Title: A Darker Shade of Love
Author: Jordan Herbert
Rating: M throughout the entire fic.
Genre: Angst/Slash/Drama
Pairing: Sladin in the beginning with RobinRed X in future chapters
Chapter Summary: Robin is on the breaking point. He has had enough.
Author's Note: Okay, so this chapter is going to be the last megga-angsty one 'cause it's seriously just Robin crying, then getting raped, then crying some more, and so on. Also, this was rushed becaue I wanted to post it before I left for Peru. Still, I hope you enjoy it, if you don't; I don't blame you but stick around for the next chapter because I have quite a few things planned!
Bipolar
It was different waking up that morning. He wasn't shaken awake and he didn't feel scared or pissed off at Slade, which really was odd. But it wasn't as odd as waking up in Slade's arms and feeling warm. He felt warm all over but the worst part was that his heart felt warm too.
Robin was pretty sure his heart was still smashed into a million different pieces from when Slade had thrown it against the wall when he had deceived him. Only, it was working because it was beating so rapidly, Robin was pretty sure he could actually feel it thump against his chest. It was starting to worry him.
Especially since he had just finally become determined enough to defeat Slade once and for all. Why did his zombie heart have to come back and fight against him? And why did that thought remind him of Beast Boy so much?
Robin frowned and shifted slightly. Slade's arm was underneath his back and it was no longer comfortable.
"Good morning, little bird." Slade greeted, surprising Robin enough to jump in his arms. Robin mentally cursed Slade's mask; how could he tell if the man was awake or not when he wore that thing all the time? "I think we've slept in enough." Slade slipped his hand out from under Robin. "I'll go prepare your breakfast."
Robin watched as Slade strode out of the room and wondered once more how the man enjoyed wearing long spandex while sleeping. He shook his head and grabbed his own spandex only to stop with his pants half up. Was he supposed to wear the armor today as well? Slade had forgotten to tell him, which really surprised him; Slade forgot to do something. Slade, the controlling perfectionist, left Robin with a decision about something that he had to decide for himself.
He opted not to wear the armor because really, the metal was kind of heavy and the edges poked into his skin when he moved sometimes. Besides, they were easier to put than take off. Robin hurriedly got dressed and ran out to the kitchen to meet Slade for breakfast, his heart still pounding away in his chest.
Slade sat at the small table, watching Robin like he did every morning, and Robin forced himself not to squirm under that gaze. It was hard not to feel self-conscious with someone observing your every mood. But he focused on finishing his normal breakfast even though his hands were shaking more than they usually seemed to and his higher heart rate probably wasn't helping. He just couldn't calm himself down though.
Cursing mentally, Robin's whole body jerked when he felt Slade's leg accidentally brush against his own under the table and he spilt the spoonful of yogurt onto his chin instead of getting it in his mouth.
Slade bent slightly and wiped the yogurt off of Robin's face with two fingers before Robin had the time to grab a napkin and he stared at the man as Slade studied the yogurt. Slade then presented his fingers to Robin by leaving them in front of the boy's face. "Lick," he ordered quietly.
That got Robin's heart rate to drop. In fact, for a moment it felt like his heart had stopped beating. Robin bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from saying anything he would regret but he really hoped that Slade wasn't seriously thinking of doing anything so early in the morning. Robin was no longer up to it.
Slowly, Robin's tongue slipped past his pink lips and lapped at Slade's fingers, licking away all of the yogurt until Slade moaned. Robin froze with his tongue out and his mouth partly open. Slade took it as an invitation and shoved fingers fully into Robin's mouth. "Suck," It seemed like Slade favored the monosyllabic orders.
Robin closed his eyes and did as he was told. He could no longer taste any yogurt; only the taste of Slade's glove and it didn't taste good at all. Luckily Slade got bored of that pretty quickly and pulled Robin out of his seat.
"Slade!" Robin's eyes widened as Slade unlocked his belt and pulled his pants down. "Wha—"
"Brace yourself on the table," Slade ordered as he undid his own belt. Robin gulped but did as he was told. It seemed like Slade was in a really good mood and Robin knew that led to sex but he wasn't imagining sex so early in the day. Apparently Slade liked nooners and even early rendezvous.
Robin hissed and jumped to the balls of his feet as he felt Slade's gloved clad fingers ease into him. His fingers clenched the wooden table and he swore he was going to leave dents before this was over with.
Slade wasn't in the mood to be patient though because his fingers were in and out then being replaced by his burning cock. Robin moaned and his back arched as he threw his head back. He was so sore and this was not what he woke up for.
"Slade," Robin groaned as he bowed his head. Slade's hands grabbed Robin's hips and he started to pull and push the boy's body with his thrusts.
"Please, Slade, not so rough." Robin panted as Slade continued to plow in and out of him. He was rocking back and forth, on his heels then on his toes, and his knuckles were white due to the death grip he had on the end of the table. "I'm not going to be able to walk after this."
Slade laughed breathlessly as he stopped inside Robin to catch his breath for a moment, causing Robin's eyes to widen as he groaned in displeasure at the sudden pulsing and the absence of the friction. "Don't worry, Robin, I'll take care of you."
He started again and Robin bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from screaming the place down. Slade was not taking care of him; he was going the same speed and pressure as before. If anything, the man had picked up the pace and had started to slam into him even harder than before, if that was possible.
Robin knew that Slade was going to be the death of him eventually, especially at this rate. Robin bowed his head as he felt his arms shake and bend at his elbows. Slade's next thrust sent his whole body forward and he slammed his head against the edge of the table. Then, it was black.
"Oh, my head," Robin moaned as he opened his eyes. His hand went to his head and he tentatively touched it. He hissed in pain and moved his hand away to lay it back on the bed. "What happened?"
"You hit your head off of the table," Slade stepped into Robin's point of view and the boy groaned. He really didn't feel like dealing with that man at the moment since his head was pounding and trying to crack itself open.
"You have a bump on your head but you're fine otherwise. You might want to take a shower though." Slade suggested as though he fucked a boy into unconsciousness on a daily routine and it was nothing special. If Robin hadn't known better, than he would have guessed that Slade usually did use a boy to such an extent.
Still, if Robin could have a moment away from Slade, which he only got when he was showering, then he would take it. He would live in the shower if he could; why didn't he have gills?
He groaned as he stood from the bed, his head throbbing and yelling at him for moving too fast, too soon. Slowly, Robin made his way to the bathroom and flipped on the shower, turning it to the hottest it could go without being too uncomfortable for him. The steam that hot showers produced always helped him when he had a headache.
His pants fell to the floor and Robin stepped out of them but he froze before he stepped into the shower. He felt a familiar texture running between his legs.
Hesitantly, Robin reached between himself and stroked a finger on the underside of his thighs, through the texture. His finger was covered in a sticky white liquid; cum, more specifically, Slade's. Slade had finished up inside him. He had known that Robin went unconscious and yet he had still finished up. He hadn't stopped his pleasure simply because Robin was no longer able to do anything—he never could before but then he really couldn't—or even know what was happening.
Robin felt fresh tears running down his face and he quickly stepped under the hot spray of water. The best time to cry was in the shower, he figured as he allowed the tears to run freely down his face. He pushed the palm of his hand hard against his mouth and his body continued to shake as he fought to keep quiet yet get all the aching misery out at the same time.
His salty tears mixed in with the cleansing water as Robin closed the sliding glass divider and pressed his head against the tile. Slade really didn't care about him. Slade really did only see him as a fucktoy; it was obvious now.
And he was completely over it. If that's the way Slade saw him then he was through trying to see the better side of Slade. He was a monster.
"Feeling better?" Slade asked as Robin stepped out of the bathroom, steam following behind him. Robin gripped his towel tighter around his waist.
"Does it really matter?" Robin questioned moodily as he strode over to his part of the closet and dressed, ignoring Slade's leering gaze. He knew Slade didn't really hear his question. Why would Slade listen to what his little fucktoy had to say while it was naked?
He clicked the last piece of armor into place and headed to the door, not waiting for Slade to say anything. "Let's start training already." He walked out of the room and didn't even care to see if Slade was following him. He was.
"I don't think so, Robin. You've had a…rough morning." Slade chuckled and Robin felt his blood run cold. The man had just made a joke out of his plea. And the bastard thought it was funny. "I think it would be for the best if we skipped your training for today and just double it tomorrow. We're going to watch a movie instead so you can relax and get better. It will be just like how we used to date."
"Fine," Robin narrowed his eyes as he changed directions and headed to the room they use to frequently use to watch movies in.
Robin sat down on the couch and slid so that he was pressed up against the couch's arm. He leaned against it, pouting slightly, as Slade got the DVD player set up.
Slade joined Robin on the couch and squeezed his hand between the back of the couch and Robin's back to wrap immediately around Robin's waist. He stroked up and down Robin's side but the boy ignored the gesture and looked at the wall as ads and previews began playing on the screen. He had no interest in the movie or cuddling up to Slade like he used to; they weren't that couple anymore, Slade had demonstrated that fact more than enough.
Slade slid Robin closer to himself until Robin was snug up against him. But Robin refused to touch him anymore than that. He placed his hands in his lap and continued to glare at the wall, ignoring the screen and Slade's gaze. "You're being cold today, little bird." Slade acknowledged as he used Robin's pet name and for once didn't claim him as 'his little bird.'
"No I'm not," Robin denied but to no avail as Slade lifted him suddenly and placed him onto his lap. Robin shifted awkwardly and tried not to feel through the revealing spandex or shift too much. He didn't want to simulate anything.
Slade tried to push Robin back so that he was resting fully against him, but Robin remained stubborn and touched as little of Slade as the man could force him to as he used the strength of his abs to remain sitting up straight. "Robin," Slade growled his displeasure.
"You're armors cold," Robin mocked through his clenched teeth. Slade's hands left him for a moment but it was only to remove his neck plate and set it on the floor with a clank. He then pushed harder against Robin and Robin couldn't resist the strength as he was pressed back to chest against Slade.
Robin shifted a bit more as he tried to find a more comfortable position. Slade's top leg armor was digging into the back of his thighs. "So, what movie are we watching?" Robin asked as he tried to turn his focus on something else. It was hard to distract himself when Slade's hands were clamped possessively on his hips.
"Our favorite; Brokeback Mountain," Slade replied as he started to stroke Robin's hip bones with his thumbs. Robin gulped as the movie began and confirmed what Slade had said. He knew what would happen. Slade would become horny like he always did while watching this movie and he would use Robin to take care of it since the boy was so conveniently placed on his lap already.
Robin forced himself to sit still for the first half of the movie as he ignored the screen and focused only on his breathing. He knew that the less he moved the less he would excite Slade. But he knew that no matter what he tried to do, it was inevitable. Slade was like clockwork with this movie; as soon as one specific scene started, he would become horny.
Robin shifted slightly and stopped immediately as he felt Slade's erection pressing against him. He shivered and looked up at the screen. Sure enough, it was the same scene that always did it to Slade. The one in the tent and oh no, Slade's hands were moving to his belt. Robin swallowed his fear and acted fast.
He pushed off of Slade and stood up. Slade stared up at him and when his eye started to glare, Robin dropped to his knees in front of him. He knew his choices; fight Slade and end up hurting his friends, get fucked by the man for the second time that day, or save himself a bit of pain and simply suck him off instead.
Really, between the choice of a blowjob or a forced fuck, Robin could deal better with the blowjob. He at least had some power with that; he could decide how much of Slade he took in and how fast he moved.
"Robin," Slade's voice held the type of tone that meant he wanted things to go the way he planned and wasn't enjoying Robin's sudden boldness. But Robin was determined to suck Slade off instead and damn the man if he thought his boy-toy was always going to be obedient.
Robin leaned in and mouthed Slade's erection through his pants. He felt Slade pulse so he used his tongue and licked up and down the bulge.
He reached up and unzipped Slade as the man parted his legs. When Robin freed Slade's erection from his pants the man slid his hand into Robin's locks and the boy looked up at his masked face. The glare was gone and Slade's fingers were starting to massage his head in encouragement.
Taking a deep breath, Robin opened his mouth and gripped Slade's cock as Slade pushed his head down and fed him the pulsing organ.
Robin sucked on the uncut head and used his tongue to push at the slit. Slade moaned and shifted slightly, causing Robin's teeth to graze his sensitive flesh how he licked it. Slade liked playing it rough, after all.
He pulled off slightly and ran his tongue on the underside then circled the head with it. His head lowered and his tongue remained out as he licked and sucked at the same time. It caused his to drool more than usual, but he knew Slade didn't give a damn about that.
Robin's tongue froze though as he felt Slade's hand tighten in his hand. He knew Slade couldn't be done yet; he never finished up that quickly. Robin tried to move his head but Slade's grip was too tight, too rough. He was pulling at his roots and it was starting to hurt. Robin whined around Slade's cock and looked up at Slade, hoping that his expression could speak to Slade and get him to let go.
It obviously didn't work since Slade thrusted his hips and Robin's eyes widened as Slade's cock hit the back of his throat and choked him. Robin gagged and again tried to move but Slade held his head still and continued to thrust his hips. Robin felt tears stinging at his eyes as his plan backfired and he started to panic, fearing that he would choke. Slade was still using him, still had him fully under his control, and could now fuck his throat as he wished.
Breathing through his nose, Robin tried to focus solely on remaining calm and opening his throat. It made the experience easier on him and almost made it seem faster too since it wasn't much longer until Slade pulled his hair and came with a grunt down his throat.
Slade's hand released his head and Robin pulled off, breathing hard. "That was good, Robin." Slade praised, obviously not expecting the blowjob but happy due to the unexpected gift. "Now, come sit again." He patted his lap and Robin wiped his mouth one last time as he moved and resumed his seat.
At least with Slade satisfied Robin could enjoy the movie. Unfortunately, Slade's hands continued to stroke Robin's thighs and Robin tried to hold back his frustrated groan, since he knew Slade would mistake it as a moan. He couldn't hold it back and as soon as it was out, Slade's hands moved to his belt.
Robin knew that Slade wanted to recuperate the blowjob—though he didn't know why the man bothered—but Robin really didn't want anything like that. "No, Slade, I'm fine, really." He insisted as he placed his hands over Slade's, stopping the man from unbuckling his belt. "I really don't want it right now." He insisted and moved Slade's hands away from his belt.
But Slade's hands persisted. They slowly and not subtlety in the least of the word, made their way back to Robin's belt. He moved to unclick it and finally Robin lost it.
"I said I don't want it!" Robin shouted. His voice was filled with all of his hatred and anger towards Slade so the man actually stopped and moved his hand away from his belt.
Robin felt Slade tense under him and he suddenly worried that the man would use the trigger due to his little outburst. It could be seen as him disobeying Slade, after all. "I just want to watch the movie." Robin mumbled bitterly as he folded his hands over his chest and glared at the screen.
"Alright, Robin," Slade's voice sounded more distant than it usually did. The man was probably deep inside his own mind, trying to figure out why Robin had suddenly screamed like that. Robin knew that Slade was still turning his blind side to everything that he did to him so the man would probably never realize why Robin was so angry.
After an eternity, the movie finally ended and Robin stood as Slade went to turn off the movie. "What's next?" Robin asked, trying to prepare himself for the rest of the day. He continued to stand in front of the couch, his arms still defensively crossed over his chest as he waited. It was close to lunch time and Robin knew that Slade would hold true to his word and not train for the rest of the day. That only left certain activities to amuse them for the remaining time until night fell.
"What would you like to do?" Slade asked as he placed the DVD back into its case and the case into its proper place on the shelf.
"It doesn't matter." Robin muttered as he glared at the carpet by his feet. He knew that Slade wasn't really asking, wasn't really giving him a choice; he had learned by now that when Slade was involved, he never had a choice.
"Robin, it does matter. I want to know what you would want." Slade insisted as he turned and looked at the boy.
"What I want?" Robin hissed out as he clenched his hands by his sides. He was starting to shake with all of his pent up anger. If he didn't let some steam out soon, he was going to explode.
"I want to go home; I want to be back with my friends. I want to just be away from you for a few hours so I can collect whatever pieces are left of my sanity that I still have and try to reinforce them with some steel so I can survive this hell of an experience with you." He wanted to scream, to have shouted at the man, but even all of his anger toward Slade couldn't bring him enough energy to actually yell. Despite everything, he was just a tired boy and so his anger had sounded more like a desperate, whiny plea.
Robin looked up to find Slade studying him and he turned away as he felt tears start to threaten in his eyes again. He knew, even with the mask on, that his pain was written in bright neon on his face at that moment. And it was probably written in bright green, red, and yellow because his pain would mock him in such a way.
Slade nodded his head as he stared at Robin's back. Now it made sense to him; Robin had been spending too much time with him and was starting to feel smothered by all the attention. "Alright then, you can go rest in the room for a few hours. Take a nap if you wish,"
"Thanks," Robin bit out as he stormed off into the room. He was so close to breaking down; he could feel it on the edge of his mind.
He hadn't meant to fall asleep but he was apparently too tired to try and think of a way of attacking Slade and retrieving the trigger from him. He hated it when his body couldn't keep up with his brain. But then again, he also hadn't meant to release some of his frustrations on Slade since he knew the man would take it the wrong way.
Of course, Slade did take it the wrong way which was why Robin awoke to soft hands stroking his thighs. Robin grumbled something as his eyes opened but he just rolled onto his side to try and avoid the strange, tickling feeling. He really was tired.
Still, the soft hands just continued to stroke up his legs and sides until Robin finally groaned awake. He was so sick of waking up to Slade. "What?" He barked as he rubbed at his mask.
Slade was taken back at Robin's harsh tone but chalked it up to being woken. He wasn't nice either when he was woken up from a nap. "Robin," Slade purred as he removed his gloves. Robin's eyes narrowed as he noticed Slade's armor was already off. His was as well since armor wasn't comfortable to rest in. "I think I understand why you're so upset. We have been rushing a few things," which was the understatement of the world right then, "So I decided we need to slow down," he emphasized, "A bit."
"What does that mean exactly?" Robin asked, skeptical of Slade's words and actions since the man was now pulling his shirt off.
"We had a bit of a one sided spat earlier today." Slade reminded him, as though Robin had forgotten. "And I know that make-up sex is supposed to be fast and emotional, but I feel like you need it soft and slow right now. I'm willing to forgo the typical make-up sex for what you need."
"You're willing?" Robin questioned as his eyes narrowed. Was Slade seriously trying to pass himself off as some selfless boyfriend? "Oh that's so kind of you," Robin hissed through his teeth.
Slade didn't respond, he simply reached out and started to lift Robin's shirt. Robin grabbed Slade's wrist and applied pressure, even though he was pretty positive it had no effect on the man. "Stop it," Robin warned.
"Robin," Slade's voice grew dark as he continued to lift his shirt despite Robin's death grip, "Don't try to fight me, I know what you need."
"No," Robin spat, "You don't."
"If you're going to act difficult," Slade stopped and pulled out the trigger from underneath his shirt. "I can make this a lot simpler. Now, undress yourself and lay on your side like a good boy."
Robin glared, a corner of his mouth twisting into a snarl, even as he pulled off his pants and laid on his side like Slade told him to. Robin hissed with surprise as he suddenly felt Slade's lubed hand on his limp boyhood.
He twisted his hands into the sheets as Slade slowly began to pump him, adding just enough pressure at the top to easily excite him. Robin bit his lip and refused to give Slade the pleasure of hearing him moan as the man's large hand squeezed slightly. The warm skin to skin contact felt so good.
Robin tilted his head back as he breathed heavily through his nose, still biting at his lip each time he felt like moaning. He did, however, groan loudly as Slade pulled his hand away. Robin felt the hand part his soft cheeks and he begged, "Slade, not now, please," even as Slade slid a finger into him.
"Quiet, Robin, you need this. I'll be very gentle with you and you'll enjoy it." The man promised as he laid down behind him, spooning him. Slade adjusted them to a more comfortable position, propping Robin's head on a pillow, and pushed himself into Robin's giving body. Slade held Robin's top leg up and then moved it back to rest on top of his own legs. Slade rested on his arm, bent at an angle above his head and slowly began to move his hips back and forth while he rubbed Robin's smooth leg.
"See, Robin? Nice and gentle, it's exactly what you needed to feel better." Slade claimed as he continued the soft fuck.
Robin buried his face against the pillow under his head and his pants grew louder as Slade continued to thrust in and out, his pace deliberate. Robin groaned as the hand on his leg traced small patterns and finally slid down the soft thigh to his neglected, weeping erection. Slade's leisurely pace matched the slow slide of his hand up and down on Robin's shaft.
"Oh god," Robin moaned as he bit into the pillow and came, splattering his stomach and covering Slade's hand. Slade sped up slightly and came shortly thereafter.
Robin wiped himself off using the sheet and rolled over to his side of the bed. He pushed his head into his pillow to muffle his sobs like he usually did when he couldn't make it to the shower to cry. It wasn't the time to cry, one part of his mind calmly noted even while the rest of his broke and sobbed. But this time, his sobs were too loud. He could hear them echo around the room and he knew for sure that Slade could hear. That didn't stop him from letting it all out though.
He sobbed harder, pounded his fists into the pillow angrily, and couldn't understand why his body had enjoyed that. Why did his body still love the man? Why did he have to be a weak, crying boy all day long? Why was he breaking down right in front of this monster? Why was he being put through all of this shit? Why, why, why?
He was so sick of everything. This routine of waking up, getting fucked, eating, getting fucked, training, getting fucked, do anything, and then getting fucked. If he had to spend one more day like that he was going to do something completely drastic.
Robin wasn't sure when he had stopped crying, showered, and dressed himself again but when he finally came back to himself he was standing in the kitchen, glaring at Slade.
"Apprentice," Slade cleared his throat, "I've decided to send you out on your first mission tonight. I think it'll do you some good to get your mind off of things. You have five minutes to eat while I prep you for your mission."
Alright, and here is when the first five minutes of the episode Apprentice Part Two takes place. Whoot!