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Different

Dinner was interesting. We has mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, and peas. Even though I absolutely hated all food, I pretended that I loved it. It was actually way better than the usual food I had.

I hated food for the stupidest reason. It kept me alive. Keeping me on this earth one day longer than I ever wanted to. But I knew I had to eat. For the sanity of others. How would Esme feel if I stopped eating when I arrived here? Probably not very well. She would think it had something to do with her food, no matter how many times I tried to convince her it wasn't true.

The Cullens tried to make everything easier for me, including the dinner conversations. Even though I knew they were just dying to ask me about my past of being a foster child, they kept the conversation light, and asked me questions about school and subjects in school, and stuff like that. The weird thing was the whole time Emmett looked very sympathetically at me, even though I hadn't told any of them about my past yet. Like he already knew how I was feeling. The thought made me laugh. He had no possible way of knowing what I was feeling. It wasn't like he had been put through everything I was going through.

It wasn't only the Cullens who tried to make everything easy for me. It was everybody. My teachers always gave me A's or B's even if I was failing. The lunch lady at schools would always give me a free piece of pie. No 'parents' would ever ground me.

Even though they were all doing me a favor, I didn't like it. Actually, that was an underestimation. I absolutely loathed it. They thought they should give me special care just because I was different? If I had just settled down with one family instead of traveling to 20 different families, I probably would have been just like them. But no, nobody could accept me.

How much I envied Jessica right now. Jessica had been my only friend at my previous school, in which I stayed for 3 months. She was an only child, and her parents loved her deeply. She wasn't a foster child like me. Her real parents, the parents she was living with, was also her biological parents.

Me, not a chance. I had lived with my real mom for 3 years. And my father, well he was gone right after my mom told him she was pregnant. Yeah, knowing that made me feel so loved. Notice the sarcasm.

Sarcasm. My best friend. As crazy as it sounded, it truly was my best friend. Sarcasm was always there for me, I could use it if I wanted but I didn't have to, and somehow it always brightened my day. When I was mad I used it even more. Just like a friend. If you were mad at them, you used them.

Or, at least that was how it was in my life. But nobody's life was like mine. Sure, some were close. But none were exactly the same. And I wasn't glad about that. If only somebody could connect to me, know how I felt. What I would give for that.. Anything. I would even give my life if I could just know that somebody felt the feelings I did. But my life wasn't exactly a good threat for me to use to myself. I didn't even like my life, so I would give it up for almost anything. Almost to willingly. But I had my reasons. And that was enough of a reason.

As I finished my dinner, I volunteered to was the dishes.

"Oh no, dear. Your our guest, so you shouldn't need to do the dishes." Esme tried to tell me, but I wasn't even close to convinced. If I was going to be living here, I was going to help them.

"Esme, I really need to. If I'm going to be living here, I'm going to help. I can't let you do everything for me." Hopefully that would convince her. But even if it didn't, I wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Yeah, listen to her. If she really wants to wash dishes, than let her." Emmett replied. Sure, he would probably find any way out of washing dishes that he could.

"No Emmett, you still need to wash dishes. Bella if you really do want to help, I guess you can. But don't do the whole thing for Emmett. He needs to do it too." It seemed as if Esme had cringed when she mentioned me helping Emmett.

"Okay. Thank you Esme," I said. I had already known that I would end up helping with the dishes.

"No, thank you dear." Esme said before she headed off to the living room to watch the news. Carlisle was up in his study, which was the first door on the left hand side after you went up the stairs.

I had also learned that Carlisle and Esme's room was right across from Carlisle's study. And beside them, there was a bathroom. The bathroom was connected to Carlisle and Esme's room from the inside. The last room on the right hand side included some couches, a TV and some game systems. They called this room the 'den'. It was almost like the living room downstairs, apparently, but more for Emmett and his friends. Emmett's room and a bathroom were the last two rooms on the left. The bathroom was not connected to Emmett's room, but it was considered his, because everybody else had their own bathroom.

I followed Emmett into the kitchen. "Wash or dry?" he asked me, holding up a dish towel and a bottle of soap.

"Dry," I said while I reached for the dish towel. But, I couldn't quite grab it. Right when I reached up for it, Emmett lifted it higher. I than realized how tall he was. "Emmet, you're really tall," I said.

"Yeah, and you're really small Bella," Emmett said as he passed the dish towel to me. He ran some water into the sink and added dish soap. "So, Bella, are you ready for school tomorrow?" Emmett asked.

"Um... Yes. What day is it today?" I had never kept track of the days. I always tried to live in the present. I didn't want to think of where I could or would be in a week, or even a few days.

Emmett let out a bellowing laugh. "It's Sunday, February 22th, today Bella. And that's in 2009, by the way." Emmett said in a joking tone.

His voice suddenly got more serious. "You don't keep track of the days, do you?" He asked me. It seemed like he really knew what was happening. What was going on in my life. Like he was inside my brain and had seen everything I had seen, had felt everything I had felt. It really touched me, because it was coming from big, strong, Emmett.

"Not exactly. I try to live in the present, and just forget about the future. I never really know where I can be in a week, so I try not to think of it. It just scares me, thinking of going through another family again, leaving me brokenhearted." I had no clue why I was telling Emmett this. I had never told anybody else. And I had only know Emmett for less than an hour. But when I looked up to see Emmett's reaction, he looked sympathetic. Again. Like he could relate to me. But he couldn't. I already knew that.

"So... tomorrow morning you aren't going to have to go to the office. I got your schedule and stuff already. Over there on the counter." Emmett said, trying to change the subject. He tilted his head over to the counter. I looked over there to see a stack of papers while I absentmindedly dried the dishes and put them in the rack on the counter.

"Oh. Okay, thanks." That was weird. This was the first school I had ever been going to that I didn't have to go get my own papers from the office. Was this some kind of joke Emmett was trying to play? Or did he already know that my least favorite part of my first day was picking up the papers? But I hadn't told anybody.....

While we continued to wash the dishes Emmett described his friends to me.

Rosalie, his girlfriend, was blond and absolutely drop dead gorgeous. I thought he was probably exaggerating about her looks because he probably loved her to death. Alice was short and pixie like. She had short, black hair and hazel eyes. Edward was tall, and almost had as much muscles as Emmet, with bronze hair and green eyes.

"So, are Alice and Edward together?" I asked Emmett while I continued to dry dishes.

Emmett's bellowing laughter filled the kitchen. "No Bella, Edward and Alice are brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend. But, I could defiantly picture Edward doing something like that, dating his own sister," Emmet laughed at his own words. "But Alice would never do anything like that. Anyways, she has a boyfriend. Just met him two weeks ago. I haven't actually met him myself, but I hear good stuff about him. Alice is just crazy for him too. That must count for something."

"Well, I don't exactly know Alice yet, but I'm sure it does. Wouldn't it for everybody?" I asked.

"Well, you do have a very good point Bella. For most people I guess it would." Emmett replied as he handed me the last fork that needed to be washed. He pulled the plug from the sink and let the water drain out.

"Well, the dishes are done. Thanks for the help Bella." Emmett said as we walked into the living room.

"Yeah, no problem." I replied. I realized how much of a somnolent state I was in. Was I really lacking sleep? Well, I had been having lots of nightmares lately. So maybe I wasn't in a deep enough sleep. And it always made me tired when I moved to a new family.

"Would you like to watch the news with us, Bella?" Esme asked me. I realized that Emmett had gone and sat in an armchair near the television. Esme was curled up on half the couch, with a cup of hot tea in her right hand.

"Thanks, but I think I will be going to bed soon. I'm pretty tired, I want to take a shower, and I was planning on e-mailing my friend." Yes. One friend. I had met her two years ago. She was the only friend I had kept in touch with for longer than a month after I had left.

"Okay, have a good night dear. See you in the morning." Esme said.

"Going to bed at 7 o'clock? Wow. Some people must be crazy. I'll drive you to school in the morning Bella. We're going to leave at about 8 o'clock. Be ready." Emmett said jokingly.

"Okay, thanks. Good night." I said as I drowsily walked up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I decided to first take a shower, even though I had just taken one before dinner. I always took a warm shower before I went to bed. I found it made me tired.

Sure, I already was tired enough. But I loved to feel the warm heat wrapping around me, like my own protective blanket. Call me crazy, but it made me feel special. Like it loved me.

The shower felt so nice. After I got out of the shower I decided to just let my hair dry itself out. I wrapped a towel around my head to collect the water that was absorbed into my hair. While I was searching for a ponytail to put my hair in after I took the towel off, something happened.

The voice came. The voice that cared for me. When it came it didn't scare me at all. I was so used to me, and if anybody was even close to loving me, it was this voice. The one voice that was only ever in my head, never coming from somebody's mouth.

"They love you. Don't do anything to hurt yourself. It would only hurt them. They already see the good in you." I flinched when I heard the word love. One of the words I didn't like. But, I always obeyed the voice. One of the only things I did obey because I wanted to, believe it or not.

As I curled up on my bed and started to read my e-mails I figured out it really was true. My thoughts weren't lying to me.

I was different.

Authors Note: First, I would like to thank chels926 for letting me use one of her ideas in this chapter. Check out her new and awesome story, Caché, and her other story, A Semester in the Smoke. You can find her in my favorite authors section on my profile.

Also, not many people have told me if you want medium or short chapters. I decided to do short chapters, and I will try to do one a day put will probably only be able to do one every two days. Except on weekends. I can do two a day on weekends, or at least one. :)

YOU BETTER REVIEW!!!!! PLEASE!!!

-Emma :)