Moral issues and women's rights discussed in this Chapter.
BPOV
Doctors and nursing came running into the room with a bewildered expression and whenever someone of the opposite sex came near me I continued you to scream.
I screamed so much that after they sedated me my voice was pretty much gone. Waking back up a couple hours later was not a pretty sight either. Before I even opened my eyes I heard Edward's sobs and it broke my heart
"What am I to do? I cannot even comfort my own wife when she needs me the most. I failed her and I failed our marriage. How could she possible love me after I allowed those vile excuses of men to violate her the way they did. I didn't do anything Renee."
"Edward you cannot blame yourself has so faith in God, give her time Edward things will get better"
"Better how Renee, Did you not see how see responded earlier?
"I know it's hard but atleast there is some brightness within all this darkness."
"Don't even get me started on that one Renee. Bella is going to be livid when she find out…"
I didn't like them arguing. Two of the most important people in my life should not be arguing. I tuned them out briefly wondering what Edward thought I'll be livid about and what was my mom's role it that. Surely Edward doesn't blame my mom for what happen.
"Mom" I croaked out
"Oh Bella baby you're awake. How are you feeling, do you need anything baby?" She asked
"Why are you and Edward arguing?" I asked ignoring her question because had I answered it I knew I would be rude. Seriously how does one answer a question like that? I swear my mother is too flighty at times.
Edward and my mom shared a look and I immediately knew they were hiding something from me. "Don't treat as if am fragile I've been through enough during these last few…" I trailed off not knowing how long has it been exactly until Edward answer what I was thinking "It's been three and ½ months since our wedding" He proclaimed dejectedly
"Three and ½ months?" I asked to no one in particular. They both nodded their head in affirmation.
Oh my god I thought….wait I thought to myself and shuddered
"What…What happened?" I asked looking at Edward
They both stared at me confused and it was then that I realize what they were thinking. I only wish I couldn't remember what those me did to me I shuddered.
"No, I know… (Sob)…. what… (Sob)...happened to me… (Sob)…what I meant… (Sob)… Is how long I've been in the hospital…? (Sob)…how long ago were we found…? (Sob)"
I saw Edward move to come and comfort me "Please don't" I sobbed causing him to halt in his steps looking so defeated. "I cannot handle if you were to touch me right now, I do not want another episode of what happened earlier. You've done nothing wrong nor do I blame you, it's just that everything is too fresh in my mind."
He nodded his head in understanding but his eyes showed how deep my words and actions hurt him.
"We were found two weeks later and you've been in a medically induce coma for just about three months. It was the only way for you to heal properly after your heart stopped twice since we were brought into the hospital."
My heart stopped twice……
I was in a coma for three months……
A wave of nausea hit me and I throw up over the side of my bed unto the floor before blacking out. This was too much to handle.
I woke back up hours later to find Edward asleep on the chair beside my bed. I thought he looked so peaceful in his sleep. I watched he sleep for God knows how long before his peaceful features morph in confusion, disgust and then sadness. "No" he kept whimpering. It truly didn't take a genius to know what he was dreaming about.
"Edward wake up" I called out to him. I knew we would relive what we went through but I need him to be strong right now especially when I feel so weak.
Edward never woke up. I knew he must be exhausted but I couldn't stay seeing him in pain not again "EDWARD" I screamed
He jumped out his sleep in the chair looking at me with wide frighten eyes, looking around the room to see what was the cause of my scream. "Bella what's wrong he said franticly" He went to reach out towards me but pulled back in his hand as he saw me inch away from him.
"You were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you but you wouldn't wake up so I just screamed hoping to grab your attention. I couldn't let you relive that…" I sobbed
He didn't say anything and we just stayed there staring at one another. Seriously what does one say in situations like these. We both cried looking into each other's eyes and I knew it was tearing him apart not being able to comfort me but I wasn't ready mentally for a male to touch me let.
My eyes began to get heavy again and I felt into a deep slumber not before hearing Edward say "I love Bella, we'll make it through this together somehow."
I woke up the next day sobbing to find my mother comforting me in her arms as cried. I guess I was having a nightmare. Thank goodness I do not remember it. I search the room for Edward and saw he standing in a corner looking like he was just about to crumble and fall apart.
It made me wonder what I said in my sleep I'm know to talk in my constantly
"Bella" My mother said while sitting on the bed attempting to console me.
"There are some things we need to discuss with you." She said
I looked between her and Edward, who stood the in a corner far away from me.
I knew if he had a choice in the matter he would be sitting in my mother's place instead; however his touch or any males touch brought on panic attacks
"You've been through so much baby but you know god doesn't offer anyone person more than what you can handle."
I looked at my mom like she had just lost her mind. While I was raised in a religious household she knows I don't believe nor follow any of her views.
How can she just say that? Your daughter was violated in the worst way possible
"You've got to be kidding me mom" I shrieked
"I know its hard baby but something good has come out of this."
"Have you lost your flipping mind mother?" I sneered
"What good can come out your daughter being raped? Seriously mother stay off the drugs." I spat
"Bella you're 13 1/2 weeks pregnant we just found out the day before you woken up."
I sat there numb as her words sank in.
Pregnant
My breathing became heavy as her words sank in.
"No" I cried out "this has to be a mistake."
"I know it's a lot to take in after everything you've been through but just think of the joy a baby would bring into yours and Edward's life..."
At the mention of Edward's name I looked towards him pleading with him "Tell me this isn't true I beg."
"I'm so sorry Bella" He cried as he pushed off the wall walking towards me. I raised my hand motioning him stop.
"How could you?" I cried out to him
He said nothing just looked at me sorrowfully and longingly "After everything we been through how could you allow this to handle to. Do you not want me to heal and move on from this? Why didn't you allow the doctors to give me the morning after pill? You know my views and opinion on things of this nature" I shouted
I turned to my mother for answers as I saw Edward look her direction plus I was too disgusted to look his way.
"Bella when you guys came into you both were unconscious. Just like you were in a medically induce coma so was Edward. So I made all the choices pertaining to your well-being. I thought..."
Something snapped in me as my mother's words sank in and I slapped her across her face
They were both stunned into silence by my actions but I didn't care.
"Bella what's gotten into you?" My mother asked while rubbing her cheek.
I looked at her defiantly "How dare you make a decision like that about my life?" I asked her demandingly
"Bella what did you expect me to do? I'm your mother so I made the decision I thought was best for you."
"What's best for me or what's best for you. Your daughter was raped by over 30 different men. So you thought it would be best for her not to have the morning after pill effectively ending any possibility of her to become pregnant from this ordeal. I'm your daughter and you made the decision to invoke your pro-life stance onto me. You are no mother of mine Renee." I said
"Bella baby I know your upset by this but look at the brighter side of things after everything you went through and near deaths experiences you went through in the hospital that life you've now have growing inside of you survive all throughout everything you went through. This is a blessing from God a miracle that will help you heal..."
I slapped her again, actually I slapping her continuously as I spoke "How dare you? You know I'm Pro-choice. This is my life and body, you should have gone with the decision you knew I would have made had I had an option. I hate you, you are dead to me do you understand that."
I felt a hand holding me preventing me from slapping her. I didn't even look to see who was holding me because right at this moment I had murderous intentions towards my mother.
I briefly heard someone say yes as I began shaking and I barely made out Edward's voice asking for help, before darkness came over me.
I woke up a few hours later to a dark empty room crying silently
How could my own mother do this to me I thought. Haven't I been through enough?
I don't know how long I sat in the dark crying until I felt someone sit on the bed behind me "Bella" Edward has said and his voice sounded so broken.
I turned around to face him and for the first time since I woken up I only him to comfort me, as I crashed my face into his chest crying.
"I cannot go through this" I sobbed and I felt him tense.
I pulled back looking into his eyes and I didn't like the emotions I saw in them
"Bella I know this may not be exactly how we planned it but we did want to start a family soon. I know this is going to be hard on the both of us but if we stick together on..." I cut him off
"You of all people cannot be serious right now? You were there Edward. Every time I close my eyes I see it happening again and I know it has to be the same on you if not worst. I want to get over this and move on with our lives Edward but I cannot do that with a constant reminder, which this thing growing inside of me will be."
"There's a possibility that baby growing inside of you is mine Bella."
"And there is a more likely chance that it's not." I shouted pushing him away from me
"I know but we'll still love this baby regardless and raise it as our own no matter the outcome."
"Oh my god, you sound like Renee. This is not you Edward. If you stand against me in MY DECISION to abort this abomination growing within me....." I trailed off not even knowing how to finish that statement
"Bella just think this through before you make any decisions. Had I not been unconscious when we came into the hospital I would have had the doctors gave you the morning after pill but you're now approximately 13 1/2 weeks pregnant. That's an innocent life growing inside of you who doesn't deserve to be punished for those bastards' actions that's forever imprinted on our lives. While I don't agree with your mothers reasoning's, I do however believe this child is a blessing."
"There is nothing to think about. Whether this child is yours or not, I cannot never grow to love it especially knowing when it was conceived. I'll talk to my doctors tomorrow. I will be terminating this pregnancy ASAP."
"Then you leave me with no choice Bella." He said sadly while turning away walking out the room. Before he was completely out the door he paused whispering "no matter what please remember how much I love you always."
It sounded like a goodbye as I looked at his retreating figure, as sob broke through my chest at that very moment. Not because of the goodbye but because I was willingly accepting losing him. If to protect myself in order to heal from this ordeal by terminating this pregnancy cost me losing him, it was a price I was willing to make gladly.
Author's Note
This is where I begin playing Devil's Advocate as I mention before I am Pro-Choice to a fault.
For those who were/are curious he is my views on abortion. While I would never consider the option for myself I feel everyone woman is entitle to make her own decisions on things that affect her body. The only times were I would ever consider having an abortion FOR MYSELF is if I were to be raped…
If you're Pro-Life or Pro-Choice please keep an open mind when reading the next few chapters
Any clues on if you guys believe that was Edward's way of saying goodbye or is he about to do something? Also I want to know you guys opinion on what Renee did knowing Bella's stance on things already