Authors Note: Wow! You guys made me feel so warm inside! Right after I posted my chapter I went off the computer. When I came back, 1 ½ hours later, I had 5 favorite story/story alerts! I was so happy! Please keep reading! And also, REVIEW THIS TIME!

Perfect

Here I was. In front of my new home. Was I prepared? No. But a better question was Would I ever be prepared? Probably never. It was always hard to face a new family. No matter how many times it happened.

It wasn't like just meeting new people. These people were your new family. So you wanted them to like you. And it was also SO intimidating. They always tried to be extra friendly so you would feel comfortable, but that always gave the opposite effect and made you feel a tad bit uncomfortable.

Positive. At least they tried to make you feel comfortable.

I paid the taxi driver and stepped out of the taxi. He had already unloaded my luggage. As soon as he backed the yellow taxi out of the driveway and headed pack to what looked to be this 'town', I took a deep breath.

Was I seriously nervous? Get a grip Bella! It's not like your going to face a hungry pack of wolves. Hopefully not. It's just a family who is prepared to love you. And who will probably realize in a few weeks that they are not prepared enough to love you. Or find one tiny little flaw in you. And that tiny flaw could equal you going back to the foster home, with a broken heart.

I slowly and steadily walked up the porch and stopped in front of the white door. It seemed to fit their blue house very well. Their house looked older, but still wonderfully perfect. Deep breath. Think positive. Be yourself.

I knocked lightly on the front door. Now was the worst part. Their first sight of me.

I wasn't exactly what you would call pretty. Or ugly, for that matter. I was about normal. Nothing really special about my looks, but nothing bad either.

The door slowly opened. I almost gasped out loud.

The woman who answered the door was absolutely beautiful. Her brown hair flowed effortlessly down her face, framing her heart shaped head. She looked incredibly young, but I could still tell she was about 30. Her voice was just as surprising.

"Hello. You must be Bella. I'm Esme Cullen. Welcome to our humble abode. Would you like me to take one of your bags?" Wow. She was my new 'mother'? Sure, I could be happy because she already seemed flawless. But there was always a downside to that. If she was flawless it would be harder for me to even seem normal, let alone fit into this family.

"Yes," I mumbled, unintelligibly. Could she even hear me? Wow. I must have sounded drunk! Noooo! Esme Cullen would think that an alcoholic was going to be living in her house! As if the standards weren't high enough already...

Esme either didn't notice the off-ness of my voice or was a phenomenal actress. I was guessing the second one. Only a retard wouldn't notice how dry my voice sounded.

"Okay, right up here," she said while she held the door open for me. Maybe she hadn't heard my tone of voice...

I walked right into the shockingly beautiful living room. It was completely black and white. Even though none of the pieces of furniture seemed to go with each other, they looked perfect together, like corresponding pieces to an amazing puzzle. After them moment of being blinded from this beautiful room, I felt even more of an intruder than before. Everything here seemed so..... perfect. That was the only way to describe it.

I really had to tell Esme this. "This room is absolutely beautiful, Esme." Just like everything else in this house. Except me. I was so out of place.

"Oh, thank you Bella. I design houses for a living, so I guess it must have rubbed off on our house," she said calmly. She still seemed so calm and collected, like she had nothing to worry about.

That made me extremely jealous. How could she be so happy, when I had to live this painful, depressing, idiotic life? Why hadn't my mom known not to have kids if she couldn't take care of them without beating them half to death?

I didn't even want to start thinking about that again. It always left my broken heart in crushed pieces, making me decline any mood that could help me out of this deep, dark, lonely, life. I didn't need that right now. Or ever, for that matter.

When I was out of my deep thoughts, I saw that Esme was waiting for me. Not like how somebody would usually wait for you though. She made it look very polite. How she looked around the room... If anybody else did that it would look like they were trying to find something to do while they waited for somebody else. But how she did it, it made it look like she was appreciating every little detail in here. Like she had found everything she had ever wanted, and now she was just enjoying the presence of it. How somebody could do that, and make it look so natural, I had no clue.

When she noticed I was starring at her, she smiled. "Okay Bella, would you like to go see your room," she asked me in a soft, but clear voice. I nodded. We picked up my bags and started walking up the beautiful staircase. At the top of the stairs there was a long hallway, with white carpet and royal blue walls. There were three rooms on either side of the hallway, and one at the very end of it. All the doors were a very pale blue. This was absolutely magnificent.

"Your room is the one at the very end," Esme said as we walked towards the end of the hallway. When we arrived she opened the door. Wow.

The room was shockingly beautiful. It was all black and white, just like the living room downstairs. I couldn't believe how beautiful, but simple this room was. It was exactly my type of room. Simple. But beautiful. Simply beautiful. (Authors Note: Picture on profile of room.)

"Sorry if you don't like the black and white. We could change that if you like. Maybe some bright colours would be better?" Esme questioned. I felt the shock on my face turn to horror. I didn't want her to change this paradise!

"No, Esme, I absolutely love it! Don't change a thing! This is completely my type of room! It is so beautiful, by the way. I can't believe how talented you are." She smiled while I praised her lovely work. I would NEVER let her change this room, not even one bit. It was absolutely perfect.

I froze when I realized what word I kept repeating in my head. One I had promised to never think. Perfect. I couldn't keep thinking like that. Not that word. I knew nothing would ever be perfect for me. Even if it was, it wouldn't last. And it never was. If something was perfect, I wouldn't even be here right now. Because my mom wouldn't have had me.

"Well, I will let you get set up Bella. We aren't going to be having supper for about two hours, so make yourself feel at home. I will introduce you to the rest of my family at supper, when they get home. If you would like to do anything, feel free to come and tell me." Esme said. She closed the door silently behind her.

One of the great things about Esme: she didn't hover.

I flopped down onto the beautiful bed and started to cry. How could I do this? Put myself through another chance to be broken to pieces? I couldn't. And I really shouldn't. It was just going to hurt me more... But how could I ever live life without going through all this madness? I know most other people don't go through all this, but I wasn't most other people. I was Isabella Swan. And Isabella Swan had no life. She just went from family to family, getting scars on her heart that would never go away...

A thought crept into my head. It was always the same thought. Just one word. Suicide. That one word could be broken down and described in a thousand different ways. Death. Killing myself. Leaving the world I knew. And there were so many ways I could get to it. Stab myself with a knife. Jump off a bridge. Run away in the winter and freeze to death. Go drown myself.

Even though I knew so many ways I could commit suicide, I never did. I had, though been so close to most of them. Even tried some. Like I had run away, once when I was living with a family in Alaska. And I had been so close to jumping off of a bridge in a small town in Mexico. I had always been so close to most of them, but never done them. A smooth, caring voice always came into all my head. It would tell me not to jump. Or to take a breath. I would often than realize that this would hurt everybody else so much if I did. Not that they cared, but they would think they were doing a bad job. And as much as I knew that nobody really and truly loved me, I knew they didn't deserve to have to deal with me found dead while I was under their control.

Well, I guess life for me would never be truly perfect.

Authors Note: Review please! I think that if everybody reviews, I will be able to get another chapter out tonight, or in the next few days. But review please!

-Emma :)