Title: A Darker Shade of Love
Author: Jordan Herbert
Rating: M throughout the entire fic. Especially this chapter!!!!
Genre: Angst/Slash/Drama
Pairing: Sladin in the beginning with RobinRed X in future chapters
Chapter Summary: Robin knows how to balance his team with his secret relationship with Slade but he's starting to feel guilty. He makes things up with his teammates but now he has to make it up to Slade though Slade has an extreme answer to that problem. What happens when he doesn't want to do what Slade wants him to?
A Game of Baseball
The night was illuminated by the full moon in the cloudless and starry sky. From the natural light, Robin could see the outlines of all the buildings in Jump City. The tall, single skyscraper stood out from the rest of the buildings as the city continued to grow seemingly under Robin's eye. Most of the lights were out on each building but Robin could make out a few single lights on, belonging to those hard workers that were working late or possibly trying to get an early head start for the next day. It was such a familiar site to him, the darkness of the city.
Flipping open his communicator, Robin watched the clock flash two thirty in the green light that was the same similar color of Starfire's starbolts. He sighed and tapped the code into the door's hidden number pad and inserted his communicator into the given slot until it chimed. He pocketed his communicator once again and opened the door only a crack so he could slip in.
He was later than he normally was when he snuck back in after spending his night with Slade. But he didn't mind in the least bit, considering what he had done with that extra time with Slade. Robin's face flushed scarlet simply at the night activity. He grinned as he made his way through the Tower, thoughts of Slade and—dare he think it—love running through his mind. He had never felt any happier.
Carefully sneaking past the main room, he made a beeline straight for his bedroom with plans of passing out immediately. He stopped and held his breath when he heard a noise behind him. Carefully slipping his hand down his belt, he tightened his hold onto a birdarang.
A light clicked on and he turned, sliding into a defense position while he held the birdarang at the ready. "Robin," He sighed when he heard the familiar voice and quickly replaced his birdarang back into his belt.
"Guys, you can't sneak up like that on me." Robin smiled at his teammates though under his mask his eyes darted from one worried expression to the other and his instincts sent warning lights throughout his body. "And what are all of you doing up still? I can believe that Beast Boy's up still at two if there was some monster movie marathon."
"There was," Beast Boy grinned. "The Monster from the Black Lagoon was on and so were the two sequels. Ouch," Cyborg elbowed him in the arm and he rubbed his hurt appendage as he glared at the cyber electronic man.
"But that's not the reason that we're all up waiting for you." Cyborg remedied, quickly getting back onto the subject.
"What's going on?" Robin asked as he frowned and took in Cyborg's somber mood. It didn't make sense that his teammates had stayed up to wait until he got back unless there was an emergency and if there was an emergency then they normally would have used his communicator to contact him. Something was definitely wrong.
"Robin, we are worried about you." Starfire spoke up as she bowed her head and wrapped her hands around her bare arms. "You have been staying out later than usual and when you get home you head to your room of work and stay up even later, getting barely any sleep." Hearing that from Starfire in such a dreary tone when her voice usually filled with so much excitement and passion made Robin feel incredibly guilty and he almost considered telling them the truth. Almost.
"Guys, I'm sorry about making you worry so much, but I'm fine, really. I've just been out late to get more work done and I'm use to the late hours so it's nothing. Besides, I've found out a lot so it's all for the greater good of Jump City." Robin tried to persuade his friends into dropping the topic. "But you're right, I do need to sleep so I'll skip the files tonight and go to bed now."
"Robin," Raven looked him in the eyes. "We're not worried about your lack of sleep. You've been happier in the past two weeks than usual. We're worried about your obsession with Slade."
"It's not an obsession." Robin snapped. "Besides, no one even mentioned Slade." He glared and looked at the ground, willing himself not to pout and cross his arms over his chest. He hated when his team started to question his motivations with Slade. They didn't know the whole story yet, but they didn't need to. Robin was doing exactly what he said he'd do; stop Slade, no matter what. Dating Slade to stop Slade, spending time with him, learning more about him, it was well worth it.
"But that's where you've been, huh?" Cyborg asked and Robin tensed as he wondered how much his team knew and what they would say next. "You've been out trying to dig up things about Slade."
Robin released a soft sigh of relief. "So what if I have? Every time I go out at night and learn something about Slade is another night that Slade doesn't do any more harm. Whatever it takes to stop Slade I'm willing to do."
"That's not healthy, dude." Beast Boy frowned and rubbed at his eyes. "You've got to stop worrying about Slade. I mean, the guy hasn't shown up since you tried to fool him as Red X." The tension in the hallway suddenly got thicker simply at mentioning that incident. "Maybe he lost interest in whatever he was going to do or you scared him away by showing how far you're willing to go to stop him."
"Or maybe he got a new plan from that mistake." Robin brought up quietly, almost a murmur. "Guys, I…" He faltered for a moment for something to say. "I'm sorry for worrying you. How about we have a night to hang tomorrow? I know I'm a day late for movie night, but how does a few movies, pizza, popcorn, and just us five sound like?"
"Wonderful!" Starfire burst out happily before anyone else could say something. Raven and Cyborg smiled as well and Beast Boy pumped his fists in the air.
"Dudes and dudettes, I propose a ninja movie marathon!" Beast Boy beamed and held out his hand which Cyborg eagerly delivered a high-five to.
"Man, that's what I'm talking about. Alright, y' all, let's get some shut eye so we can stay up extra late tomorrow." Cyborg declared happily as he turned around and headed toward the hallway with his room. "Night," he called out behind him as Raven bowed a goodnight and headed with him.
"Goodnight friends, have the sleep of pleasantries." She waved and floated off toward her room.
"Night, Robin." Beast Boy grinned. "Try and get some rest because once the sun goes down tomorrow its one kung fu action movie after the other." Beast Boy made a loud noise and karate chopped the air as he headed past Robin's room toward his own.
"Goodnight," Robin called out, grinning as he opened his door and closed it behind him. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes as he leaned against the door. He already wanted to see Slade again and now he had to wait two days before he could.
"Slade will understand though." Robin reassured himself as he stripped down to his boxers and mask and climbed under his covers. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before the memories of the day came back to him and he fell asleep with a grin on his face.
Robin looked over his shoulder and then glanced around once more to quadruple check that no one was around before he bent down and slid into the entrance of Slade's lair. Even though he had seen Slade two days ago, it had felt like an eternity had passed since he had last seen the man. Quickly running through the toxic tunnels, for once just eager to get to Slade rather than just being eager to escape the fumes, Robin bypassed the normal areas where he would stop under a man hole to try and figure out where he was and continued to run instead at his full speed.
Coming to the door, Robin decided to forego knocking—Slade had only told him a thousand times that he didn't need to knock—and just entered. "Hey, Slade," he called out, listening to his echoes and the grinding of the gears as he bounded down the stairs. "I'm sorry about not telling you sooner that I couldn't make it last night, but it was kind of unexpected and the Titans are starting to get worried about the time I spend out. So I might have to start spending one night out of the week with them, just to let them know that I'm fine and to make sure they don't start suspecting anything." Robin explained as he approached the large stone made chair in the center of the room.
The monitors in front of the chair were off, like the normally were when Robin was there, and they cast an eerie black glow on the chair, illuminating the rough corners of it. Robin always wondered why Slade had chose his main chair to be made out of something as uncomfortable as rock but he never questioned the man. Besides, he understood why Slade—with the man's superiority complex—had an urge to have a chair that looked like a throne, complete with his dais.
Slade sat still in the chair, his long fingers laced together as he supported his elbows on the arm rests. "I have a better idea, Robin." Slade slowly looked at the boy and waited until Robin climbed to the top of the dais before he settled his hands in his lap so Robin could take his usual seat on one of the arm rests. "Instead of ditching me unexpectedly and without any notice, like you did last night, let's prevent that from happening, ever again. From now on, I'd like you to stay here, with me, for good."
Robin suddenly tensed until he looked at Slade out of the corner of his eye. He forced an awkward laugh that echoed in the room and felt the tenseness from himself seep out to invade the air. "You're…you're not serious right? I mean, we've only been dating for a few weeks, it hasn't even been a month yet."
"Isn't that how teenagers do it nowadays? Besides, I don't feel like we're rushing or anything, we'd merely be doing what is meant to be, only sooner." Slade explained as he watched Robin carefully. Robin's mouth was opened a bit as he stared at Slade, wondering how crazy the guy seemed to be.
"Slade, that's just…" Robin searched for something that wouldn't seem that offensive without coming straight out and saying that he thought Slade was rushing things since he still barely knew anything about the man. "That's just too soon and I can't leave the Titans. I'm not ready to stop being a hero and settle with anyone for a serious relationship; I'm still just a kid and I need to live my life."
"I wouldn't ask you to give up your mantle as Robin; that's the last thing I'd make you do." Slade clarified. "I'm asking you to leave your friends and come join me. I could help you reach your full potential and you wouldn't have to hold back like you do with your friends."
"I'm not holding myself back with my friends." Robin stood from the arm rest and crossed his arms over his chest, offended. "My friends help me train and I learn how to work up different techniques with them that I wouldn't be able to do by myself. Like, Cyborg and I came up with the Sonic Boom technique that--"
"Robin, I know how your little technique works," Slade mocked as he laced his fingers together once again. "And I know that when we spar together, you give me a better fight then you give any of the villains you face with your teammates because you don't want to take the spotlight away from all of them. You want to be fair to your team and that's very kind of you but in the long run it will only end up hurting you. You need to stop kidding yourself and move in with me."
"So I'll move in and then what? You'll train me to take down all the villains that you used to work beside?" Robin asked as he pursed his lips together and watched Slade carefully. His instincts were now on high guard and told him to be very careful on the water he was starting to tread on.
"Of course not, Robin, you'd work with me." Slade enlightened. "You'd easily learn the tricks of the trade and I could help you become the best out there. I could make you so good that not even Batman or any other member of the Justice League would be able to stop you."
"What?" Robin asked, outraged as he stared at Slade with disbelief. "But you aren't even a villain anymore…" Robin trailed off, uncertain himself about what he had just said.
Slade looked at Robin, under his mask, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't believe that I had stopped my 'crime spree' for good, did you, Robin? I simply call this taking time off to try and convince you of the mistakes you're making by being on the so called 'good side' and wasting your talents."
"What? But I thought that you, I mean, I really…I can't believe I thought you…" Robin frowned and shook his head. "I can't believe that I really thought I could change a villain by dating them." He unfolded his hands and started walking down the dais.
"Where do you think you're going?" Slade asked as he stood from his chair.
"I'm going home, you know, to my Tower with my friends. And I'm going to stay there until I have to stop some stupid villain that thinks they can beat us, even if that is you." Robin emphasized as he started for the door.
"Are you trying to break up with me?" Slade glared as he watched Robin walk away.
"Trying to? No, Slade, I am." Robin stopped before he reached the stairs. "I knew this wasn't going to work, I mean, I don't know a thing about you and I thought that I might be able to learn but you still haven't told me a single thing about yourself. This just, this was never meant to be, Slade, we were too different from the beginning."
"No, Robin, you can't be any more wrong." Slade declared as he started toward Robin, making the boy turn around as he listened to the heavy footsteps. "First of all, we aren't that different from one another which is why we are a perfect couple and why we are going to stay a couple. If you think it's too soon to move in with me then you don't have to, yet, but you will come to your senses soon and come to me when you want to stop wasting your talents, one way or another." Slade stopped in front of Robin, invading his personal space and grabbing his shoulders. "But you will never break up with me, Robin, do you understand that? This relationship isn't over until I say it is. You are my boyfriend and my boyfriend only. I allow you to spend time with your friends and play the hero but when it comes down to the truth, you are mine, boy, understand?"
"You have some nerve, Slade." Robin tried to tug out of the man's hold. "If you really think that we're still going to be together, especially when you try to treat me like that, then you are the one that couldn't be any more wrong. I don't belong to you, I don't belong to anyone!" Robin continued to try and pull out of Slade's grip. "Now, let me go!" Robin hit Slade's elbows, forcing them to bend and he released his hold just when Robin tried to tug out of them again.
The force sent Robin stumbling back, hitting the first step and falling backwards, landing awkwardly on the steps and banging his head. "Robin," he moaned and blinked his eyes as he felt a hand on his face but couldn't see anything. He moaned again but couldn't fight as he fell into unconsciousness.
Robin woke with a painful mutter. He opened his masked eyes slowly to see Slade's masked face, a bit blurry still, and the man's bare chest with a dark background. He was a bit shocked and as his eyes fully refocused he saw that Slade wasn't just bare at the top but he was completely bare, except for his mask, of course. Robin shivered, not in a good way, as his memory of the events before he had become unconscious rushed back to him and it was then that he noticed that he was completely naked aside from his mask as well, which caused a whole new set of shivers up his spine.
Noticing that he was no longer on the cold floor of Slade's main room but instead had been moved and was now lying under Slade on Slade's bed, Robin started to panic as he knew what Slade was planning; a demonstration of how much he owned Robin. Slade had both of his hands on either side of Robin's head and his knees straddling Robin's hips; the boy was pinned beneath him.
Taking a deep breath to calm his shaking body, Robin shook his head and gripped the sheets tightly by his sides to stop himself from digging his nails into the palms of his hand. Slade nodded his head and trailed a lean finger down the side of Robin's face. "N--" Robin realized how dry his throat was and swallowed to moisten it up a bit so he was able to talk. "No," he managed to cry out softly as he released the sheets and placed his hands on Slade's shoulders to keep him at bay. Slade continued to nod his head and ignored the weak pushes.
"No, n-no," his voice cracked with his fear as he started to protest a bit louder. Slade stopped shaking his head, opting instead to ignore all of Robin's protests to the full extent, and moved a knee in-between Robin's thighs, parting his legs open. "Slade, no, stop it." Robin pushed at Slade's broad shoulders and tried to move away from the man looming over him.
His ineffective shoving turned into fists pounding as he squirmed and kicked, trying in vain to get free from the submissive position. Slade continued to ignore him and grabbed at his hands, pinning them over his head as he forced Robin's legs open wider and pressed closer to him, forcing his knees to bend and give Slade even more access to what the man sought.
"Slade, no, don't do this!" Robin hissed in pain as Slade's hands tightened around his wrists and squeezed hard. Slade knelt in-between Robin's pried open legs and adjusted his hold on Robin's wrists to one hand only so he had one free hand.
Trailing his large hand down Robin's body, he stopped in his path to rub at Robin's nipples, earning a strangled moan out of Robin as the boy continued in vain to try and escape and ignore the pleasant sensations.
"Don't do it, Slade, don't." Robin pleaded as he tried to reach out to the Slade that he had fallen in love with. It's true that not even an hour ago he might have willingly done this with Slade, if the man had asked, but that was before Robin realized how insane Slade really was. Robin bit his lip as Slade pushed his knees up more and he felt his legs start to shake at the awkward angle Slade was forcing them into.
Robin watched as Slade's hand pumped Slade's penis, causing it to become erect and seemingly even bigger than it had been when Robin had taken it into his mouth. Robin's eyes widened as Slade lined his erection up against his puckered hole and met his eyes as Robin continued to stare in horror at the scene. "Please, Slade," Robin begged desperately.
He cried out, his vision blurring at the sudden intrusion as Slade shoved into him at once and continued to push into him. He was thick and long, and Robin could feel himself tearing as Slade roughly intruded into him. The man hadn't even used lube or tried to prepare him with prior stretching. It hurt so much that Robin would rather be shot by the Joker again then be put through this experience.
The man finally stopped moving once he was into Robin to his hilt. Robin was trembling beneath him, virginal tears spilling past his mask as he quietly sobbed. "Slade, please, it hurts, Slade." Robin sobbed as he clenched his eyes closed in an attempt to stop his tears and block out his situation. It was not anything like the fullness and sexual bliss he always read about sex. Still, he opened his eyes, trying to see Slade and trying to will him to stop even though he knew that Slade wasn't going to stop; he had worked in the super hero line of work long enough to know about rape and that rapists never stopped in the middle of the act.
Slade wouldn't meet his gaze so he tried to calm his breathing and relax so he could lessen the pain. Slowly, but before Robin had time to get use to the feeling, Slade pulled out and then quickly pushed back in, electing another cry out of Robin. He settled into a pace and closed his eye as he continued to push in and out of Robin's tight body. He grunted with every thrust, panting warm breath against Robin's face through the slits in his mask.
Robin didn't dare open his eyes again as he tried to endure the rape. Sharp, hot pain radiated from his backside as Slade repeatedly slammed into him, flesh slapping against flesh in a bruising way. He knew he was going to have big bruises where Slade's hips kept hitting him and he was aware of the blood running from his hole. The worst part was that his body kept resisting the repeated penetration, only causing himself more pain and Slade more pleasure.
He breathed harshly through his mouth between his sobs, tasting his salty tears as he desperately tried to tug his hands free and end the rape. It seemed to be going on forever and Robin couldn't stand the rough treatment as Slade sped up and pumped harder into him.
"Slade," Robin moaned in pain and bit his lip as Slade groaned and spilled deep inside him. Slade shuddered for a long moment, vibrating Robin to his bones as he added to the boy's shaking, before stilling. Finally, Slade pulled out, eliciting a cracked cry from Robin.
Robin opened his eyes and looked up at Slade's mask. The man's eye was still closed and his chest was rising and falling with his heavy breathing. Robin looked at his reflection in the shiny black of Slade's mask and saw that he looked like a mess, his face was no doubt red—he couldn't tell looking at the mask—and he could see the tear tracks on his face as he only continued to cry. He didn't care that he was crying though. How could Slade have done that? Taken his virginity in such a way? Two nights ago he had said that he understood that Robin wasn't ready for sex yet and that he wanted it to be special. Rape wasn't special, it was just cruel.
Slade's eye opened slowly and he met Robin's masked eyes. Robin waited, expecting Slade to say something. Whether the man—wasn't a man, he was a monster—would try to apologize or simply start screaming about owning Robin again or something. Instead, Slade simply released Robin's wrists and moved to the edge of the bed and then rose.
Robin brought down his hands and stared at the dark purple bruises already forming on his wrists; Slade's prints embedded into his arms. He turned, feeling numbed and bruised at the same time all over, and watched as Slade got dressed. His clothing had been tossed into a pile on the ground and already the man was starting to click his armor on overtop of the spandex. Underneath all the armor, Robin spotted his own clothes.
Slade finished getting dressed and bent down to pick up Robin's few articles of clothing and turned to face the boy. Robin visibly flinched when Slade looked at him and he closed his eyes as he waited for whatever Slade would do next. He jumped when his clothes hit him in the face and he pushed them to the side as he watched Slade head to the door and leave, slamming the door behind him.
Robin blinked and slowly started to sit up. He was so confused. The man had just raped him, stolen his virginity, and then left him. No threats, no apologizes, nothing. Slade hadn't said a single thing to him after he had just committed such an emotional and physical crime. This was the man that Robin had been dying on the inside to see, the man who had done terrible things merely to get his attention, the same man he thought had changed and that he possibly loved.
Pulling his shirt on, Robin continued to cry. He felt so used, like Slade had done everything simply so he could fuck him. He felt like he was no better than some cheap whore. He wanted to do nothing better but curl into a ball and continue to cry. But he knew he couldn't do that; he still wasn't safe. Slade could have left to grab a gun or chains or something. That thought scared Robin and he pulled on the rest of his clothes, wincing as he pulled on the pants but he tried to ignore the blood trailing down his legs.
Hesitantly, Robin rose from the bed and walked to the door, his body aching with each step. He wanted his friends, he wanted the safety of his room in the Tower, he even wanted Batman. Robin pushed the door open and he was shocked that Slade hadn't even locked the door. Maybe he really only did see Robin as nothing more than a whore and he didn't want to bother trying to keep him or trying to kill him.
Robin pressed himself against the wall, one hand above his belt, ready to pull out his bo-staff, in case Slade showed up. He headed to the main room and stared at the back of Slade's chair. He could see blue sparks flying from the chair and he knew that Slade was working on another invention or weapon.
Ignoring the pain and pushing his thoughts away—how could the man rape him and continue on working like that?—Robin quietly made his way to the stairs. Each step seemed louder than the electrical buzzing of whatever tool Slade was using and the turning gears, but Slade didn't stop working.
Robin looked at Slade as he reached the bottom of the stairs and he froze to see the man staring right at him. His instincts roared at him not to fight and simply take flight, to run as fast as he could and never—"I expect to see you tomorrow night, Robin." Slade announced and turned back to his work.
Listening to his instincts, Robin bolted up the stairs and flung the door open as he ran through the sewers. He pumped his arms and forced his legs to keep moving as he ignored the pain and the adrenaline from his fear took over. He had to get away and he had to stay away. Slade was crazy, that was it, and he had to make sure he never met the madman again.
When Robin finally stopped running, he leaned against the building he had stopped in front of and panted, resting his hands on his knees as he felt his legs shake from exhaustion. Robin wiped tears from his eyes and idly wondered if the pain would ever stop or if he would ever stop crying. He glanced around and was surprised to see that he had run straight to the Tower. He was home and he actually felt like smiling but a smile refused to find his face as he went through the normal routine until he was in his room, ever grateful that his team hadn't tried another intervention.
He stared at his bed; it was inviting and tempting, but he knew he couldn't sleep. He had been raped, he had to record what had happened so he could press charges and…Robin paused in his thoughts and slowly removed his gloves as he looked at the blossoming bruises. He couldn't press charges because he'd have to tell the truth about what had happened. How he had actually thought Slade was better than most villains and could be changed. How he had been so naïve and thought that Slade actually liked him. How he had been so stupid and how Slade had played with his emotions.
Robin stripped his clothes off and headed to his private bedroom as he started his shower. He refused to look at his reflection in the mirror and he stepped into the steaming shower, wiping away all evidence as he scrubbed his body clean. He forced himself to stop crying as he imagined wiping away all memories of Slade. It wasn't working though. No matter how much he scrubbed, he could still feel Slade's weight on him, still feel the man's breath on his face, could still feel how dirty he was.
Eventually, the water turned cold and Robin threw his washcloth and soap to the floor in frustration as he curled up on the tile and stared at the shower head as the water continued to pound down on him, washing away each tear as it appeared.
He hugged himself and threw his head back to bang on the tile wall, wincing as he hit the bump on his head that he had gotten from the stairs. He felt like such an idiot. "If I ever see Slade again, I will stop him and make sure that he ends up in jail for the rest of his life." Robin vowed to himself.
It was like what Bruce had once taught him. Life was like baseball. When life throws a baseball at you, you can either catch it and put a stop to its path or you can duck and let it continue on it's path until it's someone else's problem. Robin closed his eyes as he continued to let the icy water fall over his numbing body. He just hoped that he didn't end up dropping the ball.
A.N. Oh wow! Who saw that coming? ...Oh, really, that many people, huh? Well, still, I thought rape at the third chapter was supposed to be a bit surprising but whatever. Yeah, Slade's a total crazy and you know what I like about writing this? It's that I know that Slade didn't see it as rape! Isn't that interesting? Slade's so crazy that he thought having sex with Robin would make their argument better and that Robin wanted it. Just you guys wait until the next chapter though, then you can see how crazy Slade really is!
Just to let you guys know, I'm planning on sticking to the show, meaning that everything that happens to Slade and Robin in the show, happens in this fic as well. So...that ruined the surprise for the next chapter...