When Duty Isn't Enough

Author: Firebird

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Neither Hot Fuzz nor its characters, settings etc. are mine. Original characters are, as the name would imply, original and belong to me.

Author's Note: I've tried to make Danny sound a bit more like Danny in this chapter: I don't feel I did a very good job of him last time. Also, having shown Nick's relationship with Danny and Doris as being fairly equal, I wanted to give him an excuse to pull rank. As the Andys were my least-favourite characters, guess who ended up the target?

**

"Phwoar, NicholARSE!" Andy Cartwright hollered across the station as soon as Nick walked through the door the next day. Nick stared at him, momentarily shocked into silence. "Yeah!" The Detective Constable added a couple of pelvic thrusts, just in case his meaning wasn't already abundantly clear.

"Excuse me!" Recovering his power of speech, along with disgust and a deep anger that was rapidly reaching boiling point, the Inspector strode across to his subordinate.

Cartwright was, as usual, completely unable to read the signs of impending doom, and continued on regardless. "So, who is she then? She as tasty as she looks? Wearing anything under that skirt?"

"Detective Constable," Nicholas began, his tone low and biting, "As your Inspector I am willing to tolerate a certain degree of barracks-room humour between officers in the name of camaraderie and because, frankly, if I didn't I'd be looking for a new staff within a week. I will not, however, tolerate any officer in this station making crude and vulgar remarks about any member of the public, most definitely including my girlfriend." The volume of his voice had been steadily rising as his temper reached boiling point, and now became a shout. "Do I make myself clear, Detective Constable Cartwright?"

Cartwright had continued grinning as Nick began his tirade, but by the end, with his commanding officer's furious face now only inches from his own, he had finally realised that the Inspector wasn't joking. His grin faded to a nervous swallow. "Yeah, Chief, got it."

"And you?" Nick rounded on Wainwright, who had been watching the unfolding drama wide-eyed. He held up his hands and shook his head, the universal gesture for 'I want nothing to do with this.'

"In that case," Nicholas' tone was now icily controlled, "I suggest you both find somewhere else to be. Right now."

The pair practically fell over themselves in their haste to leave, and he turned his furious expression on Doris and Danny. His best friend was looking decidedly uneasy, whilst Doris' expression was only a few notches below terrified.

"I thought I made it clear to the two of you that this was a private matter."

"Hey, don't blame us!" Danny protested. "What'd you expect would happen if you went making out with her in front of the 'ole village?"

He closed his eyes in realisation, his anger turning abruptly inward. "Shit."

"Well," Danny suggested hesitantly, "maybe it's better this way? I mean, women don't generally like it if you act like you're ashamed of them."

"I know, I know," his friend responded. "I just... I don't like the feeling that everyone's watching me all the time. It's like I don't have any privacy here, and if I screw this up it'll be in full view of the public."

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "It's a bastard, eh?"

Nick nodded, and headed towards his office. He needed a few moments to collect himself.

"Chief?" Doris called tentatively.

"Yeah, Doris?"

"It's nothing really. It's just that, when you were reaming Andy out, I couldn't help noticing that you called Lily your 'girlfriend'?" There was a hopeful look in her eye, and Nick sighed.

"Yes, well, we made out in front of half of Sandford, so I guess it's official. If you'll excuse me."

He shut the door to his office and leaned against it, drawing a deep breath. Outside, Doris and Danny nudged one another and grinned.

**

The summer sun was warming the stones of Sandford when Nick joined Danny in their patrol car an hour later. To the casual eye the Inspector now appeared fully composed, as though his earlier outburst had never happened. Danny, however, knew his old partner better than anyone, and immediately noticed the tight set of his jaw and the rigid line of his shoulders.

"I thought you'd be pleased," he muttered in a subdued tone as they pulled away from the curb.

"About Cartwright? How could I possibly be pleased about-"

"No, I meant about Lily. I mean, here you've been moping about for months needing a girlfriend, and now one moves in right next door and you've got a face like a wet weekend."

"You know I like to keep my private life private."

"Yeah, I know, but the thing you've gotta accept, Nick, is this isn't London. Everyone knows everyone round 'ere, and it's no use trying to keep anything secret. You 'n Lily'll be the talk of the village for a few weeks, but then you'll be old news."

"Doesn't that bother you?" He turned to look at his partner, curiosity easing some of the tight lines his face had settled into. "Having everyone know your personal business, that doesn't bother you at all?"

Danny shrugged. "Never really lived anywhere else, have I? Half the people we pass on the street've known me since I were a kid. Doris and I were in the same year all through school. Truth is, I can't imagine not knowin' everyone's names and personal business. It's just the way it is."

"I guess it's different for me. London's big, anonymous. Everyone's just another face in the crowd, and so are you. No-one cares who you are, or who you're seeing. You can be... invisible."

"And that's better than being surrounded by people who care about you? We do, you know. Even the Andys. I mean, they're a couple of pricks, obviously, but they do care."

Nick smiled slightly. "Yeah, I know."

"So stop worryin' about it. You've just got yourself a new girlfriend; why not think about her instead?" When he received no reply he stole a sideways glance at Nick, and saw that he had finally relaxed into his seat, his lips turned up slightly as he apparently took his friend's advice. "So, is it like you imagined?" he prompted at last.

"Hmm?"

"You know, butterflies and tongue-tied, and sweaty hands."

Nick nodded. "Surprisingly, not the last one."

"Yeah?" It was Danny's turn to nod as he considered this information. "Just as well, really."

He continued to drive, and the pair lapsed into comfortable silence for a while.

"By the way, Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"You owe the swear-box for two 's'-words."

"You..."

"Careful, or you'll owe it for that, too."