A/N: Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the LONG update, but in all fairness, I warned you. hehehe. But there are a couple of reasons for my update...
1) I heard from Laurie - yes, Laurie Faria Stolarz herself, don't be jealous lol. She loves this fanfic, and she's posting it in her Myspace and Facebook, and that was an ego-boost enough for me... I suffered too many self-esteem issues in the past couple of months, which is another reason why I couldn't update. Her message to me was encouraging.
2) Another is because CLBisMe is haunting me down hahaha, and threatening to overflow my inbox if I don't update... so again, thank her!
3) BECAUSE I'M A GODMOHER AGAIN!!! Yes, you heard right! I'm a godmother to my cousin, Justine, already, but yesterday, my other aunt gave birth to Chloe Allison, my SECOND goddaugther, and I'm just in HIGH SPIRITS, so I felt like updating =] She is absolutely adorable!!! And I dedicate this chapter to her...
I hope you guys enjoy it!!!
Previously on Chapter SIX:
He tastes of lemongrass and sweet honey, and I know that there's nothing else in the world that could taste better. There's no other person in the world I would want to kiss, or could compete with the fire he manages to light within my heart. After a moment, I lay my head back down on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he holds me close and tight. I close my eyes, hearing each of the thuds of his beating heart, and I know, in that moment forward, that those beats are meant for me, as mine are meant for him.
SEVEN
Everything is so white… I tell myself that it's supposed to be white – snow is white, right? But something feels wrong and I can't put my finger on it, I want to walk somewhere, but I can't see a thing… it's too bright and it's blinding my eyes. It's too quiet too… but then again, snow is always quiet, that's one of the things I love about snow – when they fall, and they're quiet and beautiful.
I put my hand over my eyes to block a little bit of the brightness. But when my fingers touch my forehead, I feel that I was a little too hot – do I have a fever? Then it hit me… snow is supposed to be cold. It's not cold… it's burning hot… but it's bright. I'm in Colorado and snow should be everywhere.
My curiosity gets the best of me so I start walking blindly, hoping that I would reach something familiar. It feels like forever until I start getting anxious… I am not reaching anything, and I've been walking for a while now. I stop and take a deep breathe – I can't panic. I. Can't. Panic. I look around again, only to see… nothing but whiteness. The only thing I can see is myself and in that moment, I feel a churning in my gut that has nothing to do with being hungry, nor is it the kind of butterflies that I feel whenever I'm around Jacob. It's that feeling in my gut that tells me that something is wrong – completely and utterly wrong.
"Jacob!" I scream as panic start overtaking me. I run, hoping that I would reach something… anything… someone… anyone. "Jacob!"
"Stacey." I stop on my tracks. "Stacey…" I look around, searching for the voice – it wasn't Jacob, but it's someone… I need to get out of here… "Stacey!" I look around frantically, finding nothing but whiteness.
"Where are you?" I scream into the brightness. "Please help me! I need to get out of here!" I wait, that churning in my gut, never leaving and panic takes over me as silence fills my surrounding once again.
Tears fill my eyes and I fall on my knees… I need to get out of here – I need Jacob. I put my knees to my chest and hug them to myself, sobbing all the while. I need to get the hell out of here! But I have no idea how! The voice has gone…
"Stacey," I look up again, but with the whiteness and my tears, my vision is blurred. I try wiping my tears away, but I couldn't – they won't stop flowing.
"Where are you?" I whisper. "Who are you?"
"Stacey, time's up!" the voice screams in my ear. It was then that I feel pure and raw fear. I shake with panic and the voice laugh maniacally. I scream…
"Stacey…" the voice says again… I SCREAM.
"Stacey!"
"Stacey!"
"Stacey, wake up!"
I bolt upright, breathing heavily. It was a dream… no, it wasn't a dream… it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I'm not sure what I'm more freaked out about: the fact that I wake up with Jacob shaking me with vigor. He isn't hurting me, but it isn't how I imagined waking up next to him, because it isn't entirely gentle… or loving, for that matter. There are also tears in my eyes, because when I try searching for Jacob's face and his slate-blue eyes that calms ever nerve in my body, all I could see are blur of colors, dancing like kaleidoscope. Or maybe I'm freaked out about the nightmare…
I haven't had a nightmare since I helped Porsha with her own nightmares, and her mother would show herself in my unconsciousness. It was also the nightmare that led me to finding Jacob in that cult months and months ago. My nightmares usually come with a year in between, but this one is only months after the last… What is going on?
"Stacey," Jacob says. I rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears and look up at him. His face is a mask of horror and shock. "What happened?" He whispers.
"I don't know," it's not that I don't want to tell him about my nightmare, because I want nothing more than to bare my soul to him. I'm more worried that this will freak him out and I don't want to scare him – after all, he's just getting his memories back after that nightmarish experience he's had after… that incident.
"Yes, you do," he persists. "It's a nightmare isn't it?" He cups my face with one hand, keeping the other wrapped around my waist. With his callous fingers, he wipes the leftover tears from my eyes, and I'd be lying if I were to say his touch isn't affecting me. My heart is already thumping its way out of my body after the nightmare, but his tenderness does nothing but exercise my poor heart furthermore. I try clearing my head – there are more important things at hand.
"Jacob– " I start, knowing that I have to lie to him so I won't worry him.
"Don't even think about lying to me, Stacey. I had amnesia, but my memories are coming back. You're forgetting that I know you more than you think."
Well, darn it.
"It's nothing, Jacob. It's just another nightmare, I highly doubt it's a premonition. After all, I just had my last one several months ago – I can't be having one again so soon. It doesn't make any sense."
"I don't care," he persists, his embrace on me tightening slightly. "Tell me."
By this time, I'm already calm enough to sooth him, so I put my hand on his cheek and caress it gently. "Don't worry about it, Jacob. Don't let it ruin our vacation. Besides, it's really nothing. I can't even make sense of it, so I don't think it's that big of a deal."
"That's how it always starts, remember? They never make sense at first and then before you know it, someone's life is at stake."
I look down, not meeting his eyes because I know full well that he's right.
"Just tell me what you saw," he whispers. "Please."
I bring my eyes and meet his own mesmerizing blue ones… and I'm lost. Damn his capabilities to render me incoherent. Before I know it, I'm telling him everything: the whiteness, the tears, and the voice trying to make it sound nonchalant so as not to worry him too much. That's the last thing I want. I guess I didn't sound indifferent enough, because by the time I finished recounting the nightmare, all he does is bring me closer to his chest and whisper soothing and loving nonsense into my ears. I can't say I'm not enjoying this specific reaction…
"It's nothing, Jacob," I tell him, my face pressed into his broad chest.
"It's not 'nothing,' Stacey," he says firmly, pulling away and looking into my eyes. "We have to get to the bottom of this before anything happens."
"We can't," I tell him.
"Why not?"
"I-- " I stutter, not knowing what to say. To be perfectly honest, I don't want to dream again. I don't want to have anyone's life on my hands, ever again. I don't want any of this… not anymore. When I failed Maura, I promised myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to the next person I dream about, and so I tried everything that I can to save Drea. But I failed to save Veronica… not that she ever haunted my dreams as much as Drea, anyway, so I had no way of knowing her fate.
In any case, after Maura, I took this responsibility onto myself – the responsibility to save another person's life, so, I embraced my gift with open arms, just like what my grandmother told me. I accepted it and tried my best – until that summer. I don't want to mess up again. I don't want to lose anybody else for any amount of time. Losing Jacob, or at least, the thought of losing Jacob broke me to the point of no return, and I don't want that to happen again.
I only just found him, and there was no way I was losing him, or anyone I love for that matter, anytime soon. I don't want this – any of this. After I found Jacob again, I told myself that maybe if I can stop the nightmare, I can stop all the misfortunes that come my way. Maybe when I stop having nightmares, all the threats, the nerves, the impending danger, and the looming thought that someone I know might die would just all disappear. As a matter of fact, I was so convinced of it.
After all, when my mother denounced her heritage, her life seemed to have moved on pretty smoothly. She's happy being where she is, and I know for a fact that she wouldn't have changed anything, even if she could. I thought to myself that maybe, if I could do the same, all these would just disappear. And it is for this reason why instead of finishing my sentence, I disentangle myself hesitantly from Jacob's embrace and pace the length of the beautiful room.
"Stacey, are you alright?" Jacob asks. I could hear the worry behind his voice – I didn't need to look at his face to know that. "We have to figure this out, love."
"Jacob," I turn to face him after a few paces. "Look, I don't even really know what went on. Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe it was just another nightmare… nothing to be worried about. So, can we just… I don't know…" I move to sit by the foot of the bed, my back towards my soul mate. But I could still feel his intense gaze on my back, and before I knew it, he has his arms around my waist, and his lips on my neck… and my thoughts disappeared.
"Stacey, what are you saying?" he murmurs into my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I lean back to him and close my eyes – this is more like it.
"Mmmm," I sigh.
"What is it?" he moves his head away from my neck, only to bear his eyes onto my face.
"I --" I try saying… "Jacob, if you want me to think clearly, stop it."
"Stop what?" he says innocently… a little too innocently, in my opinion.
I pull away from his embrace and stand up again, taking a deep breath and gathering my thoughts. Damn him and the way he affects me. He chuckles at my action. I look at him and couldn't help but smile and I lose myself in his eyes again. It isn't until his gaze became serious that I know the worst still hasn't passed.
"Stacey, what are you trying to do?"
"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, turning around and walking over to the window, so he wouldn't have a chance to entrance me once again. I look out into the Rockies, and realized that the snow seems thicker. It must have snowed last night. The thought only succeeds in reminding me about my unwanted nightmare.
"I mean your nightmare," Jacob says.
"Look, Jacob," I say as I turn around and face him again. "This isn't something I want to talk about right now. Maybe later, but I'm not ready yet… please understand that." I look at him pleadingly, and it must have worked because his eyes soften and the worry creases on his forehead – no matter how cute it looks on him – disappear.
We stare at each other for a moment, silently conversing with our eyes. "I promise, I will talk about it when I'm ready," I tell him.
"I just hate waking up to see you crying," he whispers, looking down at his hands. It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen, to be honest. I feel kind of silly to be thinking about how good looking my boyfriend is when someone's life could be at stake, but lo and behold…
I walk up to him and plop down on his lap, bringing one of my arms around his neck, and using my other hand to lift his face up to mine. "I know, but I just need time…"
He stares at my face and I couldn't help but get lost at his huge baby blues. I lean forward; my eyes fluttering close as he meets me halfway. I feel the electricity shots throughout my body as our lips met – the kiss is gentle and not at all similar to the passionate embrace of last night. However, the sweetness and tenderness of it all makes up for the passion.
I bring both of my arms around him, my hands weaving through his dark locks. His arms wrap around my waist, bringing my body closer to his, if that is even possible with the little to no space in between us. We remain like that for a moment until he pulls away. I feel myself pout – wow I've never been such a girl before…
"Stacey," he says, with heavy-lidded eyes.
"Mmmm?" I ask, my forehead leaning onto his.
"Go back to sleep." That woke me up from stupor caused by my love for this man.
"What?!" I ask him, surprised by his words.
"I'm just saying, it's still early, I thought you'd be jet-lagged," he smiles at me crookedly.
"What time is it?" I ask, confused by his words.
"It's 6:43 AM," he replies after looking at the clock by my bedside table. I hadn't noticed that before… wait, what?
"Why is it so bright out?"
"Because of the snow, love…"
"Oh," I whisper, feeling stupid. Of course, I would know… I just had a dream in all the snow's whiteness and brightness… or a nightmare, rather.
A/N: Alright, let's make a deal... once I get 25 updates FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE *ahemCLBisMeahem* I will update ;]