Sorry guys about the long hiatus. I have plenty more written but I got busy and didn't get to editing what I have (I have solved that problem now since a good part of the rest is edited). Hopefully, it was worth the wait as this chapter is about Mighto Gai LOL.
As usual, I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.
Chapter 4
Interview with jounin Mighto Gai
Gai stood in training ground 3 waving as a young boy dressed in green spandex with his pink hair cut into a bowl cut raced away toward Konoha's ninja school. The look of pride on his face was unmistakable. He
pushed his toupee on his head more firmly and adding a touch of chakra to make sure it would stick as he walked over to the pair of chairs being set up for his interview. A pretty lady waited for him in one of the chairs. Putting on his most rakish smile, the strutted over to her.
"Hi, I'm Mighto Gai, the beautiful green beast." He drawled seductively.
The interviewer frowned slightly. "Good. Sit down."
He draped himself back against the chair with his legs spread as if preparing for her to be unable to restrain herself. He seemed confident in his good looks even though his toupee looked like a dead squirrel on his head, a black dead squirrel.
"I'm ready for my interview sweet thing." He said with a smile. "Afterwards do you want to go back to my place?"
"Let me check my calendar," she replied picking up her day planner. "I'm open on the twelveth of never."
"Ooh, shot down," he moaned. "Shot down in the flower of my youth."
"I think the young train left eons ago," she retorted.
Gai sat up in his chair a little dejected muttering to himself, "I'll bet my eternal rival got nowhere with her too."
"And Action..."said the director.
"I'm here with jounin Mighto Gai, Gaimaru's father. Hello, Gai-san."
"Hello, I am Konoha's beautiful green beast," He said with a smile.
"Uhm, right. So the Rokudaime has already informed us that Sakura's children were born through artificial insemination or AI. Is that correct."
Gai hesitated momentarily, "Uh, yes that is true."
"You hesitated. Is that how Gaimaru was conceived?"
"Well, uhm, no," said Gai quietly. "She asked me not to talk about it."
"Come on Gai-san, our viewers have right to know how such a handsome young man as yourself came to be a father," she purred.
"I really shouldn't"
"It'll be our little secret." The interviewer tilted her head cutely and touched her chin with her index finger.
"Oh, all right. It was after Inokura and Deidura were born. Sakura was really upset about something. I never figured out what it was. Kakashi and I were having a guy's night out at the bar. It was one of the best nights of my life."
"Really," asked the interviewer leaning in toward Gai.
"I think it was. I was having a great time with Kakashi."
"A great time with Kakashi?"
"Uh, not like that. I'd finally gotten one up on him in our rivalry and he had to treat me to dinner and sing Karoke. I challenged him to another task so he could try to catch up."
"And what would that be?" asked the interviewer.
"He had to sing "I'm Too Sexy!" giggled Gai into his hand. His toupee slipped slightly.
"I can't imagine the Rokudaime singing that," gasped the interviewer.
"Oh he did. Motions and all," guffawed the jounin. "That's when Sakura walked in. I don't think she even noticed Kakashi on stage. She found me and asked where he was."
"She asked after Kakashi-sama?"
"Yes, and when I pointed to the stage, Kakashi was singing that he was too sexy for his mask and all the women in the bar were yelling at him to take it off. Sakura turned bright pink and ordered a drink. Kakashi never made it back to our table. I don't really know where he went after his rendition of 'I'm Too Sexy", but it was the best night ever. Sakura stuck around and had a few more, so did I actually.
"After a couple drinks, she started to hit on me. At first I resisted, but we kept drinking. Next thing I knew, I woke up alone in my apartment, sans jumpsuit. Nine months later, Gaimaru was born."
"So you are a blackout drinker?"
"No! Not usually. Once in a while though..."
"I see and so you are just a dirty old man who wanted to get his hands on some hot young flesh?"
"No, it wasn't like that! It was two young people enjoying the flower of youth!" Gai stood up and clutched his chest as he expounded on how beautiful it was. Behind him the sun set and crashing waves rose up.
"How did you do that?" screeched the interviewer.
"Do what?" asked Gai confused.
"Make the background change, made the sun set, the waves crash? We're in a field!"
Gai looked behind him. There was just the three logs standing in the field.
"What are you talking about?" he demanded.
"I saw it! Didn't you see it?" she pointed to one of the cameramen, who nodded in agreement.
Gai sat down in a huff, his arms crossed on his chest. "You just don't want to hear about the night I spent with Sakura."
"I'm sorry for interrupting you, please go on."
Gai leaned forward with a wolfish look on his face. "How about I show you?" His toupee slipped a little more.
"Uhm, tell me about Gaimaru," said the interviewer trying to change the subject.
"Oh, Gaimaru! Isn't he just the flower of Youth? He has finally earned his elegant suit of clothes. He has trained hard enough that I have presented him with his own green jumpsuit to take his Taijutsu to another level. Soon I will teach him the Lotus and how to open the gates."
"Open the gates, the Lotus? What are you planning to teach that boy?" The interviewer looked accusingly at Gai.
Gai jumped up, his chakra control over his toupee gone now, and the toupee itself gone as well. "What are you implying Miss? I have only my son's best interests at heart."
"Of course you have," replied the interviewer placatingly, motioning Gai to resume his seat. "Do you ever help Sakura with any of the other children?"
"No, only my son. I had to teach him how to stand up to a bunch of girls. Of course Kakashi's daughter was one of them that picked on my son. I think they were all secretly jealous that I could produce a son."
"I bet," muttered the interviewer. "Well, I think that's all we have time for right now."
"So you said you were free this afternoon for me to show you some of my 'techniques'". Gai winked exaggeratedly at the interviewer.
"No," she blurted. "I have to wash my hair." She flung the microphone at the director and stalked away.
"She'll be back," said Gai confidently. "No woman can resist the beautiful green beast of Konoha."
Interlude 1...
While Gai had his interview, Kakashi went in search of Naruto at his favorite Ramen shop. He ducked under the awning to find Naruto at a stool chowing down on a huge bowl of ramen. A pretty girl waited on him while an older lady stood behind making the ramen.
"Uzumaki Nartuo!" barked the Rokudaime. "You are supposed to report to the Hokage's office first!"
Naruto jumped slightly and turned around sheepishly. "Oh Kakashi-sensei, it's just you," he laughed relieved.
Rather than argue with the jinchuriki, Kakashi sat down next to him.
"Order a bowl of ramen," said Naruto.
"No thanks," replied Kakashi. "I just came to see if you were sticking around this time. Jirakura looks good."
"I think I might hang out around Konoha for a while. Jirakura told me all about her mom, in great detail."
"I doubt that she knows she has a new little sister and new ones on the way," laughed Kakashi.
"A new sister? Only one?" laughed Naruto sardonically.
"Well, I think there are twins on the way, but no one knows who their fathers are. We never do you know."
"What about the new kid?"
"Do you remember that 6 armed guy you fought long ago? The one Neji killed?"
"HIM! Where does she come up with the..." Naruto couldn't finish.
"No one knows. That Sakura should have been in the ANBU. I've set ANBU Black Ops to find out, but she's good. They've all failed."
"I see."
"Did you know that she's doing a TV program?"
"No, not much chance to watch TV when you are moving as much as we did. I couldn't stay in any one place very long. Jirakura is as pervy as her dad was." Naruto laughed. "She took up where her father left off. I hate to admit it but I introduced her to ero-sennin's publisher."
"She's good," replied the Hokage pulling the purple volume from his pouch.
Naruto laughed. "I see you haven't changed."
"Nor have you," replied Kakashi. "So am I forgiven?"
"I forgave you long ago, sensei. I just couldn't bear to come back to Konoha and watch Sakura do that to herself. I was willing to be there for her through everything and she chose to have both of my masters' children and Kiba's! Why Kiba? She didn't have to do this."
"I know, but some how she feels it's up to her to bring strong young ninja to Konoha, but the situation has deteriorated. I'm seriously worried about some of her younger children. That's why I need you to stay this time."
Naruto just nodded and shoveled more ramen into his mouth.
" By the way, thanks for taking Jirakura. I think she may have gotten very frustrated living in that house and being left behind by Kakura."
"How is Kakura?"
"She made jounin right after you guys left," replied Kakashi proudly. "But I didn't let her join ANBU right after she became a jounin."
"Good thought. She's not like you, sensei," said Naruto.
"Hey!" interjected the Rokudaime, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that I think she grew up in a different time. We're not at war now so she didn't have to kill at such a young age. Like how you protected us."
Mollified, Kakashi replied, "I guess so. And she did have her father around, so she didn't have to grow up so fast."
"That's right." Naruto scooped another bite of ramen into his mouth.
"So did you learn anything more about where Sasuke went?"
"A little bit, I found him a couple times and tried to convince him to come home. But every time he told me his home was no longer Konoha. The group he travels with seems to be getting larger too. But I have yet to figure out exactly who he's traveling with. I know there is a woman though. I wonder if I should tell Sakura."
"No!" Kakashi almost shouted. "I mean, no. Please don't. I think she's already overcompensated for Sasuke's defection long ago. I dread to see what she might do if she finds out that Sasuke is with someone else." The Rokudaime rose. "Well, Naruto, I have village business to attend to, drop by the office and I can start you learning how to be Hokage so you can take over for me."
"Sure, sure," replied the jinchuriki through another mouthful of ramen.
"Have another bowl on me," laughed Kakashi paying the bill.
Naruto's eyes popped wide as he saw his old master pay for the ramen.
"Thanks," he said.
As the Hokage walked out he threw one last comment over his shoulder, "Go see Hinata."
As Kakashi walked away, he passed the interviewer from that morning. She was muttering something under her breath and shaking her head as if to remove some unpleasant image from her mind. From the horrified look in her eyes, it wasn't helping. He wandered a bit closer so he could catch what she was saying.
"I quit. I quit. I never want to see that green freak again."
Kakashi smiled slightly under his mask, pulled out his purple volume again and wandered back to his office.