Chapter 8- To Hell With It, It's Now or Never

Bella

Last night I had an extremely restless night, I kept tossing, turn and waking up literally on the hour of every hour. It came to the point where I just gave up on the concept of sleep just for tonight and read Wuthering Heights for the umpteenth time.

After getting out of the shower I wiped the steam off the mirror and just scowl at the person staring back up me. I hate when I let myself get so worked up that it affects my sleep because right now I looked so dull with bags under my eyes (today is going to be a long day.)

Maybe today I'll try a different approach on talking to Edward that is if he's not glowering at me and well Alice that one I'll just play by ear. It's too bad I do not have classes with her let's see if I grow a pair by lunch to walk towards them in the Cafeteria. Yes my resolve for today is to try and befriend the ever so reclusive Cullen's.

Today I was so anxious for lunch to come and believe or not I had a game plan however the day literally dragged, seriously why is it when your anticipating something the day seems to be prolonged till that time comes? Jessica my "self-proclaim BBF" between classes and during some kept chatting about mundane typical high school crap. Sometimes I mainly zoned out on her or just nodded my head and said "really" or "you don't say" just so she'll think I actually gave a rat's ass.

By the time lunch came around I was extremely happy however upon entering the lunchroom my mood change drastically. Alice smiled and waved when I looked her direction however Edward was nowhere in sight. Why the hell did his absents at lunch bored me so much? I hope his absents does not have anything to do with yesterday or maybe he's just running late for lunch.

Lunch came and went and soon it was time for Biology but still Edward was a no show. I sighed staring at the empty seat beside me hoping this had nothing to do with yesterday and that maybe he's sick or something.

Everyday I told myself I'll approach Alice to see if he's alright but whenever I enter the lunchroom she looks up at me with a knowing smile like she's waiting for me to make a move and I just chicken out.

Alice

When you see someone you love and care for deeply in so much pain all you want to do is comfort them however it's too early to intervene. Bella had to be the one to approach me for the path to stay its course. Also the last thing I need is the others becoming suspicious of my actions right now because they'll want to move if they knew Bella is the same girl I once visit especially being as how I have not age since then.

In all honesty though I believe if they're to suspect something and want to move I would let them leave without me. I love my family dearly however my connection to Bella runs very deep almost as deep as my love for Jasper.

When saw that she decided she was going to make the move to befriend Edward and myself I was jubilant however the next day in Edward's absents she began to doubt her judgment and changed her mind at the last minute. She even started to believe Edward's absents was entirely her fault. Granted she does not know our nature and why technical he is gone because of her it's not because he dislikes her, he's actually believes he's protecting her even though the buffoon is in all actuality causing her more pain.

As the days went on all I could do was sit back and watch while still smiling and waving at her to give her encouragement. Edward needs to serious hurry up and comeback because I do not know how long I much longer I can wait before her resolve weaken completely.

"Yeah Bella I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie and possibly dinner afterwards sometime this weekend?" Bella hesitates in her reply to look my direction before answering

Vision Ends

Well lunch should be fairly interesting today and damn I hate when there are other parties involve so I do not see the outcome of my visions (goodness I hope she says no and why she looks at me before answering does)

After my vision, as lunch approach I became nervous because her answer could essentially change the course of her path especially with Edward's absents and even though I'll still remain in her life; her future happiness and future with Edward could be lost before it even starts.

With lunch finally here I joined the rest of my family at our usual table and waited for the moment they arrived. As Bella entered the lunch her eyes flicked our direction briefly looking for my absent brother and if you weren't immortal you'd of never heard her sigh. Her sigh tugged at my heart and I thought to myself mainly "it'll be ok soon all in due time little one."

I saw her close her eyes while a small smile spread across her face and she gave a brief nod. It was like she was having an internal conversation with herself and it's at moments like this I wish I had Edward's abilities but then again I remember he couldn't read her mind either.

Upon entering the lunch line to obtain her food he grabbed her hand and my vision begun to play out before my very eyes.

"Yeah Bella I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie and possibly dinner afterwards sometime this weekend?"

Bella hesitated looking my direction and for a belief second a new vision presented itself before and I could not help but to smile.

Bella

Friday came around I was pretty much defeated and did not expect him to be in school either nor could I find the courage to actually approach Alice. As I entered the lunchroom my eyes flickered out of habit in that direction and I could have sworn I saw Alice give me a sad smile. I sigh briefly and closed my eyes to begin to give myself a mental scolding about this attachment and disappointment I let myself have towards Edward and Alice when I swore I heard a voice telling me in a whisper "it'll be ok soon all in due time little one."

For a moment I thought I finally crack but this voice sounded extremely familiar and when it said "little one" I couldn't not help the smile nor the slight nod. It was like it was something in those two little words that assure me that my patience would be rewarded also it was something about that phrase "little one" I kept repeating it to try and trigger the importance about it.

I was pulled out of my reverie by someone tapping me on the shoulders. "Bella are you okay I been trying to get your attention for a while."

I looked up to see Mike standing next to me "oh sorry Mike kind of zoned out for a bit everything alright?" Mike looked at my nervously and I felt a panic starting to rise in me please don't let him do what I think he's gonna do.

"Yeah Bella I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie and possibly dinner afterwards sometime this weekend?" I cringed internally I knew Mike had like me but I only wanted nothing but a platonic friendship from him. It's actually sicken how he follows me around like a lab dog, goodness can you imagine how worse it'll get it I were to give him any bit of the slightest hope of anything more than a platonic friendship.

I tried to decide of all the different decisions and scenarios I could consider. Charlie did want me to join him when he went fishing down at La Push this weekend so I could hang out with The Res kids. However I rather torture myself by go shopping and do all those frilling girl stuff than waste my time first or hanging out on a beach in the cold. I do not know what cause me to look at Alice at that precise moment when the prospect of shopping entered my mind but I also realize I could invite Alice to go shopping with me that way I didn't have to face her other siblings and I could get to know her one-on-one.

I turned my attention back to Mike and realize he was still waiting for my response when a small smile spread across my face he misread it as I was going to say yes. I felt a twinge of guilt but I knew at least I was letting him down easily.

"I'm sorry Mike but I kind of already have something set up for this weekend" he looked at me incredulously before asking "with whom?" I bit my bottom lip because I knew I had not ask her yet and I did not want to say her name even though I knew he wouldn't dare ask him but he'll make a scene and the gossip would start and I really did not want to lose my temper today. "Look Mike it really does not matter whom I made plans with the fact that matters and remains are that I have plans already." It was like he was like really desperate to go out with me because he had the audacity to ask me to "you should cancel your plans so you could be free to hangout with me."

I was beyond pissed off now could he really not take a hint and be this cocky I could not help the harshness in my tone when I responded "Look Mike I told you NO twice now and I refuse to repeat myself. Now if you'll excuse I'm going to eat my lunch now." Without even glance back to his direction I just storm off to the opposite direction to sit at my regular table.

With a bit of stream still built up inside me I did the one thing I chicken out of all this week. I stood up and decided not only and I about to approach Alice know but I'm also going to ask her if she did not mind showing me around Port Angeles or the Seattle area. I saw Alice head shot up and smiled in my direction and I swore to myself it's like this girl knows what I'm about to do or something.

I swear the whole lunchroom became silent as I stopped right beside The Cullen's table. "Hey Alice" She nodded her head and I saw her siblings (hell everyone in the lunchroom look at me like I had three heads or something.) "Could I possible talk to you for a sec in private?" She gave me one of the most breathtaking smiles before saying "sure why don't you meet me outside after lunch and we can walk to our next class together and talk." She spoke with so much enthusiasm that one could not help but to feel so bubbly and at ease in her presences.

I met up with Alice outside the Cafeteria and it just seem like she was about to exploded from all the excitement she was projecting. It made me wonder if I'll live to regret my decision and how much caffeine does she consume to be this hyper? Before I even lost my courage I just blurted out "So I know this is a tad bit short notice but I was wonder would you mind showing me around town and possible to a few malls and……" I did not even get to finish once I mention the words mall I was cut off by a squealing Alice. "Ohmigod Bella we're going to have sooo much fun just leave all the planning to me and get plenty of rest tonight." She threw her arms around me as she said all this and for just a brief second I was taken aback by her actions but I returned the hug. Even though I'll regret the shopping part of this trip I thought to myself just maybe she wouldn't be that bad when it comes to shopping one can only hope right? As we were about to part to go our separate classes Alice told me "Bella I'm so happy you've decided to ask me. I can see this is truly going to be a great friendship between us almost like we're going to be kindred sisters of the sorts." She kissed my on the cheeks and walked off to class in dance like steps ever so gracefully that it break a ballerina's heart. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face due to the sincerity of her words my only responses was "I'm truly looking forward to that Alice."

A/n

LOOKING FOR A BETA AND PLEASE EXCUSE GRAMMAR FOR NOW WILL GO BACK AND EDIT SOON.

*Ok next chapter is Alice and Bella bonding time which is crucial to Bella's mental block of things she chooses to repress in order keep her sanity. Bella is going to truly bare her soul to Alice slowly at first and it's something she must do eventually to let go of her past and look forward to her possible future.

*I almost feel sorry for the whole Bella shopping bit but what's a story without some Guinea pig Bella or Bella Barbie and Alice showing her trademark.

*Also do not worry much Edward soon appears like one of my lovely reviewers mention I was not ready to go all emo just yet; but once the bond is solidify between Alice and Bella, Edward shall return.

Preview Chapter 9- A Pixie Dust High (Whatever you're on Share the Wealth)

"Wakey Wakey sleeping beauty?"

"……Edward……"

"Humph I do not know whether to be offended or pleased that you call my brother's name out in your sleep…… exactly what type of dream your having missy?"

"Seriously Victoria Secrets Alice?"

"Oh Come on Bella it's not like it's the end of the world besides you never know when you might need to show off your little secret." She added a wink to her comment and I ended up turning at least 20 different shades of red.

"That's just one secret I do not intend on sharing anytime soon" I hissed out of embarrassment.

I swore I heard her mumbled so fast that I only caught bits and pieces along the lines of "God I swear ……Edward…… you…… for each other."