Authors Note: Short chapter. Read AN at the end.
Plane
I sat there helplessly crying. I don't even know why I couldn't get a grip on myself. It's not like I had a reason to be crying. I just was. I was glad this airplane was half empty. Less witnesses to see a 17 year old girl cry her broken little heart out. The airplane helper rushed over to me. Damn. Now I wished I was on a huge plane, with nobody noticing me crying.
This wasn't unusual. I always seemed to start crying. It could even come when I was the happiest I had ever been. Or when I was just my normal depressed self. Like now. But when I cried it felt so great. It feels like everything that was depressing me in my life just leaves with the tears that escape my eyes.
I couldn't believe it always came down to this. Was crying really the way to solve all my problems? I knew that answer without even having to think twice about it. The answer was no. But, if it made me feel better now, who cared how badly it messed me up in the long run? My life was never stable, always changing this way or that. So right now crying seemed to be the answer.
It was just like my own little problem-free heaven right smack in the middle of hell. Great.
I decided that music might help calm me, so I reached over to grab my iPod from my carry on bag when I realized that the flight attendant was still hovering over me, waiting to comfort me.
"Oh, no, don't worry. I'm perfectly fine, really," I promised her, before she could say anything. She just nodded and went to another person, about 5 chairs up from me.
I was still thinking about my iPod so I reached over and grabbed it. When I turned it on and stuck the headphones in my ear I decided to listen to the first song that came on shuffle.
Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Notice the sarcasm? Over You by Chris Daughtry. I have never thought this before, but that song could really relate to my life.
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
I guess I found a new, amazing love for this depressing song.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
W.
O.
W.
It was true. I should have never loved those families so much that when I left, I couldn't handle it, and I would break down and cry. The tears slowly started to flow effortlessly out of my eyes, but this time it wasn't traumatizing. It was comforting. Like I really had connected to the real world, someway, somehow.
And I really is over.
But now was a new beginning. I should be thinking positive. I switched to a new, happier song. Love Today, by Mika. This was perfect. Just what I needed. A carefree song. I leaned back my chair and feel asleep easily, listening to my iPod.
Knifes were stabbing through my heart.
All my past families were crowding around me, trying to comfort me and hug me and tell me how much they loved me.
I couldn't let them love me. Not even for a minute. It would just hurt that much more when they left me again. Which they would. They all do.
So I pushed them away. It was all I could do. Once I started pushing they slowly started to disappear, one by one. Than I was all alone again. In a cold, dark room.
When I woke up my limbs felt so stiff. That was another repeat of the usual nightmares I had.
It felt like I was glued to the uncomfortable chair. Why was I sleeping? Oh yeah. I was flying to Forks. To live with my new 'family'. If I could even call them that. Optimistic. Right. That was what I was planing on being.
I'm soooo excited! Hopefully they keep me! But I already know that they're going to love me! Of coarse they will!
Wow. Optimistic. Not exactly right for me. Especially considering my circumstances.
"Excuse me, miss, the plane has landed," the flight attendant told me. Oh. I looked around. Everybody was off the plane. I was really in Forks now. Well, here I go.
I nodded at her, grabbed my carry-on bag, and went to leave the plane.
Apparently I was supposed to take a taxi to the new families house. 321 Knoff Place. Located right smack in the middle of Forks, or so I was told. That wasn't surprising. When I had goggled the town, I discovered it was practically nothing. Only about 3,500 people. Not exactly my type of 'home', but whatever. Not exactly like this was going to be 'home' for long...
I headed to the luggage drop off to get my 4 suitcases. Of coarse they were the last ones there. I hated having to bring my stuff everywhere. I couldn't even just leave it at my house, because my home was always switching. Because of that, I had never really liked to get attached to items. I couldn't take very much stuff besides the stuff I needed.
I put my suitcases on a trolley and wheeled it outside so I could flag down a taxi. As I was waiting two taxis just drove past. Nice. The third taxi stopped. Good. At least somebody cares.
A short, older man stepped out and grabbed my luggage to put in the trunk. I nodded at him and hopped into the back of the taxi.
That was my thing. Nodding. Most of the time my voice wouldn't even be strong enough to say the words, not that I wanted to anyways. It was better off for all of us if I just nodded. But, I would have to speak when he returned so I could tell him the address. Damn.
As he sat back in and turned to face me, I quickly rushed out the words. " 321 Knoff Place please." Apparently he had heard me, because he nodded and started to drive towards the east. I looked up and was stunned.
The sunset was breathtakingly beautiful. Simply amazing. I didn't think anything could compare to it. No thousand words could describe the wonderful feeling I felt when I saw this monument from the heavens. Maybe there was a plus side to Forks...
Authors Note: So, do you guys want me to do lots of short chapters (about 1 every 2 days) or medium chapters (about 1 every 4 days). Let me know please
-Emma
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