Before this goes any further, I'd just like to say (this is mostly for QuixoticKid, because I was sceptical about it too) that yeah, I know, the premise is less than original/more than a little iffy, but that was the point - I wanted to see if I could make it work. Though, truthfully, if EC's got his characters shooting lightening from their fingertips and randomly synthesizing brain fluids, I would not be surprised if they suddenly started switching species as well.

Continuing thank yous! to ilex-ferox.

Chapter Two: Shot Through the Heart

Butler checks his watch. It's been forty-five minutes. Things should be settled by now. He presses an ear to the door. Silence. Either they're asleep or they've killed each other. Balancing the tea tray on one massive palm, he opens the door, entering the darkened bedroom with some trepidation. In the dim light he can make out two shapes lying horizontally across the bed. He rolls his eyes and sets the tray down. Both curled into balls, they are nestled back to back, unconsciously seeking each other's warmth in the cool night air. Butler is reminded of a pair of kittens. Gently, he pulls the duvet free and tucks it around them. Let them sleep.

He returns to the teapot and pours himself a cup, drinking slowly. He stares out of the window but doesn't see the dark sky and muddy lights. Instead, he sees a gun pressing into pale flesh. The ghostly image of a moment passed. A moment in which his whole field of vision had narrowed to a few centimetres where glimmering metal touched soft white, or perhaps in which those few centimetres had expanded until there was nothing else; he isn't sure which. A moment in which all sensation had fallen from him; like a tide, the world had simply washed away, leaving him scorched and alone on a burning sandbar. He was too old, too slow, what could he do?

Then he had looked up. His eyes had met hers and he'd seen that he was not the only one on that particular sandbar. And he had known it would be alright. She would protect their boy now.

Butler takes a sip of tea. It hurts to know you are redundant. But, at least, he has the consolation of knowing that Artemis will still be protected. And, when it comes down to it, this is all Butler really needs.

What will I do? Holly keeps her eyes shut and her breathing slow and regular as Butler tucks them in. What under the earth – what on earth- can I possibly do? I can't live as one of them. As a human. I can't. They're too awful.

Artemis and Butler aren't that bad. They're two of your closest friends.

Artemis and Butler are two very special cases. In more ways than one. And I'm not just talking about the humans themselves here. What about the cars, the factories, the pollution, the child labour, the diseases, even worse: the drugs. The unhappiness. The violence. The hamburgers for Frond's sake.

Maybe you could make it better.

Oh yeah, make centuries of societal screw ups and international relations, pettier than two boys in a sandbox, just go away? Just hop over to visit my friendly local branches of TB and infant mortality and say: oh, hey there, would you guys mind closing up shop? Yes, that's a brilliant plan, just d'Arvitting brilliant. Like I haven't got enough on my plate simply dealing with the fact that I'm now a different species, unemployed and homeless. Oh Frond, what if I never get to go back to the Haven? I belong with my people. With the People. And my magic and my wings. Holly chokes on a sob. I'll never fly again.

But you'll live under the sky for the rest of your life.

It isn't worth it.

Are you sure? It's beautiful here. You're strong, you'll learn to live with it.

I don't want to be strong. I'm sick of being strong. I'm too scared to be strong.

Which is ironic when, if I recall correctly, someone recently offered to, and I quote, 'take care of you'? Why don't you let him? You want to.

Absolutely not. This Artemis we're talking about. He's 15. He's a liar and thief.

Exactly: a useful guy to have around.

He would also lie to me, steal from me. Again.

We've been over this lying thing. It was for Angeline. You, yourself, said you might have done the same.

He made me believe I killed people!


He was a worried teenage boy who saw a chance to save his mother.

Stop making excuses for him. Why are you defending him, anyway? You're me. This whole thing is ridiculous.

I'm your better half, obviously. Look girl, you say you're tired, you've got too much on your plate. Why not let someone else worry about the petty things? Besides, he wouldn't even be worrying. After all, he's definitely got the money.

No.

What's so wrong with letting someone else take care of you?

No. I said it before; my pride is all I have left. I will not lose it too.

There's nothing shameful in being loved.

We're not talking about love.

.... right.

Holly curls herself up tighter, feeling the ridges of his spine lock into hers like the gears of some strange, delicate clock. The steady beat of his heart counts out the seconds, the minutes, the hours of her new life.

Artemis keeps his breathing calm as Butler covers them up, and contemplates the backs of his eyelids.

He had been hoping for tranquility, for blessed darkness. Instead his eyelids have betrayed him, becoming projector screens. Noise and light bloom across them, garish and blinding.

'Stop where you are, Holly.'

Artemis can still feel the gun pressing against his throat, can still feel Butler's eyes drilling into the back of his head thinking: Artemis... I told you to stay in the car. Artemis, why don't you ever listen? Artemis, how the hell am I going to get you out of this one?

Holly froze. 'Opal... ok. Ok. Look, I've stopped, I'm not going anywhere,' she raised her hands, palms empty.

Trouble and his retrieval squad continued to close in around them.

'I want all of you to stop.' Opal made the gun click ominously.

Artemis took several calming breaths. Butler was here, Holly was here. He was in no danger. Oh Frond, I am going to die, he thought. No. Out of the question. I am Artemis Fowl the Second. This is not the first time we have fought Opal. I didn't die before, and I won't die now.

'Trouble, cut it out!' Holly's voice was a little wild. 'Stop!'

Trouble raised his visor. Artemis couldn't see his face but he could see Holly's become desperate. The squad members muttered, inching forward.

'I said stop!' Holly nearly screamed, her eyes wide. They stopped.

'Atta girl,' Opal giggled. 'You're just so terribly easy to play with, Holly. Honestly, it's nearly boring.'

'Go d'Arvit yourself, Opal.'

'Is that anyway to talk to an unstable pixie holding a gun to your little boy's neck?' Opal nodded towards Artemis. 'Really now, Holly,' she smiled a nasty little smile with her rosebud mouth. In that instant Artemis was sure he had never hated anyone the way he hated Opal Koboi.

Holly edged forward, palms still raised. 'Sure. Fine. Whatever you want. Just put the gun down, ok?'

'And just how close do you think I'm going to let you get before I shoot him?' Opal asked, her voice light, casual. A 'would you like sugar with your tea?' voice.

Artemis tried to be patient, to wait for a distraction. But the gun was digging into his flesh and he was having trouble concentrating.

Holly stopped, only a few feet away. Opal smiled again. 'Oh no, come closer. I want him to be able to see your eyes.'

'What?' Holly frowned, coming closer nonetheless.

Oh no, thought Artemis. 'Holly, don't! Get back, it's a-'

The gun went off. Never meant for him at all, it pierced Holly through the heart.

Artemis was sure the whole world shuddered then. The ground bucked, throwing him forward, sending his stomach slamming into his spine. The sense of déjà vu was strong, it reeked of gas and formaldehyde, stinging his skin, making him taste bile.

'Holly!' He didn't recognise his own voice over Trouble's shouting and Opal's hysterical giggling. It was a terrible voice, high and raw, sharp like rusted metal. 'Holly!'

He found himself on his knees beside her, Butler somehow there with him. The giant man fumbled for a pulse on her tiny throat. Everything seemed to be wet and Artemis tasted salt on his lips. However- 'Butler, there's no blood. There's no wound.' He swiped at the liquid on his face. Tears. Only tears.

'There won't be,' Opal cackled, straining against the cuffs Lieutenant Coil had slapped on her. 'Don't get so worked up, Mud Boy, she isn't dead. It's something worse. And it's all your fault!' she finished gleefully.

'What on earth are you talking about?' Trouble asked, warm eyes furious.

Opal looked up at him coquettishly through her eyelashes. 'I'm talking about humanity. Hers, to be precise.'

'Hu-' Trouble gaped. Everyone froze. It would nearly be funny, thought Artemis, if it wasn't so horrifying.

'That's not possible,' Trouble spoke into a vacuum of silence.

'When have possibilities ever stopped me?' Opal smirked as she was hauled away. 'Take good care of her now, Mud Boy. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.'

In the wake of her laughter, Artemis looked down at Holly, at her chest barely rising. Her face was peaceful, utterly unaware. She would hate it. More than anything. Artemis had to admit Opal had chosen her revenge well. This was the worst she could ever have done.

He tried to ignore the very small part of him that was smirking in triumph.

Holly wakes up the next morning wondering why her limbs are so sore. She uncurls herself from the ball she's slept in and discovers it's because she is freezing. Artemis has stolen all the duvet. 'Once a thief, always a thief,' she mutters to herself. And then the thought: Wait, why am I in bed with Artemis?

Blinking owlishly at her unfamiliar surroundings, she watches sunlight filter through the window. And everything comes back to her.

Oh yes. Human.

Holly digs her fingers into her hair and makes a wordless noise of grief.

When she calms down enough to look up again, the morning light is seeping across the floor, warming her skin as she rocks to and fro. It smoothes her hair and strokes her arms until she can no longer ignore it. Holly goes to the window, putting her fingers to the cool glass.

The world outside is all delicate greens and blues and violets. She can see the dew still glittering on the grass. Everything looks as though it is made of coloured glass. She wants, more than anything, to feel pain, anger, something extreme and passionate, but all she feels is tranquility. She forgets about her longer limbs, her transfigured DNA, her fear, and just lets herself drift, peaceful as the dust motes hanging illuminated in the shafts of light.

'It's very pretty, isn't it?' Artemis has crept up on her again. She puts a hand to her shuddering heart.

'Don't do that,' she chides.

'Sorry,' he shrugs.

'Right,' she rolls her eyes. 'But yes... it is beautiful.'

He nods, but doesn't bother wasting any more words on what they can appreciate better in silence. That is something about him that, Holly has to admit, she has always liked. Even in the middle of a crisis, he can and will appreciate beauty. Even though she would also be the first to say that there is a time and a place for aesthetic appreciation, and that Artemis doesn't always realise when and where that is. But at least he appreciates it.

'Would it be so bad,' Artemis continues after a while, 'to live here?'

Holly sighs, leaning her forehead on the window pane. She had known this was coming. She wouldn't be surprised to find out that Artemis had arranged for this to be a particularly pretty morning beforehand.

'Artemis... here isn't the problem, it's me that needs sorting out. I need space. My own space.'

'We've got plenty of space. You could have a whole wing.'

'That's not what I meant.'

'I know,' he sighs.

'Why are you pushing this so hard, anyway? Since when do you want me around so badly? It's very forward of you.'

Artemis looks at her, silent. Holly thinks of their landing on Hybras, when he had called to her; when he had eaten up the sight of her as though it was a tangible thing, manna to keep him alive. Artemis thinks of Hyrbas as well, only later; when she was lying still on the ground, eyes wide and staring and empty.

'I thought you were dead. Again.' His voice quivers and he frowns. Holly remembers, always a shock, just how young he truly is.

She feels the need to apologise but doesn't know how or why. Instead she snorts, trying to brush off the intimacy of the moment, trying to get back to their usual banter, to where she is comfortable. 'It'd take more than some psycho pixie with a fancy pedicure to kill me. Honestly Artemis, have a little faith.'

The boy smirks and graciously allows her to change the subject. He knows he wants her to stay. He knows she should stay. He knows he never wants to let her out his sight again. And he knows that there is absolutely no way he can tell her that.

'You're awake,' Butler arrives in the doorway, carrying a breakfast tray. 'I didn't expect you to be up so early. I'll go get more breakfast.'

'Don't bother, I need to speak to Mother, I'll get my own,' Artemis makes a vain attempt to straighten his hair, 'I also need to change.' He frowns then, looking over at Holly. 'You'll need clothes. Perhaps we can go into town after breakfast. Mother will enjoy that.'

'Artemis,' Holly crosses her arms over her chest, 'this falls into the same category as living here. I don't need charity, I-'

'You're wearing one of my mother's old nightgowns. You'll have to stay here at least a few weeks before everything is sorted out. You cannot spend them in my mother's nightgown, for numerous reasons. Not the least of which is my father will probably recognise it and wonder.'

Holly purses her lips.

'It's like you said,' Artemis puts a hand on the doorframe and speaks to the hallway, 'the money was made because of you. You should at least get to enjoy some of it.' He walks out before she can reply.

Butler offers Holly a piece of toast. 'I see things have really improved between you two.'

Holly takes the toast and flops down next to him on the sofa. She leans her head against his arm. 'Butler, what the d'Arvit am I going to do?'

'Well,' Butler butters another piece of toast, 'you're going to get a job and a library card and a gym pass. You're going to buy a nice flat somewhere and grow ferns on your balcony. You're going to live. You're going to be happy.'

'How can you know that?'

'Because you are a happy person, one who will always make the best of what she has. And because Artemis will commit murder to make sure you've got everything you could possibly want. Let's face it, when the two of you join forces, there is very little in the universe that can stand against you.'

'He wants me to live here.'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'You know why.' Butler downs half his toast with one bite. 'He's terrified you'll up and leave him one of these days, either by dying or by simply losing interest. And then what will become of him?'

'He can't do that to me. Keep me locked up. I'm not a pet. Besides, after what he did... he can't expect me to just... to just... He lied to me!'

Butler munches his toast placidly. 'True. He also kidnapped you, but you don't seem quite so fussed about that one.'

'He was different then.'

'He's different now.'

'Well, I forgave him, didn't I? Just that, is more than he deserved.'

'Oh yes, definitely. You've always given him more than he deserves.'

'I have to draw the line somewhere.'

'Do you?'

'Yes.' Holly stares down at her untouched toast, 'I need to protect myself. I need to be whole. With Artemis it's too easy for me to get sucked in and become... we just... we get mashed together, until I can't tell what's what or who's who. For heaven's sake, we've started switching body parts! I can't... I can't give that much of myself. That's too much.'

'Sometimes we don't always get a choice about how much we give. We just wake up one morning and discover what we thought we had safely under lock and key has up and vanished. Though, the upside to that is usually we get something equally valuable in return.'

'Usually.'

'In this case, definitely. I'd say it's already sitting on your doorstep begging to be let in.'

'He'll use me. He'll lie to me.'

'Probably. That's the way he is.'

'I can't.'

'Like I said,' Butler finishes his toast, dusting his fingers, 'we don't always get a choice.'

Holly can feel her chin tremble and quickly bites into her toast to hide it.

Butler sighs. He puts an arm around the tiny woman. 'I know it seems meaningless now, but it is going to be alright. Trust me.'

Holly chuckles weakly, 'Better you than your employer.'

Butler smiles. 'I'll get the paper, shall I? You can start in on the property section.'

'Fantastic.'

'Mother, I have something to tell you.' Artemis sits on edge of his mother's bed, watching her apply mascara.

'Yes, darling?'

'We have a guest,' he fidgets with his cuffs. 'Holly. There was some trouble. We went after Opal, the, ah, pixie who -'

'I know who Opal is, Arty.' Angeline smiles at him from her mirror. 'Is Holly alright?'

'Oh, yes. Well, yes and no. She's,' he fingers his collar, 'human.'

His mother puts the mascara brush down. 'Pardon me?'

'Opal shot her with a, well, it's rather complicated to explain. But the end result is a total... mm... re-expression of Holly's DNA. We share the same genome, you'll be interested to know, so it's not entirely impossible -'

'But she will be cut off from her people! Exiled from her home! Oh the poor girl. How can she possibly be alright? You've told her she is welcome here for as long as she wants, haven't you? I'll have Martha make up a room in the family wing. The poor girl,' she repeats.

'She doesn't want to stay here.' Artemis can't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Angeline raises an eyebrow at his tone. 'Oh?'

'Doesn't want to be a 'leech'. Needs to have her own space.'

'Needs to be in control of something, at least,' Angeline nods. 'Well, that's understandable.'

'It is?'

'Tut, Arty, think. She's a strong woman. She's just had everything taken from her, she feels helpless and useless and frightened. In order to feel worthwhile again, she needs to take charge of something. She needs to prove to herself and the world that she is still capable. Get her confidence back.'

'Oh.' Artemis pulls at the crease in his trouser leg. 'I still fail to see why she can't simply take charge of one of our gardens, or something.'

'Give her time to come to terms with things, darling. Eventually, she may very well wish to live here.'

There is something in his mother's voice that makes Artemis' eyes narrow in suspicion. But she just smiles serenely and begins to brush her hair.

'The real question is: what will we tell your father?'

'Alright, say 'aw',' Butler taps Holly's lips with the tongue depressor.

She rolls her eyes. 'Awwwwwwwww,' Opening her mouth, she keeps the noise up the entire time Butler pokes around in it.

'Please, you can stop now,' he pulls back. 'I know you think this is pointless but it never hurts to be sure everything is in working order.'

'Yeah...' Holly fiddles with the newspaper she held, 'I just... this makes it real, you know?'

'Yes.' Butler hits her knees lightly, watching her legs twitch in response. 'But, and this sounds harsh, the sooner you come to terms with your situation, the sooner you can start enjoying life again.'

'But I don't want -'

Butler interrupts, giving her a flat stare, unimpressed. 'To what? Be happy? You're not made for depression, Holly, so don't force yourself. You're better than that.'

'I just changed species. I've lost my magic, I've lost the right to fly, I'll be exiled from my home, I'll never see my friends again, I have barely anything to my name. Can't you cut me some slack?' Holly puts the paper down with a smack, grabbing at her sudden anger, desperate to feel something other than helplessness.

'No. You don't want to be cut slack. You've never wanted to be cut slack. Yes, all that has happened, but I still believe you to be entirely capable. If I sat around letting you cry into my shoulder and pitying you, that would prove nothing except that you can't handle this. I respect you too much to pity you. Now hold out your left arm, I want to check mobility.'

Dumbfounded, Holly does as she is told.

'Thanks, Butler.' She speaks quietly, sometime later, as, very slowly, warmth takes the places of her fury.

'You're welcome,' he replies, hugging her to him briefly. Holly smiles and sniffs into his stomach.

'Sorry, we're clo- Foaly?' Mulch blinks in surprise. 'What in Frond's name are you doing here?'

'I've got some news.' Foaly stands awkwardly in the doorway.

Mulch sets aside his papers. 'O-okay. Shoot.'

'It's Holly. She... she... something went wrong with Opal...' Foaly fiddles with his fingers, too miserable to continue.

Unfortunately, this leaves Mulch assuming the worst. 'No.' He stands up, the sudden movement sending flurries of paper to the ground. 'No. She can't be. She's- she's not-'

'She's not dead,' Foaly shakes his head.

'Oh thank Frond.' Mulch sits down again, sending flurries of paper up into the air.

'She's human.'

There is silence. Mulch's jaw drops. Literally. Down the hall, Doodah can be heard singing a Broadway tune. His seems like another world. In the office, between Mulch and Foaly, there is nothing but horror stretching for eternity.

'That's not possible,' whispers Mulch, what feels like years later.

'Neither was escaping a bio bomb,' Foaly replies.

'But... how? I don't understand. Why?' He starts rearranging papers on his desk, moving one pile to another and vice versa, not noticing or caring what goes where.

'Opal wanted revenge. Thought this was the best way to get it. She grabbed Artemis, stuck a gun into his neck, lured Holly in and shot her through the heart.'

'Shot her through the heart,' repeats Mulch.

'Yeah.'

'With what? Some kind of crazy species-ray? I mean come on, what is this, a mud man sci-fi movie? Elves can't just become humans. She just can't.' Mulch swallows audibly.

Foaly doesn't bother answering the questions. As tempting as it is to go into the science of it, even he knows now is not the time.

'She'll hate it.' Mulch shakes his head.

'At least she as friends on the surface to take care of her,' Foaly offers, feeling, for the first time in their long and colourful acquaintance, truly fond of the grubby, hirsute dwarf.

'Oh yeah, she'll just love having to depend on Artemis for help. Her pride'll take that one lying down for sure. Frond, Opal really thought this one out well. Holly'll be miserable and furious and humiliated,' Mulch gestures to one side, then the other. 'He'll be miserable because she's miserable, but also ecstatic because finally here's his chance with her, and then he'll feel guilty for feeling ecstatic. Then meanwhile, she'll guess that he's secretly happy and she'll resent that and finally end up hating him and then, wham-o! The whole thing will just end up one big mess of screaming and bloody noses and broken hearts. I can see it already.'

Foaly frowns. His finger traces little arcs in the air as he tries to follow Mulch's leaps in logic. 'Uh, sure,' he says at last, 'if you say so.'

Mulch sniffs loudly and blows his nose on a random sheet of paperwork. 'Trust me, this is a disaster.'

Foaly reaches out and tentatively pats Mulch on the shoulder. The dwarf sags. 'I'm trying to be melodramatic and clownish here,' he says, 'to lighten the mood. But it's not making me feel any better.' He looks up at Foaly, and the centaur watches his tears as they get caught and lost in the wild hair of his beard. 'I'm going to miss her.'

Foaly nods, but can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound trite. In a rare moment of dignity, he stays silent, one hand on the other fairy's shoulder.

Suddenly Mulch gasps. 'Foaly... they're not going to mind wipe her, are they?'

'I don't know,' comes the miserable reply.