Troy sat with his head down between his legs. He clutched onto his hair. He groaned in frustration. He wasn't managing Ryan's advice at all - he couldn't pretend like there were no labels, all he could think about was that G word. It screamed in his head when he thought of Gary. It screamed in his head when he saw Gary. Was he? Was he really gay?

He straightened himself up and threw his head against the wall behind him. He folded his arms and sighed. He was at a total loss. What was he supposed to do?! There was no solution at all.

He picked up his phone and spun it between his fingers. There was only one thing for it.

He flipped open his phone and flicked through his phonebook, and pressed call.

"Hello?"

"Ryan? It's Troy. I'm going crazy here, man. Can you talk?"

"Oh…" Some background noise followed. "Wait here."

Troy heard the phone being put down on something. Lots of mumbling followed and the sound of a door closing.

"Sorry. Back. Yeah I can talk."

"Are you sure it's not a bad time?"

"No, no, it's fine. Was just hanging out with a friend. You need my help more." Ryan giggled slightly.

"Thanks."

Troy updated Ryan with the latest.

"I don't know what to tell ya." Ryan sighed. "But it's good you're not repressing, Troy. If you let it out, let it flourish, it will take its course and eventually lead you to the truth."

"I… guess." Troy sighed. "But my sexual feelings for Gabriella just seem to be depleting."

"Let it happen, Troy. Fighting it will help no one."

Troy screwed up his face. He knew Ryan was right but he really didn't want to just let it happen.

"But what if it turns out I'm…."

"Then I'll be here for you."

"But what about…"

"Gabriella will understand. But stop jumping to conclusions."

-------------

Troy was hanging out with Chad, distracted by Ryan's words. Last time they'd spoken, Ryan had told Troy he doubted he was gay. But this time… Troy shook his head. He was getting used to this feeling of complete helplessness and confusion.

Chad laughed at the movie the two of them were watching. Troy glanced at him. How would Chad feel, knowing he was sitting next to someone who had such thoughts?

Chad glanced at Troy.

"What's up, dude?" Chad frowned. "You look worried."

Troy found himself looking at Chad's lips. They were so plump. Troy widened his eyes. Okay, now he was going crazy. Chad, of all people. Troy folded his arms and slightly pouted.

"What are you sulking about?!" Chad exclaimed, shaking his head.

"Nothing." Troy sighed. "Let's just watch the movie."

Chad narrowed his eyes. He paused the movie.

"Tell me what's up."

" No, no. No."

"Tell me. C'mon, I'm your best friend. You can talk to me."

"Well…" Troy glanced at Chad. "Things are a little strange with me and Gabriella."

"In what way?"

"I, um…" Troy thought to himself. "I feel like… she doesn't turn me on anymore. I almost have to force myself to… well, you know."

"Oh." Chad frowned. "You guys have been together for a long time. Things are likely to get dull. You just need to spice things up a bit."

Troy wasn't convinced. He obviously had missed out the vital part - that he wasn't not only turned on by Gabriella, but females in general. He sniffed to himself, and rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you look so miserable."

"I am. I don't know what's going on in my head."

Chad put his hand on Troy's knee, making him jump.

"Try not to worry."

The rush of electricity rushing through his veins at the touch of a man worried him more than anything. Once again, it was a feeling he hadn't felt since he met Gabriella. How could those very real feelings just go away? He very much used to be attracted to females. How did this happen?!

It didn't help that this was Chad. His best friend for 15+ years. Troy wanted to scream.

------------------------------

The next week, the Albuquerque Thunderbirds were playing their first away game. Troy was looking forward to getting away for a couple of days, it would save him having to fake to Gabriella. But at the same time… Gary would be there.

Their first game was probably the furthest it could have been from Albuquerque, up in Pennsylvania. Troy wasn't a big fan of flying, so he wasn't exactly looking forward to the journey. Still, it ended up that he was seated next to Gary, so it wasn't all bad.

Once he boarded and sat down, he took a deep breath. Take off was the worst. He looked out the window onto the tarmac. He jumped slightly when he felt a weight just left of him.

"Hey man. How are you doing? I hear you're not so good with flying."

"Gary, dude. I'm okay. Just feel a little uneasy."

Gary put his elbow on the armrest, resting his arm next to Troy's. Troy tried to breathe out the electricity shooting through his body. He glanced at Gary.

"You'll be okay, man." Gary smiled. "You can squeeze me if you need to." Gary laughed, waving his arm. "I won't tell anyone." He winked and smiled.

Troy laughed nervously. He threw his head back and took another huge breath. He let out a vague whimper as the plane pushed back.

"Just think of your girl!" Gary said. "Keep your mind occupied on distracting matters."

Troy looked at Gary, who raised his eyebrows comically. Troy shook his head and let out a slight laugh.

The plane started to move forwards. Troy clenched his eyes shut for a moment, and opened them back up.

"Here we go." He said nervously. "I'm okay…"

"I was serious, you know." Gary whispered, and held out his hand to Troy. Troy looked at Gary for a moment, and put his hand into Gary's.

As the plane sped up, Troy squeezed Gary's hand.

"Dude, just take deep breaths. It's all good."

Troy actually felt soothed. He felt completely grateful to Gary for the support, and told himself he'd found a great friend there. What a shame he had practically ruined the friendship before it begun.

Troy took another deep breath and turned his head towards Gary.

"Hmmm. I feel a lot better. Thanks Gary."

"Anytime. We all get scared sometimes. It's our secret."

The two smiled at each other, until Troy self-consciously looked away. He withdrew his hand and entwined it with his other.

--------------------

After the game, which, by the way, the Thunderbirds won, Troy came to a decision on a small idea he'd been thinking about on the flight.

He told coach he'd make his own way back to Albuquerque. He made his way to the train station, and boarded a train heading for NYC.

He wasn't completely sure why he was on his way to see Ryan. But he needed to be with someone who could at least vaguely relate to what he was going through. Well, Ryan was the only one who even knew. Troy felt almost like he might explode if he didn't talk about it, and talk about it soon.

After a long, agonizing train journey, Troy finally arrived in New York. It was late afternoon, so he assumed Ryan would have finished classes. He flipped his phone open and found Ryan's number on his dialled calls list.

"Ryan Evans speaking!"

"Uh, hey Ry. It's Troy."

"Oh, Troy, hey! How're you doing?"

"I'm fine. Are you busy?"

"No." Ryan said, with audible noise in the background. "I can talk if you need to."

"Well, uh…" Troy cleared his throat. "I'm here. In Manhattan."

"Oh! Where?"

"Actually I'm right outside Juilliard."

"I'll be right there."

Ryan hung up the phone, and Troy frowned. How random, he thought. He looked around him and took everything in. He'd never been to NYC before. He made a mental note to bring Gabriella here. If their relationship survived, of course.

Before he knew it, he felt arms wrap round his shoulders from behind.

"Bolton, what are you doing here?"

Troy turned round and smiled at Ryan.

"Hey. Well, I was playing a game up in Erie. So I thought I'd pay you a visit." Troy looked around, and put his hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders. "And, anything to delay going home."

"I take it things aren't getting better for you."

"Dude, I ended up sitting next to Gary on the plane up. I'm a nervous flyer and he held my hand through take off. He actually held my hand. It helped at the time, but…"

Ryan raised his eyebrows.

"Well… do you feel any closer to an answer?"

Ryan tilted his head, and started to walk away from Troy. Troy followed, as Ryan led him onto the Juilliard campus. Troy looked around in awe. It was certainly the type of place Troy wouldn't often find himself at.

"I just remembered what you said about me going to Juilliard." Troy mumbled to Ryan, as a couple of guys dancing in the halls watched him walk past.

Ryan let out a loud laugh, then immediately gave Troy an apologetic look.

"You're a hot jock, what do you expect?"

Troy pouted and crossed his arms. He was relieved when they finally reached Ryan's dorm room.

"Don't worry, Troy. My room mate is straight." Ryan said, letting himself and Troy into the room. "So, how did it feel to walk down the hall of gay?"

Troy shook his head and chuckled. He sat down next to Ryan on his bed.

"Um, I don't really know. It was a little scary, being stared at."

"Well, as long as you know that not all gay men are like that."

"Perverts?"

"No!" Ryan laughed. "I mean like.. Us at Juilliard. Flamboyant. Camp."

"You're not camp."

"I am flamboyant." Ryan laughed. "You know what I mean. There are macho gays. Like you."

Troy looked up and widened his eyes.

"No!" Ryan said quickly. "I meant, macho like you."

Troy let out a small smile, and sighed.

"I need to sort myself out, Ry. I don't even know myself anymore."

Ryan nodded, and put his arm around Troy. Troy at first stiffened, but Ryan squeezed him slightly and he let himself relax. He lay his head on Ryan's shoulder.

"It's not easy. You have to let nature take it's course."

"Thanks, Ry." Troy whispered.

"That's okay. How does it feel to be comforted by a man, huh? Strange?"

"Yeah, a bit. But good. You're a really good friend." Troy smiled to himself.

"And you're sweet when you're vulnerable."

"Vulnerable?!" Troy laughed and sat up. "Don't even think of taking advantage, Evans."

Ryan laughed.

"Don't worry yourself."

Troy rubbed his face and sighed.

"I know I've just gotta see what happens. But it's really hard. It's driving me nuts already. No ideas?"

"Well…" Ryan said, staring at the ceiling. "You could always try just admitting it."

"What? But you said…"

"Hear me out. The more you think about it, the more you're gonna want the answer to be that you're straight. But if you work off the assumption that you are gay, then you'll know if it feels right or not. Because you're not gonna become gay by admitting it if you're not." Ryan frowned worriedly at Troy. "Does that make sense?"

Troy looked extremely freaked out, but was thoughtful.

"Yeah I guess I kinda see what you mean. I don't really understand how you think it will work."

"It's just something to consider. I could help you."

"Like how?" Troy narrowed his eyes at Ryan.

"Close your eyes."

Troy looked at Ryan. He'd had enough of this for one day. For one lifetime. But he was willing to try anything to end it. So he closed his eyes.

"Repeat after me." Ryan said, taking a breath. "My name is Troy Bolton, and I am gay."

Troy took deep breath in, feeling his breath tremble.

"My name… I can't do it, Ry." Troy opened his eyes and fought back the tears that were starting to form. "It's just…. A really difficult thing to say. Especially as it might not be true."

"You can do it Troy." Ryan nodded and smiled to Troy. Troy took a deep breath.

"Let me try again." He closed his eyes. "My name is Troy Bolton." He opened his eyes and looked at Ryan for reassurance. He nodded his head. "And…" He kept his gaze on Ryan.

"And I am gay."

Ryan put his hand on Troy's shoulder, as the tears started to fall.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

I actually really missed writing this while I was away. Should've taken my laptop and I'd have loads of updates for you! Never mind. I'm eager to start writing again so it shouldn't be too long. Though I'm not sure anyone is keen on seeing how the story develops LOL.x