Hello people! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update! I've been having some personal troubles these days so I haven't been able to write for a while. I have another week before school starts to finish this story so I'll try to update as soon as I can! Thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chapter! You guys helped me make beyond my two hundred so thanks a mil! Thank you for all the Favorite Stories and Favorite Authors I've been getting! You have no idea how much it means to me! I have almost 6000 hits for this story and already 230 people reading! So thanks guys for sticking with this story and I promise I'll update as soon as I can and as long as I get at least twelve reviews! So now, I'll let you go ahead and read…
And now the drama continues….*mooooooooooo mooooooooooooo*
Disclaimer:
Me: I own Twilight
Jacob: Really? Cool
Me: Ugh… no you stupid mutt I don't own Twilight!
Jacob: Really? But your name is Stephenie! So you must own Twilight!
Me: Yeah, my name is Stephanie but spelt with an A not an E. Get it?
Jacob: Nope I still think you own Twilight.
Me: Okay, to convince you, do I look Stephenie Meyer?
Jacob: *mouth open* Uhhhhhh…..no
Me: Do I sound like Stephenie Meyer?
Jacob: Ummm….no?
Me: Do I look as if I would have let you live in the book?
Jacob: Errr….I'm guessing the answer is no?
Me: Yeah you're right. Now lights out *hits him with a club on his head*
*Jacob falls unconscious*
Edward: *examines Jacob* Very good work, Steph
Me: I know. I'm good aren't I? You think Bella would be mad?
Bella: Heck no! I hate him just as much as you!
Edward: Then why'd you kiss him in the third book?
Bella: Edward, not this again….
Me: * looks uncomfortable* Um…. 'kay then kiddies, I'm off to break the news to Reneesme! *runs away*
Edward: Aw look what you did now! I should have married her!
Bella: Oh no you didn't!
Edward: I'm guessing I'm in trouble now…
Bella: You have no idea how much….
$~*^*~$
Chapter Sixteen
"Bella?" Edward said again, "where are you?" His voice sounded anxious and worried. "Are you okay? Alice and I have been going mad looking for you. She said you were supposed to meet her here an hour ago. Where are you?" he asked again.
"Um…Edward, I'm-I'm at home," I lied, stuttering over my words.
I know I should have told him the truth. I know I should've told him I was with Demetri. But I couldn't. I remembered his words at the ball the night before and I chickened out. I couldn't tell him I was with Demetri. Then he might get mad and ask me questions. Why would I go? Why didn't I tell him? Then those questions might've led to something else; the big question I didn't want to answer. Did I still have feelings for Demetri? Did I love him? Was that why I hadn't thought of Edward whilst with Demetri? I mean, Edward knew I didn't love Demetri when we were together but he also knew that the night before when he found us in the garden, we had indeed been about to kiss. He had believed what I said when I told his that nothing would've probably happened but there had been something in his eyes that had told me that he didn't believe that to be wholly true. I could have told that he was suspicious. Had he asked that question, I knew I wouldn't have been able to answer. That, in itself, would have hurt Edward.
I couldn't do that to Edward. I couldn't hurt him. I loved him, with all my heart and that much I knew. But as for Demetri…I had no clue of what I felt there. Seeing him after so long had stirred something inside of me. What it was, I didn't know. But whatever it was, I knew I was afraid of it. What would happen if it was love? Demetri would be happy of course but Edward…he'd be devastated. He loved me just as much as I loved him and I knew that if he told me that he loved or had cheated on me with another girl, I would be so torn, so broken that I wouldn't want to live anymore. I knew Edward would probably feel the same. I couldn't do that to him; I couldn't inflict that type of pain, that type of agony. Everything I felt for Demetri, it was a betrayal towards Edward and I knew it. I couldn't tell him that I had been with Demetri whilst he was worrying about me. It would hurt him. Why tell him something that might hurt him so much? Besides, he may never have to know about it.
I focused on what he was saying next. "But we called there Bella. Why didn't you answer your phone? We called the cell first and then when we couldn't get through we tried the home number but we got no answer. What happened?" he asked sounding upset.
I felt so guilty for the next lie I told. "Oh I was in the pool with my iPod in my ears so I guess I didn't hear the phone ringing…" I lied feebly. "I'm so sorry Ed," I apologized, secretly meaning for lying to him. "I'm sorry for making you worried, love." I used his pet name for me to try to validate my lie a little more. Tears stung my eyes as I felt the guilt pile up more and more.
He exhaled, relieved, "Oh thank god, for a moment I was so worried that Jacob had gotten to you again."
I never felt so guilty in my life and the tears in my eyes flowed freely. "Sorry," I said, again, "I'll be right over."
"Sure thing," he said back to his old happy-go-lucky self, "I'll tell Alice I found you. Love you. See ya soon."
"I love you too, bye," I said as I hung up the phone. I sniffled and leaned against the wall. Luckily it was deserted so no one saw me. I slid down to the floor and hugged my knees. My stomach was overflowing with guilt. I wanted to kill myself for lying to Edward. I began to cry as I rethought our conversation. He had been so concerned for me, so anxious to make sure I was all right when I had forgotten about him. What had made everything worse was how easily he had believed me. He trusted me so much…and yet I went and forgot all about him when spending time with Demetri. I was a horrible girlfriend. Wait, fiancée, I remembered. That made me cry even harder. I felt so terrible for this. I was the worst person in the world, I was sure of it.
"Bella," I heard a voice whisper and my tear-streaked face snapped up. I groaned inwardly as I saw who it was. Demetri. Of course.
"Bella," he said again and he slid down and sat next to me. "What's wrong?" he asked, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders. Despite my mental protest, I felt my body lean into the contact. I wiped away my tears quickly.
"Um nothing," I said hastily. He looked at me and wiped a tear off my face, one that I had missed.
"Nothing indeed," he commented examining the droplet of water. He grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him, right into his deep pools of sapphire. They twinkled with some unknown emotion as they took in my appearance. "Now, Bella," he said his voice ringing with condescendence, "you do know that I know you much better than that to know that something is very wrong right now otherwise you wouldn't be here, pouring your eyes out. Now, tell Dr. D what's wrong."
I turned myself away from him and stood up. "Well, Dr. D, I'm sorry but I'm afraid that there's nothing to tell."
He shook his head. "Really Bella, really?" he imitated that annoying yet cute guy from Sonny with a Chance, Chad Dylan Copper. He, however, did it with more of a British air. I couldn't help but laugh.
I shook my head at him. "Demetri, it's nothing. Forget about it."
"Bella," he said. "How can it be nothing to make you cry? You've never cried like that before. You've always been such a strong person and I've never seen you cry before-at least not for anyone to see. It had to be something huge to make you cry like that."
I sighed heavily. "Demetri," I said tiredly, closing my eyes, "can we please just forget about it? I don't want to talk about it. Please?" I looked at him on the last word, my eyes wide and pleading. I didn't want to tell him that I had been crying because I had lied to my boyfriend/fiancée because I was afraid to tell him I was attracted to another guy albeit my ex boyfriend who just happened to be the one to find me crying in the first place.
He looked at me for a long while before nodding. "Fine," he sighed, "I guess there's no way to make you tell me. Just promise me that if you're in any kind of trouble or have any problems or anything that bothers you, you'll tell me about it?"
I nodded tiredly. "Fine," I agreed resignedly.
He grinned. "So how about that dinner with Marcus and the rest of us? I can assure you that you've never been to a restaurant like La Bella Italia. The food there-"
I cut him off, "Sorry but I can't go. I already have plans with Alice and I can't blow her off." He looked surprised and nodded understandingly.
"Of course," he said. He grinned, "Well how about we meet tomorrow? Same time; same place?"
I felt so horrible to dash his hopes but I had to. It was for Edward. I had to do this for him at least. "I can't," I apologized. He looked saddened and asked in a sullen voice, "Why?"
"Because you see tomorrow's Edward's birthday and we're having a party for him so… well…" I trailed off.
"Oh," he said, straightening up, "it's okay. I get it. I mean he's your boyfriend. You have to go to his birthday party…" he didn't bother to finish. He said, "Bye," and turned to walk away. I could tell he was hurt but was trying to hide it for my sake. He wanted to spend time with me but I couldn't because of Edward. I didn't feel guilty per say but I did feel bad for hurting him.
Over his shoulder, he said, "I'll tell the others that you couldn't come. I'll be here day after for your meeting with Aro. Moral support eh?" He grasped the handle and was about to open the door when I said, "Wait, D." I couldn't do this. I couldn't hurt him like this. "How about you come to the party tomorrow?" I asked. I prayed Edward wouldn't mind what I had done.
He perked up and agreed. We departed on a much lighter note. I gave him all the details and the directions to the Cullen house and told him to call me if he had any trouble. "Though you shouldn't since the way Alice decorates with all the lights…it's hard to miss. I swear you could probably see that thing from the highway, hell, maybe even the moon!" He chuckled at that and we bid each other goodbye.
I headed over to my car and drove as fast as I could to the Cullens. I had to see Edward, I had to. I had to have his arms around me, stroking my hair and whispering comforting words in my ear. Tears escaped my eyes as I thought over the last six hours of my life. I had almost completely forgotten Edward in the first few hours. Thankfully, Chelsea, her father and Afton had stopped me from making the biggest mistake and kissing Demetri.
Soon I had reached to the house and I raced out of the car. Edward was in his room and he was only wearing his jeans. His chest was bare and his hair was in its usual disarray. As soon as I spotted him, I bounded into his arms. "Hey, hey, hey," he said, "what's this all about it?" I clutched him tightly and he hugged me confused and kissed the top of my head. "I missed you," I whispered back. A few tears escaped my eyes again and Edward noticed. He pulled back to look into my eyes. "You missed me so much that you're crying?" he asked incredibly. I nodded and he pulled me back into his arms, his arms around my back, one hand stroking my ear. "Shh…" he said into my air as my crying became more and more out of control, "Shh…I'm here now." I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I was finally able to stop my completely irrational crying and I wiped away the tears quickly. Edward began to let me go but I whispered pleadingly, "Don't." He chuckled and pulled me back into his arms. We stood like that for an eternity. I never wanted to move.
Unfortunately our time together was cut short by a certain small person by the name of Alice who came rushing into the room, shouting my name. She took one look at Edward's and my embrace and then looked at me hard. I remembered that she was the only who had known I was with Demetri. As soon as I realized that, my face immediately transformed to one of guilt. Ooh she was going to kill me. Her green eyes narrowed when she saw my guilty expression and she snatched me from Edward's arms. I heard Edward chuckle again and say, "Don't go too hard on her Alice." I prayed she would listen to him before she ripped me apart and burned the pieces.
She towed me to her room and flung me on her soft bed. "Isabella Marie Swan," she screamed. Uh-oh, I thought, full name equals extremely mad and loud pixie. "Have you any idea how worried I was in the last hour?! I thought," she screamed before lowering her voice to say something, "Demetri," she whispered furiously and her voice began to rise again, "Had kidnapped you! I was so worried about you and you didn't answer your phone! Me and Edward were going crazy looking for you! And you were off gallivanting with You-Know-Who!" she finished in a low voice. I just looked at her. I felt so guilty for making them worry.
She looked at me and sighed. "So what happened?" she asked tiredly. I took a deep breath and told her everything. About how I might get a contract to become a singer and about the almost kiss. She gasped at that part and her eyes went wide with horror. She gasped, "Bella, what are you going to do? Are you in love with Demetri?" I groaned and exclaimed, "No! At least I don't think so. I mean I'm a teeny bit attracted to him but I can't be in love with him!"
She gazed at me solemnly for a long while before saying, "I think you might be." My jaw fell. I stuttered horrified, "W-what?! N-no Alice, hell no! I am NOT in love with him!"
She just looked at me and said, "Really Bella?" I looked into her green eyes and saw what she saw. I groaned in defeat, "Oh God, I think I am…" She grimaced good-naturedly and patted my shoulder as I put my face into my hands. "But wait," I said suddenly, as a thought struck me. "I know I love Edward but if I love Demetri too…is it possible to be in love with two guys?" I asked horrified. She shrugged and said, "I don't know, Bells."
I slid back into previous position. "Alice," I moaned, "What am I going to do?"
"Sorry, Bella, but I don't know…" she said softly. She laughed suddenly and I looked up and asked, "What?"
She shook her head and resumed her patting before she giggled again. "What?" I asked again.
She bit her lip. "Well, don't you think it's kind of funny that two years before Demetri was your boyfriend and you were falling for Edward and now, two years later, here you are falling for Demetri when Edward's your boyfriend? You can't win with you!" she giggled again.
I went into full drama queen mode, "How can you be laughing when my life is going up in flames?!" That just made her laugh harder and soon I was laughing with her.
"Okay," she said into between giggles, "you have been spending way too much time with Rebecca in Forks! You're starting to act like her, Ms. Drama Queen!"
"Hey, hey, you know you love us drama queens," I said, elbowing her. She laughed.
My friends from Forks and Phoenix had met probably the summer after the incident with Jacob. They immediately loved each other and Alice, Rosalie, Angela, Rachel and Rebecca were all best friends. All six of us were great friends still and every spring break, summer, and Christmas vacation, we would go to Forks or they would come to Phoenix. My musketeers loved Edward and their boyfriends all loved my guy friends. Paul had apologized profusely for giving Jacob the information about me and I had forgiven him, just warning him not to it again. The stuff about Jacob was out in the open now. Billy knew, Charlie most likely knew. I had seen Leah since the last time I'd been in Forks. She had carefully avoided my eye. She looked so forlorn and torn up inside tha I felt for her. But according to Angela, Leah was slowly getting over her depression and had gotten a new boyfriend. To my surprise it was Sam of all people. His girlfriend, Emily who was also Leah's cousin, had died from a bear attack in the woods the summer before last. We had gone to the funeral and poor Sam had looked as if he wanted to die with her. Emily's right side of her face was marred by the bear's claws and the funeral had to be close-casket because of it. I was glad that both of them were moving on. Leah needed to forget Jacob who had used her like a toy and then thrown her away and Sam needed to get over Emily's death. At least he was able to do it with the help of her cousin who was also grieving as much as he was. We all kept in close contact. Rachel and Rebecca had both gone away to study, Rachel in Italy and Rebecca in London. Angela and Ben were going to the University of Alaska together in the fall whilst Rebecca's boy friend Paul was going to University of Seattle and Rachel's boyfriend Embry to the University of Pennsylvania.
I was brought out of my thoughts by Alice who was saying, "So what are you going to do then?"
I shrugged, "Try my hardest to act normal around Demetri, I guess. I mean there's nothing else I can do." She nodded, and glanced at her watch.
"Oh my Carlisle!" she screamed, "It's half six! We have so much work to do still!" She squealed and dragged me downstairs. You know, for such a tiny person, Alice is actually very strong, I thought, I bet she could bench press a two hundred pounds if she wanted to.
Downstairs Rose, Jasper and Emmett were in the living room, relaxing. Alice's eyes bugged wide when she saw them.
"People!" she screamed at them. "I leave for half an hour and I find you people relaxing!"
They winced and looked guilty. "Sorry Alice," they apologized, sounding robotic. They scampered outside without another heartbeat.
"Wow," I said, plopping down on the vacant couch, "you really know how to clear a room." She plopped down next to me.
"That I do, Bells, that I do," she sighed.
Emmett passed by though and saw us relaxing. "Hey!" he shouted, "How come we're doing all the work and you two are relaxing?!" He pouted and we grinned at him and stuck our tongues off.
He slinked off and I asked, "Shouldn't we be helping them?"
Alice who was promptly falling asleep said in a sleepy voice, "Yeah, we'll go in a little while. Your problems tired me out." She yawned. I closed my eyes and tried to unwind. Just as I was about to fall asleep both Alice and I were hit with a blast of cold water.
"AHH!" we screamed jumping off the couch. Both Emmett and Rosalie stood there to power hoses in their hands aimed at us. Jasper stood aside looking amused. The cold water continued to hit us until we ran outside. Even then Rose and Em chased us with it. Rose was my attacker and Em was Alice's. "Emmett McCarthy Cullen!" Alice shouted, "Stop this now!" He laughed and continued to spray her with the hose. "You didn't want to get up?" he yelled, "So this is what ya get!"
"Rose!" I whined as the cold water hit me hard on my stomach. She grinned and said, "Well if you had gotten up and worked like the rest of us, we wouldn't have to do this now would we?"
They continued hosing us done until finally the only way out was to jump into the pool. With a great leap, I launched myself into the pool and Alice wasn't far behind. Finally they shut the hoses off and walked over to us. They knelt besides the pool, Jasper included. Alice and I looked at each other and we both glared at them.
"Oh you guys are so going to get it…" Alice whispered menacingly. I added, "This means war."
Alice inserted, "Pay back is about to come your way, people."
And I finished, "So be prepared."
Alice looked at Jasper and said, "Well, Jazz, you're going to get it the worst. For the next month, I am going to be studiously ignoring you. No kisses, no talks, and no…."
Alice trailed off and looked at him pointedly. Jasper looked terrified. "A-Ali," he stuttered. She looked away from him. Emmett laughed. "Ooh, poor Jazzy." He patted him on the back before saying, "Poor guy ain't getting some for the next month!" Jasper looked devastated by his announcement and Alice smug. They all slunk off Rose and Em to the living room and Jasper to the pool. I whispered, "Boy, you play dirty." She smirked and nodded, "Well, he did just ruin my five hundred dollar Chanel pumps so he has to pay." I laughed.
"What are we going to do to the rest of them though?" I asked, puzzled at what we could do for payback.
"Well, Rose…we can always ruin her clothes," she said, "But Emmett, he's way easier. All we have to do is throw all his video games, Wii and Xbox 360 away, away and away." She grinned evilly. We got out of the pool and went back to Alice's room where we changed clothes. Alice slipped on a very short emerald green mini dress which barely covered her butt and hugged every curve of her body quite well.
"Are you trying to make Jasper go mad?" I asked her incredulously. She laughed and nodded, "I did tell him he was going to get it the worst."
I chuckled and focused in slipping on my black skinny jeans which Alice of course had been the one to pick out for me. On top, she had me in a dark blue checkered spaghetti strapped flowy top. Normally the pattern was something I would never pick out but Alice had great taste since it looked absolutely wonderful on me.
"All ready," I said as I applied some lip gloss quickly. We linked arms and skipped, yes literally skipped, to Emmett's room. We made sure the coast was clear before we snuck in. Emmett's room was quite clean actually, a feat that didn't occur very often. According to Alice, Esme made sure that Emmett cleaned his room every day otherwise Emmett's room would be infested with cockroaches by now. Inside his room was a huge bed in the middle and another door led to his own bathroom and closet. There was even a couch in there and across from it a huge flat screen TV. Next to the TV, was a big book case filled with hundreds of video games. Four game consoles, a Wii and Xbox lay on the floor.
We gathered all the video games deciding that the Xbox and Wii would be hid instead of thrown away. I, being the only one to know my way around a video game, deleted all of Emmett's records and high scores whilst Alice snuck the Wii and Xbox in her room under the bed. Then we gathered all the video games in three cardboard boxes. We decided that the best way to crush Emmett was to take his Jeep and roll it over the games.
Silently, we took the Jeep and Alice driving, I set up the games so that it would be in view when the car rolled over them.
It was all set so I shouted, "Calling all Cullens and Hales!" After a few minutes they were all there.
"What's going on?" Edward shouted over the roar of Alice revving up the Jeep. I winked at him as Emmett came outside with Rose at his side. He spied his games and then looked at his Jeep and understanding took over his features.
"NO!" he roared and launched himself to grab the games. "Now, Alice!" I shouted and without a single second she crushed all the games and set the pieces of some of them all over the driveway.
Emmett reached only a second too late and he knelt at the side of the crushed games, his face twisted in sadness. "NOOOO!!" he wailed, sounding like if someone had just murdered his dog and not his videogames. He gathered them all up in his arms and Alice escaped from the Jeep and skipped over to my side. He walked over to us and glared, "How could y'all to do this to me?!"
"Well," Alice began, "you ruined my shoes so I got even and ruined your videogames!" She smirked at his forlorn expression.
He glared at her, "Have you any idea how long it took to make those high scores?! Now I'll have to start all over!" He turned to me and whined, "Bella-boo, how could you do this to me? ME! Your little Emmy?"
He pouted and I patted his head, saying, "Sorry, Emmy, but you threw me in a pool. I had to do something to get even with you!" He nodded unhappily and trudged away with his broken games gathered in his arms. I glanced at Jasper and he didn't seem to be taking in anything that Emmett had just said. Instead he was staring at Alice, lust clouding his features. I nudged her and inclined my head in Jasper's direction. "Looks like your plan is working, evil genius."
She grinned, "Time for Part Two of our revenge, Rosalie." She winked and snuck up to Rose's side, talking about some new line from Dior. Rose began to talk with her animatedly and soon she was absorbed in the conversation, not paying attention to anything around her or more importantly, me.
I snuck behind them and soon they were walking over near to the pool. I grabbed the same power hose that they had used on us. Alice stepped away from Rose, leaving my target wide open. Rose looked confused until she turned around and spotted me.
"You wouldn't," she said in shock. I grinned and nodded, "Oh yes I would." With that I sprayed her with the hose. She shrieked and the pressure of the hose made her back into the pool. She went in with a big splash and I shut the hose off.
"Now, our revenge is complete," Alice said with a grin.
She and I bowed whilst I said, "And I thank you." We laughed and high-fived and Alice skipped away to torture Jasper some more.
Edward was watching it all with a big smile on his face. I walked over to him and whispered, "Revenge is sweet."
He laughed and he kissed me on the lips. "My little evil genius," he said.
$~*^*~$
Later that day, Alice set us all back to work and soon the place was set up. The next day the food would arrive and then from there the caterers would set up. Less work for us to do, I thought as I nestled into Edward's embrace. Somewhere in the house I heard a clock chime ten. I groaned and began to get up from Edward's bed where I had been resting with him after Alice had finally relinquished me from party duties.
He groaned at the loss of contact and snatched my hand before I could fully get off the bed. He began to pull me back.
"Edward," I whined, "I have to go home. Renee will be worried."
"Stay," he breathed as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, "Tell her Alice invited you for a sleepover. Please? For me?" he begged.
I shoved him off, "Edward, come on, no. I have to get home." He pouted and I laughed at his expression. "Nope, not going to work. I'll be here tomorrow, whole day, I promise."
He pouted and I chuckled again. I kissed him chastely on the lips and left the warmth and comfort of his bed.
"Bye, I'll see you tomorrow birthday boy," I whispered. He chuckled as I left the room.
I left the Cullen house and soon I was home. I said goodnight to my family and went over to my room. I took a quick warm relaxing shower before I changed into my pajamas. I settled into bed ready for sleep to take me since I was dead tired but I couldn't sleep.
I lay in bed unable to fall asleep. Something was bothering me. It seemed that whilst I was with Edward, the thought of Demetri always came back to me. It was a nagging thought and no matter how hard I tried to forget, it was always there. And yet while I was with Demetri, it was so easy to forget Edward. Why was that? I asked myself. Did I love Demetri more than Edward? No. I knew that. Then why was it so easy to forget Edward but so hard to forget Demetri? It wasn't fair that the one I wanted to think about was the one who was so easy to forget about.
I loved Edward with all my heart, I knew that; then why was this thing with Demetri so hard? I mean we both had dreams of becoming a singer yes. But I also had dreams of becoming a vet, of going to college with Edward. If Aro did offer me the chance to become a singer, would I give up Edward to pursue it? I didn't know. Before today my dream of becoming a singer always seemed so impractical but now, there was a chance it could be real. Did I really want to give up my other dreams for it? Again, I wasn't sure.
If I took the chance to become a singer, then I would get to be with Demetri and fulfill my dream. I would go to far off places and travel doing the thing that I loved with a guy that I loved too.
But then what about Edward?
If I pursued my dream of becoming a vet, I'd get to be with Edward, the guy that I know I loved with all my heart, and I would get to be with my friends all while still pursuing something I loved. That choice helped me to do everything that I wanted to.
But then, what would happen to the impractical love I felt for Demetri? And if I did get the chance to become a singer, would I really give it up?
The daunting question haunted me. I groaned and stuffed a pillow over my head. I didn't want to think about that right now. Instead I focused on my boy troubles. If I chose Demetri, Edward would be so hurt. It hurt me to imagine the kind of pain he would go through. But then Demetri was already so hurt every time I mentioned Edward and seeing his pain hurt me too. I began to think about how it would be if Edward began to suspect what I had with Demetri. Although I wasn't exactly cheating on him, it still made me feel unfaithful towards him. I winced at that thought. Pain was all I could feel for him. Then again, how did Demetri feel when I left him at the studio for Edward? I mean I know he didn't love me anymore but I know he felt extremely hurt that I loved Edward and I didn't say I loved him back when he told me so long ago. That must have hurt him for so long. I had already hurt Demetri once and now I stood a chance of hurting Edward.
I began to think about both of their pains and without warning a song began writing itself in my head. It kept nagging me so I grabbed my journal and wrote.
An hour later I was lying on my stomach backward on the bed, my feet propped up in the air. I re-read the song for the millionth time. I had to play this thing for myself. If I didn't I would never get to sleep. I had named it "Unfaithful" but the song itself puzzled me. Who had I written it for? Demetri? Edward? Who did I feel more unfaithful towards?
I hoped playing it would make it seem clearer.
I groaned as I lugged myself off the bed. I snuck out of my bedroom. Piano would work better for the song so I had to go to my granddad's study. I tiptoed away from the room. Luckily both Mom and Mason were already sleeping so they wouldn't question me about it. The study was a little off in the unused part of the house so it wouldn't disturb them either.
As soon as I was clear of their rooms, I sped up my pace in order to get there faster. The house seemed creepier in the night so that made me walk even faster.
I slipped into the room and snapped on the desk light. It illuminated the room just enough so that I could see but not attract anyone to the glow. The piano stood in the corner next to the window. I could see a very starry night outside and suddenly I no longer felt as creeped out as I had before. I sat down on the bench and ran my fingers over the keys.
And so I began to play.
Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)
No, no, no, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Before I knew it I was crying. Crying for whoever it was about. Playing it hadn't made it any easier. All it had done was made me feel the hurt that I was giving to Demetri or the hurt I could give to Edward if I continued meeting Demetri without telling him. I had told him that Demetri would be around but I still hadn't told him I had been with him earlier that day. Edward trusted me and I knew that. I should have told him but I felt that I couldn't. I wasn't protecting him as I had told myself earlier on. I was protecting myself from the hurt I know Edward would feel when I was with Demetri. I felt unfaithful, unfaithful towards Edward for meeting Demetri, unfaithful towards Demetri for being with Edward.
I loved them both and yet I could only have one.
If I went with one, I could follow either one of my dreams.
But the other would be hurt.
In the end, someone was about to get hurt.
And I would still be hurt for them too.
Now, the question was:
Who would I choose?
$~*^*~$
Ooh ominous ending! Which will she choose? Edward, Demetri or maybe even Jacob! Yes people he is about to make an entrance…when? Well wouldn't you like to know?? Too bad my lips are sealed….
Okay guys, tell me what you think about this chapter! I love reading your reviews and truth be told, they make me write faster!
Thank you Forever Mrs. Edward Cullen for getting me off my butt to write more!! Your reviews were very much appreciated :)
Still missing those reviewers guys…where are they?? I have no idea I just hope they're still there and reading! Especially bella17leighanne and jpaicely who were two of the original readers! I hope you guys are still there!
I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SONGS MENTIONED IN THIS FANFIC SO PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!!
Hi to all my new reviewers!
Maryam AKA Bella: Remember that convo we had on MSN?? Yeah, I lied. Sorry :)
Olivia: To 3X I go :(
Anyway guys, go vote on the poll on my page if you haven't! Demetri is actually getting beaten by Jacob!!! Help him please!!
REVIEW PLEASE!!!
Lots and lots of love,
~Steph~