The Story Continues...

Scraps and Snippet

Looking up from the book she was reading, Blake Jamison was startled to see Bobby just sitting and staring vacantly at the computer screen in front of him. In the months she and he had been dating, she had noticed an alarming rise in number and length of these fugue states that seemed to overtake him at times. He was as attentive to detail, dedicated and intense at work and as tender and passionate at home as ever, but there was something off, he looked so haggard. As he would have put it, "his affect is off." Under his eyes, dark circles had formed and sometimes he would lose his train of thought in the middle of a conversation. Initially Blake hadn't thought too much of it, because in a way that behavior was as much a part of his charm as his brown eyes and curly hair. Recently, he had started disappearing for several hours every day and she was becoming very concerned.

Night after night, Bobby would make love to her and leave her satisfied and exhausted, but he would never go to sleep with her. He would hold her until he sensed she had drifted off to sleep and then get up. In the past three and a half months, she couldn't remember when she had last seen him sleep. When she would ask him about it, he assured her he was fine. He would joke that he did sleep when she was asleep, just not as long, so it might seem to her that he never slept, even though he did. She had tried confronting Bobby several times and he would distract her with verbal games and sex until her concerns were temporarily forgotten.

The worst part was the disappearing for two and three hours every day. He wouldn't tell her where he was going. If it had been any man other than Bobby, she would have suspected it was another woman. While Bobby's fidelity wasn't at issue, his health and well-being definitely were. Where was he going and what was he doing? Every time he would disappear and return, he seemed more alert and cheerful. Blake decided when the next time he left, she would follow. The idea of doing so didn't set easy with her though. The was a very good chance that he would discover her, and the implications and his reactions to that filled her with trepidation. The idea also conjured up images of Bluebeard's wife at the idea of following him. But Bobby had come to mean too much to her, she felt she had to try and get to the bottom of things.

Abruptly, Bobby stood up from his computer and announced that he was going out. Blake smiled innocently and watched him as he went out the door. As soon as the door closed, she stood and raced to the door. Slowly, cautiously she opened the door just wide enough to see that Bobby was waiting at the elevator. She waited until he entered the elevator and the doors had slid shut before leaving the apartment. She was surprised when she realized he was taking the elevator up and not down. Where was he going in the building? He had a nodding acquaintance with several of the people in the building, but not any real friendships.

She ran to the stairs and started up, checking from the safety of the stairwell for him on each floor. On the ninth floor when she arrived at the door, she peeked through the small-reinforced window and quickly pulled back and scurried back down the stairs. He was coming towards the stairs. She leaned against the stairwell wall and held her breath as she heard the door open and Bobby's tread on the stairs heading for the roof. What could possibly be on the roof? Quickly and quietly, she followed his trail. Cautiously she pushed open the door and saw Bobby entering a building in the middle of the otherwise empty rooftop. What could Bobby possibly be seeking up here? She crept towards the door. The door was shut, but not tightly, and she crouched down and peered inside.

There was a narrow single bed and Bobby was sitting on the edge removing his shoes and coat. Then he climbed in and clutched a little toy puppy to his chest and spoke softly. His voice was so soft that Blake had to strain to hear him.

"So… so tired Scraps. I know I should tell Blake about this, but how? Grown men aren't supposed to need childhood toys animals in order to go to sleep. I've tried sleeping without you, Scraps, but I can't do it."

Bobby's voice trailed off and he fell asleep. From the doorway, Blake watched as Bobby slept. Was this where he went every day? Briefly, she toyed with going into the room to tell Bobby he was being ridiculous and to bring his stuffed animal downstairs. However she'd learned early in their relationship not to push too hard at Bobby, because he would look of hurt that she'd see in his eyes would have her feeling guilty for days. She shook her head and smiled at the contradictions this man presented. There was the relentless interrogator who could turn a suspects' fears against him or herself, a righteous man raging against injustice wherever he saw it, but the slightest sign that Blake was anything but happy and content would bring his mood crashing down and he would become so quiet and sad-looking.

Quietly she backed away from the door, eased her way off the roof, and ran back down to the apartment where Bobby would expect to see her. She spent the next several hours wondering how to broach this subject. When Bobby walked through the door, she was in the kitchen fixing a quick dinner of pasta and salad. He leaned against the doorjamb and watched her efficiently maneuver around his kitchen. When she felt his eyes upon her, she turned and smiled at him. She walked over, hugged him tightly, and said nothing. Nothing about what she had witnessed upstairs, nothing about how much she wanted to ease whatever burden it was that had prompted this behavior. Everything in its time, she thought.

They talked through dinner about the movie they had watched the night before. Several weeks ago, they had begun talking about and plotting a perfect murder. They had each chosen a high profile target and each were working on their own perfect scenario. Every time Blake thought she had hers, Bobby would point out to her the giant flaw in her plan and didn't hesitate to point it out to her, as he did again this night. She could find no fault in Bobby's plan, although he assured her it was there, it was always there. When they had finished cleaning up from the meal, Blake pouted prettily that she was dying for hot chocolate from the coffee shop down the street. She knew Bobby would insist on going to get her heart's desire. That, she thought, would give her just enough time to do what needed to be done.

She was right and Bobby left on the hot chocolate run. She opened his center desk drawer and grabbed Bobby's lock picking kit (the one he didn't think she knew about) and ran upstairs to the room where he had slept earlier. Since getting together with Bobby, she'd learned all manner of useful skills and interesting bits of information. Soon she had the door unlocked. With a satisfied grin on her face, she rushed into the room, grabbed Scraps, closed, and locked the door behind her.

Carrying the stuffed dog downstairs, Blake spoke to the little stuffed animal, "You and I need to become better acquainted because it seems we both have Bobby's best interests at heart." The little dog was worn, battered and threadbare. It looked well-loved and must surely have been favored above all others, to have lasted these many years.

Hiding the stuffed dog under her pillow, Blake smiled. Bobby absolutely hated it when she mentioned finding something cute or endearing about him, but the stuffed dog was really quite sweet. Couldn't he understand yet that she loved everything about him? Blake had witnessed Bobby work some spectacular crime scenes, efficiently and cooling and that methodical approach to violence intrigued her. At the same time, she loved his old-fashioned streak, with a penchant for ballroom dancing and formal manners. This new side, this extremely vulnerable side that he'd been hiding was incredibly endearing and she looked forward to getting to know this new facet of Bobby. Changing into a nightgown, she waited for him.

Bobby returned, bearing two steaming cups of hot chocolate before presenting it to Blake with a flourish. "Your hot chocolate, milady..."

Taking the offered cup from Bobby, Blake smiled warmly and asked "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Actually I think I might have a small idea, but I think I'd rather you showed me just ... just to be certain." Bobby reached out and brushed a loose strand of hair from her face.

Blake took a sip of her hot chocolate and then another before slowly setting it aside. Any other man would have been furious to go out especially to get the hot chocolate and to have her take only two sips. However, Bobby wasn't just any man, he really seemed to care about Blake's happiness, and if two sips was all she wanted, that was reason enough to have made the trip in Bobby's mind. Being with him was very liberating because he encouraged her to do whatever she felt like whenever she felt like it. Part of why she finally broke her own rule about dating a cop, was that time she spent with Bobby was so wonderful - strange and difficult, challenging and empowering - and fun too.

Looking up at Bobby, she grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom. Blake uttered one word, "Strip."

"Merely undress or am I expected to dance?" Bobby inquired with amusement.

"Just undress and get into bed, unless you really feel the need to dance," She teased. "Far be it from me to stop you if you want to dance."

Bobby undressed and put on a pair of pajama pants she handed him and got into the bed as Blake pulled the covers back. Once Bobby was laying down Blake slid into bed beside him and kissed his cheek, kissed his forehead, kissed the tip of his nose. He reached around her to take her in his arms but she drew back slightly. Confused, Bobby looked at her, wondering what Blake had in mind. "What?"

Hesitantly and nervously, Blake whispered, "Bobby... Bobby, I've thought about this for awhile today, and ... and I'd really like someone to join us tonight."

Instantly, Bobby's expression clouded over and an angry look came over his face. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Blake, but no one, male or female would ever be permitted to share their bed. Silently Bobby watched as Blake reached under her pillow and brought out Scraps. Relief battled with embarrassment and confusion as she brought the stuffed dog between them and smiled at him. Uncertainly, he returned her smile and waited for an explanation.

"I followed you earlier because I've been worried about you. Even though I know you're always here, I get lonely sleeping without you. So I decided that I needed to know who you've been running off to go meet up with. I have to admit I was quite relieved to see that it was Scraps here. I was also thinking that maybe he could start sleeping here with both of us and then none of us would be left alone."

Bobby ducked his head in embarrassment, but also in relief. "I feel really foolish about this, all of this… I found him when I went through the few things that my mom still had left and there's just so many times I can't seem to shut down…"

"Oh don't, please don't... I don't need an explanation. ! I'll grant you that it's a little ..."

"Infantile." Bobby supplied.

"No, not at all. It's about comfort, being comforted and needing to be comforted. I understand that and there's nothing infantile about that. Everyone needs comfort and sometimes what comforts us most, makes no sense to anyone else. I think it's sweet and endearing…" Blake stopped as his expression clouded over slightly and she continued, "in a terribly brilliant and deadly sort of way. In fact you're absolutely terrifying and..."

Bobby put his hand up as he started laughing, "Enough. Okay, you've outed me, but you can not let anyone else find out about this. Can you imagine how much grief Logan would give me over something like this? Or Eames, Ross or, ohmigod, the Chief of D's? If he found out about this, he'd have Olivet sign off on me so quick..."

Laughing at the look of horror on his face, she silenced him, pressing her lips to his. Scraps was shortly forgotten as they kissed. The little stuffed animal was gently placed on a pillow on the floor and covered with Blake's nightgown. Later Scraps joined them up in the bed and the three slept through the night, together.

At Valentine's a female plush and soft puppy arrived. Blake named her Snippet. From then on, most nights would find Bobby and Blake asleep in each other's arms while they cradled their own stuffed animal. Most nights Scraps and Snippet would spend quite a while in a basket beside the bed, because there are just some things puppies should never see... even plush toy puppies.

More to come…