Title: A Darker Shade of Love
Author: Jordan Herbert
Rating: M throughout the entire fic.
Genre: Angst/Slash/Drama
Pairing: Past Sladin with RobinRed X
Chapter Summary: Moments between Red X and Robin as their life continues over a year.
Author's Note: So, two months is not that bad for an update, right? *crickets chirp* Right, I'll try and be faster. Um, I did write some Sladin drabbles on my livejournal if anyone wants to read those. Or you can just wait until I finish updating my very own fanfiction website!~ I have all my TMNT fics up already, (stupid main fandom, right?) but I swear this is my second fandom so it's next! Link is in my bio and what not. Oh and all the fluff in this chapter? Don't worry, the angst will be back next chapter.
Bits and Pieces
Robin sighed happily as he spread his arms and legs out on his bed. He had just had another date with Red X at his apartment. They had played videogames and Robin had beaten the pants off of Red X, but had insisted Red X keep his pants on. All the times he had been challenged to video game tournaments by Cyborg and Beast Boy really paid off.
As the winner, Robin had won one kiss after another. Every time Red X lifted his mask off and kissed Robin, it made him smile. Taking off his mask represented a lot to Robin. It signified the trust that Red X has in him and showed Robin that he could trust Red as well. Trust was a perfect beginning for a good relationship.
But it also meant more. It meant that Robin could truly be who he was around Red. He didn't need to hide behind his mask; he could be Dick Grayson. Of course, he wasn't ready to give Red a name just yet. Although, Red had trusted him with his last name. Red X Jones; well, it was a start.
Red X Jones with the envious green eyes, Robin smiled as he thought about his boyfriend. He honestly felt really good about this relationship already.
But he had felt good about his relationship with Slade as well and that hadn't turned out well. Was he putting too much trust into Red already? Would Red X just throw that trust right back into his face like Slade had? Maybe he did trust strangers too easily.
Robin frowned, his good mood instantly gone due to his own thoughts. He sighed and moved to sit on the edge of his bed. He looked out his windows at the cloudless night sky. The moon was low and almost ready to trade places with the sun in the sky.
"Do I ruin my own relationships by being too open too quick?" Robin asked himself aloud. Would he make the same mistakes with Red as he had with Slade? He hoped not. Things were different with Red already. But Red X was a villain still and villains couldn't truly be trusted.
Robin stood from his bed and paced his room, walking through the moonlight paneling in from his windows. He hated dealing with such inner turmoil. Why couldn't thoughts be simpler? Why couldn't he just deal with one emotion after another? Why weren't emotional pains easier to handle, like physical pains were?
As though in a trance, Robin suddenly stopped still in the middle of his room. He took out a bird-a-rang from his belt and flipped the sharp edges out. He stared at his weapon and took off his left glove. He stared at his white, creamy skin. Due to the protection from his gloves, he didn't have any scars or marks on his forearms. He ran the smooth weapon against his skin, sending chills up his spines as the cool material touched his bare skin.
With a careful hand, Robin slowly turned the weapon and ran the sharp edge into his skin. He cut deep, just deep enough to scar, as he ran the weapon in a straight line across his arm; he didn't want to kill himself, he just wanted to draw blood. Robin pulled the weapon away from his skin and stared at the red line as his blood slowly bubbled up to the surface of the new cut.
Robin drew a matching line from the other side of his arm, making a nice red 'x' design in his arm. He hissed as he made the marks intersect. Robin released the breath he had subconsciously held during his odd state of mind and stared at the new cuts in his arm. He frowned and licked his suddenly dry lips.
"Let that be a reminder," he told himself, trying to make sense of the situation. "I can't be too trusting. Love can hurt." He nodded and went into the bathroom. He cleaned off his bird-a-rang and pocketed the weapon again.
Robin dabbed at the new cuts on his arm and decided that they wouldn't scar. He hadn't cut that deep. But they would mark his skin for a very long time. He frowned at his marked wrist and wrapped it carefully, then slid his glove back on.
He'd been up too long. With a blank mind, Robin went back to bed and rested.
"I win again," Red X grinned triumphantly as he held up the bag of stolen goods. Robin frowned and stared at the thief.
"Why did you even steal that, of all things?" Robin asked as he jumped over the gap between the rooftops and landed beside Red. "Honestly, couldn't you just buy your own popcorn or, I don't know, pay for it?"
"Movie popcorn is so much better than that stuff in stores." Red X remarked as he opened the bag and inhaled the salty, buttery aroma. "Besides, food always tastes better after you worked hard to get it."
"Stealing isn't hard work." Robin crossed his arms over his chest.
"No, stealing is hard, sometimes. But it's not honest work, I'll give you that." Red X shrugged his shoulders. "But who cares. Come on, let's go back to my place and watch a movie." He suggested, holding out his elbow invitingly.
Robin smiled and shook his head as he linked arms with Red and joined him in sprinting over the last few rooftops until they arrived at Red's apartment. They slipped in through the window and Red X bounded over to his leather couch and kicked off his shoes. "Come make yourself comfy." Red X pulled off his mask and placed the bag of popcorn on the table in front of the couch. "I'll grab the drinks."
"What do you have?" Robin asked.
"Booze and wine, take your pick." Red grinned and took off his gloves and cape, throwing them onto his kitchen counter.
"Yeah, I'll settle for a Coke, thanks." Robin smiled as he removed his own boots and cape. He folded his cape and placed it on his boots.
Red jumped over the couch and landed next to Robin. "A coke, monsieur," Red handed him the can and Robin took it, planting a kiss on Red's cheek.
"Thanks," he tapped the top and popped open the tab, listening to the hissing die down. Robin took a long sip and exhaled contentedly as Red grabbed the remote off of the table and aimed it at the large television screen. The screen flickered to life and the movie instantly started to play due to Red preparing the DVD beforehand. "What movie are we watching?" Robin asked, feeling like the movie was familiar.
"Brokeback Mountain; I thought it was fitting for us." Red grinned and looked over when he felt Robin tense beside him. "Robin?" Red frowned as he noticed Robin's tight frown.
"I watched this movie with Slade, back when," Robin cut himself off and stared at his coke.
"Sorry, sorry," Red instantly flicked the television off and jumped off the couch. "Don't worry, just pretend that never happened. There are other movies. Here, we'll watch, um, oh, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. You ever see this one?"
"No," Robin shook his head and held his can of soda with both hands until Red was seated next to him again.
"Sorry," Red whispered and wrapped his arm around Robin's shoulders.
"It's okay." Robin assured as he cuddled up to Red's side. "So, what's this one about?" He asked, trying to move on.
"A gay guy that cross dresses and stuff; just watch, it's good. I mean, some of it seems like it's on an acid trip but I like it." Red assured as he grabbed the bag of popcorn and settled it into his lap. He happily munched on the fatty treat.
Robin reached for a handful of popcorn but only received a slap to his hand. "Hey," Robin frowned and narrowed his masked eyes at Red.
"No dirty gloves in the popcorn bag." Red declared. "Seriously, you're constantly wearing those gloves; I don't know where they've been."
"Fine," Robin sighed and took off his right glove, throwing it atop of his other clothes. He reached back into the bag and took a handful. Red X snorted and Robin frowned. "What?" he questioned.
"One glove on, one glove off; you're not symmetrical for once." Red pointed out and Robin rolled his eyes, although it went unnoticed since he was still wearing his mask.
"Be quiet, you're distracting me from the movie." Robin accused and settled his head on Red's shoulder as they remained quiet and watched the film.
During a rather slow part in the movie, Red started to finger Robin's glove. Robin tensed against him and moved his hand, hoping that Red would just be content with watching the movie and wouldn't question anything. Luck wasn't on his side.
"Why won't you let me remove your glove?" Red X asked with a frown on his face. Robin pursed his lips into a frown as well. He didn't have an excuse and he could tell that Red X already suspected why he wanted his glove on. Red carefully removed Robin's glove and looked at the lines across the thin wrists. Robin closed his eyes as he sighed.
When a soft kiss was delivered over his cut wrists, Robin opened his eyes again and stared at Red in confusion. "My mother used to cut herself." Red stated as he rubbed over Robin's cuts gently with his thumb. "I always thought the little 'x' designs she would make were really pretty, even though I was old enough to understand what she was doing and why.
"My dad was abusive." Red X explained quietly. "He used to come home from working in an office all day and beat my mom. She would never let him lay a hand on me because she claimed that I never did anything wrong." Red X stopped touching Robin's cuts for a moment but continued, uninterrupted. "I once told her that she never did anything wrong, after my dad had hit her and left to go to the bar, and she had started to cry. That was the only time she ever cried in front of me."
Red hummed for a moment, absentmindedly, as he continued his tale. "She was a very organized mother and she always had a schedule for when she did certain things. Every Monday she made meatloaf for dinner, every Saturday my dad never came home so I got to spend the night in her room with her, and then every Thursday she took a bath.
"I still remember how my mother would always come out from her weekly bath and complain about cutting herself with her razor." Red X smiled; his eyes sad but his smile genuine. "Those cuts were accidental. But I never understood, if she hated cutting herself with her razor, why the last thing she ever did was cut herself in the bath." Red chuckled; awkwardly and forced.
"It was a real shock for me." He continued. "I was seven and my dad had come home angry again. I went to go check on my mom after her bath had taken over two hours and that's when I found her. She was still in her clothes and the tub was filled and her blood was still draining out of her wrist; her razor sitting on the ledge of the bath.
"When my dad entered the bathroom he didn't say a word as I just stood there and stared. He went and called the police, reported it as a suicide and informed them of her habit of always hurting herself. They took her away in a black body bag and the next day my dad left, permanently, and took all the stuff while I was in school. I still haven't seen him to this very day but I know he owns some big company now." Red leaned his head against the couch and smiled. "His company was the first one I ever robbed from."
Robin stared at Red, mutely for a moment, until he wrapped his arms around Red's midsection and pressed a careful kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Why? You didn't do anything wrong." Red replied easily.
"No, I did and I shouldn't have." Robin stared at his wrist and sighed. "It was just so odd when I was doing it, almost like I wasn't even doing it to myself. Honestly, I'm not suicidal, Red; I promise you I'm not. It was just a one time thing and I won't do it again. Now that I know it upsets you so much."
"I guess this night is just filled with upsetting memories, huh?" Red X smiled sadly as he rubbed Robin's back. "Don't hurt yourself again; you've been through enough pain already." Red whispered into his hair as he kissed the top of his head.
"I won't," Robin assured him. They sat in each other's embrace for a moment until the television suddenly blared to life with loud music.
"We missed the good part!" Red exclaimed wildly and grabbed for the remote. He hurriedly rewound the movie. "Don't look; you'll ruin it for yourself." He covered Robin's eyes with one hand. Robin grinned and tried to pry the hand off his face. "No, not yet; it's not ready for you to see it yet!" Red shouted and kept his hand suctioned to Robin's face.
Robin laughed, at ease at the moment, and fought to pry Red's hand off his face. Red jumped on top of Robin and continued to block his view, even though the movie was rewound and paused. "No, no," he cried wildly and moved every which way as Robin squirmed and laughed.
It was another good night for them.
"I'm drenched!" Red X exclaimed as he removed his gloves with difficulty. He pulled off his mask and frowned. "Stupid rain ruining our date," he complained as he went to his closet and pulled out a towel. He threw a towel to Robin and the hero graciously dried off his hair.
"I have to say, that downpour was pretty unexpected. But we did get here quickly from the beach." Robin smiled as he rubbed his towel on his head.
"Yeah but we still got soaked to the bone." Red complained as he desperately pealed off his wet clothes. "I'm so glad this place has a dryer. Do you want me to dry your stuff too? You can hang with me until they're dry. It'll only take twenty minutes."
Robin frowned and shifted from one foot to the other. "Thanks for the offer but I might as well just head back to the Tower now. I mean, I'll have to go back and I'll end up getting wet again so it'd be a waste."
"Not if you just spend the night." Red suggested. "You can go back to the tower before everyone wakes up. I'm not pressuring you or anything," Red quickly exclaimed. "I'm just throwing out a suggestion. If you want to leave you can. Or you can borrow some of my clothes, snuggle on the couch with me, and drink some hot chocolate while we watch bad, late night shows before falling asleep."
Robin chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. It sounded like a nice idea and he did trust Red not to try anything. But was he really ready to spend the night with another guy, even if they didn't do anything?
Staring at Red's bare chest and his reassuring smile, Robin nodded. "I'll stay tonight."
"Awesome," Red grinned. "But next sleep over is at your house." He winked as he strolled into his room to find two sets of clothes.
It was another night out on the rooftops for Robin but he was use to such surroundings and never really minded them. Especially when he knew that the cool breeze making him shiver from his head to his toes would soon be replaced by the warm embrace of Red X.
Despite what people thought of Red X, he didn't steal every night. That would be too much work for him. Honestly, he wasn't an overachieving thief; he just took what he wanted at the time or enough to get him by for a while. Normally, he stole five or six times a month. But Robin still met with him almost six nights a week after patrol or during patrol when Red would randomly jump him from behind and start a sparring match. Actually, it was more of a dodging match since Red X didn't throw too many punches and didn't want to waste any of the Xenothium on Robin when he didn't need to.
However, Robin's plan for the night was to arrive at the spot Red X had told him to meet at during their phone conversation. (Of course Robin had given Red a communicator too; Red had begged and Robin practically gave those away anyway.)
He sat on the edge of the building, leaning back on his elbows as his legs dangled off the side. Robin looked up above him at the beautiful night sky. That was one thing Robin didn't miss about Gotham's knights; the ugly, dark sky.
Jump City's sky was more of a dark blue or purple instead of a black. The stars weren't covered by clouds and the crescent moon presented enough illumination to lead people through even the darkest alleyways.
Robin's vision of the beautiful night sky was suddenly obstructed though by Red's mask. "Hey there, good looking. What are you doing out on a night like this?" Red X asked playfully.
Robin smiled. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend."
"Are you just saying that because you don't want me to hit on you?" Red sat down next to Robin with a plop.
"I'm telling you the truth. But I'd advice you not to hit on me or else my boyfriend might beat you up." Robin smirked. "Actually, I'm stronger than him so I'd just beat you up."
"Stronger than your boyfriend, hm? Well, it sounds to me like you need to drop that skinny assed guy and get with the real champ, i.e., me." Red slipped his arm around Robin's shoulder.
"I don't need him for physical strength. Besides, he's strong enough for me to lean and depend on." Robin smiled and leaned up against Red's side, relaxing his head on Red's shoulder as his hand softly stroked up and down Robin's arm. "Plus, he really makes me happy."
Red hummed happily. "I bet he feels the same way about you." He pulled his mask up to his nose and pressed a quick kiss to Robin's head then tugged his mask back down. "But forget what I said. You two sound perfect together. You should stay with him forever."
Robin chuckled and then they both just sat for a while, enjoying the noises of the night and basking in each other's presence. "Why this spot, Red?" Robin asked after a while.
"No real reason, I just want this place to have a good memory for us." Red X moved his hand from around Robin's shoulders to ruffle through his belt. He pulled out a small silver chain with a large heart between the chains. "This is for you."
"Oh, Red," Robin smiled as he took it. He looked closer at the heart and saw that there was a red 'x' emblazed on it. "It's beautiful." Robin took off his left glove and had Red put fasten it on. The cold metal went right over his healing cuts.
"It's from the jewelry store I first robbed to get your attention." Red X smiled under his mask.
"Red," Robin frowned as he looked at the beautiful bracelet contrasting against his marred and pale skin.
"No, I actually bought it." Red X reassured, earning a smile out of Robin. "Though, I did use the cash that I got from robbing the store in the first place to purchase it. Which kind of makes the whole ordeal moot, I guess," Red X pondered.
Robin sighed but shook his head good naturedly. "Still, I'll pretend you got it legally. Thank you," Robin smiled sweetly, showing that his gratitude was sincere.
"You're welcome." Red X watched as Robin placed his glove back on over the bracelet. Only a few bumps really gave the bracelet away, otherwise it looked as if Robin wasn't wearing anything under his glove at all. Robin was glad that the bracelet hid so well; he wouldn't have to take it off now.
"Really though, why this apartment building?" Robin asked, curious still as well as a tad suspicious. "I know it's not on some sort of whim so don't try to give me that. You never do something without a real reason behind it."
Red X sighed. "Why did I have to date such a smart detective?" He chuckled though. "Well, I grew up in one of the apartments below us. I guess you can say I'm trying to live past the horror of this place from starting anew here with a positive outlook." Red explained. Robin nodded his understanding and reached for Red's hand, squeezing it reassuringly in his own.
"We're both just trying to heal and move on," he spoke absently. Red agreed and nudged Robin's head with his own. They sat with one another in silence for an hour.
It was months later when Robin found himself unable to sleep. Robin turned for the millionth time that night as he lay awake in his bed. He blinked when his hand brushed against something warm and then sat up. He sighed and poked the form in his bed. Red X turned around and yawned. "Morning already?" he asked with an innocent smile on his face.
"What are you doing in my bed?" Robin asked as he folded his arms over his chest and looked down disapprovingly at Red.
"Trying to sleep, but if you want to do something else then you know that I'm game." Red X smirked as he placed his hands under his head. Robin sighed and Red frowned as he sat up. "I came to see if it was true that you slept with your mask on. Guess it is; interesting." He tired with a grin. Robin continued to stare disapprovingly at him. Red frowned, "I just don't want to be alone tonight. So, do you mind if I spend the night? You know I won't try anything."
Robin frowned, sensing that something was wrong. "Of course I don't mind, but you really should have given me some warning that you were going to drop by."
"Sorry, but it was sort of an impulse for me to come here." Red lied back down and Robin followed suit.
"So, why don't you want to be alone tonight?" Robin asked as his detective senses told him that something was really bothering Red. He could tell by the distant look in his green eyes. "Red?" He asked, his concern showing in his voice, as he started to stroke Red's back.
Red sighed. "Tonight marks the tenth anniversary of my mother's suicide." Silence filled the room as Robin thought about what he should say. He then decided that words never worked well enough for him when he had tried to express himself before.
Sliding his arms over the white sheets, he wrapped himself around Red X and rested his head on his boyfriend's chest. Red smiled and pulled Robin closer and then down against the bed. They both closed their eyes and fell asleep in each other's arms.
"Happy Birthday!" Red X shouted as soon as Robin closed the door behind him. Robin startled and his eyes widened as he looked at Red.
"Red, you have to be careful about sneaking into my room! The Titans could have heard you or…did you get me a gift?" Robin smirked as he noticed that Red's clothes were strewn over his bed. The thief only had his mask and cape on. Also a pair of white boxers with… "What do your boxers say?"
"Rockin' Robin." Red removed his mask and smirked. "Don't you love them? I got you a matching pair as well." Red moved over to Robin's desk as Robin shook his head and contained his chuckles.
"And, for an extra treat," Red grinned and looked over his shoulder as he pressed a few buttons on Robin's laptop.
"What? You hacked onto my computer?" Robin asked as he folded his arms over his chest.
"Well, that, and I'm going to give you a little dance show especially and exclusively for you. I'll strip too if you want me to but I'd have to get dressed for so it can last longer." Red X moved the mouse and clicked on something on the screen that Robin couldn't see. Robin shook his head and grinned as the idea of Red stripping for him flashed through his head. A few seconds later a song was blasting off of Robin's laptop.
"Is that Rockin' Robin?" Robin asked, amused as Red started to shake his hips and swayed his hands over his head. Stripper music was either becoming more decent, or Red X was just crazy.
"By the one and only Bobby Day himself," Red grinned and continued to shake his body to the rhythm of the music. Robin couldn't hold it back anymore and he started to laugh. Red X twirled around in his boxers and cape and Robin leaned against the wall as he burst open with his laughter.
When the song finally finished, Red X strode over to Robin and kneeled next to him, since Robin had fallen to the floor with laughter. "So, what did you think of your gift?" Red asked. "That's not all of it, mind you, but I thought that was the best part."
"That," Robin panted as he sat up and wrapped his arms around Red's neck. "Was the best gift I have ever received." He brought Red down to his level and pressed his lips lightly to the thief's, to show him his appreciation. "And you didn't even have to steal anything." Robin added as he broke the kiss.
A.N. END OF SHAMELESS FLUFF! I hope you enjoyed it!~