Author's note: At last this has been done!! I'm pleased that it is, because it moves the story on and closer to the finish! Again with this one I decided to do a different POV. Ultima's. Its not as long as Zodiark chapter, but I hope that it does remain true to the character I have established in the past. I have my doubts…but then again who doesn't! This also has a little swearing innit. Just be warned. ;)

Again as always this is dedicated to all those who lurve the Basch/Ashe pairing and those who like a good read. My sisters, Earisu..Georgia, Maudie and Feebs. This is for you too.

True Feelings:

ULTIMA

I was connected to the world, I felt the life and I was the life. I was the light, the compassion, and love, pure and untainted. I was created to be all the good, all the brightness and soul of existence. I was beauty and to one, I was everything Her children were not.

She had a love toward me that I would not return.

I was "made" for Her but for my refusal, She brought despair and pain the likes of which no one or no thing had experienced. The low life I was forced to ferry as punishment bore the brunt of Her wrath. I was made to witness their deaths and take them beyond. Yet Her torment and the punishment never fazed me.

Though I served Her, I would not become possessed by Her, nor anyone else.

Or so I had thought.

Then the Darkness was created and He was so beautiful.

Already others of my kind had been bore from the black. They were so deadly to a holy creature such as myself, yet at this time, the precise moment when Darkness was at its most powerful, He came forth.

Zodiark.

He was small for our kind, a tiny being amongst titans, but the Darkness poured from Him and He breathed and thrived upon it. The black is His essence and despite it being so painful to me, I found Him more beautiful and radiant than anything that the Goddess was. Zodiark was a powerful angry being, furious and volatile and none rivalled Him. Not even His own kin came close to matching His power.

Yet for us, there was a pull, a connection that was impossible to ignore. He didn't understand why He wanted to be near someone who could hurt Him so much with her light, but as He grew, so did I.

It was love, that true feeling, that one sense and emotion that couldn't be described as anything else. For our elements, we would always be opposite. Being together in these forms would bring us pain, but it was not nearly as agonizing as being apart.

I never thought we could merge together. We both thought we would kill ourselves with such an act and…we nearly did.

However, Her envious jealousy caused me a pain I had never wanted to experience.

My Zodiark was ripped away, defiled and scarred with such horrific malformity, that no one could see the magnificence He once held. There was no handsome essence to Him or the unwavering strength that He had possessed. Even after He was stripped of his beauty, Zodiark suffered more anguish and was locked in a prison upon the earth of Ivalice. She took Him away from me, hoping that I would give up on my feelings for Him and come back to Her. But She only made me angrier.

I was not the only one.

Everything had changed when some of my kin saw what the Goddess had become. They saw Her madness and were just as angered for Her treatment of the Keeper. The First had broken the law and there was only one way to answer to it.

Retaliation turned into a fight against those still blindly devoted to the creature. The fight emerged into a War, terrible but one I still believe was right. I stand by my actions to lead the uprising against our Gods, parents and brethren. I believe that the deaths were for the right cause. If Zodiark had been there, no one could have stood against Him.

I was doing this all for Him. Many of my kin died horribly. Millions, billions of lives were lost. I could hear their screams and feel every death and it was because of that which made me so weak, it was so many endless deaths that took away my compassion. Nothing else mattered to me any more.

The First was too strong for all of us. Eventually, there was only a handful of my kind left.

We thought we would die, we expected nothing more from the crazed Goddess who had been unmerciful in her infliction of death. Yet, it did not happen.

Banishment. Death was too good for the last survivors.

I was made to suffer the most.

For my uprising, for the war I started I was given the worst punishment She could dream of. I was bound to the core of the Great Crystal, the nexus connecting the worlds and so it became a prison I could not escape. Trapped between the two worlds, belonging to neither but existing in both, I was restrained. The agony of being alone for so many years turned my heart sour, twisted and cold. Any compassion for others withered like a dying corpse, rancid and vile. Any fiend or creature that came near me in the Great Crystal was killed; I took a perverse pleasure in killing them, feeling the pain of their lives being crushed with my magics and my bare hands.

Yet even in my prison I was not spared by Her hatred. She had made sure I could see my love's terror. I was shown in my mind how He lived, how He raged and festered in seething bloody anger. The blood, the malformation, His screams and curses. I was subjected to His torture as well as my own. The only small pleasure I took, the last remnants of satisfaction that remained with me was that at the same moment as my imprisonment, I was able to dish out some punishment of my own.

The First's all mighty dominance over my kind and to those on Ivalice was halted. Not killed or defeated. Just set back. She and her children were sent into a prison of their own. Encrusted in a stone of pure nethicite, sedated and cut away from the waking world. But I knew not that it would be possible to free them, or even myself.

Now?

I am bound to another prison. A small puny Hume form that sickens me, but now begins to control me in ways I never thought possible. She grows stronger by the minute and I know the Goddess is responsible. The Dynast Queen has been changed, her mind corrupted and altered for she has seen my existence, the place of my creation. The Goddess may not have been able to take me, but her mind was all too easy. No Hume could endure our "home." It is a state of being that overwhelms and distorts. My host should have died, but I sense that she is being kept alive. Her thoughts are being blocked from me and I cannot read her as I was able to in the past. I have no power over her.

I know the First is responsible for this.

I only hear the Dynast Queen's desire to go back to my home as she mutters in her sleep.

To do so would surely mean her death. She mumbles about wanting to die rather than endure being on this world and I wish for it too. Only Zodiark keeps me from accepting such a death.

We are repulsed by this flesh and blood body; I cannot fathom how I have managed for this long. For more than a year now I have been inside this woman and it is so hard to endure something you detest. Hume feelings, Hume thoughts and Hume dreams entwined with my own, it is despicable.

But what was even worse, was that I was becoming something else, something other than me.

00000000000

Giruvegan - Year 707

I awoke to the sight of Vaya. Her pale white face peeked out from behind the stone statue of the Guardian and I could see her attempting to smile. Vaya eventually emerged from behind the lifeless statue and approached me. She leaned forward, her hands resting on her knees and those black eyes just glared at me, with a mix of menace and love.

"You're awake. Good. We don't have to wait around any more!"

The little girl held out her hand towards me, but I didn't want to take it. I didn't need any help, especially not from this creature. She may look like a six year old hume, but she was really more of my long years. Old and so dangerous.

Using the statue for support Ashe pulled us up and through her eyes I could see the ancient city. The many levels of pathways stretched off into the distance, above and below me and all around me, I could see that the city had changed greatly in millions of years. The people were gone, the spark of my light had faded.

I remembered. I recalled when the humes built this place. I remembered millions of people and so much light. Holy ebbed through everything here, this city was made from my essence and the humes had worshipped me. It was a time when I accepted their petty prayers to me. It was a time I tolerated these low lives, because of who I was. Now…there is no light here.

This city is dead, it has no purpose any more. The Daedalus will never come back to life and this once holy place will continue lie barren and wasted. Eventually there would be nothing left and no one will remember what this place was like or even what it was for.

"Come, sweet Angel."

Vaya was attempting to smile and be pleasant with it, but there wasn't even a slither of nicety inside her. She was the worst of two halves and was no child. I couldn't even sense any thing of a hume soul within her, just darkness. Just menace, cruelty and hate.

"We need to go home."

Home. The thought of it appealed and revolted me. I had been on this world and in this body for longer than I wanted and being reminded of my home made me long to return there. To be revived in body and spirit, it tempted me and drew me back, but I can't go. Not now. Not when the First was still in control and not without Zodiark.

"I'm ready to go in." Ashe turned round to face the Waystone and took small steps to approach it. She never looked up at Eri or Arla, she never even acknowledged the crippled child Emperor in his chair, her eyes, instead, fixated on the Waystone. Her hand was reaching out to touch it, almost reluctant at first but I could feel the warmth and power emanating from the device through her skin. This Waystone was one of the oldest on Ivalice, it had been here for eons and the transparent stone was as vibrant and strong now as it was then. It would need to be to take us to the Crystal.

"You are coming with us so willingly, Majesty?" Eri sidled up close to us, her face inches away from Ashe's, for I could feel her breath on Ashe's cheek. Even I hated such a feeling from this woman. Ashe held up her head and looked with disgust at Eri.

"I want to go back." she said, focusing hard on the Waystone again. Eri nodded and her hand extended up and pushed Ashe's hair behind her ear. In reflex Ashe grabbed hold of her hand. "Don't touch me. I don't like it."

"As you wish."

"I just want to get to the nexus as quickly as possible. So let's not wait any more."

There was a void between us. Ever since her Hume mind was given back, I have felt nothing from her. I cannot tell what she is going to do or what she is thinking and it infuriates me that I cannot assert myself over her. She was given the experience of my world and now her home feels dead as does her body. There isn't anything else that she wants, except to go back to the state she experienced.

I was not ready. To go back now, to have that feeling once again was luring, but I could not do this alone. I was not strong enough to defeat The Goddess. Only my Zodiark was. I would not do this without him.

I was helpless to do anything.

"I will not be idle any longer!" Ashe cried, after minutes of silence dragged on too long for her liking. Her head snapped up sharply, pulling the muscles of her neck, causing her to stumble. She fell against the child's chair making Larsa look up to her. He had been crying. His eyes were puffy and red and even his nose had that vile mucus dripping from it. Humes were disgusting. Yet Ashe looked away from him, no doubt thinking him worthless to her. The boy certainly wasn't important to me either, except my curiosity did wonder why they were bringing him along.

"We go! Now!" Ashe said again, more forcefully in her tone. Eri signalled to the lone Judge with a wave of her hand and the man then scooped Larsa out of the chair. The little boy barely had the strength or even the will to struggle. Eri then took hold of Vaya's hand and I saw the pained shiver that ran over the "mother's" body. Arla took up a position opposite, on the other side of the Waystone and held out both of her hands. The stone sensed all of our presence and began to pulse faster and brighter, building up the magic in preparation to teleport.

Everyone touched the Waystone and the ripples of energy flooded over us all.

Ashe gasped. Or was it me?

The feeling washing over me (us) of the ancient magic was wonderful. It was like a feeling of home, I could sense the vast dimensions beyond this place and I saw the colours and elements everywhere. It was bliss, I felt pure contentment as the warm breeze of energy penetrated every part of Ashe's body. Then we were ripped apart.

000000

Giruvegan - Year 706

"So. This is it."

Ashe looked at the Waystone and stepped forward into it's radius. Whilst the others all chatted excitedly about the prospects of this journey, she knew there was one who was different.

In fact he had been acting strange ever since the Henne mines.

"Basch?" Ashe lightly touched at his arm. He jerked away from her and he practically jumped in surprise. Basch was never one to be surprised so easily. "Is there something wrong?"

"Nay, princess." he replied, even though his face was belying his words. He was worried, very worried. "Only…that is has been a long time since I have seen this place."

None of that made sense to the princess. Basch hadn't been here before, no one has. Yet he had been the one who knew how to get into the ancient city, he even knew how to defeat the Daedalus…everything seemed familiar to him.

"I don't understand." said the princess, hoping to coax more information out of her stoic companion. Basch shook his head and his body shrugged as if he had just rid himself of an unpleasant thought.

"I have a feeling." he uttered. "Something will happen…soon."

"Something good, I hope." Ashe said giving his arm a gentle squeeze. Basch pulled away again, but the stare he gave back at her was most startling. His eyes flickered, a brief flash of black appeared for a moment and was gone with a couple of blinks. He moved away from her and edged closer to the stone.

Ashe heard him mutter strangely under his breath.

"Something will happen. Things will not be the same for us again."

000000

Giruvegan - Year 707

The memory surfaced in my mind. I felt her shiver.

We had materialized in the Trimahla Water-Steps. The bliss of the teleport faded and upon feeling the solid platform, I reacted to the new surroundings.

I began to feel stronger. In this place was my element, it was swamped with it and now the pure fumes of Holy mist penetrated the hume's body. It seeped in through the pores of her skin, she breathed it in and an elated surge of strength began to soar within us. Ashe took in deep long breaths and I thought she was savouring this glorious rush just as much as I was.

Had she just remembered that memory as we transported? Did she recall her perception of her knight's change? At that time no one had known that Zodiark shared Basch's body and it was because of him they were able to come here.

The air was thick and dense and the only light came from the green mist glow from beneath our feet. Ashe's eyes couldn't see that far in front, nor could the others, but I didn't need her eyes to know where to go.

Their little pathetic hume minds thought that this place was beneath the surface in Ivalice, constructed by powerful magics within the earth, but it was far from the truth. This is the real Giruvegan, a reality or dimension that combines both worlds. It is the in between place.

The Occuria's devise, Giruvegan is a maze of platforms and gates connected by green energy bridges, a maze at the centre of which was the crystal itself. I could not see it, but I felt it. It was impossible not to. The crystal was spewing out mist so thick I could taste in Ashe's mouth. I could distinguish all the elements…the burn of the fire, the coolness of the blizzards, the wetness of the water and shock of the lightening. I felt the void of the darkness…but my holy was more powerful, more concentrated and ripe.

For the first time, in so many long agonizing years, I felt like myself again.

I felt like the High Seraph.

"I feel strong." Ashe closed her eyes and clenched both of her hands tightly to her side. Her nails dug hard into her skin, drawing blood. The open wounds absorbed the potent magic in the air and an extra surge of power coursed through us. "I feel powerful."

Eri stood, once again, by Ashe's side. The Queen looked to the tall woman and I could see sadness and deep regret, only for a moment, in her eyes. I heard her whisper under her breath.

"I can't feel it anymore. There is nothing."

"You are nothing." Ashe responded, her voice oozing with spite. If I had my own face, I would have smiled at such a comment. Such a bitchy retort, but she meant it. Eri and her sister, they were just that.

There was a wail. The cry of an unearthly sound and when the Queen angled her head to see, there was Vaya, clinging to Arla with a tight grip around her legs. The girl was pale at the best of times, but now her face was so sullen and frail. Whatever flowed through her veins, if it was blood, it appeared drained. Her whole body was trembling, yet her hold on Arla was affecting her too. Eri's twin looked repulsed by the touch, but instead of pushing her away, she scooped the girl up into her arms.

"Eri! We go on! Now! Your child won't last long if we don't get to the crystal soon."

Eri rushed over and snatched Vaya from her sister's arms. The creature wrapped her own around her neck and her legs curled tightly around her waist and she allowed herself to be carried off down the ramp to the next level. The Judge, still carrying Larsa followed.

Both of us knew the reason for their haste. As the Queen and I became stronger with the saturated Holiness in the air, Vaya was crippled. It was sapping her dry, killing her.

Let her fucking die. I had no wish to rush. Vaya was stronger than her other half, more menacing than her sibling and to see her so pathetic and weak was a joy.

I attempted to regain some control over the Dynast Queen, to keep her still, but no amount of effort was succeeding. Her thoughts were quiet to me, silent. We were slowly being separated.

Humes were not supposed to hold an Esper's soul. With this merging, I could very well be dying, for good.

Ashe followed the others, keeping a distance, but matching their fast paces. I thought her wise to keep apart from them, for they were going to receive none of our protection.

The fiends were strong here, despite that they thrived in the darkness like Zodiark. Giruvegan was their hell. It agonized and incensed these creatures, keeping them alive even though they should be crisped carcasses on the ground. But here they were, suffering from the holy mist and the curses that would not let them die.

They sensed me.

As we progressed through Trimahla, I heard the heavy clomping movements of the Behemoths ahead and just below, the air rustled with the Gargoyles fleshy wings. The slopping tendrils of a couple of Vivians also sounded nearby and their fetid stench assaulted Ashe's nostrils that she almost gagged. Her hand covered her nose and mouth but she needed to only take a couple of steps to her right. The edge of the platform wasn't quite visible through the thick mist, but by just us moving there, it was enough to make the repulsing things howl and screech, backing away from us.

Upon the next level, the two behemoths emerged from the thick mist, their headless deformed bodies slow with their thumping steps. They approached Eri and the others, unafraid and hungry to kill something other than other fiends. Yet upon getting within inches of Eri..they paused. If they had eyes they would have been staring at the woman and the thing in her arms. If they had noses they would have sniffed the air and smelt the bizarre scents wafting from the twin women. The Behemoths still moved forward and both Arla and the Judge pulled their weapons out from the folds of their warm coats.

Then even the Gargoyles began to make their way up from below. Their cackling and screeching soon sounded above our heads and I heard the furious clang of their spears.

Whilst they were repulsed from me and Ashe…they were no doubt drawn to the scent on the two women. They knew that the women had experienced the dark and that it had once flowed inside of them both. After all Vayakalan had been in their lives and they reeked of the Black that their precious "daughter" left behind.

They were weak here, so let these fiends pick them apart. Let them fucking die.

"Ashelia!"

The boy was struggling in the Judge's arm. He caught the Queen's gaze and was pleading for her to do something. Arla and the Judge had taken a position in front of Eri and Vaya, ready to defend them, but now the fiends had completely encompassed them. They ignored Ashelia as we stood on the ramp, watching. Waiting.

"Ashe!" The boy cripple pleaded and begged. "Please!"

No. They could all die. We don't need any of them. With them being shredded up for fiend fodder, I may be able try and regain control.

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Giruvegan - Year 706

"Ashe! Please! We have to get out of here! Basch won't last much longer!"

Please. Please let him be all right.

Ashe turned for a moment as Balthier and Vaan tried to half carry and half drag the tall weakened man along. But the constant attacks from the fiends were slowing them up and wasting more precious seconds. But Ashe worried. As she hacked off the Gargoyle's head with a clean swipe of her sword, she saw the rest of the pack swarming towards Basch. Just like all the other attacks, the beasts honed in on him, so it was up to her Fran and Penelo to keep them away from the men.

"Why are they going after him?!" cried Ashe, ducking as one of Fran's arrows flew over her head. The arrow imbedded into the Vivian and at last the thing exploded from her handcrafted Blessed ammunition.

"I don't know!" Penelo grunted hard as her katana thrusted with a bloody squelch through the giant Behemoth. Her face was sprayed by it's blood, but she quickly took out the sword and gave the corpse a gentle push to help it fall on the ground.

"Princess…." Basch's weak voice sounded horrible. He was coughing and spluttering on something and he looked so pale. Basch couldn't stand, he could barely open his eyes. He looked like death. "Leave me…please. They're only after me."

"Picking off the weak members of the pack, I presume." moaned Balthier hefting some of Basch's weight around his shoulder. "I don't blame them.

"We are not leaving him!!" Ashe ordered, her sword swiping round and stopping within inches of Balthier's throat. "Is that clear?!"

"Perfectly." Balthier nodded and gulped. He and Vaan then adjusted Basch's limp form in their hold and quickened their pace. The fiend's attacks increased as they tried to flee.

Basch. I won't let you go. Not after everything that's happened. I won't lose you again.

"Ashe…please! Let me die."

000000

Giruvegan - Year 707

Another memory flashed clearly in my mind, so intense that it made both of us sway with dizziness.

"Not him! Don't take him! Not here, not now!"

The Queen's thoughts! I heard them! I felt panic and desperation from deep within her, screaming with confusion from the recollection of the memory. There was anger swelling up, she was so livid it was making me reel with shock. I had heard her, the hume's defences were snapping and I had damned well heard her thoughts!

"NO!"

Ashe was swept along with chaotic emotions, she was furious and so she rushed forwards. She stormed angrily towards the fiends and I felt in the soles of her feet, the ignition of my powers. A wind whipped like a cyclone around us and her eyes burned as if molten lava had been poured into her sockets. My magic was raging, forming bright tendrils around her body and building up into white flame balls in the palm of her hands. There was screaming.

SHE had tapped into my powers?! No! No damned hume bitch can use my magics! This is impossible, she can't be doing this! This horrible stupid shell of mine was using what I could not!

The build up was reaching it's breaking point, our surroundings were being pulverized by the storm still raging around us, but Ashe didn't need to release the full blows. The whirlwind of my power was enough to pick the fiends up and send them flying off into the dark abyss below, screaming and howling. Their piercing cries and the winds of Holy roared with deafening volumes, but when it died down the void and silence was vile.

As the faze and twang of agony cleared, Ashe's eyes latched onto those of the young invalid. The boy had stopped crying and was looking with shock and astonishment at us. His mouth was trying to speak, but the words would not come out.

"Are you waiting for anything else?" sneered Ashe, the tips of fingers only crackling with faint white sparks. The Emperor was utterly devastated by the Queen's harsh words, he just couldn't believe that she would treat him like that. "Oh please, spare me your inane childish drivel. It sickens me!"

Aw…was the little boy going to cry again?

Ashe spared no more attention towards him and walked on, caring not if the others followed.

During the traipse through Trimahla, the beasts left us alone, scurrying away like frightened rodents with our presence. The gates were of little consequence, even the Golem guardians were as threatening as a dust particle glinting in the light.

Yet it was in Aadlha that gave us cause for concern.

What? No, what was I thinking?! It gave Vaya an agonizing volatile fit and I was in a state of joy because of it. The Diakon Entite had appeared out of no where. Vaya's screaming was like music, a wonderful cacophony of unearthly howls that I had wished on her for so long. Even Ashe's mouth curled up into a smile. Yet when the giant orb of Holy enveloped us, the crackling buzz, the euphoric high made her whole body throb with a (oh what sweet heaven is this??) sensation that sent me to the brink of pleasure and straight to the ground.

The Entite didn't stay in one place. As a being only driven by instinct, the Diakon absorbed the Holy in the air and then proceeded to float away from us in search of more food. The come down from the pleasure was a shock to her system, the queen's deep long gasping breaths panted and heaved so much that I felt a searing stitching pain in her side. During the time I had been inside this young thing, I had never experienced anything like this. Or had I simply not even noticed how she had reacted to certain hume stimulus? Whatever it was, never had the warmth and pulsing envelopment of the Diakon made me feel in such a way. I was wishing for it back, I wished that it was able to understand me and come back at my call, but instead it bobbed away, clueless to the wants of others. Stupid fucking thing.

"MOVE!" Eri's voice screamed through my revelry and then I felt a hand dragging us up. We stumbled, Ashe's small feet tripping several times before finding the ground. "I will not let this place be the death of her!"

A cluster of Ashe's hair was wrenched, snapping her head back so sharply that pain ripped down her neck and shoulder. A tiny sharp piece of metal jabbed right at Ashe's neck and her skin was nicked, dripping blood.

"I would do as she says." Arla edged the knife closer to her ear and gave us a quick sharp shove.

"How about I stick that blade in your gut?" Ashe spat between her heaving breaths.

The Queen's ruckus laughter was so sweet to hear! I could have been laughing with her at the sight of Arla's angry glare, for I could picture so clearly as to how I would turn that blade round and jam it right in the middle of her belly. Different scenarios played out before me, visions of how I would gain advantage of the he knife and where it would pierce, flashed in my mind. I saw it over and over again, but the results were different, sticking out from that bitch's thrashing bloodied corpse.

It cracked in the centre of that smug fucking face, the blood oozing down, choking and drooling from her mouth. I lunged it in her chest, tearing at her breasts, ripping them clean off and feeling the spray like a delicate shower against Ashe's skin. The blade went in every possible place, her thigh, her shoulder, back, abdomen…they all played out inside this hume head and it was so beautiful!

Instead, Ashe just allowed herself to be shoved forwards by the woman and it was us who now lead the way through Aadlha. Vaya still screamed, so the pace quickened, the sheer downward slopes of this turning maze only made it more so and it wasn't long before the Great Crystal itself appeared in the distance.

The fog of the mist was clearing and as it did so, light from the crystal pulsed brightly like a star. The endless swirls of illuminating dust spiralled in great arcs around us, dancing and flitting as each tiny spec was alive. There was beauty in the nexus, but through Ashe's eyes I only saw my prison. The crystal was the constant reminder of what I had gone through and that I was becoming everything that I hated. I was becoming frail and weak. I was becoming hume with every breath taken from her lungs.

Traversing over the abyss towards Haalmikah, a cool breeze wafted over us, whipping up that damned Queen's hair into her face. Vaya's screams seemed to die down into whimpering moans and Ashe slowly turned round. Her hand pulled her hair out of her face, the most lush and evilest of smiles crept upon her lips.

"She's not dead yet then." she whispered.

"We're almost there, Vaya." Eri stroked at the epser's jet black hair, her hand shivering, her skin a slight blueish tinge due to the woman's skin. "It won't be long now."

She wasn't wrong. Eventually, we reached the giant doors of Bulwark Chronos. Going through into the centre chamber gave a brief respite. It was enclosed away from the rest of the maze but Eri was having no time wasted. Arla again shoved us forward even though there was no need for it.

"Don't touch me!" Ashe whipped her hand round, her fingers clawed and scratched four beautiful long red gashes across woman's face.

It was then I saw for the first time, a completely different look in this twin. I had always thought there was something strange about her, even when she was in Ashe's employ, but now it was a clear as a bright cloud free day. There was a madness inside her. It was a kind that was only caused by the raping of one's soul, of tearing up the head and leaving behind a very special crazy. How had she managed to seem so sane?

As the blood dripped down Ari's face, it looked as if she was about to retaliate. In fact she held up the knife and went to nick the Queen once again, but Ashe was quick. Her fist cracked into Ari's jaw, sending the woman down to the cold ground with a thud.

"I said don't fucking touch me!" Ashe spat with bile onto Arla. "It is disgusting!"

The older woman reacted instantly. There was black in her eyes for the hatred took over. Arla lunged to her feet and instead of the knife, from the folds of her long red coat, she drew out her sword.

"ARLA! We have no time for this!" Eri cried.

"Look what she did to me!" Ari wasn't having anything, she refused to calm, so instead she walked over to the Judge and snatched Larsa from the man's hold. The boy cripple struggled, his one leg trying to kick at the woman as she dragged him across the ground and held the blade of her sword to his remaining limb. "Right, this little brat is going to lose his other leg!"

"ASHE!"

The boy was so scared. He was actually afraid, the tears streamed down his face and he was trying so hard to get away from Arla. He wriggled and pulled, he screamed to be released but Arla's grip around his wrist wouldn't let go. I felt something that I never planned to feel, ever again. It churned inside Ashe's stomach like bad food poisoning. Compassion. I actually felt sorry for the little shit. However, Ashe had no such qualms.

"Go ahead, take his leg." The Queen waved a dismissive hand and walked over to the large doors of Bulwark Hemera.

"ASHELIA!" Larsa was terrified, he was thrashing as much as he could, crying almost as much as Vaya had been. This boy had been so composed before, he had held himself as only a true noble Archadian could do. Now he was a mess, he was scared, he was a normal frightened thirteen year old boy. A boy whose friend and ally had forgotten who he was and no longer cared if he lived or died. Ashe didn't want to listen to him further, nor was she phased by Arla's insane attempts at retribution.

"For the sake of the gods, shut up!!" yelled Arla, throwing the boy back to the Judge. Larsa skidded across the floor and thumped against the Judge's metal legs.

Eri was furious, but she wasn't going to wait for Arla's tantrum to die down, or for Larsa to stop crying. She, just like Ashe was in a hurry.

Ashelia pushed open the doors and before us the Hall Of Fire was revealed.

This place certainly hadn't changed. Time couldn't make a dent in it.

There was not a single blemish on the emerald tainted platform, it looked as new as when it had been first created. It was here that the dust looked like flames, igniting the air around us and exploding with an intensity that I found truly captivating. As my host forged on, her footsteps echoing like musical vibrations, all I could think of were the what ifs any maybes.

What if I had been permitted to be with Zodiark? We would still have our own bodies, experiencing our world for our long lives, happy. I have not been happy for ages. I want to feel that again.

So now, as we stand on the very edge, facing the crystal with its blinding visage, I found myself wishing (perhaps even praying?) that I could cross over. But as always, my reasoning told me that I could not. I would not turn back to Her.

"When you're ready, Your Highness." Arla held out her hand towards the open vastness. Next to her Eri was shivering with her "child" in her arms. Vaya's moans had become silent, but her black eyes were open and were looking round at the crystal in hope. Already she was beginning to look stronger.

Ashe went to step out into nothing. But she paused.

It was not because of second thoughts or doubts. Her heart was racing with excitement, thumping hard against her chest, but I knew she did not want to be here. She just had to carry on.

Again I tried to stay her, to make her turn around and walk back out to the Haalmikah. I tried to make her realise what it was that she really needed. What we both could not be without.

"Your Hume Knight. Basch. He is what you want and what you need. My Zodiark! For the sake of both of them, don't throw them away like this because of what SHE showed you!"

"Basch?"

00000000

Giruvegan - Year 706

The other four stood at a respectable distance, caught up in their own astonishment at the looming structure before them. Ashe however was doing her best to hold up her guardian, who was still very weak. Entering into the Hall Of Fire had given him new strength, he was just able to walk by himself, but occasionally he would stumble and someone would always grab him to prevent his fall. This time, at the very edge, it was She who supported him. It was Ashe who had to aid him. Yet, Basch was so focused, determined and in his eyes there was a new look of confidence.

"There's the way forward, highness." his voice grumbled, rougher and deeper than usual. "You are certain you want to do this?"

Ashe became lost in the sight of the crystal, entranced like the others, amazed that such a thing could exist.

"You said this was important, Basch. If you say it is so, then I believe you. I trust you."

"You say that as if you mean it, princess." he said bowing his head. He swayed a little, but Ashe grabbed hold of his arm and steadied his still weak frame. She felt him flinch.

"I do mean it, Basch." Ashe's voice softened and she too bowed her head to look at the blackness below. "I was wrong to have doubted you. I would not be here without your help. I'm not looking back now, nor will I let you have suffered Giruvegan just to give up. Basch…thank you. So much."

Basch could not reply, for the words that had come from his princess' mouth did more for him than she could have ever imagined.

"Then…we shall go on."

Ashe released her hold on him when he wriggled, a sign he wanted to cross by himself. He rose up to his full height, stretching his back and looking absolutely determined. Ashe and Basch exchanged a look, a look that both shared their hopes for Dalmasca's uncertain future.

They stepped off the edge together.

00000000

Giruvegan - Year 707

The hue of green flashed into existence as Ashe's feet touched down through the air. The magical mist formed a physical path to support us, throbbing and humming with each step we took. The closer the crystal got, the more the strength in me waned. I was returning to my cage, my prison and naturally it would be making me weak again.

The journey across took a long while, but then it would for these humes, who needed the ground to walk upon. In my form, I never required such restrictions, yet now I had to endure them. Though there was a physical presence of this path, it wasn't as solid as the earth. There was a bouncing motion to it, the vibrations sung off ethereal notes under the weight of those travelling over it.

When we stood within touching distance of the crystal and the second Waystone Ashe finally calmed herself down. Her breathing slowed and her gaze was fixated on the rough jagged edges of the crystal. It was too warm now, sweat was pouring off us both and so Ashe slipped off the long white coat that had been so tightly wrapped round her.

"Are you feeling good about this?"

Ashe never turned at the sound of Arla's voice next to her. Neither of us wanted to listen to anything that insane woman wanted to say. Instead Ashe reached out and pressed her palm against the crystal. A shock almost like electricity crackled through her hand, up her arm and into her head. Instinctively she pulled away, but the feeling, the sensation of the shock had left the both of us, with a wonderful dizzy high.

"Is this what you expected?" Arla asked, stepping right up close to Ashe. She was chuckling at the way Ashe was still swaying from the contact with the crystal. But when the pleasant haze cleared, Ashe turned round and all we could see were the nail marks on Arla's cheek and the blood still dripping red crimson droplets all down her neck and on her clothes.

"From you?" Ashe responded, looking at the woman's lovely new wounds with a small smile at the corner of her lips.

"Didn't think I would betray you? After all my years of service to you and your family?"

"No." Ashe turned away from her and faced Eri and her daughter. Vaya was standing like a statue, those black soulless eyes looking back at us with menace. "I just don't want to hear that crap come from your mouth. So shut it and keep away from me!"

"You think you are so perfect, Asheila?" Arla grabbed hold Ashe's arm and spun us both around. The Queen's reaction was to lash out again, but Arla managed to lean back and avoid her angry claws.

"LET GO!" Ashe screamed.

"Just because you are the Queen, do you really think you deserve Ultima?!" The woman was seriously on the verge of some kind of mental breakdown, judging by the way her face was contorted with jealous rage. "How were you able to defeat her?"

"Arla! Not now!" Eri snapped, but her twin didn't listen. It seemed Ashe's Lady-In-Waiting was more than incensed. I saw in the woman's eyes what I had felt for years. Insanity. There was a craze, finally released after the pretence of sanity gave up. It had been festering for so long that this woman couldn't handle anything anymore. That and the jealousy. There was green envy and jealous rage along with that insanity as well. This woman had some serious issues.

"I need to know why this girl has Her and not me!" Arla's hand squeezed harder on Ashe's arm.

"Because I am better than you!" Ashe sneered. I felt her eyes beginning to burn, the holy magics that were normally at my control, were now surging up to the surface once again. The blaze of white mist flowed like smoke from her eyes and they too twisted into tendrils around her head, shoulders and arms. Arla was however, unafraid. I think being really fucked up crazy might do that to a person. This woman was more than just mad.

"Do you know what?" Arla still resisted the mist magics and smiled "I cannot bare waiting any more. I was told that I would be host to the Angel, but you somehow knew how to take her away from me. How? Why?"

"Shut up!" Ashe shoved Arla back, and I could feel her face contort with seething hatred. "Shut the hell up!! I hate it!! I cannot stand your voice..your sounds!! Shut the hell up!!"

It seemed that Arla wasn't the only one who was going insane. Having been to my world, Ashe's mind clearly couldn't cope with coming back to her own. The sensations are no doubt horrible and alien to her. When you have experienced something as blissful and heavenly as my home, anything after that would feel so harsh and unreal. So now, this woman couldn't bare this place, she didn't want this body any more than I did. It would be difficult to convince her to stay.

Vaya approached us. Her head was shaking in long slow movements, making her thick black hair hang like dregs over her face. Was she in some kind of drugged up high, swaying like that? Her eyes peeked out from behind her tattered bangs and she smiled.

"Arla has a valid point, Angel" Vaya said softly, approaching the crystal and pressing her fingertips against the rough surface. She was smiling now, the crackling energies of the crystal igniting and sparking around her fingers. Then there was a strange sound. Was she trying to laugh? It might have been mistaken as one. "Hmm!! The crystal tickles! It's funny!"

"Who are you?" Ashe sneered.

She didn't know?

Well, the women hadn't exactly explained anything to us, but I knew, if only a little who was in the child's body.

I had known this being as Vayakalan, a thing of darkness, created from the very same as Zodiark. But created wrong.

Two distinct minds in the form of a creature so vile that even the goddess who created them wanted them destroyed. But the First had said no. She had been fascinated by them and had decided to keep them as Her own guards. Her protectors.

But these things were unpredictable and the First soon grew tired as their irrationality plagued Her. She had instead replaced them with someone even stronger. Zodiark.

I don't know what happened to Vayakalan during the war, but all that I can recall was they were angry and that anger was focused on their younger sibling. Their brother.

Yet there was something that worried me immensely. Never had I seen VayaKalan separated before, I didn't think it possible, but those two hume children were hosting the bastards. What had separated them?

"This was planned long ago." said Eri coming up behind her daughter. Vaya clutched on to her mother's hand and held it against her shoulder. "When the First was sent to her slumber…Vayakalan did the only thing they knew how. The only thing they could do. They made the ultimate sacrifice."

"We didn't want too." Vaya's nose crinkled up with disgust. "But it was the only way to get back our Goddess and to give Her the Angel. If we did that, if we were the ones responsible for releasing our mistress' love…She would accept us once more!"

Eri released her hand and looked up at the crystal. I saw her shiver again, a flush of paleness on her skin, despite the atmosphere being so hot and humid. She wanted to be both near and distant from Vaya, but there was also something else. Whilst Arla was clearly unable to control herself any more, this twin was too calm. She had been momentarily distressed by her daughter, but such a thing was to be expected from my kind. Eri Cellen was too composed. Though she was hume, this Judge woman had a coldness to her that was too similar to my kin.

"Do you really want to know?" Eri smiled, and like her daughter's.. it didn't have any sentiment or warmth to it. "It was my father who found them and allowed us to put all this into motion. It hadn't quite gone to plan…so many changes had to be made over the years, but we're here now and we are going to the nexus and take you back. Surely you don't want any more delays, Highness?"

"Eri….!"

Arla was wanting answers too, more so from how I had come to be in Ashe's body. I was supposed to be for her? Thank hell I hadn't. I never wanted to be in that loon!

"I said now is not the time, Arla!" Eri said sternly. "It is not my fault that you could not accept any of them. Nor is it my fault that the Dynast Queen took Ultima. I don't think any of it matters now…because we're going in. We're taking Ultima back home."

"What about me?"

The cripple boy actually said something. The Judge who was still carrying him jolted him sharply in his hold, but Larsa just scoffed the harsh poke and looked right at Eri.

"Why am I here? Am I that important?"

He was insurance. The boy was brought along to make sure of compliance, it was all too clear now. Ashe wasn't going against them, but if there was any possibility of her changing her mind, of feeling again, then all they would need to do was threaten him. I doubt that it would be possible, Larsa was the last thing that Ashe wanted to care about. All that she wanted was to go back to the bliss that she had been given. It was then up to me to make her see differently. I had to convince her.

How?

"You will have your use, sire." Eri said to Larsa. "Eventually."

As they all gathered round the Waystone, the ladies rid themselves of their coats and prepared to touch it and activate the transport. Arla was getting extremely impatient, she was wanting badly to get the information from Ashe, her fist clenching and flexing with frustration. There were too many questions to have answered, but was it only me, the little Emperor boy and the crazy woman who wanted it?

We would be going to the crystal. There was no stopping that, but once we reached the core I would have no choice but to go back to the First.

I was more than desperate now. I had to get control over Ashe and pull her out of this madness, but I had no idea what would accomplish this. What could make her notice?

If I could not convince the hume woman by the time we got to the core then everything Zodiark and I have suffered would be for naught. Ashe had control over my powers, but does that mean I have any kind of influence over her? I had heard nothing from her except experiencing that memory. Could I use those memories to remind her of what she would be losing?

Shit..that wouldn't work. I have no power over her.

She is Queen…her world is dying, her people are dying. Ivalice is crumbling to pieces under the First's power and they don't mean anything to her? Her "friends"…Her knight? Would she not do anything?

Not in this condition. Not when her mind is so messed up.

Uggh, I have to do something. I have to save her, in order to save myself.

It all seemed so hopeless.

All the hands extended. Tips brushed lightly against the Waystone and once again we were transported, ripped apart and sent directly inside.

This time it was more like burning. The fire of the Ancient Crystal Nexus was so hot, that once we materialized, the intensity of both the light and the heat dragged the normal humes down to their knees. It was so hot here, I hadn't forgotten just how intense it was, but Ashe was still on her feet. So too was Vaya. She was now back to her full self again. She was strong.

"So…we're here, Angel." The girl approached us and held her hands behind her back. "Soon everything will be as it was. We can all go home!"

I had to try. I had to do something. But already, the Queen was heading off to one of the opened sections of the ringed platform. She wasn't going to wait for anyone.

I concentrated. I worked hard, thinking of the few brief memories and thoughts I had managed to get from her past before this all happened. I forced myself to delve past the blocks that separated our minds, but nothing was working.

"Don't try, my sweet. She won't hear you, or listen."

NO!

That voice in my head, She was trying to talk to me? I refuse to listen to that thing, I won't give into her! That bitch will not sway me!

Ashe staggered, her hands reaching out to steady us on the railings. She looked round, her eyes blurring from the humidity that hung in this mist dense air. All around us both, were the walls of the A Vikaari Dhebon chamber, bright and radiating. This was only just one of the many giant caverns within the crystal and it was the start of a long journey towards the centre. We would have to pass through numerous gates and fiends to get there, but unlike the mere mortals, we would not get lost. I knew and so did Vaya, where to go.

"Ultima..you can't fight me any more. I've made this hume have control, I've made it impossible for you to prevent your homecoming. Just accept me now, come to me and embrace me as you should!"

NO! NO! I WON'T!

Think dammit! Remember, Ashelia! Please…don't let it end like this!

I was going crazy, I wanted so badly to kill them all. The lust for rage and death overcame me but still I could not act upon it, or release my frustrations.

"Ultima…pretty angel. We can be together again…all of us. You and the Goddess, side by side and with Vayakalan at your feet…always protecting you…always your loyal servants."

Vaya's hand latched onto the material of Ashe's dress and her head tilted to one side. The touch was cold, a shivering breeze drifted up our arm, but not a pleasant one. It would have been a very welcome sensation in this blistering heat, but the body recoiled and tugged to free from such a grasp. Even I felt horrified at her touch.

No. I would not let myself be like this, I will not let this happen!

"Believe what you will, my love. You are mine…"

I don't belong to her!!

Zodiark was alive. He was alive, I heard them say and that gave me great hope. Even in the hume form…I knew that being free from his prison, nothing would stop him from coming after me. I just hope that he would be in time.

As much as I hated being defenceless and helpless, as much as I wanted to get myself out of this without help…Zodiark was the only one.

My soul mate, my love…

"He won't help you, Ultima…The woman won't let him. She will kill them both and there is nothing else you can do. So why don't you just come back to me?"

Because when I'm back, when I'm so fucking miserable and sapped of all my purpose, I know that you will destroy Ivalice. You will utterly decimate it and Zodiark will die along with them. You won't hesitate to dispose of him when I'm with you.

So I do this for him.

0000000000

The Edge Of Reason - Feywood - Year 706

The princess' body finally woke up. The bitter coldness stung hard against the skin and her breath fogged with every exhalation. Breath…skin. This body and frame, this existence…what was the point to it? I hated everything about this shell, it was too constricting and its feelings were limited. There was so much missing that I despaired. The humes couldn't do anything.

Walking…I had to learn to walk! ARGH! I had to put one foot in front of the other, keep my balance, I even had to be aware of the snowy ground I stood upon. One misstep and this stupid little thing would fall over and break.

"You are thinking the same thing?"

"I think I may be sick."

I turned round and saw him leaning against one of the tall pillars of the alter. I still couldn't believe that He was in there, for his host was a huge disappointment compared to what He had been. He wasn't tall enough, his skin tone was the wrong colour and his hair was far too long. There was no greatness about this hume man.

"I am disgusting." I said.

My body was no better.

"To me…you are never disgusting."

"You do know how to please a woman, don't you?"

Zodiark shrugged his host's shoulders and smiled. A smile on a hume's face looked deformed, but I supposed that it improved the man's appearance a little.

"You are wrong, though. These bodies are putrid, I hate everything about them. I hate having to speak using words…I hate how little this hume girl can do and how I feel inside her. The touch…the smells….the fact that she needs to bloody well sleep! Everything is hideous, Zodiark!"

"But we are here, Ultima! We're together!"

Zodiark extended the gloved hand out towards me and He lifted the princess' hand. Both of us grimaced. The touch was not pleasant, it felt wrong and I pulled away quickly.

"Let's not do THAT again." He said pulling the blanket around the broad Hume shoulders. The feeble coverings didn't offer him any kind of protection against this weather. But if we had been in our normal bodies, the weather would not have affected us. Another wretched frailty of the Hume form. Zodiark cussed under his breath. "Fucking stupid hume senses!"

"I would prefer to continue on without touching anything." I said crossing the arms across the sticky out chest. We both stared out to the blizzard, making out only the faint shadows of the fiends that were foolish enough to be out here. "I hate this, Zodiark…I hate not being able to touch you with my own hands…why did we have to do it? WHY are we in these hideous disgusting shells?"

"It was the only way to be free, Ultima."

"So we swapped one prison for another?" the tone of my host's voice sharpened along with my anger.

"But we are together!! We no longer have to be apart!"

"We ARE apart! I can't touch you looking and feeling like this! It's disgusting! How can we be together when we can't bare the sight of each other?"

There was a grunting noise and a snort and we both looked over to where the other companions were snuggled up close by the fire. The little blonde male was still making those irritating noises with his nose and mouth, even when he jolted up right. Sitting up, his head flopped to the side but his eyes were still closed. The noises intensified.

"Let me fucking shut him up." Zodiark growled, flexing his large hand. "I can snap his neck and then at last there will be silence."

"If its not him making those noises in his sleep, then it's the pirate doing the same! Its also the Viera and those disgusting nibbling sounds she does when she eats! Everything they do is annoying! Will you kill them all?"

"If it will please you, my love." Zodiark walked over to me and leaned in close. For a moment it looked as if he was going to kiss me. His lips were that close to mine that I desperately wanted to kiss him. To do anything to him. It had been so long that we had been without each other's embrace, that the desperation nearly won out. But we could never do what we once revelled in. These bodies were incapable of it.

"I wish you would."

"But?"

"But unfortunately…we still have to rely on them to help us achieve our goal."

"That is what She said. The Princess will show us the way forward. If we are to ever get home, if we are to ever kill that bitch who did this to us, then we have to let them do what they must."

"And that means?"

I couldn't help but smile. Zodiark was still so young at heart, even his host was now given that youthful muster. Zodiark sighed, a little disappointed.

"That means, no killing the annoying humes." He droaned.

"After wards though. We can kill them all afterwards."

"Can I not maime one of them? Just a little bit?"

"Zodiark…."

"Maybe I'll just cut his tongue off?"

Very childish, but he had always been like this.

I shook my new head and walked back to the small bedroll that the princess had been sleeping on. The little hume boy had gone back down to his laying position, though unfortunately he never stopped his grunting noises. The girl next to him elbowed him as she slept and his guttural sounds paused for a moment giving me and Zodiark the chance to settle down ourselves. He had moved his bedroll closer to mine and I heard him curse and swear as he tried to find the most comfortable position to lay in.

"Ultima…"

"Don't worry, Zodiark. We'll go to sleep and let the princess do her thing. Then we will get to go home. It won't be long now."

I closed the princess' eyes and tried to drift off. Unfortunately, I had no idea that it would be almost another entire year before I could resurface.