Sorry for the wait! Just finished moving continents so I'm a bit frazzled at the moment.

I'm going to run out of ways to say that ilex-ferox is awesome. But that doesn't make it any less true!!

Chapter Five: Question and Answer

Foaly calls bright and early the next morning.

'Helloooo up there, Sleeping Beauty. Rise and shine, Princess.'

Holly crawls out of bed looking more than a little the worse for the wear. She plops down in front of the laptop Artemis has left in her room, propping her face in her hands. 'What?' she asks.

'Good morning to you too. You should be grateful, I've been up all night working and, now that my shift is finally over, instead of running home to my lovely wife what am I doing? That's right, I'm calling my best friend, because I am just that nice.'

'That's a beautiful story Foaly. You shouldn't have. Really.'

'Don't worry, baggy eyes, I'll be quick. Your bank account is all set up and your card is in the mail. Isn't it amazing what humans let you do over the internet? I just love the little buggers. But not only that, and this is where you realise how good a friend I am, I have gotten you citizenship!'

Holly blinks. 'Citizenship of what?'

'Of the Kingdom of Antarctica,' Foaly deadpans, 'of the Republic of Ireland obviously, where else? As of 2:37 this morning, Holly Short is officially a citizen of the Emerald Isle and always has been, ever since her birth in South Dublin, 18 years ago.'

'18? I'm barely legal! Again! No one's going to believe that.'

'Uh, don't know if you've looked in a mirror lately, but you sure as hell only look barely legal.'

'I do?'

'Mm hmm.'

Holly considers this. 'No wonder Artemis' dad didn't believe I was in law enforcement.'

Foaly chokes. 'You told him you were in law enforcement? Are you nuts? Couldn't you think of a better lie? Like: Oh, I'm taking a gap year after high school, or something?'

'I hate lying. Besides, to me, I'm still 84. High school ended decades ago. It never even occurred to me. S'ok though, Angeline told him I work with Artemis so I think he thinks I'm some kind of crazy Mafia king-pin's daughter, or who knows what. We're planning on telling him I'm an interpreter.' She has no idea that that lie has already been spread.

'Mm, Artemis told me about the language thing.'

'Weird, isn't it?'

'Yeah, but compared to the fact that you've switched species, I'm finding it relatively easy to believe.'

Holly chuckles, 'Fair enough.'

Foaly watches her for a second. 'You look a lot better, Holly. That... I'm glad.'

'I feel better. I mean, I still feel... empty sometimes. And it hurts, but, well, things just don't seem quite so hopeless right now.'

'Good.'

'I'm sorry I made you worry so much.'

'I wasn't worried.'

'Foaly, you were lining up your carrots. You only do that when you're worried.'

'Ok, well, maybe a little bit.'

She smiles, putting her hand to the screen. His smiles back, his cheeks stretching under her fingers.

'Your passport should arrive today,' he says eventually.

'Wow, you are efficient. Thanks, Foaly.'

'Any time. You have a good day, alright?'

'And you have a good sleep. Say hi to Caballine for me.'

'Will do!'

Holly flicks off the computer, smiling at her reflection in the blackened screen.

'That was nice of Foaly,' Artemis comments from the couch.

She sits backwards on her chair to face him. 'He loves doing stuff like that. Makes him feel devious.'

Artemis rubs his neck as he sits up. 'Thank you for the blanket.'

'Thank you for the wings.'

The light is entirely different now. Instead of the cold underwater film of moonlight that left him looking like a sylph, the morning sunlight brings out the faint colours of his pale skin until he looks nearly human. With a growing sense of contentment, Holly watches him yawn and stretch and finger comb his hair. She will never tell him but, in that moment, she is as happy as she has ever been. There's something about being able to watch people you care for do simple, everyday things that brings such inexplicable pleasure. Maybe it's gratitude - knowing that those simple, everyday things are actually the rarest of all.

'How does your back feel?' she asks at length.

'As though I slept on a couch of miniscule proportions,' comes the grumpy reply.

'Wonder why? Go lie on the bed, Artemis; I'll find us some tea.'

In mild confusion, Artemis watches her leave. Why on earth she seems so peaceful he has no idea. But he's never been very good at understanding her wild mood swings, so he shrugs to himself and does as she says, stretching out on the magnificently large bed.

He dozes off again, waking with a start to find her sitting next to him, calmly sipping tea and reading.

'How long have I been asleep?'

'Forty minutes or so. Do you want that tea? It might be a bit lukewarm by now.'

'Please.' Lukewarm or not, he needs the caffeine.

'Your mother wants to go into town today,' Holly comments, seemingly casual.

'Ah yes?'

'Mmm, she says I'll need real clothes if I'm determined to live in the real world.'

'And what did you say to that?'

'I asked her if we could wait another day until my bank card arrived.'

'And she said?'

'She laughed at me and told me to get dressed.'

'You'll be doing her a favour, really. My mother adores doing things like this.'

'Things like what?'

'Decorating.'

'You're making me feel like a Christmas tree.'

'You know what that is?'

'Foaly showed me pictures once. What a ridiculous waste. I suppose you guys have a dozen every year here.'

'Not a dozen. Usually just one very large one in the drawing room.'

'Fabulous.' Holly sighs. 'Any excuse to kill things will do, won't it?'

'Actually, our trees are generally still living. Father has them planted on the grounds on New Year's Day.'

'Oh.'

Artemis watches her sip her tea. He knows he should get off the bed and let her get dressed but he can't quite bring himself to do it. Two minutes more, he promises himself.

In the end Angeline comes knocking, wondering where on earth Holly has disappeared to.

'You're not even dressed yet!' she exclaims when Holly opens the door.

'No, sorry, I'll go do that. I just... we...' she gestures helplessly.

'Foaly called,' Artemis supplies. 'We distracted her.' Well, it was mostly true.

'Ah,' Angeline replies, her lips twitching at her son's rumpled clothes, 'of course. Well, stop it, Arty, and go get dressed yourself. I don't suppose you want to come into town as well?'

He doesn't, not really, but the idea of Holly disappearing to who knows where for the entire day is simply impossible. 'Yes, actually, there are a few things I would like to pick up.'

Angeline doesn't question him further. 'Well then, go on! Hurry up! We'll meet you in the hall.'

Artemis hurries away, already fantasizing about the minty taste of his toothpaste.

They meet in the hall, Butler, Artemis, Holly, Angeline, and Butler Junior, as Holly has taken to thinking of him. She counts at least three guns and two knives on him but is quite sure there's more. Somehow, none of these weapons make her feel any more relaxed about their upcoming excursion.

They pile into Angeline's convertible, the three in the back only somewhat squashed; luckily, Holly and Artemis are small enough to make up for Butler's girth.

'Is he any good?' Holly asks quietly, gesturing with her chin towards their driver.

'Of course,' answers Butler, 'he's a Butler.'

'You have no idea how much it scares me to know there is more than just one of you running around in the world,' Holly says.

Artemis tsks. 'There isn't. Butler is one of a kind. Don't worry.'

Holly nudges Butler. 'Hear that, big man?'

Butler smiles. 'Was,' he says, 'not is.'

Holly lays a hand on his arm.

After Butler and Butler have thoroughly checked it for booby traps, they take the lift down from the top floor of the car park.

'Doesn't it get tiring?' asks Holly.

'Doesn't what get tiring?' responds Angeline.

'Having to check everything before you go anywhere. Don't you ever just, you know, walk down the pavement? Just go somewhere, without thinking about it.'

'The last time we just went somewhere, I ended up in a cryogenics unit,' Butler reminds her.

'Good point.' Out of the corner of her eye, Holly watches the reaction of Other Butler to this revelation. Not a twitch. Man, these guys are good, thinks Holly.

The lift door bings open and spits them out onto an unusually sunny pavement in central Dublin.

'There are so many people.' Holly backs up, colliding with the mass of Butler.

'And they won't look twice at you,' he lays his hands on her shoulders.

Holly swallows audibly. 'This goes against... against everything... my whole life...'

'Just think, when you leave the Manor, you'll have to live amongst the masses every day,' Artemis comments, utterly casual, as he checks his nails.

Holly takes a deep breath, her lips pursing of their own accord. 'Well then, it's a good thing I don't have a problem with it, isn't it, Artemis?' She begins to walk away.

Butler sighs. 'You don't have to goad her into everything, you know.'

'It's the fastest, surest way of making her do anything,' Artemis replies, unperturbed.

'And isn't going to make her want to stay any more than she does now.'

'I'll deal with that later. Right now she needs to learn to assimilate.'

Butler gives up.

Angeline catches up with Holly, taking her arm in hers. 'Truly, no one will know. You're safe.'

Holly nods but doesn't speak.

'To answer your question,' Angeline continues, to distract her, 'yes, it does get tiring. Days like this are rare, when I can simply walk down the side walk in the sun. And not just because it rains 356 days out of 365 in Ireland. Of course, I've started doing it more and more. As Timmy has given up his old way of life there's been a lot more time for doing everyday things. But I still find it strange, even five, really six now I suppose, years on. Before I couldn't leave the house without a chauffeur, a Butler and a bag carrier trained in jujitsu. We went from point A to point B directly, in a car, no dilly dallying in plain sight. I prefer this I think. Though sometimes I still feel a little scared.'

'Don't worry,' Holly smirks, 'if anyone tries to mug you, I'll break their nose.'

'How very gallant of you. I'm glad all that practice on my son will come in useful.'

'Ehhh,' Holly replies, tugging at her collar.

Angeline giggles.

'Your mother and Holly certainly get along fine,' Butler comments, 'useful, that.'

Artemis arches an eyebrow. 'But not really necessary, as she doesn't intend to live in the Manor.'

'If she likes Angeline, it'd be yet another reason to stay. Besides, it's not like she'll buy a flat in Antarctica. I have a feeling she'll be visiting the Manor often enough.'

'How on earth would you know? She's utterly unstable. It wouldn't surprise me if she decided to move to the Amazon Basin simply to prove her ridiculous point.'

'I doubt it. At least,' Butler reconsiders, 'not unless you do something really unforgivable.'

'Yes, you're very droll. My sides split,' Artemis deadpans.

'I try.'

'You really needn't.'

Butler laughs. He had forgotten how Holly's presence always makes their lives a little brighter. Artemis jokes, Butler laughs, banter flies and everyone can forget, momentarily at least, the surrounding uncertainties. Butler eyes his charge, even the uncertainties she herself causes.

'Besides,' adds Artemis, 'whatever love she has for my mother is certainly negated by how little she likes my father.'

'Ah,' says Butler. 'Maybe with time?'

Artemis gives him a look that speaks volumes.

Up ahead, Angeline has stopped at the main entrance to Powerscourt Centre. 'I was thinking about starting with Matt Doody, he is one of my favourite local designers.' Taking Holly's clueless silence as acquiescence, she continues, 'Gentlemen, we are going to go in. If you care to join us, I take absolutely no responsibility for your ensuing boredom. If you're continuing on, would you care to meet for lunch at, say, one?'

Artemis eyes the store and Butler can see him trying to find a way of justifying following them in. At last he sighs, 'Lunch sounds lovely, Mother.'

'Coward,' Holly chuckles.

'You say that now,' Artemis replies with dignity.

'Make a reservation, would you, darling?' Angeline kisses her son's cheek, 'And call me. See you later!'

Holly watches people stream past her as she and Angeline go from shop to shop, Butler Junior in tow with the bags. It isn't so terribly different from downtown Haven, she thinks to herself. Teenyboppers window shopping, teenygothers hanging out on corners, fiddling with their piercings, mothers with pushchairs, chattering away, uni students in baggy jeans carrying book bags the size of small cars. High heels striding purposefully down pavements, worn out sneakers shuffling along, asking for change. Except for the cars.

Holly wonders how anyone can hear themselves think over the constant growl of motors, how they can find breath to breathe through the clouds of exhaust fumes. True, her human senses don't really pick up on the reek of petrol or the smog of outlying factory chimneys, but she knows they're there from previous experience. And it makes her ill just thinking about it.

Holly's communicator buzzes. She looks down at it and wishes the Council had asked for that back, instead of her Book. She sighs, flipping it open. 'Mm hmm?'

'Is Mother there?'

'Obviously.'

'Where are you now?'

'Eh... we just finished up with Deborah Veale in Kilkenny's. We're on – ah – Naussau Street,' she switches to Gnommish, 'Arty, enough is enough. I can't... I don't want to be rude to your mother but this is getting ridiculous, you have to tell her to stop. I feel so... so... this isn't how I live. All this money... it makes me uncomfortable.'

Artemis laughs. 'Let her enjoy herself, Holly. She doesn't spend more than she ought.'

Holly doesn't say anything about the purchase of a certain lemur. 'I just need a pair of trousers and a shirt. I love shopping as much as the next girl but I'm not a d'Arvitting debutante. I don't need tailor made sweatpants.'

He sighs, 'Alright, alright, put her on. We've booked a table; that will distract her. And, if it makes you feel better, afterwards Butler can take you to look at knives or something.'

'Gee thanks, if I'm really good, will I get a lolly too?' she smirks to hear him exhale sharply through his nose. 'Here's your mum.'

Angeline, looking somewhat confused at the sudden cascade of unknown language next to her, takes the tiny communicator and holds it gingerly to her ear, extending her little finger towards her mouth as she's seen Holly do. 'Hello?' she asks. Her expression clears at the sound of her son's voice. 'Darling! Yes, mm hmm, really? No, no, that's lovely. Of course. Already? Oh well, alright then. Excellent, yes, fifteen minutes. See you then.'

Holly slips the communicator back into her jacket pocket. 'Where are we going for lunch?'

'Arty didn't tell you?'

'I didn't really give him the chance,' Holly admits.

'A restaurant back in Powerscourt, a place called Café Fresh. It's all vegetarian - lots of fusion food - and has been quite well received, actually. Several women from my reading group were there last week, said it was absolutely lovely. If you like vegetables.'

Holly can't wait.

'This is delicious!' her surprise is evident as she takes her first bite of what she believes may be the world's most massive salad.

Artemis smirks. 'I know it's difficult to believe, but we Neanderthals do know how to cook.'

'It is difficult to believe. Though, this could always be the exception that proves the rule.'

'Thank you,' says Butler, 'I'm glad you've enjoyed my meals so much over the years.'

'Butler, you're an exception to so many rules,' Holly waves a forkful of baby spinach at him, 'that you don't even count.'

'Or maybe there simply isn't a rule to be proved at all,' Artemis continues doggedly.

Holly raises her eyebrows. 'Are you saying that there are things in this world that other humans are capable of doing, but that you, Artemis Fowl the Second, are not? Is that what you're saying?'

'I don't follow,' Artemis' brow furrows.

Holly smirks, 'Mulch told me about that sandwich you made him.' She puts the word sandwich in finger quotations.

The boy groans. 'It's harder than it looks, alright?'

Holly laughs until she chokes on a pecan.

Lunch finished, they return home with what Angeline considers to be far too few, and Holly far too many, bags.

Sitting in the back once more as they speed down the highway, Holly pulls distractedly at her clothes, accidently whacking Artemis in the ribs in the process.

'Would you please stop tugging at your collar, not only is it distracting but you're giving me bruises. What's the matter with it?'

'It feels funny. And it smells ever since we left those stores. It smells like-'

'Mud Man?'

'Exactly.' Holly looks down at her lap, 'I suppose I'd better get used to that. I smell like Mud Man now.'

'If it's any consolation, you don't smell any different to me.'

'Yeah, I'm sure you can tell what I smell like when we're speeding along a windy road with the top down.'

Artemis sighs.

Holly shakes her head and lays a hand on his arm, 'Thanks, Arty.'

'It was a foolish thing to say anyway. I have no idea what you smelled like before.'

'Liar, liar...' Holly punches him gently and chuckles.

Angeline and Butler watch this and smile at each other in the rear-view mirror. Even Butler's third cousin lets his lips twitch in the barest hint of a smile.

Back at the Manor, Artemis Senior prepares himself. His curiosity is killing him. He wants to know just who this Holly character is. He has run a background check on her, but that's only served to make him more curious. Born June 11th, 1990 (as he thought, not even older than his son) in the National Maternity Hospital ("south" in only the loosest of ways, Butler), to parents Coral and Fen Short, whom he assumes to be immigrants because they do not have Irish citizenship. Indeed, they don't appear to have any citizenship from what he could find. Apparently, they also left the country soon after she was born as there is no record of her enrolment in the National Education Welfare Board in Ireland, nor was she ever vaccinated. And also, he wonders, why would she have paperwork troubles if she's a native? All in all, the girl is an utter conundrum.

And, conscious that last night did not go favourably, he wants to make it up to her. She is, after all, the only one of his son's friends, apart from Butler, whom he has ever met. He is determined to get to know her, especially if he is going to hire her.

From an upper window he watches the convertible pull up and its passengers, with their many bags, disembark. He goes down to help with carrying things.

'Well, how was it? A successful day?' He kisses Angeline on the forehead, smiling just to see her. He doesn't think he will ever get tired of looking at her.

She laughs then pouts. 'Holly is really quite stubborn about gifts. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm doing this out of an entirely selfish desire to dress her up!'

'Tsk, honestly,' he replies, 'how silly of her! Though, speaking of Miss Short, I have a proposition for you, young lady.' He turns to Holly a moment too late to see her twitch at the civilian title. 'Butler informs me that you are a pilot of a rather high calibre. Unfortunately, Artemis is still working on remodelling our helicopter, but I recently bought the prototype of an electric car and, as most pilots I've met enjoy cars nearly as much as planes, I was wondering if you'd care to join me for a spin? I'd love to see it put through its paces by a professional,' he smiles disarmingly.

There are few things in the world Holly would rather do less, but she smiles and nods. 'That'd be just great.' Luckily only Artemis and Butler pick up on the false note in her voice. 'Just let me put these bags upstairs.'

'Oh, don't worry about that, I'll have someone take them up.'

'Don't be silly, darling,' Angeline interjects, 'Where's the fun in new clothes if you don't get to go through them all as soon as you get home? Just give us twenty minutes then you can go out and play.'

Artemis Senior concedes gracefully.

Safely in her room, Holly flops onto her bed. 'Unnngh,' she groans into her pillow.

Then comes the inevitable knock on her door.

'Come on in,' she calls, rolling her eyes.

To her surprise, Butler enters, not Artemis.

'I forgot to mention this to you last night. Artemis' father saw you practising in the gym and now he's thinking about hiring you.'

'Hiring me? What for?'

'For Artemis. As a bodyguard.'

'But I'm not a Butler,' she says the first thing that comes into her mind. 'Ung, no, wait, I mean, what? Are you serious? A bodyguard? I'd kill him myself before anyone else had the chance to. No, I can't. He's not serious is he? Does Artemis know?'

'Yes, he is and no, he doesn't, not so far as I'm aware. And why not? You know Artemis, perhaps better than anyone. You're good enough, and it wouldn't take me long to make you better. I mean, you'll never be me, but-'

Holly chucks a pillow smack at his smirk.

He catches it a millimetre before it connects and grins at her as he tosses it back. 'Nice try.'

There is another knock at the door and Artemis enters without waiting for a response. 'Butler! Have you told her about our cover story?'

'Ah, no, I was just getting to that. But you go ahead.'

'Cover story?'

'For my father,' Artemis begins.

'Hol- oh, you're all here already,' Angeline arrives in the doorway, hastily shutting the door behind her. 'What are we going to tell your father? He's getting curious, you know how he is.'

'I was just about to explain that.'

'Oh, sorry, dear, please continue.'

'Thank you. Now, my father. Ah...' Artemis collects his thoughts, 'right. Well, having taken into consideration your LEP training and natural aptitudes, Butler and I have told my father that we hire you as a sort of combination pilot-driver-interpreter, when we travel to places where neither of us speak the language. Obviously, he must assume that we've worked together many times, seeing as we've invited you to stay with us, but he shouldn't ask about the jobs, he knows how things are there.'

'I, ah, also told him you've had some sort of combat training... I didn't specify. It could be anything from judo to guerrilla warfare for all he knows. He was watching you go at it with those knives, I had to come up with something,' Butler shrugs at Artemis' raised eyebrows, 'Nice footwork, by the way.'

'Thanks,' Holly blushes a little, 'I haven't worked with knives in ages. We do very little knife-work at the Academy. It's considered to be more a part of wilderness training.'

'What about her parents?' asks Angeline.

'Which reminds me, your passport should have arrived by now,' Artemis interjects.

Holly runs a hand through her hair. 'Why do you all have to be so d'Arvitting inquisitive? Even your little brother sounds like he ate an encyclopaedia.'

Artemis smiles, 'Myles? Yes, he is rather bright.'

'Rather bright,' Holly mimics. 'Yeah, and goblins are only just a little below average.'

'Anyway,' Artemis continues, but is interrupted by yet another knock.

'Grand Central Station, how may we help you?' calls Holly.

Artemis Senior enters, seeming surprised at the number of other guests. 'I just came to ask if you were ready?'

'Why not?' Holly asks rhetorically, hopping off the bed. 'See you guys in a bit.'

Angeline, Artemis and Butler watch the other two head off down the hall.

'Here goes nothing,' says Butler.

Mother and son nod silently.

Holly runs a hand along the sleek side of the car. It is black and low and sparkles in the afternoon sun. Holly is in love.

'It's beautiful,' she says, her appreciation clearly evident.

Her companion smiles, happy to have pleased her. 'Isn't she just?' He tosses her the keys, 'Let's see what she can do.'

Holly catches the key without looking up from the shiny surface of the bonnet. 'Brilliant,' she says.

She takes the driveway sedately enough and Artemis Senior is just about to open fire when they leave the Manor grounds and turn onto the main road. Suddenly they are going seven times their previous speed. The man's eyes widen as the scenery whips past them in an undistinguishable blur.

He's brought her out here to interview her and they both know it. Unfortunately for Artemis Senior, though Holly may look like a pretty wee girl, after her colourful career under Julius and her equally colourful relationship with her passenger's son, she is an adept in the art of avoiding questions, even from someone as wily as himself. She weaves the car in and out of traffic with a skill that, had he not been too busy fearing for his life, he would have found unbelievable and which, more importantly, leaves him incapable of forming coherent sentences.

For her part, Holly doesn't bother trying to make distracting conversation; she simply enjoys the deep satisfaction that comes of doing what she was born to do.

Finally, when the power gauge begins to nosedive towards the red end, she returns them to Fowl Manor. Artemis Senior has no idea where they've been, but is dimly aware that is a miracle they weren't pulled over by the Garda.

Flushed with satisfaction, Holly switches off the engine, handing the keys back to her passenger. 'Thanks for that,' she says, unbuckling her seatbelt. 'It was just what I needed.'

'I... I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,' he stutters. 'Ah, er... b-before you go, I just have a few questions.'

'Oh yes?'

'Yes, I hope you don't mind. I'm a terribly curious person.'

'Like father, like son.'

'Precisely. Which is what I wanted to ask you about. How long have you, ah, worked with my son? If you don't mind my saying so, you two seem quite close for occasional co-workers.'

'Fair enough. I've known him since he was twelve.'

'Twelve? What on earth did you have to do with him when he was twelve?'

Holly thinks about this for a moment. 'He kidnapped me. For ransom,' she says at last.

Artemis Senior blinks. On the one hand, her family must have serious money to make her worth kidnapping (and it would be just like a Fowl to pinch rival families' offspring) which would explain the lack of legal documents. On the other, surely his son hadn't been kidnapping people at the age of twelve? That was jumping the gun, even for a Fowl. He decides to give Artemis the benefit of the doubt.

'You're quite the joker, aren't you? Well, don't worry, I'll find out sooner or later.'

Holly just smiles, showing her incisors. Artemis Senior swears he's seen that exact same smile on his son's face. He decides to move on. 'You have quite remarkable eyes, Miss Short. Your mother must be quite beautiful.'

'My mother is dead,' replies Holly. 'But yes, I think she was very beautiful. Thank you.'

'I'm sorry.'

Holly shrugs, 'It was a long time ago.'

'You were raised by your father, then?'

'Oh no, he died before my mother.'

'Oh. What happened to them, if you don't mind my asking?'

'Not at all. My father was killed in action and my mother died of poisoning after she was involved in a waste removal incident.'

'I'm very sorry.' Not how the rich and unknown usually die, he thinks.

Holly smiles, a little sadly, 'Thank you.'

Artemis Senior pauses, silent for a moment. Holly hopes he's thinking that he can't, in all decency, continue after that. Using my parents' deaths to fend off questions, she thinks, Artemis really must be rubbing off on me, how callous.

Abruptly, he looks her in the eye, 'Miss Short, let me be frank. I don't know who you are and, aside from a birth certificate, you seemingly do not exist. Personal curiosity aside however, I want to know just what my son has gotten himself involved with. If you are going to live in my house, I should like to who it is that I am harbouring.'

'I appreciate your bluntness,' Holly smiles, 'but an invitation from your son does not entitle you to my life story. You, of all people, should be able to understand someone's need for privacy. Artemis knows who and what I am. Isn't that enough for you?'

'My son is a young man, Miss Short, and young men, no matter how intelligent, are all susceptible to the charms of pretty young women.'

Holly looks at the man as though he has grown a second head. 'You don't know your son at all, do you?' she asks, indignant on Artemis' behalf. 'Yes, young men are all, in varying degrees, susceptible to charm. And yes, even Artemis went through a phase like that. For three months, when he was thirteen,' she deadpans. 'He wouldn't jeopardise the safety of his family, not for anyone.' She glares at the man beside her, 'How can you think so little of your own son? If you knew-' She stops abruptly.

Artemis Senior blinks, 'If I knew what?'

'Nothing. It's none of your business. But let me just say that your son deserves more of your respect. He, at least, isn't a hypocrite. He knows his own defects. And, back to the original point, even if Artemis is being led astray by his wandering eyes, Butler isn't. And Butler is as good a friend of mine as Artemis is.'

'Yes, he does seem very fond of you,' he speaks quietly, a little taken aback by the ferocity of her verbal slap in the face.

'He is. Because we're friends. And we have been for years. So why don't you take all that excess energy and time you've been putting into looking me up and spend it learning about your son. Frond, no wonder he was so terrible as a child!' With that, and one final glare, she steps out of the car, slamming the door behind her.

Head of the infamous Fowl clan, one-time kingpin of the criminal underworld, controller of countless millions, Artemis Fowl I watches one small woman storm into his manor and, for the first time in a long while, feels ashamed.