Chapter Three

The collective group of detectives…plus Alex enters the room now known as Olivia's. She's lying in bed with a sullen and distasteful expression. Her mind is reeling from the events that have led her here.

As her friends spill in from the hallway her heart breaks from the looks of pain and anguish on their faces. First Elliot-her partner and best friend –a look of brotherly love and heartache, then Cragen-the father she always wanted-hurt and worried that this might finally break her, and then there's Munch and Finn-her personal body guards and friends-each with a look that gives evidence to the tears they cried, then finally there's Alex-her secret love-with a look of…dare she think it…complete and total love and devotion, pain, and anger for the scumbag who did this.

"Hey." her voice is barely a whisper and she just can't take their stares any longer and shamefully lowers her head suddenly finding her hands much more bearable to look at.

Alex is the first one in motion and reaches her side in almost an instant. Grasping her face in her hand and urging her to look at her. She stares into Livs scared and haunted eyes and chokes out a sob, her voice trembles and shakes "Are you…are you okay?"

Olivia manages a faint and unenthusiastic smile, "NO!" She sobs out finally allowing the tears to fall. Alex settles on the edge of the bed and pulls Olivia to her in a crushing embrace, effectively delivering the comfort needed for her damaged friend. Olivia grasps tightly to the front of Alex's shirt, hanging on as if Alex was her life line and may disappear at any moment. Her sobs echoing through the hospital room and clutching everyone's heart in a vice grip, threatening to pull the aching muscle right out. Alex glances behind her at the still motionless detectives and sees a look of utter disbelief and heartache on each of their faces, one that she's most certain mirrors her own. Each knowing what happened finally broke the indestructible Detective Benson.

Several hours later finds Alex and Olivia in the same position, still holding on to one another. Olivia's tears having dwindled away into soft sniffles and red rimmed eyes. No attempt at speaking was made and they just sat there, trying with everything they have not to break down again. The guys having left earlier left the two of them to compose themselves and promised to return sometime tomorrow. The doctor stopped by and told them that Olivia could be released and dropped off some paperwork to feel out, neither woman acknowledging her presence. They just sat there, neither one daring to move for it may become a reality they couldn't face, a living nightmare way to close to home.

Finally it was Olivia who broke the intense and gut wrenching silence, "Thank you" she utters in the softest of voices, lifting her head from Alex's shoulder.

"You're welcome." She whispers out, her voice hoarse with her own tears. "How're you feeling now?"

"Umm…better. Still not ready to move or think or breathe, I just wanna sit here and pretend what happened didn't happen."

"Okay" Alex replies, "Do you…um… wanna be alone?" she asks hesitantly, hoping with all her heart the answer is "no".

"Umm…no, I just need you to hold me and I'll be fine." Olivia says softly "All I need is you, to make everything all better." She settles back against Alex and closes her eyes allowing the exhaustion she feels and the headache forming to finally take its toll.

Alex listens as her breathing deepens and sleep consumes her. Olivia holds tight to Alex's shirt, feeling the comfort of her arms wrapped securely around her, grounding her to some semblance of security. As her charge sleeps on Alex uses this time to reflect on the night's trials and the feelings running rampant through her mind and body.

'How am I supposed to help her with this? Can I help her? …I can't believe this is happening, especially not to Liv, my sweet Olivia! I feel broken and … and I don't know how I feel. My heart aches, my minds racing with all kinds of thoughts and images of what might have happened and what shouldn't have happened. I can't focus on any on thing, pictures popping in left and right, each one horrific and terrorizing. Who would do this? Why wasn't she safe? …Why…why couldn't I protect her and what will this do to her in the long run? I'll do everything I can to help her through this. She didn't deserve this and God help the beast that did this!' with that last thought Alex pulls Olivia tighter and allows herself to drift off, never once letting go of the snoozing party in her arms.