feebly attempted your whole life, it's easy to slip, to make a mistake. It takes time to learn subtlety."

"Why would you tell me this? I'd think you'd want me to kill Eric, all my friends. Why help me?"

"You need me, Sookie. I told you, you're meant for me."

I woke up sweating, then ran to the bathroom and threw up my entire dinner. For two more nights I endured images of my loved ones being torn apart and killed by me. I was a wreck in the mornings, but everyone assumed it was post-traumatic stress disorder. I even heard them whispering about it.

The next day found me jittery and impatient. I spent it cleaning the entire house from top to bottom. I even polished Gran's silver, just to keep my mind occupied with menial tasks, and not let myself drift into anyone's thoughts. By evening, I was exhausted. When Eric came, I was curled up on the couch, the television airing some mindless reality show, while my dinner sat untouched on the tray before me. I saw him and Pam exchange meaningful glances, but I turned my head. I didn't want to see it. I was tired of being the object of pity.

I felt my thoughts drifting, and the next thing I knew I was in Eric's head once more, only this time, it wasn't the emotional roller coaster of his feelings for me. Instead, I was treated to his replay of Hot Rain's trial, sentencing, and the start of his punishment. I was transfixed and horrified at the same time. It wasn't so much what was done to Hot Rain. Frankly, he deserved what he got, and if that made me a bad Christian, well I wasn't so sure I cared anymore. It was the delight with which Eric watched it. I could feel, as if it was my own sensation, his deep satisfaction. I could feel his

...

[EDITED] SEE CHAPTER 1 NOTE

A/N: So, where would you guys run away to?